by Alla Kar
I pull Bella and Kat behind me, and turn to look up at what’s making that awful noise. At first, I don’t see it. The clusters of trees are branch upon leafy branch.
And then I feel Kat’s arm tug at my T-shirt, and then I see the movement on the third branch closest to the ground. Crouched, and almost unnoticeably still is a mountain lion. Its rounded ears are pushed backwards against his head, both green eyes narrowed in on us and claws clutching the branch below him. Bella makes the softest of pleas and squeezes my hand tight.
“Should we run?” Bella whispers.
“We have no other choice. He’s zeroed in on us,” Taborie whispers.
Kat sobs beside me.
“I thought you were supposed to stay still?” Bella says, her voice is frantic, I can hear the fear in it, and I know the lion can sense it.
Taborie makes a low sound and takes a careful sidestep. “On the count of three walk away slowly, just carefully.”
Oh, God. My stomach is reeling as I tighten my grip around Bella’s hand. I carefully pick up the sphere in my clutch and guide Kat a step over toward Taborie. And as soon as we do the cat launches forward, snapping the low hanging branch and lands smoothly on the ground.
It happens so fast that I’m surprised to see I’m running already. Limbs and branches snap at my face but my heart is pumping too wildly for it to hurt.
“No!” Bella screams and when I turn I see Kat lying on the ground. Her outstretched hand is shaking, her bottom lip trembling. But before I can lunge forward I see a flash of something jut out from the clearing and charge the cat. Kat scurries toward us, but it isn’t until I force myself to focus that I see it’s Taborie that charged it.
Bella is screaming something at me, but I can’t understand it. I feel both girls tugging on me, screaming, but I shove them off. “Run,” I say. “Run and don’t stop until you get back to camp.” I turn my head to the side. “Now!”
Bella grabs Kat, turns and runs through the woods and back toward camp. When I turn back, I can see blood. I’m not sure whose it is but I have a feeling it isn’t the cat. With the sphere in one hand, I charge the animal that’s now on top of him. I can see he’s fighting back but only with one arm.
My skin runs cold when I see why. His other arm is tossed to the side, blood is pouring from his shoulder joint, ligaments and muscles torn from one another. Anger flashes through me. He has a wife. A life. This can’t happen to him.
With all my might I slam the sphere down into the cat’s side and fling my weight into it. The cat cries out, falling to the ground beside me, while thrashing and kicking its limbs. All my wrestling techniques have flown out of the window, my adrenaline is pumping so hard I can’t think straight.
Taborie is twitching, his eyes wide and I see the panic has set in. “Calm down. Okay. It’s going to be okay, I promise.”
I’m panicking holding his half eaten arm in my hand. I fist my shirt and pull it over my head, tearing at the collar until I’ve ripped it into sections. The cat lets out another scream and I pray to God he isn’t calling for help. As quickly as I can, I press a piece of the cloth to the end of his arm. “I know this hurts but hold it. I’ve got to stop the bleeding.”
With a shaky hand, he holds the cloth to the end of his arm. My body is trembling like a woman but I manage to get a piece of the cloth tied tightly around his upper arm. “We’re going to be okay, Taborie. Hold on. We’re going to move now.”
I drop down to my knees and hurl his good arm around my shoulder and haul him up with me. He’s not a small guy, I’d say close to two hundred pounds of muscle but I get him up to his feet. He groans, dropping his weight against my side, forcing me to support most of him.
“Are they okay?” he says, his voice way lighter than before.
“The girls made it out fine.”
It takes me triple the time to get back to the waterfall. Kat is sitting in-between Bella’s legs with her back against her chest. They both look like they’ve been crying. Kat closes her eyes as Bella strokes her hair and her arms.
Bella’s head turns toward us and she jumps up, wrapping an arm around Taborie’s waist, she helps me lie him down on a blanket they had laid out for him. The cloth is already soaked with blood, so I pull out the last strip of my shirt and change it out. The bleeding is finally stopping but he’s lost a lot and is probably going to need to eat and rest.
“What do you need me to do?” Bella asks, her shaky hands touch Taborie’s shoulder and tears start to pour down her face.
Taborie makes a low groan and turns his head slightly in Bella’s direction. “Don’t start all that crying. I’m not dead.”
Bella laughs and wipes at her face. “Okay.”
A soft touch trails down my shoulder and to my elbow. “Why don’t you go warm up his fish and I’ll stay here with him. Is that okay?”
She must see the fear in my eyes. I want to scream and cry at the same time. His arm is—gone. I’m not a fucking doctor! I don’t know how to take care of this! “Go,” she coos, gently resting her palm on the side of my jaw.
So, I do.
I walk toward the wooded area that leads to the river bank. My body is trembling and the sight of Taborie torn apart is eating at my brain. Before I know it, I’m running full speed. Through the trees, branches and brush. My already scorched skin is ripping with each limb that slaps back against my face but I don’t stop.
I don’t stop running until I’m on the bank, my fingers digging into the muddy sand. I’ve been sad before. Hell, I’ve been broken since my brother died. But this is—something else entirely. I didn’t have to see my brother die, or see pieces of him. Taborie was trying to save us.
A loud scream rips from my throat and I punch the sand repeatedly until my hand is bleeding from the impact. I slouch against the bank and fall back until I’m staring at the sky.
The deep ache inside of me has tripled. I’m no longer mourning the faded loss of my brother, or the loss of the girl I’m dying for, or the loss of my best-friend. I’m mourning the loss of someone that’s going to die slowly in front of my eyes if we don’t get help soon.
Another round of sobs breaks from me, and I cry like a fucking baby on the bank. I don’t know how long I lay on the ground, staring up at the sun setting in the distance. When I feel the chilly wind whip at me, I get up and stagger through the darkness back toward the camp.
As soon as I get back I see the fish cooked and Taborie is asleep, but looks better than before. Kat isn’t in sight but I see Bella with her back to me, sitting in front of the fire.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring back any water. I—“
“I didn’t really intend for you to get any,” she says, turning to look up at me. Her gray eyes bright from the moonbeams. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know.”
She swallows, stands and grabs my wrists. She guides me toward the other side of the fire so we can watch the woods beside us. She sits down and pats the ground between her legs. “Lay down.”
And I do. Before long I’m sobbing into her shirt, grabbing at her like a lost child searching for his mother. With my head resting on her stomach, she begins to run her fingers down my shoulders and back. I fall asleep to the sound of Bella’s heartbeat. It drowns out the noises of the woods at night.
***
The sun wakes me up the next morning. I lift my head up from a T-shirt that I was using as a pillow, and blink against the sun peeking over the treetops at me. Slowly, I sit up and run my fingers over my face.
As I do, something flutters off my chest and onto the pine-straw beside me. My eyes flicker up toward the waterfall where I know she’s sleeping. I reach out and take the paper in my hands, holding it for a few minutes, wondering what it’ll say. Slowly, I unfold it.
In another life, I would make you stay.
So I don’t have to say that you were the one that got away. – Katy Perry
Chapter Eight
Bella
Kat braces her
hands on the side of the cliff as she relieves herself into the water. My stomach churns looking at her. She’s been up since nine this morning vomiting and it’s already three in the afternoon.
I rub my fingers over her back, and try to soothe her constant crying but it doesn’t seem to be working. Her small fingers clutch the rocks and she throws one in, letting out a violent scream as she does it. Tears flow from her eyes, small red patches have started to show up on her skin. And there isn’t anything we can do about it.
I jump at the soft touch of someone’s fingers on the back of my neck and I turn around to see Beau. His windblown hair is dark, giving his baby blues an electric look that would make any pair of panties dampen. “Why don’t you take a break from this? I’ve got it. You can go see if Taborie needs some water.”
I glance back over my shoulder at Kat who is curled into a tight ball next to the cliff. Smoothing her hair, I take a deep breath and stand to my feet. I try to avoid eye contact, the slip of paper I left on Beau’s chest has been weighing me down all day.
Because we both know it’s exactly how I feel and exactly why we can’t be together. We’re not meeting in a different life. We’re here now—and the reality of it is that our situation is more fucked up than most college aged romances. Regardless if we cared for one another before the accident, Beau is still my dead boyfriend’s best-friend.
“She hasn’t stopped throwing up?” Beau grabs my elbow and drags me to the side. I’m so hungry, it’s starting to weigh down on my stomach, it hurts to move or get up. I just want to lie down and rest all day. And by the half-moons hanging underneath Beau’s eyes, I know it’s wearing him down too.
I shake my head and wrap my arm around my torso. “No, it’s been constant. And I don’t know what’s causing it. Little rashes are starting to come up on her skin. What if she’s allergic to something, Beau? What are we going to do? When are they coming for us?”
Panic slides up my throat and starts to choke me. I bend at the waist and hold myself up with my hands braced on my knees. I feel Beau’s arms around me and I’m being carried away. I drop my head and watch the clear blue sky. No clouds. No rain. And no reason they shouldn’t have found us by now.
Beau sits me down, grabs my wrists and drags them over my head, while forcing me to lie backwards. “Calm down. We don’t need a panic attack, Bella. Please, just breathe.”
It’s a desperate plea, I see it. I take deep breaths and match his breathing as he stares down at me. He scratches the scruff of his jaw and quickly looks the other way. Pain is etched on his face and I want to kiss it away, but of course, I don’t.
Taborie stirs next to me and Beau gives me a quick sideways glance. “Are you okay to help him?”
With my arm braced behind me, I slowly sit up and drag my knees to my chest. “I’m fine. I can help him.”
Beau looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t. I wait until he’s disappeared on the other side of the waterfall before crawling over toward Taborie.
When I settle beside him, one of his eyes pops open and I jump. “You’ve been awake?”
Despite the torment of his arm being half-gone, a smile curls up his mouth. “More or less.”
Hiding my laugh, I begin to take off his makeshift bandage and change it out. “The bleeding has gone down,” I say, thankfully. “I was so scared yesterday. Thank you.”
Taborie rubs his almond shaped eyes with his good hand and sits up. “Who am I to let such young lives go?”
I take a strip of cloth Beau had set to the side for him. “You’re young too. What? Twenty four?”
He nods. “Yes, but I know where I’m going. I know my wife is strong and could pull through. And I know I’m where I’m supposed to be. God has plans for us all. And when I felt that push to help, I did it. I have no idea where any of you are religiously but I know that if I had died I would be going to Heaven. I couldn’t let anyone take the fall not knowing where they were going.”
Fear clenches my throat, as I pull the strip of cloth tight around his upper arm. I believe in God, I always have. My parents always took me to church on Sundays but I haven’t been in a few years since school started. “You’re brave.”
He gives me a one shoulder shrug and runs his tongue over his cracking lips. “So, what’s up with Beau and you?”
I sigh. “Nothing’s up. What do you mean?”
He rolls his eyes and wipes the sweat from his brow, before slowly lying back down with a groan. “You two are in more denial than I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
What? “What are you talking about, Taborie?”
“I know you both have a past. I see it in your eyes. The way you look at each other.” He shrugs. “It’s because you’re in love with each other.”
My hand slips from untying his bandage, and I bark out a nervous laugh. “You seem like a wise guy, but I know that’s not possible.”
He furrows his brow and places his big hand on my shoulder to get my attention. “Why would you say something like that?”
I shrug him off, picking up the remains of the dirty bandages and toss them into a pile in the corner of the cave. When I turn around he is sitting against the cave wall staring at me. “Please tell me you don’t think you’re incapable of love or anything, right?”
“Are we still talking about this?” I snap. “My biological father left me when I was really little. I haven’t really trusted guys since then. I date. But I don’t think I’m ready for love yet.” I slap my palms against my thighs and stare him down. “Can we please stop talking about it now?”
He drags his hand over his face and makes an exasperated sound. “You didn’t love Jordan either?”
A hollow ache forms in my stomach, threatening to eat me alive. “I don’t think so,” I whisper.
“Well,” he clears his throat. “Did you ever think that maybe you didn’t love Jordan for a reason?”
No. I put my palms up for him to stop talking. “Stop. Stop. Stop!” I yell, covering my ears and falling to the ground. I feel Taborie come closer and then I’m being turned toward him. I stare up at him with tears rolling down my face.
He presses his hand to my face and smiles. “I have to tell you this because I don’t how long I have—because I don’t know if we’ll make it. And I’m afraid no one will ever tell you this and it would kill me to know I didn’t tell you when I could. You care for Beau. Don’t let this incident keep you from him if that’s what you want to do in the future. Not now. Maybe not even a year from now. But one day you’ll have a chance. Take it. Don’t let this ruin your experience with love.”
Sobs break from my throat and I grasp at my chest in hopes the pain will go away. The guilt. And before I know it’s happening, memories start to unravel in my head, giving me no way out of the horrifyingly blissful nightmare.
***
Thump. Thump. Thump.
The three loud knocks shook the front door of my off-campus apartment causing my kitten, Homes, to scurry up and out of the room.
“Who in the hell?” I said to no one, putting my Bacardi Silver bottle down and slipping into my SpongeBob house shoes.
I turned on the lights as I went through the house, and checked the peephole but it was too dark to tell.
Jordan and Emily were out of town at a swim competition, and any of our other friends would have called before coming over.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Biting my lip, I opened the door slightly and peeked out. At first it was too dark to tell and then I focused in and saw his baby blues. My heart rate picked up and suddenly I felt like someone on the moon could hear it. I stood up, pulling the door back further and looked out.
His upright hair was half-fallen from the rain. One hand was holding several movie theater sized containers of different candies, and the other was holding a six-pack of Bacardi Silver’s which was my favorite.
“Sorry to barge over,” his voice was gravely, deep. “I didn’t want you to have to be alone on a Fr
iday night. I know Emily and Jordan are out of town. And we both know how chicken shit you are.”
I snorted, opening the door wider, giving him access to come inside. He gave me a small crooked smile and trudged through the entrance. His smell blew past me, warm and woodsy. Goosebumps ran up along my arms as I closed the door.
Homes was purring at his feet when I got to the living room. He was flung out on my couch, legs spread wide, his arms taking over the back. This wasn’t his first time coming over here while Jordan was out of town. Not that it was a secret. Jordan never questioned us hanging out so we never made a big deal out of it either.
“What is it today, Homes,” he said, reaching down to scoop him up and onto his flat stomach. “What are we going to watch?” he cooed and scratched the back of his ears.
I sat down beside him, propping my feet onto the living room table and scanning through the channels. I searched through all of the channels twice and then got an idea.
“I have an idea,” I said, setting the remote down on the table and taking another swig of my drink. I got up and walked over to Emily’s room, bringing out her guitar.
Beau’s brow lifted as I walked toward him. “I want you to play,” I said, waving the guitar in front of his face.
He growled, took the guitar and settled it on his knee. I watched his forearm muscle flex as he strummed his fingers against the chords. I brought my drink to my lips and took another sip. “How did you know I played?”
I smiled at him over the tip of my bottle. “I mentioned I wanted to learn to play some day in the future and Jordan told me you played. So, show me.” I gestured for him to play. “You’re being judged, Beau. You’re auditioning for your chance to be my teacher. You’re welcome.”
A loud laugh escaped his throat and my sex clenched. It wasn’t the first time it’d happen. In fact, it’d happened every time I was around him. Avoiding it was the best I could think to do, but it was slowly starting to wear me down.