Missing - Dead or Alive

by Peter Martin

  ‘You’ll wish you hadn’t said that Danny. You have no idea what you’re letting yourself in for – I promise you.’

  ‘Let me be the judge of that. Come on, are we going for that drink or not?’

  Maria nodded, took a tissue out her handbag and dried her eyes. When she had regained her composure they headed for the pub and inside with drinks in front of them, she told him the whole story. She must have talked for a full thirty minutes. Danny listened intently and seemed sympathetic and understanding, which was exactly what she needed.

  <><><>

  Bob sat at his desk, engrossed with a claim he was assessing for damage to the roof of a property, caused by a storm. But the strange part about it was the date the damage took place - the Tuesday night Maria left. How weird, when so much had gone on that night, he’d even travelled over to Toni’s and never noticed the weather conditions. And as he pondered he caught sight of Toni looking at him over her computer. Almost a month had passed since his infamous visit to her flat. Little had been said since, except for her to ask him how he was, to which he’d replied all right without elaborating.

  Bob had always felt Toni was over friendly and had been conscious of her having more than a keen interest in him. He got nervous as it was the last thing he needed so soon after his parting from Maria.

  ‘All right, Toni,’ he said, noticing her gazing at him.

  ‘Yes, oh sorry Bob. Just wondered if Maria had been in touch?’ She replied in a quiet tone of voice so no one could overhear.

  ‘No she hasn’t contacted me and everything’s still pretty much the same.’

  ‘You must get lonely and depressed at home.’

  ‘Yeah, I do. The weekends are the worst, but I suppose I’ll get over it eventually.’

  ‘Hey, do you fancy coming out with us from work? We’re all going to see a show, the musical Mama Mia - the one with all those Abba songs.’

  He deliberated for a little while, stroking his chin. ‘I wouldn’t normally, but if it’ll get me out of the house for a few hours, it might do me good. Go on then.’

  Toni’s face seemed to light up with pleasure.

  ‘We’ll be the only singles there I think – won’t that bother you?’

  ‘No. why should it?’

  And so it was settled, but as soon as he’d agreed he started to feel jittery about it. A blatant act on Toni’s part to make a play for him – but if he hadn’t said yes, she’d have taken the hump. He wished there was a way out of it, yet it seemed impossible.

  The closer the works ‘do’ got, the more anxious he became.

  However, an idea came to him the Saturday before the actual event. He’d been pegging out his washing in the back garden, and had heard the scrape of garden tools in the ground, it seemed to be coming from Debra’s house, next door. He could hear someone humming a tune as he approached the fence, and could just about make out Debra’s head bobbing up and down, while she did the weeding.

  Not wanting to embarrass her he shouted, ‘Hey, you never told me you had green fingers?’

  She looked up at him smiling, but obviously knowing he’d heard her little rendition, seemed momentarily lost for words.

  ‘I… I… I haven’t. It’s just a case of having to. Alan used to be the gardener of the family, but now he’s gone, I have to do it myself - unless you’d like to volunteer to do it for me.’

  ‘Oh no, I’ve got enough to do, thank you very much.’ Nodding to the line full of washing.

  ‘So how’s it going? Heard anything from Maria?’

  ‘No, I haven’t – how about you? I take it Alan hasn’t shown his ugly mug.’

  That made her laugh as he’d intended.

  ‘What did I ever see in him? Well, they say love is blind.’

  It was his turn to laugh this time and that’s when he decided to put the idea to her.

  ‘Listen Debra, I wanted to ask a big favour, but please, I won’t be offended if you say no.’

  ‘Oh dear, that sounds mysterious,’ she said smiling.

  ‘Don’t quite know how to explain, but there’s this girl at work – her name’s Toni. Well, ever since I’ve worked there she’s had this crush on me. Why, I can’t work out, I’m ten years older than her. Now Maria’s left me, and she’s found out about it, she’s coming on a bit strong. It’s my own fault – the day it all happened with Maria I was really down and went to her flat and confided in her. Well we drank and talked quite a lot but I think I’ve given her the wrong impression. Anyway, most of us from work are going to see the musical Mama Mia. And if I’m not careful, with both of us being unattached, she’ll cling to me like a leech. I wondered if you’d be willing to come along, to give me some moral support, and if she thinks we’re an item, will hopefully put her off.’

  ‘My God Bob, you’re asking a lot.’ She fluttered her eyes in jest.

  ‘Sorry, but it’s only for one night. If you’d pretend to be my new girlfriend, she’ll realise she hasn’t got a chance, and might leave me alone.’ He told her apprehensively, feeling a little uncomfortable.

  After thinking about it for a couple of seconds, she looked upwards, as if in need of divine intervention.

  Then she agreed saying, ‘All right, seeing as it’s you. But any rows or funny business, and you’re on your own, mate.’

  ‘Phew. You mean that?’

  ‘Why not? Actually, I fancy a night out. I can’t remember the last time I had a good time. It must be months…’

  ‘I promise you the show will be ace.’

  She smiled, giving the impression she quite looked forward to it. Bob was so relieved and grateful. On Monday he’d buy an extra ticket for the show, and wouldn’t say anything to Toni.

  The night of the work’s outing was upon them, and the offices were closed an hour early. Bob rushed home eager to get ready as soon as possible, in case Debra was shilly-shallying about what to wear. But when he went next door he was taken aback. She seemed composed, wearing a pink chiffon dress and a black jacket, her hair immaculate and freshly washed, her make-up emphasising her high cheekbones and oval face, and her slightly Chinese shaped blue eyes. Very impressive, he thought, and he told her so, which made her cheeks flush.

  They drove off into the night, arriving at the theatre at ten past seven. The musical was scheduled to start at seven thirty, but he was due to meet the others outside the main doors at seven fifteen.

  Bob felt a little on edge as he walked to the front of the building, with Debra holding his arm to enhance the effect. A group of his colleagues were waiting but of Toni there was no sign.

  ‘Hope she’s not hurt or offended, Deb.’

  She seemed to like the sound of her shortened name and replied, ‘Well, if she is, Bob, she is – there’s nothing we can do about it now.’

  Just before seven fifteen a taxi pulled up and out came Toni, but not on her own. A man accompanied her, handsome with slicked black hair and a pony tail. Bob couldn’t believe his eyes and neither could Toni when she saw him with Debra.

  Suddenly they burst out laughing.

  ‘Why Bob, you’re a dark horse if ever there was one,’ Toni exclaimed.

  ‘You can talk, you’re good at keeping secrets as well.’

  ‘I know and I’m sorry. You’ve no idea how worried I was about tonight. I thought you’d be so upset when you saw me with Jon. We’ve made up you see.’

  ‘That’s what I thought about you – I was frightened to tell you,’ Bob grinned.

  Debra laughed as did Toni and Jon.

  ‘It seems we both got it wrong. Oh Bob, I am so pleased for you after your breakup.’ Toni said.

  ‘And me you. I remember how upset you were when you two split up. Congratulations, oh and thanks for being there just when I needed someone.’

  ‘That’s what friends are for – as the song goes,’ Toni giggled.

  Later Bob couldn’t remember when he’d had such a great night. And as for Toni it looked as if he’d got the wrong end of the stick.
Perhaps it was the night out or being in Debra’s company, but he sensed this was a turning point in his life.

  PART TWO

  FIVE YEARS LATER

  Chapter 23

  It was late at night, Maria had already changed into her nightclothes, and was reading a book in the living room. In the background she could hear Danny’s rendition of Roxanne. He was busy in the kitchen making a bedtime drink. She’d noticed over the last month or so how contented he had now become. And put it down to moving into their new house.

  From where she was sitting, she could also hear the drone of what she always described as head banging music. Lizzie, now a fifteen year old rap music freak, always had her stereo on full blast. Thank God we’re living in a detached property Maria thought. She couldn’t stand today’s music, but she put up with it for Danny’s sake.

  Danny returned from the kitchen carrying two mugs of cocoa. Maria gazed at his handsome features, still unable to believe they’d found each other again after their chance meeting five years ago They’d lived together since then, first in a two-bedroomed flat and now in this house, located in a quiet area of Dexford near to Maria’s parents.

  She’d found happiness again, and although still married to Bob, it was in name only. Danny had been much more understanding about her feelings for Tim. And even agreed he was still alive, following that one sighting all those years ago.

  Over the years Maria’s train of thought had always led her to that fateful Monday night, when she thought she’d really seen Tim. Her conclusion remained the same – it had to be him, or why did he run away? Someone had once said - you never get over the loss of your own child - and her own experiences confirmed that to be true. That one sighting allowed her to cling to the hope that he was still out there and may yet come back.

  ‘Here you are love,’ Danny said, sitting down, bringing her out of her reverie. ‘Are you coming to bed when we’ve drunk this?’ He put her mug of cocoa on a coaster on the coffee table in front of them.

  ‘Yes, just want to look at what the weather’s doing this weekend – we’re visiting that Victorian Museum tomorrow – aren’t we?’

  ‘I know – it’ll just be our luck for it to rain all day.’ He grinned shaking his head.

  The news had finished, and the weather was due to come on after the interval. It would be almost eleven by the time they were in bed, Maria thought yawning, glancing at the clock on the mantelpiece.

  A sudden buzz at the front door made Maria jump.

  ‘Dear God, who’s that at this time of night?’

  ‘No idea, perhaps you ought to go and see, Danny?’

  ‘I better had seeing as it’s this late.’

  He forced himself out of his comfortable seat, went into the hall and switching on the light, walked towards the door. He could just make out the silhouette of a tall thin figure standing outside.

  Danny turned around to see Maria right behind him.

  ‘Put the chain on,’ she ordered him.

  Danny did as she asked before opening the door just a few inches. Standing before them was a young man of about twenty. He had cropped dark hair, the beginnings of a beard, pale blue eyes, a long face and a thin nose. He wore a pair of scruffy jeans, and a black tee shirt with the words Jesus Lives printed on the front.

  Maria suddenly gasped, causing her heart to leap. As he lifted his head, in a quiet timid voice he uttered, ‘Hello mum.’

  ‘Oh my God,’ Maria whispered, tears trickling down her cheeks. For a split second she’d thought she was imagining things, and that this was an apparition in front of her.

  ‘Well, aren’t you going to ask me in?’ There was a strange serious expression on the young man’s face.

  ‘Maria – is this who I think it is?’ Danny said, leaning on the door post for support.

  Tears of joy ran down the sides of her face. ‘Yes. This is Tim, my son, who’s occupied my every waking moment since he disappeared.’ She wiped her face with her sleeve saying, ‘Please take the chain off and let him in.’

  Danny released the catch, and stepped back to allow Tim, who was three or four inches taller than him, into the house. Once the door closed Maria reached up and putting her arms around his neck squeezed him tightly.

  ‘Let me look at you son. You’re so thin – don’t they feed you wherever you’ve been.’

  He smiled.

  ‘Come on in out of the cold.’ She ushered him into the room, unable to let go of him. ‘Sit yourself down, son. Where have you been all this time?’

  Tim didn’t speak. He sat on the edge of the sofa opposite her, looking uncomfortable.

  ‘Like a drink and a bite to eat?’ Danny asked.

  ‘Yes please.’

  ‘So what do you fancy?’

  ‘Anything,’ was his reply.

  ‘How about jam on toast, you used to love that I seem to remember,’ his mother said. ‘And a Coca Cola to go with it?’

  ‘Whatever.’

  Danny went out to make the toast and a drink, instinctively knowing Maria wouldn’t want to lose sight of her son.

  ‘I can’t believe it’s actually you Tim, and that you’ve returned to me at last – dear God, it’s been over five years without a word. What are you trying to do to us? I thought you were dead.’

  ‘No mum, I’m very much alive,’ was his sarcastic reply.

  ‘Where have you been? And why come back now? Was it planned or a spur of the moment thing?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ was all he’d say.

  ‘This is incredible. I’ve prayed so many times for this day to come. Maybe God is looking after me after all.’

  Danny came back a little later carrying a tray laden with food, which he placed on the coffee table. Tim’s eyes lit up at the sight of it. Maria watched him wolf down the food and drink in minutes as if he hadn’t eaten for a week. When he’d finished, he burped loudly, much to Maria’s astonishment.

  Tim passed the empty plate back to Danny saying, ‘More.’

  ‘Perhaps he’d like a piece of that Madeira cake I made yesterday?’ She suggested to her partner. ‘The poor lad is starving.’

  Without a word to Tim, Danny replied, ‘All right – coming up.’

  Tim finished the cake in no time, careful not to leave any crumbs on the plate.

  ‘Very nice,’ he told them.

  Danny smiled and cleared his throat causing Maria to look up at him. She could see from the expression on his face he was finding this a little amusing, even more so when Tim yawned.

  ‘I’d like to go to bed now, mum,’ he said.

  ‘What already? But we’ve hardly talked.’

  Tim puffed out his cheeks.

  ‘All right son, we’ll have plenty of time for that later. There’s a spare room you can use. I’m sorry it’s not like your old room, but I wasn’t expecting you.’

  ‘That’s all right,’ Tim said with another yawn.

  As it was late they all went upstairs together. Maria got the bed linen from the airing cupboard and showed him to the bedroom saying, ‘I’ve put a pair of Danny’s pyjamas and a clean towel in the bathroom, if you want to change before you go to bed?’

  ‘Thanks, that’s great, mum.’ Tim made his way into the bathroom.

  Maria set about making up his bed and was lost in thought when Danny said ‘A penny for them?’

  After a moment’s hesitation she replied, ‘Does he seem all right to you?’

  ‘I don’t know, it’s hard for me to tell, not having met him before.’

  ‘It’s just that… he doesn’t seem quite the same. He seems distant as if he’s not quite with it. Danny, I don’t know what to think? Where’s he been all this time? And why is he so reluctant to talk about it?’

  ‘He will in time. Who knows what’s happened to him during the last five years – it must have been traumatic whatever it was, albeit his own choice. Until he wants to tell us, there’s no point in surmising.’

  ‘And he hasn’t even asked about you �
�� why you’re here and why his dad isn’t.’

  The bathroom door opened then and there he was, wearing pyjamas about three sizes too small, looking rather odd.

  ‘The water was nice and warm.’

  ‘Feel a bit better now, son?’

  ‘Yes, but I’m so tired, I feel I could sleep for a week.’ He rubbed his eyes.

  Leaving the door open, he lay down on top of the bed curling his body up in a foetal position, asleep almost at once.

  Maria was astonished by this, but also a little disturbed by her son’s behaviour.

  ‘I never even got to say good night,’ she said.

  ‘Well, he did look shattered.’

  ‘Is he really here in this house with us? I can’t believe it after such a long time. But he’s changed – he’s not like he was before.’

  ‘He’s not likely to be love – he’s a good five years older for a start.’

  ‘Don’t you feel there’s something strange about him? But I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. You don’t think he’s on drugs?’

  ‘Who knows, but he seems fine to me. He probably feels awkward and embarrassed, because he’s been away for so long. Once he’s got re-acquainted with you, you’ll feel better about him.’

  ‘I do hope you’re right.’

  That night Maria’s anxieties and worries intensified. She tormented herself with thoughts of where Tim had been and why he had suddenly reappeared; and might he disappear again just as quickly? And on a number of occasions she had to get up to make sure he was still there, each time finding he was dead to the world.

  Early the next morning, around six, Maria, who’d been lying awake for hours, heard rummaging noises coming from Tim’s room. Those terrible panicky feelings came back, and she rushed to investigate, only to find he was already dressed.

  ‘Hi mum,’ he said with a smile on his face. He looked more like his father now.

  ‘You’re up early, aren’t you?’

  ‘I always get up early mum, or half the day is gone. I love to listen to the birds singing and see the new day dawning.’

  And I like the sound of the word mum, she thought.