Missing - Dead or Alive

by Peter Martin

  ‘Bob, please leave it – will you? You want him to run away again, before we’ve even got acquainted,’ Maria said, biting her lip anxiously.

  ‘Look, I know I did wrong, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen – ’Tim looked down at the floor, his right hand moving to wipe the sweat from his brow. For a moment Bob thought he was about to cry, but he didn’t.

  That tugged on Bob’s heartstrings causing him to back down and he decided to drop the subject. ‘If you could put yourself in our shoes you might have an idea, I can’t begin to explain. But like your mum said, never mind that now. I’m grateful to have you back.’

  ‘I always intended to come back,’ Tim protested.

  ‘So where do you live now?’

  ‘Here with mum – she said I could stay as long as I want.’

  ‘I meant before that?’

  ‘Nowhere special.’

  Bob’s anger was building again, but he’d better try to keep calm. ‘And how about a job? Do you work?’

  ‘I’ve done a bit of this and that.’

  ‘And what did you do for money?’

  ‘I got by.’

  ‘Bob, I’ve told you once, stop interrogating him like this. It isn’t getting us anywhere,’ Maria said.

  ‘Obviously not.’

  ‘Would you both like to stay for dinner?’ This was clearly an attempt by Maria to change the subject.

  ‘That’s nice of you to ask. Is it all right with you Debra? There’s no rush to get back is there?’

  Debra shook her head in agreement.

  ‘Good, that’s settled.’

  Maria must have already planned to invite them to stay for a meal, as there was more than enough beef casserole for all of them. No doubt she hadn’t wanted her son to be whisked away somewhere.

  Tim finished his meal quickly, Bob thought, although the food was delicious.

  The atmosphere had been tense throughout the meal and when Debra offered to wash up it seemed to lighten the mood. It was obvious she was trying to be friendly, probably sensing the two families needed to get on if any future relationship with Tim was to work.

  It was proving extremely difficult for Bob to talk to Tim openly in front of Danny. At one point the conversation dried up altogether. And when Danny suggested they try a glass of his home made wine or beer, Bob hoped it might lessen the tension between them. It also provided Danny with a subject to talk about, and he spent the next fifteen minutes outlining the differences between making beer and wine. They were just sampling his wine when the women came back.

  Although Bob had enjoyed seeing his son, the atmosphere remained awkward. So when Danny offered them a second drink, he declined saying they had to go because of the long journey home.

  He’d come intending to invite Tim to stay with them, so just before they left, standing on the drive in front of the house, he said, ‘Well Tim, we’d really love you to visit us soon. Cliffburn is a big town and it might be grey and drab, but it can also be vibrant and full of life, especially at night and during the summer months. So will you come?’

  ‘Sure dad - that would be great. When would be convenient?’

  ‘How about next weekend? If you catch a train from Dexford to Cliffburn, we’ll pick you up from the station, or maybe even be on the platform waiting for you, if you like. Would that suit you Maria?’

  ‘I suppose it’ll have to – he deserves to see his father as well as his mother.’

  ‘Fantastic. We’ll talk on the phone nearer the time –all right son?’

  Tim nodded, a smile appearing on his face.

  Just before they left, pledges were made to meet up again. Although somehow Bob couldn’t imagine this happening, it was just talk, and as long as he got to see Tim, he didn’t care.

  Maria sighed with relief, so glad to see the back of them. And fancy bringing Debra with him – the wife of the man she was supposed to be having an affair with. Oh well that was water under the bridge now, Bob could do what he liked. As long as Tim didn’t go to the north east too often, she could live with the arrangements.

  Going back inside the house, she was still mulling over the horrible thought that Tim might want to live up north. Danny gave her a smile as in turn did Tim and Lizzie.

  ‘You don’t have to go up to see your dad, if you don’t want to,’ she told Tim as they sat down in the living room together.

  ‘Why shouldn’t I want to mum?’ He said, an expression of bewilderment on his face.

  For a split second she was dumbstruck knowing she was the one who didn’t want him to go to visit his father. And in the end she said, ‘Well, you’ve never been there before, have you? Cliffburn’s not a very nice place at times – and you won’t know anyone apart from your father.’

  ‘It won’t be that bad, be good for him to see how the other half lives,’ Danny said.

  Tim glanced at them nonplussed as if he was unsure of what to do.

  So to disguise her feelings, Maria said, ‘You have to make your own mind up Tim, I don’t want to influence you one way or the other.’

  ‘Ok, mum,’ he said before getting up to go to his room.

  ‘So what was all that about Cliffburn not being a very nice place?’ Danny asked once he’d left.

  ‘Nothing. I don’t see why Bob should have all his own way after everything that’s gone on between us.’

  ‘Yes, but that’s got nothing to do with Tim – that’s between you and Bob. The lad has to make his own mind up based on how you both treat him. Bob hasn’t done anything against Tim, now has he? And that’s what counts.’

  ‘Maybe not, but I’m telling you, I don’t trust him. Tim has always looked up to his father, worshipped him even. But Bob was never as bothered as me about Tim’s disappearance as you well know. And can you imagine what it would do to him if Bob lets him down? He’ll go away again and this time he might not return. After all, was it something Bob did in the first place that made him leave?’

  ‘Hey, aren’t you overreacting just a little here? Why not let Bob dig his own grave, then the lad will see his dad for what he really is.’

  Maria shook her head vigorously and felt fearful. ‘I can’t allow it to go that far. I might have to tell him a few things about his father.’ She intended to do all in her power to keep Tim in her life.

  Danny raised his eyebrows, obviously not approving, saying ‘Look Maria I don’t know what on earth you have in mind to say to the lad, but unless it’s the absolute truth it may backfire on you.’

  But it fell on deaf ears, Maria was adamant she wouldn’t let Bob have all his own way.

  A couple of days later, unable to hold back any longer, Maria decided to confront Tim about his imminent visit to Cliffburn. Lying outside on the sunbed he was listening to R&B music on Galaxy radio. She turned it down a little and came to sit down beside him.

  ‘Lovely day – isn’t it son?’

  ‘Yeah, just right for sunbathing in, not too hot and not too cold.’

  ‘So how’s it going Tim?’

  ‘All right.’

  ‘Happy?’

  ‘Yeah, why shouldn’t I be?’

  ‘No reason. I worry over you - that’s all. I’m so glad you’ve come back, it means everything. Hope we can go out to a few places together – what do you think?’

  ‘Sure, why not?’ He grinned.

  ‘So are you still looking forward to meeting up with your father?’

  ‘Yeah, it should be cool.’

  ‘You’re not thinking of staying in the north east for any longer than a weekend are you?’

  ‘I haven’t really decided, but it might give you and him a rest.’ Tim nodded towards the house and continued, ‘He doesn’t like me mum.’

  ‘Who doesn’t – your father?’

  ‘No, him.’

  ‘You mean Danny.’ To which he nodded faintly much to Maria’s surprise.

  ‘Come on Tim, of course he likes you. I’ve already said it’s come as a surprise to him
, as it has to all of us – that’s all, you suddenly turning up on our doorstep like that.’

  ‘I’ve seen the way he looks at me. He hates me because he wants you to himself. At times he really scares me, and I don’t know what might happen if we were alone.’

  ‘You’re imagining this, honestly you are. He understands how important you are to me. Even before you came back, I couldn’t stop talking about you, for God’s sake. He knows, how I feel about you.’

  Tim had a look of horror on his face. ‘He’d like to banish me off to dads; I can see that in his eyes. That’s why he’s so keen for me to go up.’

  ‘That’s never going to happen. You’re more than welcome to stay here as long as you wish. Do you think after waiting five long years to get you back, I’d want you to go and live up north? No way. You just let him try. But I promise you, Danny genuinely likes you, and if I’m not mistaken, Lizzie’s got a bit of a crush on you as well,’ she said grinning at him.

  ‘God no, she’s only fifteen – a bit too young for me. I’m glad I came back to you mum. I’d been thinking about it for ages, but it wasn’t until recently that I found the courage to do anything.’

  ‘I’m so glad you did because now my life is complete. And you just let anyone try to change that.’

  ‘Thanks mum that means a lot.’ A wry smile came on his face, and he leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek.

  Chapter 25

  Standing on platform one at Cliffburn Central railway station, Bob and Debra waited for the early evening train to arrive. They were glad to be under cover as it had been raining heavily for most of the day.

  By six thirty five, the train was running ten minutes late, but according to the arrivals board it should be here soon. Then the train appeared in the distance, breezing into the station before slowly coming to a halt. The sliding doors opened and out came hoards’ of people. Bob cranked his neck as high as he could, in search of his elusive son, fearing even at this late hour the lad had chickened out of coming, or had disappeared again. But then there he was as large as life, walking towards them. Tall and lean with his cropped black hair and piercing sky blue eyes. He wore jeans, tee shirt and a denim jacket. On his shoulder he carried a traveller’s bag.

  Bob waved and shouted his name; Tim waved back. When he reached them, Bob greeted him with a bear hug almost suffocating the lad to death, while Debra acknowledged him with a pat on the back.

  ‘Glad you made it son – let me tell you we’re going to have a great time together. You won’t believe what I’ve got planned for the weekend.’

  Tim grinned as if he found this rather amusing.

  They both put their arms around him, guiding him back to their car.

  ‘You’re in for a big surprise when you get to the house too, Tim,’ Bob smiled.

  ‘Oh yes, and why’s that?’

  ‘You’ll have to wait and see.’

  It was mostly small talk as they drove home. And passing through the town centre, Tim seemed impressed, constantly muttering ‘cool’, as if he liked what he saw.

  Fifteen minutes after leaving the station they arrived at the house. The semi he and Debra lived in was the very same house he and Maria had moved into five years’ earlier when Debra had lived next door with her husband Alan in the adjoining semi. Bob was surprised when she agreed to rent out her semi and move in with him. But Alan had gone and since she’d not heard from him, she could do little else. Sadly she couldn’t sell the house because his name was also on the deeds.

  Opening the front door, Bob allowed Tim to go in first. As he looked the place up and down, from his countenance, it was hard to tell what his thoughts were.

  ‘Why don’t you put your stuff in your room, it’s the third door on your right at the top of the stairs,’ Bob urged him, winking at Debra who was in on the surprise.

  They followed Tim up, Bob grinning to himself in anticipation of his son’s reaction. He longed to see the look on Tim’s face when he opened the door.

  Tim stood in the doorway, stopping in his tracks, and for a split second seemed totally freaked out. Then a huge smirk flashed across his face.

  ‘Hey, this isn’t real dad.’ He commented. ‘You haven’t done this especially for me, have you?’

  ‘Funnily enough your mother instigated this years ago when she and I lived here. She had this crazy notion you’d turn up here one day – and wanted you to feel at home.’

  ‘How brilliant?’ Tim laughed. ‘Mind you I’m too old for most of these things now. But what a fantastic idea.’

  ‘We thought you’d be amused by it. Anyway, we’ll leave you in peace - I expect you’ll want to get unpacked and settled in.’

  Tim nodded. So Bob and Debra went back downstairs.

  Afterwards they ate a meal together, then watched TV and talked a little about what they’d do on Saturday. Bob told him about the tickets he’d bought for a football match in the afternoon and suggested booking a table for three at a top restaurant in town. Tim eyes lit up with delight. Which pleased Bob no end as he hoped to build up a good relationship with his son after missing out for so long.

  Later that night in bed, Bob asked, ‘So what do you make of him, Debra?’

  ‘He seems a nice decent lad.’

  ‘A chip off the old block, wouldn’t you agree?’

  ‘That’s hard to say, but he does look like you.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose he does. Only wish I could find out what’s been going on with him these past five years. I keep getting the feeling he’s hiding something from us. We’re not seeing the real Tim, not yet anyway.’

  ‘I can’t say because I didn’t know him before. I agree there’s a lot we don’t know, that we may not find out unless we can get him to talk to us. Although right now that doesn’t seem likely.’

  ‘Well, at some stage I’m going to try.’

  ‘Good for you, love.’

  The next day after getting up late, the morning seemed to fly by. A quick lunch was followed by father and son going off to see Cliffburn Rovers in a Premiership game at their new sixty thousand capacity stadium. Tim seemed mesmerised by the experience, having only previously seen Dexford Town in their small two thousand seat ground. The atmosphere was electric, the game a good one, helped by the score, a 3-1 victory for the home team. Bob’s enjoyment however, was more off the field, watching his son engrossed in the match. To stand at Tim’s side like this was a dream come true.

  On the way back, Tim laughed and joked as if he’d enjoyed the experience.

  ‘A bit like the old times, eh son.’

  ‘Yeah, only better,’ Tim exclaimed. ‘That atmosphere was out of this world. I could get used to going there every week.’

  ‘Well, that might be possible, if you’re game.’

  ‘Just you and me dad? That would be great.’

  ‘Yeah, it would that.’ He was already seeing images in his mind of all the things they’d do together.

  ‘Wish we didn’t live so far away from each other.’

  ‘Me too, son – but I can’t do anything about that.’

  Tim frowned. ‘There must be a way.’

  ‘Well I can’t think of one. But it could be much worse. At least now we can meet up.’

  ‘I suppose you’re right, and besides we’ve got a slap up meal to go to tonight. Wish it was just me and you going, dad.’

  ‘Yes, but we can’t. Debra is my partner and I love her to bits. There’s no way I could leave her out of this.’

  ‘But she doesn’t like me.’

  ‘You what? Come on, she does, son. She’s told me so several times, and she’s lost a child of her own. Perhaps you could help fill that gap for her.’

  ‘You’ve got it all wrong dad. I’m certain she’s jealous of me and you. If the three of us are together, she’ll try to leave me out, I’m sure she will.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. Maybe I can’t make you believe it now, but in time you’ll realise what she’s really like. She’s a special person, w
ho was there for me after your mum left – and I can’t imagine what I’d have done without her.’

  Tim pulled a face which could have been because Bob was being cheesy, or maybe he hadn’t liked what was said.

  Pierre’s was a French à la carte restaurant in the centre of Cliffburn, serving the finest food. Bob intended this to be a real celebratory meal and that’s how it turned out.

  By the end of the night, he thought they’d got on really well together. The talk was of old times, and fond memories of before Tim went AWOL. Recalling funny stories that had Debra laughing too. But the five missing years, were never mentioned for fear of antagonising the lad. Perhaps one day soon, Bob hoped, Tim would reveal why he’d left and what he had done since. And finally put those ghosts to rest.

  Awake in bed that night he felt happy, despite what Tim had said about Debra. A warm glow ran through him, as he thought of how much he’d enjoyed his son’s company. If only Tim could live with them permanently or be shared more fairly, but that would be difficult to pull off.

  Debra snuggled up to him, kissing him tenderly on the lips.

  ‘Have you had a nice day with Tim?’ She asked.

  ‘The best. I never dreamt I’d see him again and had almost got used to that idea. But now I realise how much I’ve missed not having him around. I love the kid to death, Debra – but I just wish I could find out what’s going on in his head. It brings it all home, how lucky I am that is, compared to you, knowing you’ll never see your daughter again. I hope I can make sure he’ll never want to leave again.’

  As Debra kissed him once more, he couldn’t begin to imagine what she’d gone through in losing her only child. And despite what Tim claimed so far she hadn’t shown any sign of bitterness over Tim’s return.

  Nothing had been planned for Sunday, except for them to have lunch together. To Bob’s delight once they had finished eating Tim remarked how he had enjoyed the roast beef Debra had cooked and volunteered to help her with the washing up.

  Although Bob protested, Tim insisted on helping out. So Bob sat back to watch a film on TV. He stretched his arms and legs feeling so relaxed. What a weekend we’ve had, he thought, pity Tim had to go back. He contemplated when they might next meet up – hopefully in the next week or so – and started to plan how best to spend their time together.