“I still have to go over to the Loxxy. That’s what the hotel is called, right? Sophie mentioned that a lot of the pieces over there are yours. I want to see them.”
He nodded. “Yeah. That was one of my first large orders.”
“So I wanted you to know the poinsettia is doing really well.”
“Good. I’ve been worried about it.” A hidden smile coated his expression. “I never asked. Are you going to check out the polar bear dip?”
“What is that?” I asked.
“Well, a bunch of crazy people jump in frigid water to raise money for the library. It’s mostly guys.”
“Can’t imagine why.” I laughed. “When is it?”
“Saturday. I’ve got a good team together.”
“I can’t wait to see it.”
A cocky smile spread across his lips.
“So tomorrow’s the cookie exchange, and I still owe you for our last bet, so I’ll be sure to deliver lots of baked goods before you freeze to death in the water.”
“That’s right. You wound up getting that Christmas tree I pointed out in the very beginning, but you were afraid of missing out on a better one. Seems to be a theme.”
I shot him a playful glare.
“Anyway, I’ll be sure to make good on my end of the bargain, but you still haven’t come through on yours.”
“What? The pickle and peanut butter sandwich?”
I nodded.
“You name the time and place, and I’ll be more than happy to polish one off.”
“Good.”
His eyes fell to my lips, and the familiar charge pulsed through me.
“I’ve been thinking about you a lot,” I told him.
“Is that so?” he asked, propping his leg on a stool.
“Yeah. I like our friendship.”
“I definitely gathered that.” He grinned.
“But I love the feelings that come over me when I think about you.”
“What kind of feelings are those?”
“Well, it generally starts with an overall tingle, followed by a warmth that floods my entire body. It depends how long I let the fantasy go before—”
“Now it’s a fantasy? Not just feelings?” He cut me off, his eyes darkening.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t my thoughts be fantasies?”
He studied me carefully, and I slowly parted my lips, sliding my tongue along my bottom lip.
“Isn’t a fantasy what transpires when you can’t have the real thing?” I asked, moving closer to him.
His mouth curled into a dangerous grin.
“I think that’s what a fantasy is, anyway.” I shrugged my shoulders, standing less than a foot away.
Nick’s eyes fell along my body before bringing them back to meet mine.
“What kind of fantasies do you have?” he asked, sliding his foot off the stool.
“Depends. Sometimes, I imagine us against the wall. Other times, I think about the hot tub and how hard it was to behave myself that night.”
“Well, you’re not making it easy on me right now,” he said in a low voice.
“I wasn’t trying to make it difficult.” I smiled. “I’ve done a lot of thinking since you were at my house last, and I’ve never experienced these feelings.”
“What feelings in particular?”
“Uncontrollable lust.”
He laughed.
“Is all this talk working?” I asked.
“You tell me,” he growled, pulling me against him.
It certainly was doing the trick.
“Do you feel this way with your other friends?” I teased.
“Not in the slightest.”
“Me neither.” I giggled. “I’m tired of being scared of losing your friendship.”
“You won’t lose it.”
“A thought did occur to me last night.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“What if you’re lousy in bed and I never call you back? Has that ever crossed your mind?” I placed both hands on my hips.
A smile crossed his lips. “Doubtful.”
“It must be nice to be so confident in all things.” Electricity ran through me, and I dropped my gaze.
He touched my chin and lifted it up.
“Some things are just fact.” The familiar spark in his eye drilled a deeper longing into me.
“There’s going to come a point when you’re going to have make good on all these promises.”
His hands ran under my jacket, and I knew I was close to getting what I wanted, but I needed to hear something. What made him visit his dad? I shifted my hand to his and took a deep breath.
“I have to confess that I thought last night I was going to come home and you were going to explain to me why you’ve done such a good job of putting me in the friend category.”
“I’ve been putting you there because you wanted me to.” His head cocked slightly.
“I don’t think that’s entirely true.” I let out the breath I’d been holding. “I’ve never made out with my friends before.”
Nick sat on a workbench and pulled me forward.
“You said yourself that you didn’t want to lose our friendship.”
“You forced that out of me last night. I was working through it just fine on my own.” I chuckled. “Maybe slowly, but I was ready to jump into friends with benefits. Then you blew it.” I giggled.
“Is that so?”
“For the record, I’m not a crier and I don’t like that you saw that,” I informed him. “I don’t cry.”
“There’s nothing wrong with letting emotion show.”
“I’m glad you said that.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Because I think you’re not telling me everything.”
“About what?”
“Where did you go?” I asked softly.
“I feel like you already know.” He studied me.
“So where did you disappear off to?” I asked him again.
“I wanted to check on my dad. I hadn’t seen him in a while. He lives in Idaho.”
“Oh?” I asked, draping my hands over his knees. “How’d it go?”
“About as well as I expected.”
“Well, not all relationships are as glorious as mine and bird lady’s.”
He laughed, shaking his head.
“What? It’s true.”
“I’ll have to remember that.”
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and having a holiday fling with my sexy neighbor would be a pretty spectacular Christmas present.”
“A holiday fling,” he repeated.
I nodded.
A flicker of desire dashed through his gaze as I tossed my jacket onto the dusty workbench, but he still didn’t budge.
“I realized I’ve been lying to myself. Sure, I like my life, but everything is pretty surface-level. You know how your friendships back in the city were superficial? Well, I’ve developed the same pattern, but with relationships.”
“You don’t say.”
“What I thought was fun was nothing more than a distraction.”
“A distraction from what?” I asked.
He pressed his lips together. “What I really want out of life.”
“Which is what?” I asked.
“I don’t want to suffer through another holiday acting as if I’m completely happy and not missing out on something when I’m missing out on the one thing right in front of me.” His eyes steadied on mine. “So I’ll do anything you need just so I have you in my life.”
I sank into the sweetness of his words, but I knew there was more.
“When my parents divorced, it jaded me on the idea of love and monogamy. If you don’t promise it . . .”
My blood rushed through my veins.
“Have you cheated in the past?” I asked.
“Never, but my father did. A lot.”
“That doesn’t mean you will. You know the pain it caused your mom. You wouldn’t do that.”
“I ha
dn’t seen my dad in years. I thought maybe it was time. I don’t know what I expected, but I can tell you that what I saw was what I never want to become.”
I nodded, waiting for more.
“What became apparent from the visit is that I’ve been a master at fooling myself into believing I’m truly happy.” He looped his arms around my waist.
“There’s nothing superficial about how your friends feel about you. They love you to pieces. I think you’re quite happy.”
“No, you’re totally right about my friends. I’m lucky.” His gaze fell to the floor. “But I’ve been wrong about what I want out of relationships.” The darkness in his gaze returned as his eyes connected with mine.
“What is it you want, Nick?”
“I want you.”
“Then you’re in luck.” I grinned, but he shook his head.
“I refuse to rush things.”
“It would make sense that a man as oblivious about the central themes of a good eighties movie wouldn’t have a clue about women.”
He laughed.
“We’re overthinking things,” I told him.
“It’s the safe thing to do, especially with something this important. We live across the street from each other. It’s not easy to move.”
I chuckled.
“What’s the right thing to do?” I asked.
“I don’t think there’s a right and wrong here.”
“Does that make us doubly screwed?” I slid my hand under his shirt, feeling the dips of his muscles beneath my fingertips.
“Possibly,” he murmured.
“I was foolish to think I could ignore my sexy neighbor,” I told him.
“Completely foolish,” he agreed, moving his fingers along my hips and pulling me closer. He slid his fingers under my shirt, and a pulse of desire pulled me deeper into him.
“I’ve got some serious issues. How could I have resisted you for so long?” I teased.
He looked at me quizzically.
“Kiss me,” I whispered. “Let’s just have fun. Put everything aside and enjoy a good old-fashioned holiday fling.”
“Are you sure about this, Holly?” he whispered in my ear.
“More than you can imagine.”
Nick’s eyes connected with mine as I ran my fingers through his hair. He slowly moved forward, but he didn’t kiss me. He gently dragged his lips along my neck, and a shiver ran through me. His hands dipped lower, and my body trembled as his fingers skated between my skin and panties, teasing me, grazing me.
I pushed my fingers through his hair, bringing his mouth back to mine. The moment he kissed me, every worry about our future fell away.
His fingers explored me, leaving me completely breathless as his kisses deepened.
He slid off the workbench but lifted me on top, our kisses not even slowing as he slowly circled his fingers in all the right places. The sensations running over me made my entire body crave more, but his fingers slowed as he teased me, pushing and pulling me to the edge several times.
“I’m about—” I whispered, but his mouth pressed harder against mine as my body shuddered into his, my breathing ragged and my world spinning as he kept working to pull me over. I’d never experienced such insane pleasure before, and we were both fully clothed.
His kisses slowed, and I tried catching my breath as I blinked my eyes open to see him watching me.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
“I can’t do this.” He shook his head. “I was wrong.” I felt his breathing steady, his arms still holding me tightly against him.
“About what?”
“I can’t do casual with you. There’s nothing casual about us, and I just made it like—” He stopped himself, and I was grateful for it.
I knew what he was going to say. He treated me like the others.
The worst part was that I felt comfortable in his arms, like this was where I belonged, and now he was shoving me away. I swallowed the last part down and closed my eyes, still resting my head on his chest.
“It’s okay not to want a serious relationship. We’ve done well keeping things light. Just because it’s the holidays, you don’t have to rethink life. Count yourself lucky that you know what you want out of a relationship.” I straightened up, looking at him.
“It’s not about that,” he said softly, shaking his head. “It has never been about that with you.”
I saw the same pain in his gaze that I felt running through every fiber of my body, and I knew it didn’t matter what I said. He’d already made up his mind.
Chapter Eighteen
I grabbed my purse and made my way out to the car, slyly looking to see if his truck was in the driveway.
It wasn’t.
Maybe he reactivated his Tinder account.
Not that it mattered.
I slid into my car and took off toward Sophie’s. A girl’s night couldn’t have come at a better time.
By the time I’d arrived at Sophie’s, I’d gotten myself all roiled up.
I tore up the steps and handed Sophie the tray of cookies as she opened the front door.
“I’m so ready for some holiday cheer.” I grinned and took a deep breath, hearing Bing Crosby in the background.
“Well, we’ve got plenty.” She smiled and welcomed me inside.
Her home was gorgeous. Everything in her home was stunning yet perfectly homey. I saw a wall of windows overlooking Puget Sound, but it was too dark to actually see the water, just flecks of light in the distance.
“Your sister’s not here yet. She said she’s going to be a little late because she burned the first batch.”
I chuckled. “Sounds about right. That’s why I always volunteer to do baked goods.”
I followed Sophie into the kitchen, and Natty jumped up from the table where she was constructing a gingerbread house.
“So good to see you. What can we get you to drink?” Her eyes were huge and she glanced over at Sophie.
They knew.
“I get that you’re best friends, but seriously?” I groaned.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Natty muttered.
Sophie poured me a cranberry and vodka and handed it to me.
“Good guess on the beverage.” I took a sip.
“What can I say?” She ushered me to the table and pulled out a chair. Natty sat in front of the half-completed gingerbread house and let out a sigh.
“But I swear. Nick didn’t say a word,” Natty told me. “To either of us.”
“It was more what he didn’t say.” Sophie drew in a breath. “I’m taking it his visit with his father didn’t go well.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think it gave him the answers he was hoping for.”
“So he called it off?” Sophie shook her head, not even waiting for my response. “Bastard.”
Maybe that’s all they were talking about.
“Well, I don’t know. I mean, we didn’t really have anything going. Just a kiss here or there, some harmless flirting.” As I spoke, the knot in my stomach tightened. “He doesn’t think he’ll be able to be faithful. I’m assuming that was a thing with his dad?” I didn’t want to admit what really happened. We went too far without both being on the same page. I pushed him there, and he fell into his same pattern and blames himself.
“Nick has never not been faithful.” Natty groaned, shaking her head. “He’s too considerate for his own good. Now, he’s worrying about something that might never happen.”
“His dad was a dog, but I don’t know why Nick’s all of a sudden worried about it.” Natty put icing on a gumdrop and stuck it on the roof.
“Maybe he’s been worried about it all along and that’s why he gravitated toward Tinder,” I offered.
“Could be, but I think he was more talk than not on Tinder hookups.” Sophie poured a cup of punch. “This one time, he told me had a hot date in Seattle. Anthony and I happened to be headed to a gallery opening in the city. I shouldn’t even be saying this
.”
“Now you have to.” Natty laughed.
“Well, he was at the same opening all by himself. He made up some excuse about his date canceling, but Anthony and I knew he was lying.”
“Why in the world would he care?” Natty asked. “Why would he imply that he’s dating when he’s just wandering around an art show?”
I was wondering the same thing.
“The man’s got a reputation to uphold,” Sophie said with an exaggerated smile.
Natty shrugged.
“Hello.” A new voice hummed through the air. I glanced toward the front of the house, and a redhead came bounding in with a platter of cookies.
“Our favorite teacher.” Sophie hugged her and took the plate of cookies.
“Tori, this is Holly.”
Tori’s eyes grew huge, and I knew for a fact that she knew.
What, in particular, I wasn’t sure.
“So good to meet you,” I said, giving her a hug. “I feel like I already know you.”
She laughed. “I could say the same.”
My stomach clenched.
“We were just discussing Fireweed’s favorite boy toy.” Natty rolled her eyes.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” She grabbed a sugar cookie and took a bite.
“So is he acting differently?” I asked.
“Definitely. He’s all over the place. Scattered.” Tori studied me, and I realized she was indeed a schoolteacher. “You really like him.”
“I feel very lucky to live across the street from him.” I nodded.
“Yeah, Fireweed is known for nice neighbors, but that’s not exactly what I was talking about.”
Sophie handed me a refreshed drink and I took a gulp.
“I feel like I need backup. When did my sister say she was coming?” I joked and Natty chuckled. “I like him a lot. He’s genuine, kind, caring, compassionate, and I pretty much spend all day thinking about him like I’m back in junior high.”
“That’s how it always begins,” Sophie muttered.
Tori twisted her hair into a quick twist and took a seat.
“Well, I know I’ve never seen him this heartbroken.” Tori took out her phone. “He texted me that he was grabbing a pizza for dinner and wondered if Mason, my fiancé, wanted any. He texted a sad face. Nick doesn’t do sad faces.”
Tempting Love on Holly Lane (Island County Book 5) Page 15