Heart and Soul (Love Inspired, 251)

by Jillian Hart

  As he followed the low murmur of Michelle’s voice, he felt abject terror. There was more than his life at stake. It was his future. It was his soul.

  The murmur became music and he waited outside the doorway. Just looking at her. She was enough to fill his senses and his heart for eternity.

  He’d never seen any woman look so beautiful. Sunshine slatted through the blinds in the big window seat behind her, cherishing her as she sat in a wooden rocker holding her precious niece. She gazed down at the infant while she sang a lullaby he didn’t recognize, singing the melody so quietly, he couldn’t hear the words. The gentle grace wrapped around his heart and held him captive. Opened him wide.

  All he was, all he would ever be was hers. It wasn’t a decision.

  It just was.

  As if the angels had brought him here to find the woman he was destined to love for all time.

  “She’s asleep,” Michelle whispered to him without looking up, changing to a soft hum as she stood with her lithe elegance and carried the child to her crib.

  He watched captivated as Michelle gently laid her beloved niece in the polished and well-appointed crib. Love shone in this room from the coordinated wallpaper and window coverings to the mobile and sheets. Love shone, too, on Michelle’s face and in every gesture as she brushed her hand over the infant’s soft blond head.

  She’d make a great mom. Brody had never let his thoughts wander in that direction before. No woman had ever inspired that thought in him until this moment.

  “What are you doing up here?” She didn’t look at him as she stepped into the hall and she drew the door nearly closed behind her.

  “I was sent up to fetch you. They’re starting a new game and they’re waiting for you.”

  “No, I mean, what are you doing here? In my sister’s house?” She deliberately moved in front of him so that she didn’t have to look at him. Because then she’d see the horror on his face. She’d see the rejection. Because he had to have heard her. Had to have overheard her confession.

  “Zach invited me, remember?”

  Great. She just knew who to thank for her humiliation. Michelle walked fast as she could down the hall, but Brody kept a pace behind her.

  Thank heavens he wasn’t going to bring up what he’d overheard. He wasn’t going to make an issue of it. Okay, so she was clued in. There was no way that a great guy like him with the world at his feet was going to fall in love with a small-town girl like her.

  So what did she do now? She felt unsteady, so she grabbed the banister railing for support. The wood was cool and smooth beneath her hand as she kept ahead of him so that it didn’t feel as if they were going down the stairs together.

  She took one look at her sisters, all smiling and happy for her—except Kendra, who never thought falling in love was a good idea. Even Zach was beaming. There was a rap on the screen door and through the mesh she could see Kirby’s husband, Sam, a big hulk of a man, flash her a knowing wink.

  They all thought it was so cute, the way she had a crush on Brody. She did not think it was cute. At all. Not when everyone knew about it.

  “We’ve saved your place, Michelle.” Karen gestured to two empty seats beside her. “And one for Brody. We decided to seat you two together.”

  Wasn’t that special? Oh, this was going to be so uncomfortable! Could anything be more embarrassing than this? She didn’t think so. Everyone acted as if Brody had proposed, and how crazy was that?

  Well, he was acting as if nothing had happened. Good call. That’s exactly what she was going to do, too. Just erase that comment she made so she could pretend it never happened. Hit the delete key. Press the back button and rerecord. Erase the chalk from the blackboard.

  She dropped into her chair as Zach rescued a popping bag from the microwave. Sam took a seat next to Kirby, Kendra got up to get napkins, Karen asked about Allie, and through all the activity, as loud as it was, it was merely background noise to the fact that Brody was easing into the chair beside her.

  Love filled her. Gentle and sweet and life changing, making her all shivery and tingly and lifting her up, as if she were sitting on a big fluffy cloud.

  She was only distantly aware of Zach setting two popcorn bowls on the table. The buttery good fragrance might be one of her most favorite on earth, but not even popcorn could tear her attention away from Brody. His iron-hard arm brushed hers.

  A place in her heart opened. A place she’d never known before. And it filled with a love so pure and great, she felt as if it changed her. Completed her.

  “Michelle, it’s your turn.” Kendra nudged her. “Stop daydreaming and roll.”

  “Daydreaming?” She hadn’t been daydreaming. This was no dream. This was real, and she was full and floating. She hadn’t even got to dreaming yet.

  She grabbed the dice and rolled, barely paying attention as Brody took the dice next and rolled. Did she notice what happened next? No. She was only aware of his scent, the rhythm of his breath, the brush of his skin to hers, the shift of his body, the beat of his heart within hers. The overwhelming love that left her dazed.

  Kirby’s husband, Sam, rolled high and started the game. She heard the tumble of the dice on the board and the groans as he dropped his token on a property.

  “I’ll buy. The railroads always bring me luck.” Sam slapped his money down in front of Kendra, who was in charge of the bank.

  Kendra separated the play bills. “Michelle, you’re in charge of the properties.”

  “I am?” She hadn’t even noticed the stack of cards someone had placed right in front of her.

  Somehow she thumbed through the cards. Luckily, someone had put them in order and she didn’t have to go far to recognize the deed. “Sure, like you got the first railroad, but I’m going to get the other three.”

  “That’s what you think, kiddo,” Sam threatened with a teasing wink.

  “Is that a challenge?”

  “More like a declaration of intent.”

  Kendra rolled and the dice tumbled across the board and into a tumbler of soda. She squealed when she got doubles. She moved her token onto Vermont Avenue. “I’ll buy, and I get to roll again. Okay, dice. I need a seven so I can take the next railroad.”

  “Kendra, how’s the new filly?” Zach asked.

  “Shh, I’m trying to concentrate.” Kendra cupped the dice, as if to exert her will on them.

  Brody felt Michelle’s fingers brush his wrist. “Do you think you can stand my family? Are you ready to run for the door?”

  “Nah, I’m going to hang around. People who act like this need to be kept under close surveillance. Soda and popcorn and Monopoly. I saw Zach stoke up his grill on the back deck. My guess is barbecued hamburgers.”

  “Kendra brought the potato salad.” When Michelle looked up at him, it was with a new light in her eyes. A radiance that matched the glow he felt inside.

  As if a dream inside him had been brought to life. A chance for real love. For a real life. A secret wish he’d been too afraid to pray for all these years. But it had lived inside him all the same. The hope that one day he would find not what he’d lost as a boy, but what he needed as a man to make him happy. What he’d never figured he’d find—a woman of goodness and gold and spirit.

  God had planned this all along. Brought him here on his last assignment.

  The last thing I can do is fall in love now. In the middle of an investigation. Please, show me what to do next, Lord.

  It felt more than wrong to be investigating these people. They were good, kind, decent. A real family with a bond that wrapped around him. Without question. Without judgement. Including him in their good times. Trusting them with their beloved youngest sister.

  She sat next to him, spine straight, feigning disappointment when her sister landed on and bought Pennsylvania Railroad. Apparently it was a longstanding family battle for those properties.

  “My turn!” She rolled the dice and watched them roll. “No! Oh, no.”

  She
hid her face in her slender hands. Her gold bracelets clicked. Her earrings brushed against the soft skin against her jaw. She was so delicate and feminine and so amazing. He loved her so much that he hurt.

  “I can’t believe this!” Good-naturedly, Michelle laughed at herself, too, moving her little silver shoe to the Reading Railroad. “I can’t believe I owe you, Sam. Yeah, I know, twenty-five bucks.”

  “Hand it over.” Sam seemed like a good guy, holding out his hand for the rent payment. “Hey, too bad this isn’t real money.”

  “Yeah, Michelle, you could pay off your credit cards,” Karen piped in. “And buy my half of the coffee shop.”

  “I don’t want to own your coffee shop. I love working there, don’t get me wrong, but owning a business just isn’t for me.” Michelle gathered the dice and pushed it in Brody’s direction. “I have other dreams.”

  Brody didn’t mind the way the sisters exchanged questioning looks and amused comments. No. He knew about dreams. Because he was sitting right beside one. A dream, rare and perfect, that God had placed within his reach.

  Brody vowed right there and then, as he rolled the dice and landed right next to Michelle on Reading Railroad, that being stuck beside her was exactly where he wanted to be.

  For the rest of his life.

  Chapter Ten

  “This is so like a movie or something,” Jenna said, as she loosened the reins to let her horse drink from the creek.

  “Definitely a movie,” Michelle agreed as she gave Keno his head so he could drink from the cool water, too, on what felt like the hottest day they’d had so far this summer.

  It had been exactly a week since she’d spent time with Brody. Between her work schedules, she was gone long hours. It was a peak time for both the salon and the coffee shop. Between people getting their hair done before going on vacation and tourists spotting the coffee shop and stopping by for iced drinks and a bite to eat.

  Brody had spent long hours with her dad in the fields. She’d spot him every morning when she fed and watered the horses. He’d be already hard at work, a speck against the distant fields, at her dad’s side. She’d come home after dark every evening this week, and Brody’s lights had been off in his apartment. Probably sound asleep from the long day of manual labor.

  She missed him. It was as simple as that. And today, he hadn’t been at church. He hadn’t been at his apartment afterward. His bike was missing from its usual place in the carport. Where had he gone? Or maybe—she hated to think it—he’d been trying to avoid her.

  The Monopoly game had been fun, with Sam and Kirby teaming up to defeat Karen and Zach. Zach had grilled burgers and they’d eaten on the shaded deck outside, talking about nothing, really. But every moment, Michelle had been aware of what she’d said. Of how he’d overheard her. Of how he didn’t react at all.

  The first available chance he’d gotten, he probably decided to avoid her. Keep his distance because it was easy to see what she wanted. A man to marry. A man to love. She wanted that man to be him.

  “It’s too romantic for words.” Jenna sighed. “The mysterious stranger comes to town and falls in love with one of the locals. It’s a happy ending all around. An idyllic courtship. A heartfelt proposal. A wedding of her dreams. And a husband to die for.”

  “Heck, why stop there? Let’s make him financially well off. And he has to be happy living in a small town.”

  “And never leave the love of his life again.”

  It was too good to be real. Michelle knew that. And it hurt. “Keep dreaming, Jenna. Maybe one day it could happen.”

  “Dreams happen all the time on TV. You just have to know which shows to watch.”

  Jenna was teasing, sure. But what about real life? Michelle shifted in the saddle at the sound of a motorcycle. It was only a kid on a dirt bike revving along the public trail. Not Brody.

  She shouldn’t feel so disappointed. “I’m talking real life here. Sure, romance is nice, but do you know what? The problem with romantic dreams is that they involve men.”

  “They are supposed to involve men,” Jenna said.

  “Yeah, but men are…men. You know. Maybe there are fewer good ones than we think.”

  “I know what this is about.” Jenna drew solemn as the horses, having their fill of the cool water, lifted their heads and splashed back to the trail. “This is about Rick.”

  “No, this is about reality. Good men don’t just fall from the sky. Or fall in front of you in the road. There’s always a catch.” She knew he didn’t want her. That was the catch.

  “Are you saying Brody isn’t a good man?”

  “He’s a great man. I’ve never met anyone like him.” Longing punched inside her. “But I’m not going to let this crush turn into anything else.”

  It was too late, she knew. But it was her story, and she was sticking with it.

  “Because he’s like such a mystery? A stranger? You hardly know anything about him. He just shows up in town. That would make me nervous, too, if it came to risking all my heart.” Jenna was completely sympathetic, one hundred percent understanding.

  Even so, Michelle still couldn’t say the words out loud. She loved Brody. If she kept it silent and to herself, then maybe it would hurt less when he broke her heart. “Mr. Wonderful, Dark and Handsome is going to leave one day. And this time around, I’m going to keep my dignity.”

  “This is about Rick!” Jenna sounded so distressed. “You can’t let someone who lied to you influence the rest of your life.”

  “I know. I believe that, too. This is about me. If Brody doesn’t know how I really feel, he can’t hurt me as much.”

  “You don’t know that. You might have to give him time. You’ll get to know him more and maybe he’ll get a crush on you.”

  “I wish.” But she wasn’t holding her breath. She’d probably faint from lack of oxygen.

  The truth was, Rick had shattered her. He’d been her first big love. He’d come with flowers and promises and praises that made her feel cherished and special. She believed him. And when he’d betrayed her, when she found out the kind of man he truly was, she’d felt worthless. She hated to admit it, but she did. She’d let a man who didn’t respect her make her feel as if she’d never be good enough.

  And how bad was that?

  But he was one man. Not Brody. Brody was the genuine thing. A real man. One who worked hard, lived with integrity, who had never lied to her. Never pretended.

  She respected him for that. Admired him even more.

  The thought of trusting a man, really trusting him, made her shake down to her soul. But when she thought of Brody, she wasn’t as afraid. He was one man worth trusting. She knew it down deep.

  That’s how much she loved him.

  They’d reached the part of the trail where the public river trail bordered her family’s property. As they’d done since they were six years old, Michelle drew her horse to a stop at the path that trailed through the alfalfa fields. Her way home. “Did you want to come over and have supper with us? Tonight we’re at Kirby’s house.”

  “Nah. I’d love to, but it’s my brother’s birthday. We’re having a dinner over at my gramma’s house. I’ll call you later?”

  “’Kay.” As they had done for almost twenty years, Michelle nosed Keno down the path that would take her home, waving a final goodbye to her best friend.

  She wasn’t going to think of Brody. She wasn’t. What she had to do was find a way to keep the love she felt for him locked away and hidden. Her very own secret.

  If only he wanted her. If only he loved her. She’d wished for a lot of things in her life, but nothing with as much genuine longing as this.

  Nothing had seemed so impossible.

  Keno nickered, stalling in the middle of the path. His ears swiveled and he lifted his nose, smelling the sweet-scented breeze. An odd flickering began at the nape of her neck and rose up over the back of her head. Her pulse began to pound not from fear but from recognition.

  She
stood up in the stirrups and saw the familiar palomino. What was their horse doing tied up out here. And wait, there was something moving in the grass. A shock of dark hair, a hard curve of steely shoulder—

  Brody.

  “You were right, buddy,” Hunter’s voice crackled in Brody’s ear. “Mick may be lying low, but he can’t keep away from the blackjack tables.”

  “It about killed me today to watch him go and I couldn’t tail him.” Brody had spent the better part of the afternoon coordinating the operation that kept Mick under surveillance. “Did we get him on the cameras?”

  “I’m with the head accountant right now. She came in just to help us. We’ve got the casino’s security cameras watching his every move. He hasn’t passed one of his twenties. Yet.”

  “He will. With the setup I saw today, he’ll use the cash. He can always make more.”

  “You were in his house?”

  “Yep. And the captain is going to like what I found.” It was exactly what he’d been expecting, but better. Much better. “How’s the warrant coming?”

  “I’ve got to check my e-mail. Daggers was going to let me know as soon as he gets it. I’ll call you. Hey, and be careful.”

  “You, too, buddy.” Brody clicked off the phone and shoved it into his back pocket.

  While he was here, he’d change the battery packs in the hidden surveillance cameras he and Hunter had set up during their after-midnight missions.

  The snap of breaking grass made his blood freeze. He’d been keeping an eye the road, and he was pretty well hidden by the crest of the gentle rise of the land. So if someone was sneaking up on him, from the fields rather than the road, he was in trouble.

  In a flash he saw it all: his cover blown, Mick stalking him through the grass. Years of training had him reaching instinctively for the revolver tucked in the back of his jeans.

  Instinct made him hesitate, too. He didn’t draw his weapon. There was too much noise. Something felt off. Wrong. There wasn’t a threat in the air. The larks were undisturbed, squawking happily. He heard the seed-heavy grasses rustling in the ever-constant breeze and the sudden low, whoof as a horse exhaled loudly.