The Cowboy's Holiday Blessing

by Brenda Minton

  Dylan had a load of bulls in Texas, and Gage was busy riding bulls.

  Sophie did her own thing these days, and usually it had nothing to do with the family.

  Everyone had lives, stories and places to be.

  He should have been here sooner. If not for himself, for his mom. The look on her face when she turned at the end of the service drove that thought home. Yeah, he should be there for God, for himself, but his mom was the one looking right at him, with tears in her eyes.

  After the closing prayer everyone stood, people moved and he had enough sense to know that most of them were heading his way. Jackson in church on a Sunday that wasn’t a holiday? They’d all be wondering why.

  “Hey, brother.” Travis clasped his hand and shot a look from Madeline to Jade. “You coming out to the house for lunch?”

  “I plan on it.”

  Travis leaned in close. “You bringing your little family?”

  Jackson squeezed the hand that still held his. “Travis, don’t make me have to take you out back.”

  Travis laughed and pulled away, a good-natured pup who needed a serious thump on the head. “Nothing wrong with settling down, brother. The three of you look kind of nice together.”

  Jackson reached but Travis moved a little quicker these days.

  And then his parents stepped close. This had gone from a decent idea to one huge complication. Jade was in his mother’s arms and his mom stared at him, eyes wide, lots of questions and answers.

  Sooner or later he would have to talk to Jade, explain things to her. But looking at her in the middle of his big family, watching her smile and laugh, he knew it wouldn’t be easy and it would break her heart. He could give the kid Christmas with his family. That’s what she wanted, a family.

  “Are you coming out to the house for lunch?” His mom still held on to Jade and with her free hand she reached for Madeline, pulling her close. And they were all looking at him.

  Yeah, he’d planned on lunch with his family. Now that plan seemed to include the two females who were doing a lot to complicate his, up to now, uncomplicated life. Yesterday it had felt good to do something nice for Madeline. It had felt pretty decent to spend an afternoon with Jade.

  But taking them home to his family felt a little… He pulled at the collar of his shirt and wished it was not quite so hot.

  “Jackson?” His dad shot him a look.

  “Of course we’re coming out for lunch.” He avoided looking at Madeline but he couldn’t miss the very pleased smile on his mother’s face.

  Sandwiched on the truck seat between Jade and Jackson, Madeline tried to make herself smaller. She sat up straight and kept her shoulders in. The truck turned and she slid a little toward Jackson in his new jeans, his dark cowboy hat covering blond hair that managed to look a little messy and made him a whole lot cute.

  For the first time in her life, she felt young. She felt like a sixteen-year-old in a pickup on a Saturday night. It felt good. And frightening.

  “Nervous?” Jackson smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners, and then shifted his attention back to the road. He reached to turn up the radio and an old Randy Travis song filled the cab of the truck. Forever and ever, Amen.

  She’d never thought about loving someone forever. She’d always thought that being single meant being safe from being hurt. Safe now seemed to be a thing of the past.

  “Of course not. Why would I be nervous?”

  He laughed loud. “You and I both know that this isn’t a simple lunch. The minute you sat down next to me, everyone in Dawson had us paired up and started wondering when we’d be announcing the big day.”

  She choked a little because she hadn’t expected him to put it so bluntly. “Thanks.”

  His left hand firmly on the wheel, he moved his right arm and slipped it around her shoulder. His fingers tweaked her sleeve, and her arm buzzed beneath his touch.

  “It’s okay, Maddie, we’ll get through this and in a week or two, people will realize you were the person rescuing me and Jade.”

  Why didn’t that make her feel any better? Because he’d just let her know, in a sweet way, that she wasn’t anything more than the person helping him out? Why did it suddenly, painfully, matter?

  They pulled up the driveway that led to the main house of the Cooper ranch, the Circle C. Cooper Creek flowed through the field and circled back through the stand of trees farther on. The house, a big, brick, Georgian place, sat back from the main road. Trees lined the driveway.

  The Coopers were everything a family should be. The Coopers were everything she’d ever wanted. Probably everything Jade had ever wanted. Not that they didn’t have problems, but when they did, they drew together and held on to each other.

  She’d never really had a family. Hers had been a group of people and it had never been safe or nurturing. Foster care had been a respite for a few years but she’d been too closed off at that time to get attached to her foster parents. She’d kept in touch for a few years but she’d finally stopped writing.

  “They don’t bite.” Jackson leaned close as he pulled to a stop behind another car. Lucky’s family piled out of an SUV. Jackson’s hand rubbed her arm and he pulled her close for a brief instant.

  “I know they don’t.” But her heart pounded hard, achingly hard. Not because of the prospect of lunch with the Coopers, but because Jackson’s arm around her held her tight.

  He held her tight and she wasn’t afraid, not of him.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m good.” Not good.

  Her heart crumbled a little with the knowledge that it was this man who made her feel safe. It shouldn’t be him. It didn’t make sense that safety and fear should tangle together in her heart, pushing against each other.

  Jade had already jumped out of the truck. Jackson reached for his door and settled one last look on her before pushing it open. “Time to face the music, Maddie.”

  “So sweetly put.” She ignored the hand he held out. “I should have gone home. You could have spent this day with Jade and your family.”

  “My mother would have taken a switch to me if you hadn’t come along.”

  “I doubt that.”

  He laughed and pulled her close. “Darlin’, you have no idea. My mom is probably thinking you’re one of the answers to her prayers. All our lives she’s prayed for God to send the perfect person into our lives at the perfect moment. And she has no doubt that God will honor that prayer.”

  “But I’m not…”

  “You won’t be able to convince her of that.” He leaned close, and she wondered if he meant to kiss her. He didn’t. He flicked her chin with his finger and stepped away.

  She obviously brought this new self-control out in him. Way to go, Madeline. For the first time she wanted to be held and for the first time in his life, Jackson Cooper had self-control.

  Madeline took a deep breath and stood a little straighter. Time to face the music. She managed a smile and to not melt when Jackson held her hand and walked her up the steps of the big house, straight into the circle of trust that was the Coopers.

  Jade didn’t seem to have a problem. She stood in the middle of Jackson’s very overwhelming family and allowed them to pull her in.

  “What’s for lunch, Mom?” Jackson’s thumb brushed the top of Madeline’s hand and he didn’t let go.

  Angie Cooper turned, smiling big, reaching for Madeline and forcing Jackson to let go. Madeline loved Angie Cooper. She was gracious, dignified and always kind.

  “Madeline, thank you so much for helping Jackson with this…situation.”

  “It hasn’t been a problem.”

  Angie’s smile softened as did her expression. “Of course it hasn’t. But it means so much to us.”

  Coopers were everywhere. They were laughing and talking, teasing each other. Angie Cooper continued to talk, not bothered at all by the constant commotion around her. Her family. Jackson’s family.

  Madeline nodded in answer to Angie’s questions
. In the blink of an eye Jackson stood next to her. She smiled up at him, pretending to be strong, because she’d pretended for a long time. But in the middle of this family she felt so much like a fraud, because she’d never had a family, not a real one.

  She was strong. She’d spent the last fifteen years telling herself she was a survivor, not a victim. But survivors still had to deal with the past, with fear, with leftover anger and resentment.

  With baggage that didn’t unpack itself.

  She’d done a lot of baggage unpacking. There were a few little things she still carried around with her, she knew that. But eventually she knew she’d let it all go. She’d trust enough to let it go.

  She brushed a hand across her cheeks to wipe away stray tears that had trickled out before she could get control of her emotions.

  “Let’s walk.” Jackson took her by the hand. “Mom, we’ll be right in to help set the table.”

  Angie Cooper shot her son a narrow-eyed look. “Jackson.”

  “Five minutes.” He winked at his mom.

  Madeline thought about telling him no. But for Jackson, his charm seemed to come naturally. He could wink at his mom, smile and they all went along with his plans. At that moment she had no choice but to go with him. She either went or she fell apart in front of his family.

  Somehow he knew that she needed a minute to gather herself. Later she would thank him for that little bit of intuition. Later she might even wonder how he knew her so well.

  Hand in hand they walked out the front door, down the steps and across the lawn. Neither of them spoke, which was good. What would she say when they did speak? Sorry for being so ridiculous?

  At a small gazebo at the edge of the lawn they finally stopped. Jackson smiled down at her, a gentle smile. No wink. No flirty grin. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay. I thought a little fresh air might help.”

  She nodded, unsure. “I’m fine, really I am.”

  He stood in front of her, and she felt as if he saw everything about her. Including the things she didn’t want him to see. He touched her cheek. “You’re sure? Because I recognize that ‘need to escape this family’ look.”

  “I’m sure.” She laughed a little because she had been thinking exactly that.

  Was that part of Jackson’s charm? He could read people and it made a woman think that he really cared, really understood? Of course that was it, and for that reason alone she should back away.

  He shouldn’t be the man she wanted to kiss. She moved closer and his brows arched. His hand moved from hers. He slid it around her back and held her close. But he didn’t kiss her.

  Okay, fine, she would make the first move. She could do this, even if she fainted in the process. She didn’t plan on living her life in a box, afraid to feel. Braver than she’d ever been in her life, she stood on her tiptoes and rested a hand on his shoulder. Jackson whispered her name as he bent and drew her close. Telling herself she wouldn’t regret it, she touched her lips to his, closing her eyes to the landslide of feelings that slammed her heart.

  “Madeline.” He pulled back first.

  “I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say. “I can’t believe I did that.”

  “You don’t have to apologize.” He winked—a little of the old Jackson obviously still existed.

  She had kissed Jackson Cooper and he had pulled away. Now she had to go back in the house with him, sit at the table with him, and pretend it didn’t hurt to be rejected, to be the woman that Jackson Cooper could resist.

  She blamed herself. She’d taken a single moment and turned it into something it hadn’t been, ever. He had done a few sweet things for her and she’d obviously taken it wrong. Last night she’d thought he would kiss her and he hadn’t. She should have learned then that he wasn’t interested.

  As she hurried up the steps he called her name. She didn’t turn back. She wouldn’t. She’d been humiliated enough. For years she’d been praying that God would help her move past her fear. This probably hadn’t been His plan.

  The front door of the house opened. Heather Cooper, blonde, petite, pretty, smiled. “Madeline, Mom told me you were here today. She said to find you and Jackson.”

  Heather peeked around her. “There he is.” And then her attention refocused on Madeline, and Madeline wanted to melt into the concrete of the front porch. “Are you okay? What did he do?”

  Nervousness turned to hysteria. Madeline giggled and then laughed. She turned to watch Jackson walk up the steps, still the gentleman, shrugging and saying nothing.

  “Nothing happened.” Madeline wouldn’t let him take the fall for her mistake. “Nothing at all.”

  She hurried inside the house and left Jackson with his sister. Nothing at all had happened. Nothing would ever happen. Jackson had given her the space she needed to come to her senses.

  He had rejected her. That knowledge settled in her heart where it felt heavy and cold. And she had to go in to lunch with him, sit across the table from him and avoid looking his way.

  Which she could do because she’d always avoided him. She needed to do that for a little longer, and then she would put distance between them. Jade could stay with his family. Madeline could go back to her life. Thanks to Jackson, she could walk away without regret.

  At the moment, thanking him was the last thing she wanted to do.

  Chapter Nine

  After a pretty miserable lunch, Jackson loaded Madeline and Jade back into his truck and drove them to the church where they’d left Madeline’s car a few hours earlier. A five-minute ride felt like five hours with neither of the women in his truck speaking. The younger one seemed to be talked out—finally.

  The older one looked hurt and wounded. Exactly what he hadn’t wanted to happen. He’d been doing his best to protect her and she’d messed that up royally.

  Jackson pulled his truck into the church parking lot, stopping next to Madeline’s sedan. Jade dozed in the seat next to him. Madeline had managed to sit near the door this time. He had thought long and hard about that kiss, about the hurt look on her face when she ran away.

  He couldn’t let her go home thinking this was about her. The woman who hid behind big sweaters and glasses needed to understand that he hadn’t rejected her because of her.

  But when would he tell her, and what would he say? Nothing for now, not in front of Jade. Not in the church parking lot when he would be driving home and she’d go back to her house.

  “Jade, climb on in Madeline’s car. I’ll follow you back to your house.” He nudged the sleeping teenager.

  “We’ll be fine.” Madeline opened the truck door. “I’ll bring Jade to your house in the morning before I go to work.”

  “I know I don’t have to follow you, but I’m going to. We need to talk.”

  Madeline moved for Jade to get out of the truck. “We don’t need to talk. Really, I don’t want to talk. I think we’ve said it all.”

  “We actually haven’t said a word and I want to explain.”

  “No, thank you.” She got out and closed the door.

  Jackson watched as she rummaged through her purse for her keys. She had reverted to glasses today and a big brown sweater with a denim skirt. He shook his head as she fumbled, dropped her purse and then opened the car door and tossed it in the back seat. Angry gestures. Mad at him or mad at herself?

  After she drove away Jackson sat there in the parking lot, thinking about a lot of stuff, most of which didn’t make sense. He didn’t need this. His life was fine. He had his ranch. He had his family and friends.

  This church that had always been in his life, he even had that, when he wanted.

  When he wanted? On his schedule, his time?

  Okay, he got that God might not like that idea. So this was all some “jerk you up by the seat of your pants” faith plan? He remembered the chorus of an old hymn his grandmother loved.

  No turning back, no turning back.

  He could argue all day that he kind of liked the old Jackson, the
old life, but God was sending a pretty clear message. No turning back. It set him back on his heels a little, and he took a long time getting back on the road.

  Tomorrow he’d move forward. He’d go to his doctor in Grove.

  He’d try, again, to get hold of Gloria Baker.

  And he’d fix things with Madeline.

  Tonight, though, he’d find a way to get his mind off the crazy twists and turns his life had taken. First he drove past Madeline’s, making sure she and Jade got in the house safely. The porch light burned bright. She’d parked her car under the carport.

  He turned his truck around in her driveway and headed back to town, in the direction of Back Street. He had work to do on the living nativity. Since the horse had thrown him and then Jade showed up, he’d kind of neglected his job of building Bethlehem.

  The front porch light of Dawson Community Center cast a wide arc of light across the front lawn of what had once been his family church. There were a lot of memories tied to this little building. Most were pleasant, some weren’t.

  One that he had mixed feelings about had to do with Jeremy Hightree, his half brother. They’d grown up together, not knowing that they shared the same father. Today they were probably closer than ever. But the relationship was still strained. It took a lot for a guy like Jeremy to let go of pride and resentment. Jackson figured Jeremy had done better than he would have.

  After parking he grabbed tools out of the back of his truck and walked across the lawn to the makeshift buildings. An inn, shops, and on the other side of the lawn, the manger scene. He needed to work on the inn. He strapped a tool belt around his waist and hooked the hammer into the loop.

  “What are you doing here tonight?”

  Jackson turned, smiled at Jeremy and pulled nails out of his mouth so he could talk. “Thought I’d get some work done. I’ve kind of fallen behind on the job.”

  “From what I heard, you fell off a horse. I didn’t expect you for a few more days.”

  “We don’t really have a few days, now do we?”