But she could not, because she did not know him, didnt know all the dark secrets he harbored deep within himself.
Of all the women hed carried to his bed, not one had granted him true affection. The fault could only rest within him.
With one hand, he managed to erase the evidence of his tears. Slowly he lifted his head and met Lydias gaze.
She looked at him with languid eyes, a woman who had been well and truly sated. Yet for all his experience, he had taken her too quickly, too roughly. Hed used none of the finesse or skills hed acquired over the years.
Hed completely lost his head, and all semblance of control.
She bestowed upon him a lovely smile, a smile that he did not deserve. He shook his head slightly. “We should not have done this.
Her smile withered as hurt filled her eyes. “Rhys
“Shh. He combed his fingers through the strands of her hair that lay against her cheek. “You were a virgin. I have compromised you.
“I wanted to be here.
“Be that as it may, the fact that I showed no restraint is unforgivable. And that he continued to show none was disconcerting. Yet here he remained, raised up on his elbows, still cradled within her body, stroking the silky smoothness of her face as though his fingers intended to memorize every aspect of her.
Her smile slowly returned, her eyes growing as warm as her skin where it still touched his.
Lying beneath him, Lydia studied the manner in which his gaze roamed over herwith such tenderness that it caused her heart to ache. He had no reason to chastise himself for his actions when shed never known such joy, such incredible fulfillment.
He was her tormented love, yet she was certain that over time she could help him smile more often, laugh heartily, and enjoy all life offered. Convince him that he was indeed loved and loved deeply.
He eased off her, and the chill of the night crept over her skin. Sitting up, she began gathering her clothes and putting them on, while he did the same with his.
His back was to her. She couldnt resist running her fingers over his shoulders, along his spine. He stilled.
“You are not to worry, he said quietly. “Following my fathers funeral, I shall talk with Grayson and put matters to right.
Joy spiraled through her with the knowledge he would ask for her hand. They would marry and be happy. She would see to it.
Wrapping her arm around his waist, she pressed a kiss between his shoulders. She laid her cheek against his warm skin.
“I dont think you know how happy you make me, she whispered.
Chapter 15
A lady need have no fear of marriage when her affections fall on a gentleman of unblemished reputation.
Miss Westlands Blunders in Behavior Corrected
L ydia knew it was probably unseemly to have a spring to her step when she walked about the manor, strolled in the gardens, and visited the stables. But she could not contain her elation. The grass had never seemed as green, the trees as full of leaves, the birds songs as sweet, and the sky as blue. Everything was vibrantly beautiful.
Rhys loved her. He hadnt spoken the words, but she didnt need them when hed shown her how he felt. Soon he would speak with her stepfather.
As she sat in the sitting area of her bedroom, thumbing through Harpers Bazar and searching for an appropriate wedding gown, she could hardly fathom how quickly her life had changed.
That shed found such a deep love in so short a time was almost unbelievable, and even though she knew the acknowledgment and celebration would have to wait awhile longer, she bounced between euphoria and anxiousness.
Three days had passed since the elder Duke had been laid to rest. The Duchess had immediately packed up her belongings and moved to the dower house, apparently a smaller house on a stretch of land not too far away. Lydia suspected her hasty retreat had come about because she couldnt stand to be in the proximity of Grayson Rhodes and his abhorrent clan.
The Duchess had tolerated them while her husband was alive, but now she was free to do as she would.
Lydia had not been saddened to see her go. The manor seemed more at peace with her absence. Although she would always welcome the Duchess into her home, she wouldnt feel slighted if the woman never accepted an invitation.
“Lyd, when do you think well be going home? Sabrina asked from her place not far from Lydias feet. Despite all the chairs, her sister preferred lying on her stomach on the floor.
“Im sure youll be going home soon, Lydia replied as she studied the lines on the gown that had caught her fancy. She tried to imagine how she would look wearing it into the chapel.
“But youll be coming, too, Sabrina said.
Lydia cursed her careless tongue. She lowered the periodical and met her sisters questioning gaze. “I might decide to stay a little while longer.
“Why?
She couldnt very well announce to her younger sisterbefore Rhys had spoken to her parentsthat she was going to get married. She wondered if shed have time to send for Johnny and Micah. Would she and Rhys be married in London or here?
She had so many questions, but ever since the night shed lost her innocence within Rhyss arms, shed had no opportunity to speak with him. Hed been unavailable for meals. She didnt know exactly where his bedchamber was. Shed been unable to find him in his study or in the library. He never joined her in the morning room or on the croquet lawn or in the garden.
She knew he had many affairs to see to after his fathers death, and she fought not to feel neglected. Soon they would be able to spend every night together wrapped in the cocoon of their love.
“I like England, she told Sabrina, hedging with the truth.
“But you wont stay long, will you?
Forever. She would stay forever.
A quick knock saved her from having to answer. The door opened and her mother strolled in, a hesitant smile on her face. She looked as though she wanted to appear happy, but wasnt altogether certain she was filled with joy.
“Rhys just had a long talk with your father and me, she said.
Lydias heart kicked against her ribs, and she fought to maintain her composure. “And?
“Hes suggested we go to London.
Lydia smiled brightly. “London, she repeated, pleased they would be married there.
“Yes, he thought I would like to visit with my sister, and he seemed to think you attending the balls would facilitate your finding a husband. Lydia, did you tell him that you hoped to find a husband while you were here?
Lydias smile withered and died. “He wants me to go to London to find a husband?
Her mother nodded, obviously as confused as Lydia was. “Since hes in mourning, he, of course, wont be attending any social functions, but he said he could still manage to sponsor you and ensure that you found a good match. I dont understand why he is even proposing such a thing unless youve said something to make him feel that we expect you to marry an aristocrat.
Lydias chest tightened and ached to such a degree, she could barely draw in a breath. Surely her mother had misunderstood what Rhys had told them, had misconstrued his intentions.
“Lydia, what did you tell Rhys? her mother asked.
Lydia shook her head. Shed told him nothing. Shed made love with him. Why was he talking of parading her around London?
“We discussed the Season on occasion, she managed to force through her dry mouth.
Setting her periodical aside, she stood. “He must have misunderstood what I wanted. Do you know where he is?
“We left him in his study.
She nodded, trying to contain the tremors rippling through her. “Ill speak with him.
“Im all for going to London, because I would like to see Elizabeth. Im not against you attending balls while were there, but I simply dont understand why he feels he has an obligation to find you a husband.
“Yes, well, I dont understand his reasoning either, but Im certain before the afternoon is over that Ill get to the bottom of this misunderstanding. She str
ode from the room, her thoughts as scattered as autumn leaves by the first breath of winter.
What he was proposing was preposterous! She wanted to marry him , not someone she met at a ball in London. Maybe he wanted to give her a Season and then ask for her hand in marriage. Yes, surely that was it. He wanted her to experience London without being tethered to him in the beginning.
She hurried down the stairs. Yes, yes, that had to be the basis for his suggestion. It was entirely inappropriate for them to become betrothed so soon after his fathers death. Taking her to London was a gift. He didnt really plan to act as her sponsor and find her a husband.
Not when shed already shown him with her words and her body how deeply she loved him.
Arriving at the entrance hall, she turned toward his study. Her heels clicked impressively over the marble, beating out a steady tattoo that seemed to echo like drums during a battle. Only she and Rhys werent at war. They were simply not communicating very well.
The young footman standing guard outside the study did not move to open the door as she approached. Instead he simply bowed his head slightly.
“His Grace has indicated he has no wish to be disturbed, while he works on his ledgers, he informed her.
“His Grace can go to hell.
The footmans eyes nearly popped out of his head.
Lydia reached for the door handle, and he grabbed her wrist. She glared at him, and his cheeks flamed red.
“Miss Westland, I must insist you not disturb His Grace.
She considered making a scene, but it wasnt this poor mans fault his master had suddenly lost his senses. Instead she gathered her dignity around her like a tattered cloak, spun on her heel, and marched down the hallway.
Rhys had to have known she would have questions about their trip to London. That he would instruct his man to forbid her from seeing him was unconscionable.
Stepping into the garden, she began trudging toward the other side of the house, her temper heating with each stride she took. Until this moment, it had never occurred to her that hed actually been avoiding her. Shed given him the benefit of the doubt and assumed his duties in regard to the estate had kept him away. She was no longer so sure.
She recognized the glass doors through which hed once emerged to join her in a game of croquet. If they were locked, shed grab a mallet and break them.
Shed worked herself into a fine fury by the time she tried the door. That it opened with a resounding squeak of its hinges should have calmed her somewhat. Instead it only served to ignite her temper further.
She entered the room and glared at the man who sat behind the desk, continuing to scribble something across his ledger, ignoring her in the process.
“Did you really think you could keep me out? she demanded.
His head came up abruptly as though he was only now aware of her presence. He set his pen aside, leaned back in his chair, and sighed. “No, I suppose I didnt.
As he stood, he grandly swept his hand over his desk, indicating one of the chairs opposite him. “Please, come in and sit down.
She shut the door and did walk in, but she had no intention of discussing this situation while sitting.
“My mother tells me that were going to London.
“It is a favorable market for husband hunting.
“And you think I need to hunt for a husband?
He looked away momentarily, while she fought to stop shaking. He could not be this dispassionate. Not after all theyd shared, all shed given him.
“Ive compromised you, and as I stated before, I intend to set the matter to rights.
His cold words caused shards of ice to form around her heart.
“I thought youd intended to ask my stepfather for my hand in marriage.
“Then you misconstrued my meaning.
Misconstrued his meaning? Hed held her tightly, with their naked bodies entwined. Hed wept. What was there to misconstrue?
“In your mind, finding me a suitable husband will set matters to right?
“Indeed.
“You think a man is going to be content with soiled goods?
He blanched. “I doubt during the heat of passion he will notice you are not virginal.
“You noticed that I was.
“I shall bestow upon you a dowry the likes of which will make him not care.
She spun around with a heavy weight pressing on her heart, her chest tightening until she thought it would cave in on her, and her pulse racing. She pressed a trembling hand to the lips hed kissed voraciously. “Youre selling me.
“I am attempting to right a wrong I did you.
She turned around and stared at him, this man she thought shed known. “Why are you doing this? Dont you feel anything for me?
She watched the muscles of his throat work as he swallowed.
“I feel everything for you, he rasped.
She took a step closer. “Then why?
“You want the glitter and lights of London. I have done things that are best kept hidden in the dark.
“What things?
He slowly shook his head. “Not even for you will I give voice to my sins.
“What if I said I dont care what they are? I forgive you for them without knowing any of your sins. My love for you is that strong, Rhys.
“No love is strong enough for this.
She flattened her palms on his desk and leaned toward him. “Mine is. We wont go to London. I wont enjoy the Season. It was just a dream
“That you shall have. It is all I can give you, for I will never give you marriage.
“What if Im with child?
The blood in his face quickly drained away, and he dropped his gaze to her stomach. “We shall pray you are not.
He might as well have stabbed a rusty bayonet through her chest. She shoved herself back from his desk and straightened her shoulders.
“It seems, Your Grace, I have made a grave error in judgment. I welcome your generosity in offering to sponsor me while Im in London. I shall persevere to make you proud. As for a dowry, my father is fully capable of providing for me. I wont have you further cheapen what passed between us by offering to pay she spat the word, not bothering to disguise her disgust with his proposal“for me.
Rhys watched her walk across the room with a regal bearing that would have done a queen proud. She flung open the door and marched through it without looking back.
With mouth agape, obviously confused as to how someone who had not come through his door was now exiting from it, his footman peered into the room. “Your Grace, Im dreadfully sorry
Rhys held up a hand. “Just close the door.
When it was shut tightly, he sank into his chair. Tremors racked his body as he fought to keep himself from calling her back. Letting her walk out of this room, out of his sight, had been the hardest thing hed ever done in his life. Unfortunately, he feared this moment was only the harbinger of his torment to come.
Chapter 16
S tanding on the steps leading into the manor, Rhys watched while the coaches on the cobbled drive were readied for their journey to London. He would travel in the first one alone. Graysons family would be in the one behind his. The servants hed brought with him from London would follow in the third and fourth.
Theyd never set foot in his familys London residence, but then it had been some time since he had as well. While in London in recent years, hed stayed in a house Camilla had provided for him. Smaller than her residence, of course, but still part of her deceased husbands holdings. He hoped he could arrive in London quietly and avoid being forced to call on her or anyone else of rank.
He was certain curiosity would abound regarding the new Duke of Harrington, but other peers eluded the glitz and glamour of Londons social scene. He would not be the first reclusive lord, nor did he expect hed be the last.
He heard the heavy front door behind him open. He glanced over his shoulder to see Graysons little chatterbox leading the way, incredibly animated. He could not imagine trying to keep
up with her energy.
Grayson and his wife were doing their best to calm Sabrina and answer all the questions she was popping off about their trip to London. Colton seemed unimpressed with the whole affair. Rhys could certainly relate to that sentiment. Hed rather not go himself, but he wanted to ensure Lydia chose a bit more wisely in London than she had here.
Lydias soft voice wafted through the front opening as she thanked the servants for the care and attention theyd given her while she was in attendance. He stiffened, greedily anticipating the sight of her. Hed made an excuse to avoid dining with them each night since his fathers passing. If only hed heeded his own counsel and avoided her since shed arrived, he would not now find himself in a position of feeling as though he needed to be her benefactor.
Then she glided through the doorway and regret slammed into him with such force that it caused him to take a step back.
She wore a traveling outfit of violet that deepened the hue of her eyes. The innocent young woman who had stumbled over her introduction to him looked to be a woman with a purpose, no longer nave. No longer a dreamer.
But a woman who had been slapped in the face by harsh reality.
She angled her chin haughtily. “Your Grace, it was so kind of you to arrange our journey to London.
“It was the least I could do, Miss Westland.
She gave him a pointed look that clearly conveyed she thought there was a great deal more he could do.
“Your Grace? Your Grace?
He glanced down at the urchin tugging on his sleeve, taking his attention away from the beauty who would soon grace only his memories. “Yes?
“How long will it take? Sabrina asked.
“We will travel for most of the day. This evening we shall stay in an inn. Then tomorrow well again travel for most of the day. By tomorrow afternoon, well be in London.
Colton groaned and dropped his head back as though someone had cracked a whip across his back.
“Colton, behave, Abbie scolded.
“But two long days inside the coach listening to Lyd ohing and ahing everything she sees and Sabrina asking how much longer is enough to drive anyone crazy, the boy grumbled.
Love With a Scandalous Lord Page 16