Take Me Home KO PL

by Barbara Freethy

  She gazed into his eyes. "What?"

  "It's going to be okay."

  "You don't know that, Max. It's easy to say we're all we need, but I don't know if I truly feel that way."

  Darkness filled his eyes, and she felt like she'd hurt him with her words, which was the last thing she'd wanted to do. "I don't mean that you're not enough, Max; I just think we both really want a family and not being able to have one is something we might have to address."

  "We'll address it if and when we absolutely have to, but your doctor said it's okay to start trying again whenever you want, so you tell me when you're ready."

  She wanted to say she was ready right now, but as much as she wanted a child, at least when she wasn't trying to get pregnant, she didn't have to face the disappointment of not having it happen or having it happen only to end up losing the baby before it even felt real.

  Letting out a sigh, she said, "I feel cowardly right now, like I don't want to test myself again, at least not yet."

  "There's no hurry. We have plenty of time."

  "I know. I need to stop trying to rush this."

  "I agree." He paused. "You're not going to relax and enjoy breakfast until you read your letter. So why don't you do that? Maybe the letter will explain the mysterious small jewelry box that your grandmother asked us to put in our luggage."

  "You're right. I forgot about that." She'd been instructed not to open the jewelry box but to await instructions on where to deliver it. She felt infinitely better at the thought of reading the letter now. She pushed back her chair and stood up. "I'll be back."

  "You can't read it here?" he queried.

  "I'll just be a minute." She knew she was driving Max a little crazy, but she needed a moment to herself. "If Burke and Maddie get here before I come back, feel free to order me some eggs."

  "Will do," he said.

  She left the dining room and walked outside to the patio. Sitting down at an empty table, she drew in a deep breath of crisp, clear Irish air and then looked down at the envelope in her hand.

  "Go easy on me, Grandma," she whispered.

  She pulled out the letter, the sight of her grandmother's handwriting instantly making her feel better. It was nice that her grandmother could still write notes on her good days.

  My dearest Emma,

  The day your mother brought you and your sister into our family was one of the happiest days of my life. You've always been worried that you aren't really a Callaway. Well, you may not have been born a Callaway, but you embody all of our family ideals: strength, courage, love, kindness, and generosity.

  You are the glue that will hold the next generation of Callaways together. Your heart will be the heart of our family. I have already seen it happen—not just with your siblings but also with your cousins. I want you to know that I am so proud of the woman you have become. And don't forget—I wasn't born a Callaway, either. I was born a Rafferty.

  The Raffertys are hearty, loving, hard-working people. On this trip, I also want you to meet Maeve. She was and still is my best friend and the sister of my heart. I want you to take her the box I gave to you. She's been ill, and I hope a visit from you and a sentiment from the past will bring a smile to her face.

  In recent weeks, I've been worrying about you, Emma. I know it often looks like I don't understand or that I'm unaware of what's going on, but when it comes to my family, I sometimes pick up on things that you might not realize. I know you've been struggling with your own family plans, and I wish I could reassure you and promise you everything will be all right. I can't do that, but I can say that I know you will make everything right in your own fashion, because you are a fighter. You don't settle for less than you want. And, like me, you believe in the impossible. I hope the magic and love of Ireland will put the sparkle back in your eyes.

  The life we plan isn't always the life we get, but it's usually the life we were meant to lead. Someday you'll know what that means, hopefully before you're as old as I am.

  Forever love, Grandma

  Emma's eyes blurred with tears as she set the letter down. Her grandmother knew her so well, but it wasn't just her understanding that made her feel so emotional; it was her grandmother's belief in her heart, her ability to be strong, to lead the family through the next few generations.

  While she was touched and honored, she was also overwhelmed. Her grandmother was asking a lot of her, and she was kind of surprised that she'd been singled out. Why not her older sister, Nicole? Or even Burke? As her oldest sibling, he'd always been the leader of the family.

  But the leader wasn't always the heart and that was apparently her role.

  How could she lead the family when her heart was breaking?

  By finding a way to make things right—just the way her grandmother had said.

  She didn't know exactly how to achieve that, but some day maybe she would. It was strange, because for a long time her career had been the most important thing in her life. She'd fought hard to be accepted as a female firefighter and then as an arson investigator. Her job had always been her focus. She hadn't worried about marriage or children until she'd had two miscarriages. Now the thought of a life without children consumed her.

  Maybe the life she'd planned wasn't the life she was meant to live. Or maybe her grandmother was right when she'd said that she'd find a way to make the impossible possible.

  When she returned to the dining room, she found Burke and Maddie having breakfast with Max. Her oldest brother looked better than he had the day before. More energized. More eager. It was nice to see.

  As she sat down, Max said, "Well?"

  "It's all good. Did you order for me?"

  "I did, but I asked the waitress not to bring your food until you were back. I didn't want it to get cold."

  "Thanks."

  "So, what's going on?" Burke asked, as he shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth with more enthusiasm for eating than she'd seen from him in a while. "Max gave me a letter and told me you were reading yours. What was in it?"

  "Grandma wants me to take the box she gave me to her friend Maeve. Maeve apparently lives in the house where Grandma grew up."

  "Sounds good," Burke said. "But did she need a personal letter to tell you that?"

  "What else was in the letter?" Max asked, both men giving her a speculative look.

  "She said some other stuff about how she wanted me to know the Rafferty side of the family. Because I'm not a blood Callaway, she wanted me to understand that she wasn't, either. Once upon a time she was Eleanor Rafferty," she replied.

  "Do you really feel like you're not a Callaway?" Burke asked in surprise. "I barely remember that you had another name, another father. You've always been my sister."

  "Except I sometimes went to visit my real dad and his side of the family," she reminded him.

  "I guess I didn't pay much attention to that," Burke admitted. "When did you last see your dad?"

  "It's been four or five years now. He lives in Europe. I get the occasional email or text, but he didn't even bother to come to my wedding, so…"

  "Do you miss him?" Maddie asked curiously.

  "I don't really think about him. To be honest, Jack has always been my dad. He was the one who was there for me throughout my childhood. He was the one who walked me down the aisle." She paused. "Nicole talks to our father more than I do. They have their love of history and literature and art in common. He and I have nothing to talk about."

  "You're definitely all Callaway when it comes to firefighting," Burke said. "I remember how hard you fought to become a firefighter. And Dad didn't always want you to be one, either."

  She smiled. "That's true. He wanted his sons to follow in his path, not his daughters."

  "But you showed him how good you were. You showed everyone," he said with an admiring nod.

  "I did." She sat back as the waitress brought her food. She took a bite of her eggs, then said, "You seem in a better mood today, Burke."

  "I got some re
st," he said vaguely.

  Maddie laughed at his words. "Is that what you want to call it?"

  Emma smiled as Burke and Maddie exchanged an intimate look. She'd always been in awe of how Maddie could unwind Burke's tension with a simple word or smile. They were definitely a good match.

  "So," she said, clearing her throat. "I have my plan for the day. Ian is off to some university to meet a professor. That leaves you, Burke. What does Grandma have in store for you?"

  Burke shrugged. "I'll open my note after breakfast."

  "It's not going to be good-bye if that's what you're worried about," Emma said, seeing his hesitation.

  "I'm not worried about it." He pulled out his phone and glanced at the screen.

  "Is someone texting you?" she asked curiously.

  "No. I'm checking my email. I'm expecting some news on the start of my rehab, but it hasn't come yet. Aiden sent out a group email. His baby just smiled for the first time." Burke shook his head in mock disgust. "I never expected my rebel brother to turn into such a family man."

  He handed her his phone so she could see the sweet family shot of her brother Aiden, his wife Sara, their almost-three-year-old daughter Chloe, and their three-month-old son Blain.

  "So cute," she said, her heart squeezing tight at the family shot. She and Sara had been friends long before Sara and Aiden had gotten together, and she could hardly believe her high school pal was now a mom with two kids. Her sister Nicole also had two children. Her brother Drew and his wife Ria now had a six-month-old daughter Alexa. And, of course, Jessica and Sean were raising Kyle. The family was definitely growing.

  As she handed Maddie the phone so she could take a look at the photo, she couldn't help wondering when Burke and Maddie might have a family. Maybe they were already trying. Burke would make a great dad. He'd fathered all of his siblings for most of his life.

  "Very sweet," Maddie said with a mischievous smile as she handed the phone to her husband. "Gives me some ideas, honey."

  Burke smiled back at her. "You always have ideas."

  "Mostly good ones."

  "Mostly," he agreed, with a laugh.

  Emma was happy to see their renewed connection. On the trip over, Maddie and Burke had seemed a little distant with each other, and she'd thought that had something to do with Burke's anxiety about his future. Maybe they were already experiencing a little Irish magic.

  Soon, she hoped, it would be her turn to feel the magic.

  * * *

  "You should read your letter, Burke," Maddie said, as the waiter cleared their plates, and Emma and Max headed up to their room. "I'm going upstairs."

  "You don't want me to read it out loud?" he asked.

  She smiled. "Of course I do, but it's clear to me that you want privacy or you would have opened it a long time ago. So I'll leave you to it."

  "You don't have to go."

  "But I will," she said, knowing him a little too well.

  As Maddie got up from the table, he picked up the envelope and stared at his name. He didn't know why he was reluctant to open it. He'd never been one to pull off a bandage slowly or go into a pool one step at a time. He jumped in. He preferred truth to uncertainty, no matter how difficult the truth might be, but for some reason his grandmother's letter had made him hesitate longer than he normally would have.

  His life had been upside down the past month. He wasn't sure he needed more complications but it was time to find out what she had in store for him.

  My dearest Burke,

  You are my first grandchild. I remember when you were born, how exciting it was for your father and grandfather to know that there would be another Callaway to carry on the family name. It took me a while to realize that their excitement put a tremendous burden on you.

  Over the years, you have always risen to every challenge, every high expectation, and you set a very high bar for your siblings and cousins to follow. You are an amazing man, Burke, and I hope you know how much love and pride your grandfather and I have in you.

  I know the past several weeks have been very difficult for you. But I think one day you may look back and realize that life is not always about work and career, about testing your mettle or living up to a family name. Sometimes we need quiet and we need play to realize our true selves, to see where we fit in the world.

  The Irish have many sayings, but one of my favorite proverbs is this: The future is not set; there is no fate but what we make for ourselves.

  What you make of your life will be magnificent, whatever it is. But you can't truly be a man until you've been a boy, and I don't think you were ever really a boy.

  So on this trip, I want you to play the way I did as a young girl roaming the hills of Ireland. You already have the best partner in the world, the wonderful Maddie. But you need to step away from the work and remember what it feels like to run and to laugh.

  I can almost see you rolling your eyes as you read this. I'm sure you're thinking that you don't have time for any of this. But I would love it if you would humor your grandma for this one day.

  Your journey starts with a stop at the front desk, where you'll get another envelope.

  Have fun Burke. And take photos. I can't wait to hear about your adventure.

  Forever love, Grandma

  Burke set down the letter feeling a mix of emotions. His grandmother had nailed him. He hadn't realized she'd known him so well. Like she said, he'd skipped over the lazy days of childhood pretty quickly. It wasn't just being the first one born; it was also losing his mom, having to watch over his siblings, and then helping to unify the family when Emma and Nicole and their mother had come on board.

  Then it had been school and work and firefighting—one goal after another.

  But today he was going to be forced to slow down, to look around, and to apparently follow some crazy plan of his grandmother's.

  Getting up from the table, he walked out of the dining room and stopped at the front desk. "My grandmother said I need to talk to you."

  Moira Kelly gave him a smile and then pulled out another envelope from behind the desk as well as a set of keys.

  "What are these for?" Burke asked.

  "Car keys. I'm lending you my car for the day."

  "Really?"

  She nodded. "Yes, your grandmother set everything up."

  "Set what up?"

  "I'm sure all the information you need is inside that envelope."

  Looking at what was written on the outside of the envelope made him wonder what the hell his grandmother was up to. But he didn't open it. He took it back to the room. Maddie was going to want to be in on this.

  When he entered their room a few moments later, Maddie gave him an expectant and somewhat wary smile. Her concern reminded him how moody he'd been lately and probably not that fun to be around. Maybe Maddie needed this day off as much as he did.

  "Well?" she asked.

  "Grandma doesn't think I was ever a boy."

  "What?"

  "She thinks I carry the family expectations too heavily, and that I don't remember what it's like to have fun."

  Maddie didn't look surprised by his words. "You're not all work…but…"

  "But lately…"

  She nodded. "It's been a little rough. So what are we doing today?"

  "We've been given a car for an adventure." He turned the envelope around so she could see what his grandmother had written. "Read this."

  "Burke and Maddie Go on a Treasure Hunt," Maddie said with a laugh. "Really? I wonder what the treasure is."

  "Maybe a pot of gold or a leprechaun. Who knows? We're in Ireland."

  "And we're going to do this?"

  "As crazy as it sounds—yes."

  Four

  It was just like her grandmother's story, Emma thought, as Max drove down a narrow road through thick patches of trees, past lush green fields, to a stone cottage that had been built more than two hundred years earlier. The home that her grandmother had grown up in, and the house where her be
st friend Maeve now lived, was only six miles out of town but felt very much farther. It was isolated on a small incline, surrounded by towering trees and wild, overgrown gardens.

  She got out of the car and closed the door, pausing for a moment to take it all in.

  "This is where it began for Grandma," she said as Max came around the front of the car. "And it's just as she described. I wish Burke and Ian were here to see the house with us. It's strange that she sent us off in three different directions."

  "It's a short trip. She wanted each of you to see the place that would mean the most to you. And I guess for you that's the family home."

  "That's true. I'm far more interested in the history of the family than either Burke or Ian. I guess it makes sense that she would send me here. She said in my letter that she thinks I'll be the one to keep the family together through the next generation. I don't know what kind of power she thinks I have, but…"

  "Of course you'll be the one to keep the family together. You're already the one everyone turns to first. How many times have I come home to find you serving up tea and commiseration to one of your siblings or cousins? And it's not just personal help you offer. You've kept a few of them out of some trouble. Maybe even saved a few lives."

  "I don't know if I'd go that far, but thanks."

  He gazed back at her. "I'm just speaking the truth. When we first met, you blew me away with your passion for your job, for life, for your family. And there hasn't been a day that goes by that I've been any less impressed by you."

  A tear entered her eye. "That's really sweet, Max."

  "I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you."

  "I don't think I tell you enough, either."

  "So we'll do better."

  She nodded, dabbing the moistness out of her eyes. "I'd like that. I know I've been an emotional basket case lately, but I'll get better."

  "I have no doubt. You're all heart, Emma, and that's what makes you special, what makes you who you are. You feel things deeply. And family is very important to you."

  "It is. Before my mom married Jack, life was kind of dark and sad. It was my mom and me and Nicole, and we tried to be happy together, but there was always this black cloud over us. When my parents got divorced, it was a relief to me. I didn't really miss my dad, because I never felt like he was there even when he was present."