"You are so different. It was the right thing to do, when you left. It was the right thing for both of us. I don't know what it was, that connection we had, but it was insane," he said, trying to make light of it, and making her giggle in the process at the tone of his voice.
That was a sound he had not heard in so long, and he looked at her, remembering how she had been when he had first met her.
"I'm sorry I wasn't good for you…"
"No, Lincoln, I do think that you were meant to pass through my life. That time with you did give me an inner strength that I never had before I met you, and I feel like a stronger person now. I feel like a better person," she said and smiled at him. "For the very first time in my life, I feel normal."
Lincoln laughed out loud, still wiping his eyes.
~~~~~
From the distance, Anthony and Hannah both heard the laugh and turned their view to that direction. Inside, Anthony was fuming, and Hannah could see it.
"It is easy to see how much you love her, Anthony. What has you so upset that they are talking?"
He turned to her - this woman he didn't even know, but who instantly inspired a level of trustworthiness in him.
"The things she did … the way she was the day I met her - I will never forget that, Hannah! She would go into trances and not know where she was or who she was with … she was really screwed up. It was one of the scariest things I'd ever seen…"
"Then she is very lucky that you found her."
He heard the comment but did not reply further, instead resuming his stare to the people he did not like seeing together.
~~~~~
"It is good to get to talk to you like this, Alexis. We didn't talk enough, and I am sorry for that. You might think that an old man like me might not still have hormones running through his body, but my God, when I was with you!" he said with a lighthearted tone in his voice and she giggled again.
"But to answer your earlier question, yes I have support. It may not sound very professional, but my personal assistant, Hannah, has been there for me throughout this, right from the day that Diana died," he said and Alexis saw a tear threaten once more. "She is a good friend. And that is what I need right now - just a really good friend." He paused and turned his hand so he was now holding hers before continuing. "I lost control when I met you, and I wish I could go back and start over, with the ability to maintain my head during our time together, but of course I can't. I just hope that you know … that you believe … that I only wish the best for you, Alexis, and I really am so very, very sorry."
Alexis watched him begin to cry openly but she held back her natural instinct to lean in and pull him close to her.
"Lincoln, I am fine. And you will be fine too."
He nodded at her, not feeling any of the desperation he had with regard to her in the past, but also not wanting this time to end too soon.
"She was pregnant when she died, Alexis," he said and saw surprise on her face. "We had been married for twenty years and she had always wanted to have a baby but it never happened … and then it did happen, but it is too late…"
She could see that he was finding it more and more difficult to hold back his desire to let his emotions loose and sob.
"How could she fall pregnant and then this happen? I don't understand how that could be. It just seems so cruel," he continued, now visibly crying in front of her.
"Oh, Lincoln, I'm so sorry."
She watched him for several minutes as he seemed determined to gather himself together. He had already aged over their time together, and then afterward, but now she noticed he had aged again, and he saw her really looking at him.
"Do you see an old man now, Alexis?" he asked her and she shook her head.
"No, I see a very attractive man who is suffering. You are not old, Lincoln - I never considered you old. And I think you have so much to offer the right person."
"Thank you," he responded, squeezing her hand tightly. "But I want to make things right with you. What can I do to make things right?"
"Lincoln, there is nothing you need to do. Move forward and try to find happiness - find the right balance," Alexis said and saw him nod while looking intently into her eyes. "And I have not forgotten that you gave me all that money…"
On his face she saw confusion then.
"What money?"
"The money that was deposited into my account…" Alexis said and felt confusion herself at the level of confusion that he had on his face. "Lincoln, did you not deposit $15,000 into my bank account a while back?"
Lincoln shook his head, not having any idea what she was talking about.
"No, I never put any money into your account, Alexis."
"But the bank said the deposit came from Sunshine Supermarkets…"
Lincoln pulled back his hand suddenly from hers.
"What?" he asked and seemed to instantly go white.
"Is that not one of your companies, Lincoln? I thought it was you…"
He had a look of horror on his face.
"No!" he breathed out heavily. "No, Alexis, Sunshine is under my umbrella but I wasn't the one who had controlling power over that business. That was … I gave control of that business as a gift … to Diana," he continued and they looked at each other with a reflection look of surprise and uncertainty. "She must have … no, why would she do that? She didn't even know where you were…"
"Yes she did," Alexis replied to him, causing him to look even more confused. "Yes, Lincoln, she came to see me at my work."
"What?"
"Diana came to see me at my work. She approached me and made herself known to me."
"I don't understand. She never said anything…" he stopped and she could see his thought processes working quickly. "What did she say to you?"
"She told me who she was, and she said she was thankful to me for being there for you so that you did not have to ask her to … do … those things. I thought she must have been angry at me, but she seemed to have a look of true sincerity on her face when she said it. Lincoln, you are not really saying that Diana deposited that money into my account…"
Lincoln's mind was working furiously. It didn't make any sense. Nothing made sense.
"What else could it be? You weren't owed that much by the supermarket when you left?"
She laughed quietly at that idea.
"No that would not be possible, Lincoln. I hardly earned $15,000 in a year there - there is no way they would pay that to me when I left."
Lincoln was quiet for some time, just looking at her face while his thinking continued.
"She must have really wanted you to have it, Alexis - she must have been sincere. It would not make any sense for her to give you such an amount otherwise. Diana wasn't fickle with cash, and she would never have used company money so easily if it weren't for something she felt strongly about."
Alexis watched his face and saw him seem to become resolved in the culmination of his analysis.
"Oh Alexis," he said finally, sound so very, very tired all of a sudden. "Sometimes I feel like I don't know myself … like I'm a stranger in my own skin. All the things I put you through … and all the things I put her through … I don't know when I became such a person to treat people like this."
He looked up at her after several minutes of silence.
"The past can't be changed, Lincoln. We learn from it and we move on to do things differently … better … from now on."
"You are so mature for your age," he said quietly. "Your soul is much older than your years, Alexis. Are you truly happy, where you are now?"
Alexis smiled at him softly.
"I am. I am happy, Lincoln. And I don't regret my time with you because if I had not had that, I would not be where I am right now. It was always meant to be - our time together - even if it was not meant to last."
He nodded at her and suddenly felt the time was right to end the conversation. He had nothing more he had to say to her. He had voiced his thoughts and she had listened. S
he said she did not need his forgiveness or anything else from him to make things right. It was time to truly say goodbye to her now … completely.
She saw him stand up, and she stood up beside him.
"You are right. With you I found a side to me that I didn't like, and I don't want to see again, but through that I have learned a bit more about myself, and that will help me to find where I am supposed to be, I am sure." He paused and then spoke again, all the while knowing she was looking at his face intently. "I am glad you are happy, Alexis. If you need anything from me in the future, please do let me know. I know I put you through hell, but I am here as a friend if you need me."
Alexis saw the tears begin in his eyes, even though he tried hard to keep them away, and she moved tentatively toward him and he welcomed her as he held out his arms and wrapped them around her. The stood together, holding each other tightly, and for the first time in doing so, they were both aware that there was absolutely no indication of arousal on him for her. It was something that should not have been noticed in such a time, but was. And it was a good sign that everything was absolutely finished. Whatever craziness they had shared together before - the animal attraction or whatever crazy thing it had been - was gone, and happily so.
Lincoln pulled back from her.
"I should find Hannah. I don't know where she has got to," he said as he started to look around, and finally saw her. "Oh, she is with your…"
"Anthony," Alexis finished for him, also seeing the two people in question sitting together, watching. She purposely did not ask - or even ponder - how he already knew who Anthony was and what he looked like.
"Yes, Anthony," he said and looked back at her. "Keep moving forward in your life, Alexis. Enjoy your time with him as it can be so short."
She nodded at him and moved away, him walking behind her without any thought whatsoever to all the times he had forced her to walk behind him … to follow him.
~~~~~
Anthony saw the two of them start to walk toward him and Hannah, and he stood up to receive them, not knowing what to expect when he came face to face with the force of nature that was Lincoln Kokiri.
He felt Hannah stand up beside him, also in anticipation, but he was not prepared for what followed.
Lincoln walked up to Anthony, standing right before him, and held out his hand.
"You are good for her, I know, Anthony. Make sure that you continue to deserve her. Don't ever take her for granted."
All four of them knew that the words could have been taken as a threat, made from Lincoln to Anthony, but they weren't, and Anthony knew it. He knew it because in that moment the two men were in a similar position, both having lost loved ones suddenly and without any warning.
Anthony held out his hand and shook the one before him.
"I am sorry for your loss, Mr Kokiri," he said, not wanting to be on a first name basis with such a powerful man.
"Thank you," Lincoln said, now ready to leave. "Hannah, please meet Lexi … Alexis."
Alexis held out her hand and squeezed that of the older woman in front of her, both of them recognising a certain, similar strength in each other, and an instant liking for each other.
"Take care of him," Alexis leaned in and whispered to Hannah, and saw her quietly nod and smile in recognition.
Then Alexis reached out and took Anthony's hand, and the two of them walked away, that chapter finally completely behind them.
Anthony said nothing to her as they left the art gallery and made their way back to the hotel. He could tell she was deep in thought, and did not want to invade her thinking, and his own mind was working overtime. When they had left the hotel earlier that evening he had just wanted to see her face when she saw the large photograph of him, which he had known was going to be there. He had in no way anticipated running into that man, and her being confronted with memories of her time with him, and yet he felt somewhat responsible for putting her through such emotional turmoil over the past couple of hours, even though that made no sense.
They walked into their hotel room and when the door was closed, she put her arms around him and held him tightly to her.
"Thank you for giving me that time with him, Anthony. I know it must have been difficult for you to watch…"
"It was," he responded, only wanting to be completely honest and not hide anything from her. "Hannah guided me to stay back and let the two of you speak. It really wasn't me…"
"No matter what she said, you could have come and stood between us, and prevented us from talking. But you didn't … so it was you. And I thank you for that, because he needed to talk to me, and I needed to listen to him. Now you and I can relax with full belief that I really am free, Anthony. I know we haven't had any reason to believe otherwise lately anyway, but it has still been there, in my mind … wondering if he had yet given up."
He looked at her and nodded.
"Yes, I know."
She looked at him intensely and let thoughts of Lincoln flow out of her, to be placed in a box in her mind and simply forgotten now.
"Want to have a spa now?" she asked with a hint of suggestion in her eyes, and he laughed as she instantly relaxed him.
"Oh, yes I do," he replied, smiling broadly at her and then kissing her deeply, fully intending to begin their night of pleasure in the beautiful hotel room they were in.
~~~~~
The next morning Anthony woke up to the feeling of kisses on the back of his neck, and he reached back and pulled her closer into his back, and felt her arm wrap over and around him to hold him tight to her.
"I know what you need," he said to her with a sound of suggestive amusement in his voice.
"Oh really?" she teased him back. "And what would that be?"
He turned over and kissed her deeply, before pulling back and smiling.
"Breakfast in bed," he said, laughing loudly at her surprise. "Grab that room service menu and let's order everything."
Alexis laughed at him but obliged as her tummy growled loudly, making him laugh even louder. How well he knew her body now!
They ate together and stayed in the room until their 10am checkout, enjoying the spa and the bed again, until the very last minute when they would have to leave.
Before walking out Alexis put her arms around him and rested there for a minute.
"Thank you, Anthony. This has been wonderful."
"Our time here isn't done yet, Allie. Our train doesn't leave until 5pm so we have all day, just about," he said and saw her smile in surprise. "We have things to do yet!"
~~~~~
They left the hotel and she did not ask him anything about his plans, leaving it up to him what they would do. Walking along the riverfront, she was reminded of the night that they went to the restaurant in her town, and the level of passion she had felt with him when they had kissed. She was so caught up in those thoughts that she had hardly noticed they were approaching a docking area of a large boat. It was only when she was walking up a gangway that she realised what was happening.
"Anthony, what…"
He smiled brilliant at her and held her hand up to his mouth to kiss it.
"A cruise down the river, Allie!" he said to her and saw excitement on her face.
"I've never been on a boat," she said quietly, in wonder.
"I know, you told me that a while ago," he replied and smiled at her as they found somewhere to sit quietly on the boat.
Alexis leaned over to him and kissed him and he revelled in the feeling. Even taking into consideration the oddness of the night before, with her having seen that man, he knew that this was right. He knew he was ready to take another step with her.
As the boat moved, Alexis found herself immersed in the feeling of the movement on the water - something she had never felt before - and he enjoyed watching her face.
When they were underway he took her hand and kissed it, looking at her so intently that she felt like she could melt into him.
"Allie," he started, and then kn
elt down before her and pulled out a small box. "Allie," he began again, and she saw a blush flow over him. "Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?"
Alexis felt surprised … shocked … stunned into silence … and for a moment he thought he had made a mistake and misread everything. But then he saw her smile softly at him and slowly nod.
"Yes, Anthony," she said, leaning down and kissing him deeply as he continued to kneel before her. "Yes I would very much like to be your wife."
He smiled at her, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, as he nervously pulled the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her wedding finger. He then kissed her back, while slowly raising himself up and pulling her up so they were both standing.
Around them someone must have seen the action, as they became aware all of a sudden of people clapping, and when they looked around they were surprised to see people looking right at them as they did so.
Alexis laughed and resumed kissing him, not worrying at all about the crowd they had attracted.
10 ~ THE FINAL CHAPTER
Alexis felt like a princess in her dress of flowing emerald green silk. It wasn't traditional, she knew, but she had seen the fabric in a local store when out shopping with Samantha, and it had immediately captured her attention. Of course it probably should have been a fabric used for a bridesmaid's dress, but she didn't care. Samantha had taken so much care in designing it and sewing it for her, and she loved it. It was her ultimate choice of dress for her ultimate day.
Samantha stood with her, laughing in excitement at the development of her being a bridesmaid for the first time in her life. Looking at Alexis, she felt thankful for having met such a good friend over the past year, but at the same time she felt great pride in the dress that Alexis wore. Samantha was only beginning to find her way as a designer, but this dress would help to establish her.
"Oh my gosh, this is so exciting!" she kept saying, jumping up and down and clapping her hands as if she were a child at Christmas time.
Alexis laughed at her. They had only found each other as friends fairly recently but in the time she had known her, Samantha had proven to be an easy going, fun and trustworthy friend who Alexis had come to trust completely. She still did not fully understand the relationship between Samantha and Tom - to her it seemed like they were meant to be together - but she respected it and no longer tried to nudge the two of them together.
Darkness of Heart (Painful Deliverance Book 2) Page 14