"Come on, you two!" Alexis heard Tom say as his head popped around the door. "Wow," he then said, seeing the two of them. "I am in heaven, getting to walk beside the two of you."
They laughed at him, knowing he was right. Alexis would have no traditional person walking down her down the aisle but in recent months Tom had earned a place as Anthony's friend as well as hers, and he was a good choice for the job.
Tom walked both women out toward the back door of Anthony's home, and saw Anthony's closest friend Robert step up and reach out his arm for Samantha to take. The two of them left the doorway together as bridesmaid and best man, and then Tom gave Alexis a friendly smile and nod as they stepped out next.
It wasn't a large area in Anthony's garden, but it was enough for the few people who were there, and it was the preferred location for the occasion, to Alexis. She still loved his homestead and could not have imagined a better location for this day.
As she and Tom walked around the garden path, finally the makeshift alter was in view, and she saw Anthony turn and look at her, making her almost melt with the smile he gave her.
Anthony saw the vision and found himself breathless. He had not asked her about her dress so the emerald green was a surprise, but a welcome one as she looked stunning. For a moment he thought back to when he had met her, when she had tried so hard to look completely genderless in an oversized old jersey and old jeans with her hair tucked inside a cap … he could not have anticipated then just how beautiful she really was.
She approached him and Tom carefully moved her hand from his arm to that of Anthony, giving him a smile and a nod in the process, and Alexis sensed Tom fall into place beside Samantha and Robert.
As they said their vows, Alexis could see the combination of nervousness and desire on Anthony's face, and she wondered if she was mirroring those same emotions back at him.
"Anthony, you may kiss your bride," the celebrant said and Anthony immediately pulled her into an intense hug and deep kiss, having wanted to do so for the past few minutes while the vows had been exchanged.
Alexis laughed at his enthusiasm as she also indulged in the feelings of bliss. If anyone had said to her five years ago that she would get married to a good man who made her feel as whole as Anthony did, she would have laughed in the huge unlikelihood of that happening. Even two or three years ago, when she was in the 'situation' with Lincoln, she could never have expected to be where she was today.
Apart from the gift that Lincoln had sent to them - the large photo of Anthony that they had previously seen at the gallery exhibition - she had not heard from him again, and did not expect to. Over time she had found a slight sadness about that. Yes, he had acted without reason toward her. Yes, he had frightened her in his pursuit. But when that had all cleared, after the death of Diana, she had seen a different person - she had seen the person she had met right at the very beginning - the person who did not need the delivery of pain for satisfaction. The person who had so much more to offer than just instructions and commands.
But she could not have any more regrets there. If things had gone on to be wonderful with Lincoln, she would never have been on the bus that day, desperate to get away … and she would never have met Anthony. And she never could have not met him. When they had met they had both had such pain inside of them - him from Cynthia's death, her from her struggles with Lincoln - and they had needed each other to work through those situations of pain.
~~~~~
"You look beautiful, Allie," Anthony whispered in her ear as they held each other closely in the dance, under the small pop-up gazebo they had put up in the garden for the purpose.
She looked at him and reached up to kiss him, something he still revelled in every time that she took the initiative. When it was her doing, he had confirmation that they were kissing because she wanted them to be kissing, and not because she thought he wanted it and that she should. He knew he no longer had to watch for such signs, and truly believed she was well cured from the trauma that seemed to have occurred in her during her time with Lincoln Kokiri, but it didn't stop him silently monitoring her now and then. Just in case there were still triggers that had not yet shown themselves.
"I'm going to make you so happy, Allie," he said to her, quickly discarding the thought that had just been plaguing his mind.
"You already make me happy, Anthony. I could not be any happier," she replied, looking into his eyes, and he kissed her back, loving the feeling of her lips. A feeling he thought he would never get tired of. "And I am very happy to be here, living in your beautiful home with you."
He smiled at her, pleased with that sentence. She had resigned from her job two weeks earlier, but there had been a slight concern in his mind that she had done it for him and not for herself. But one thing he did know for certain - did believe - was that she did love being in his family home with him. That had been evident the moment she had first set her eyes on the house.
"Hey! Stop hogging the dance floor," they heard Samantha say as she nudged them affectionately, making them laugh at her. She was holding Tom's hand and Alexis could see the look on his face that she saw so often. Since Alexis had met her, she had asked Samantha many times if she ever even noticed the way Tom looked at her, but always Samantha laughed it off and disregarded the question. But Alexis could see his face. She could see the yearning he had for Samantha, and Alexis found herself feeling quite sorry for him, to be silently in love with someone, and at the same time be so fearful of declaring that love in case such a declaration would end such a friendship.
Tom felt eyes on him and turned to see Alexis watching him with that same sad smile on her face. He was used to it now, and shrugged it off with a silly face, as he always did to make her laugh and not think about the subject he knew she was thinking of. There were things he wanted to say to Samantha, but they could wait for another time … another day.
Alexis turned her attention back to Anthony, vowing to only think of him now.
"How many children do you think we could fit in this house of yours?" she asked and saw him smile brilliantly.
"A great many," he said and she laughed with him.
"When can we start working on that?" she asked him and he kissed her.
"About two hours from now, when I kick everyone else out and get you alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be continued in
Friendship of Desire (Book 3 in the Painful Deliverance Series)
THANK YOU!
Thank you so much for reading my book, 'Darkness of Heart' (Book 2 in the Painful Deliverance series). I greatly enjoyed writing this story and I appreciate your enthusiasm for reading it.
If you enjoyed 'Darkness of Heart', I hope you will consider taking a moment to place a review in Amazon.
If interested in receiving up to date details of freebies, price drops and new releases, or you just want to say 'hi', please contact me via my website to leave your name and email address, and I shall be glad to send you news.
Thank you,
Ann M Pratley
INTRODUCING: FRIENDSHIP OF DESIRE
(PAINFUL DELIVERANCE SERIES - BOOK #3)
By Ann M Pratley
Tom and Samantha. Feisty friends from childhood who feel like they know each other inside out, until the day comes when one of them suggests they go to a BDSM club together, and become formal play partners. Pushing the limits of what each of them can individually stand in their lifelong friendship, they attract and repel like magnets, until the time comes when they must choose how they will relate to one another - and what kind of relationship they will go on to have in the future.
Whilst on this journey of discovery, the two of them meet and make a new friend - Alexis. A young woman with a hidden and secretive past, and a mystery surrounding the relationship she has - or has had - with a renowned business entrepreneur who begins to integrate himself into Samantha's life, unknown to any of them whether he has done it for him, or for her … or for Alexis, be
ing the mysterious link from his past.
NEW RELEASE: THE GOLDEN DESIRES
By Ann M Pratley
He wanted to escape. They needed to survive.
When Isabella starts to dream of a stranger, she is awakened inside with feelings she has never felt before. She knows he is not someone she has ever seen before, and he is not of her village. He is a stranger, and she is desperate to determine if he is real or he is a part of her imagination.
Far away a businessman desperate to escape the noise and stress of the city, embarks on a journey to find peace and the solitude he desperately desires. But at his destination he will find much, much more.
BONUS EXTRACT: TOTAL FREEDOM
(TOTAL FREEDOM SERIES - BOOK #1)
By Ann M Pratley
The Drabs, that's what we had been known as, as a band in our home town of Dunedin, New Zealand. We weren't the greatest band and only played a couple of original songs, but we were happy doing what we were doing and over time the crowds did seem to come to love us. That was back in the days of what seemed to be equally the best and worst time of my life. Things have changed so much since then.
When I was 14 years old I attended high school like any other 14 year old, I dressed like any other 14 year old, and I got abused like any other overweight 14 year old - and like too many 14 year olds, I couldn't handle the abuse and as a result I let myself go and believed every word of what I was told. No friends, fat, ugly and totally useless - that's what I was told by people all around me and that was what I became.
Even as a teenager I was well aware of the concept of nutrition and weight maintenance, but day after day everything just felt painful, like just getting through each day was work for me. Like no matter how hard I searched, I just couldn't find where or who I was meant to be. And I became used to using food as my therapy - when I ate, I felt a comfort, like it was the one thing that never hurt me.
Through that period I fell into a comfort zone visiting a local café that sold a wide plethora of foods - nutritious and not so nutritious, but I naturally veered toward the latter. Friends were non-existent to me - in my universe I was a nobody who no-one else ever even noticed.
But one day, walking into my favorite café, something changed. Sitting in there was someone who I noticed and who immediately captured my attention because they were also alone, and looking like they were as miserable as I was day after day. Immediately my feelings didn't seem quite so important - but his did.
Approaching him I didn't feel the usual nervousness or anxiety that I did when contemplating saying hello to someone new. This person had such a look of despair and unhappiness that it actually felt natural for me to approach him and ask if I could sit with him. When he looked up he had such a look of surprise, but stammered out a quiet 'okay'.
After I sat down in front of him, I could see that he wasn't far away from my own age, but I had never seen him before. He looked at me with such intensity in his eyes, periodically removing his eyes from my gaze as if he were not only shy but also extremely uncomfortable talking to people.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, without even introducing myself. "You look … unhappy."
He looked utterly confused, like it was a completely new experience, having someone ask him anything. But he then seemed to find some core strength as I saw him take a deep breath, as if summoning a hidden inner confidence, and hold out his hand.
"I'm Craig," his quiet voice said with a level of doubt in it that made me think that it was a natural thing for him to expect someone at this point to turn and walk away.
I held my hand out and shook his briefly, suddenly feeling strange at this new thing happening - someone was shaking my hand? I couldn't remember when even either of my parents had touched me.
"I'm Debbie," I replied, embracing this moment of physical connection with another human being, and not rushing to remove my hand.
We looked at each other, not saying anything, perhaps both understanding in that moment that we were enough alike - enough able to understand exactly where each other was right in this moment in our thinking and our lives - that a friendship was about to be formed. Something we both were so unfamiliar with.
UPCOMING RELEASE: TOTAL NEW BEGINNINGS
(TOTAL FREEDOM SERIES - BOOK #2)
By Ann M Pratley
She made a choice when she was young - a choice that she went on to question throughout her adult life to date. Twenty years on the opportunity to revisit that decision appears before her and she is left to consider what is right.
But in and around this opportunity for decision review, she learns things about her husband that push her to question the soundness of his mind, and wonder why he had ever married her.
A chance to start over, choosing this time to go down the path previously unselected … if we could go back and do it over, would we really make the different choice after all?
INTRODUCING: ALESSANDRA
By Ann M Pratley
After receiving news from her parents of a possible betrothal, Alessandra, an 18 year old with an ingrained belief that no-one would ever wish to marry her, finds herself in a love so great that at times she cannot breathe.
To marry someone like herself - someone she can go on a sexual journey of learning and exploration with, who also has no previous experience in such pleasures - contributes to her finding a degree of emotional and physical love that she has never before realised could exist.
But that love will be tested by someone from her past with sinister intentions, jealous of the physical love she shares with her husband. Someone set on doing whatever he can do - whatever he must do - to have the woman he desires, no matter the cost.
INTRODUCING: CRUISING THROUGH TO FULFILMENT
By Ann M Pratley
When a young woman from a small town in New Zealand travels to Vancouver to see the sights and go on a luxury cruise through the waters of Alaska, all she wishes for is that - a holiday.
On board the Glacial Sun, Tanya meets new friends, one of whom will become more, using his charm and good looks to win her heart. But once on land the discovery of a dead body close to her hotel will make her question the goodness of the person she has let herself trust, and wonder if there is a darker side to him.
All she wants is to find is long term love and life fulfilment. How hard can that be?
BONUS EXTRACT: DRAB TO SEX GODDESS IN 365 DAYS
By Ann M Pratley
May 1st
My name is Sarah. I am a wife and I am a mother, and I live in a small city on the eastern coast of the US. I am 42 years old, and will turn 43 in a couple of weeks. I find myself wondering more and more if I am happy in my life, or if I am letting the days churn by, making sure everyone else is happy, while I myself sit on the sidelines. I am not unhappy and yet I find myself trying to analyze and work out if I am in any way content, or if there is a big hole somewhere.
I am well aware of the 'grass is greener' concept - where we sometimes look at other people and we wish we could have aspects of their lives that we don't have ourselves. I understand how easy it is to fall victim to this thinking, so I don't want to do anything rash that might end up not being real and honest, but rather a green-grass move.
As a mother to offspring who have finished high school and are beginning their own journey, I have to allow for the possibility that I am starting to approach the 'empty nest' part of life, and it is this that is bringing forward my questioning about how my life passes each day. As a mother I am proud and often I have internal stress, worrying about my offspring, but must concede that watching them now start to make their own decisions and change tracks on this road of life, has lessened my stress considerably.
Now I turn my attention back to me. I find more and more that I am ready to start being out of the house more and away from my husband more. He is a good man and he has never done anything to hurt me or given me reason to end our relationship. We have been together for 18 years, married for ten, and he is one of those
men who happily steps up to do things around the house. He does not complain about doing dishes or cooking a proper meal; he will change the sheets and take pride in making the bed every day; and since the one time he came home after drinking, and I told him I didn't want alcohol or anyone using alcohol in our family home, he hasn't come home again in that state. Even I cannot fault him in anything, as far as being a husband goes.
And yet, day to day I look at him and I no longer feel content there. It feels like something is missing, and I must be honest with myself and admit that I find myself thinking about being with someone new. Not someone I already know - my thoughts have ventured to somewhere that we are all victim to now, with technology so available and easy to use. I have been thinking about the possibility of using the Internet to go online and find myself a lover.
This isn't something that I could take lightly, or something that I would rush into. But the thought is there. I see myself having three options. I can stay exactly where I am and continue to feel as I feel. I can end my marriage to my husband and leave, to become a single woman again. Or I can find a person who I can spend time with only now and then, who would be my ongoing lover over an extended period of time. Sounds harsh and cold hearted, doesn't it. I know it does - and I know it is. And is it a grass is greener idea? Of course I have to allow for the strong possibility that it is.
Darkness of Heart (Painful Deliverance Book 2) Page 15