Treading Water

by Marie Force

  “Don’t even tell me we’re moving to Chicago,” Jill said, looking frantic.

  “No, no,” he said when the other two looked at him with equally panicked expressions. “We’re not moving. They are.”

  Maggie’s face lit up with what appeared to be delight.

  Jill looked down at her unfinished blueberry pancakes.

  “So would Eric be like our brother?” Maggie asked.

  “Don’t be such a dork, Maggie,” Jill snapped. “Dad’s not marrying her. He’s not going to be our brother.”

  “There’s no need to get mean about it, Jill,” Jack said. Looking at Maggie, he added, “Jill’s right, honey. I’m not marrying Andi, but she’s wrong about Eric. It will be like he’s your brother in some ways. I’m sure he’d like you to treat him that way.”

  “So they’d live with us?” Kate asked.

  “Yes. I’m hoping you girls will be okay with that.”

  Jill scowled. “Why do they have to live with us? Why can’t they just move close to us?”

  “Because I don’t want to be torn between two homes, and I don’t want to spend any more time than I have to away from you guys.” He paused to give them a moment to absorb that. “Andi and I talked about whether it would be better to move everyone to a new home and start fresh together, but we didn’t want to take you out of your home—the home where you lived with your mother.”

  “I’m glad we’re not moving,” Kate said. “I love our house.”

  “I do, too,” Maggie said.

  Jill maintained a stony silence that worked on his already frazzled nerves.

  “I want you to know something Andi said to me this morning.” He stopped to make sure he had their full attention. “She very much wants to be a friend to all of you if you’d like her to be, but she has no intention of taking your mother’s place, because no one ever could.”

  When Kate seemed to struggle with her emotions, he put an arm around her.

  He held out his other hand to Maggie and Jill, who put theirs on top of his. “No one ever could,” he said again softly.

  Jill appeared to be fighting her own private battle.

  “Where will everyone sleep?” Maggie asked.

  Thank God for Maggie, Jack thought. “Since Frannie is moving in with Jamie, I was thinking we’d give Eric her old room. We could have some fun fixing it up for him. Andi will stay with me in my room.”

  Jill looked up at him. “In Mom’s room? But all her things are there—”

  “And we’d have to deal with that eventually, even if they weren’t moving in. I was thinking we could box up Mom’s stuff and keep it in the attic. That way if any of you ever want anything of hers, it’ll be there for you. What do you think?”

  With her head still resting on his shoulder, Kate nodded.

  “Okay,” Maggie agreed with a sad expression on her face.

  “Jill?”

  Her eyes flashed with anger. “Does it really matter what we think? They’re moving in with us whether we like it or not. That’s what you’re telling us, right? You’re already sleeping with her in the guest room, but we’re not supposed to know that. We’re not stupid.”

  “Watch yourself, Jill.” It took everything he had to stay cool. “I’m hoping you can find it in your hearts to welcome Andi and Eric into our family and to help me find some happiness after all we’ve been through.”

  “We want you to be happy, Dad,” Kate said with a pointed look at her sister. “We can give it a try.”

  “When are they coming?” Maggie asked with excitement.

  He smiled at her as he paid the bill. “They have to pack up their house, and Andi has some things to settle at work, so it’ll be a month or two. You know the hotel we’re building in Newport?”

  Kate and Maggie nodded while Jill continued to sulk.

  “Her company asked her to manage it when it opens.”

  “That’s cool,” Kate said.

  The girls were quiet on the way home. When they pulled into the driveway, he stopped them before they got out of the car. “I love the three of you so much, and nothing will ever change that. I promise.”

  Jill got out of the car and went into the house.

  Kate and Maggie nodded and followed their sister.

  Watching them go, Jack prayed he was doing the right thing for all of them, but Jill’s emotional outburst had him questioning everything.

  Andi had left a note to say she’d walked to the park with Eric.

  Jack looked in on each of the girls as they finished packing for their trip. They were excited to be going with their grandmother and Clare’s family on the cruise. Jack carried bags downstairs for Kate and Maggie before he went back up to check on Jill. He found her lying on her bed with her packed suitcase sitting by the door.

  He was glad that she had straightened up her room, which was usually a disaster area. One whole wall was covered with pictures of her with her friends. As his time with her at home dwindled, he hated the idea of tension between them. “Honey?”

  He sat on her bed and caressed her hair. She’d been like a grown woman last night, but today she was once again his little girl, and she was hurting.

  “I’m sorry you’re upset. I hope you’ll think about it while you’re away and maybe decide to give it a chance.”

  She turned away from him.

  Resigned to her silence, he got up and took her suitcase downstairs.

  When Clare’s mother arrived, Jack pulled on a coat and went out to meet her.

  Anna Richardson was an older version of Clare—petite with short gray hair and bright blue eyes. She greeted him with a warm hug.

  “How are you, Anna?” He hadn’t seen her in a while, but the girls saw her whenever she came from Hartford to visit Clare.

  “I’m doing well. How about you?”

  “Tired today. Big day yesterday with Frannie and Jamie’s wedding.” They’d invited her to come, but she’d chosen to spend some time with Clare before the trip.

  “Everything went well?”

  “It was amazing. The girls looked gorgeous. I’ll make sure you get pictures.”

  “I’d love to see them.”

  “You’ve been to Clare’s?”

  “I stayed there last night.” She shook her head ruefully. “It’s so hard. Nothing ever changes.”

  “I know what you mean.” He kicked at the gravel driveway. “Listen, Anna…”

  “What is it?”

  “I’ve, um…I’ve been seeing someone.”

  “I wondered if you would eventually.”

  Surprised to hear that, he had no idea what to say.

  “It’s been a year and a half, Jack. You can’t be alone forever.”

  “I told the girls this morning that Andi and her son, Eric, will be moving from Chicago next month to live with us.” He released a choppy laugh. “It’s almost harder to tell you.”

  “I can see that you’re happy,” she said, her smile tinged with sadness. “I’m glad for you. I really am.”

  “I want you to know I’ll never stop taking care of Clare, and I have no intention of divorcing her.”

  “I know that, Jack. You don’t have to say it. How’d the girls take the news?”

  “Kate and Maggie were pretty good about it, but Jill…” He shook his head and shrugged.

  “I’ll talk to her while we’re gone and see what I can do. She’ll come around, don’t worry.”

  Despite her reassurances, he had his doubts as Andi and Eric came into the yard, their cheeks red from playing in the cold air.

  He gestured them over. “Andi, this is Clare’s mother, Anna Richardson.”

  The women shook hands.

  “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Richardson.”

  “Likewise. And this must be Eric.”

  Andi used sign language to introduce him to the girls’ grandmother. He waved before he scampered off, probably to find Maggie before she left.

  “I’d better go see where he’s headed,” A
ndi said. “It was a pleasure to meet you. I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip.”

  “Thank you.” After Andi went inside, Anna turned back to Jack. “She’s lovely.”

  “I hope you understand it just happened—”

  Anna rested her hand on his arm. “Clare loved you so much. You were her whole world, and you were always so good to her—before and after the accident. I have no doubt she’d want you to be happy.”

  “Thank you,” he said, his voice gruff with emotion as he hugged her. “The girls are ready to go.” With an arm around her shoulders, he walked her inside to collect the kids.

  They left a few minutes later in a flurry of hugs, chaos, and promises to send postcards.

  Jill hugged Jack before she left, but she didn’t say anything.

  Jack, Andi, and Eric waved good-bye from the front porch. Back inside, Andi held out her arms to Jack as Eric wandered off to play with the trucks he’d gotten for Christmas.

  “How was it? I was on pins and needles at the park.”

  “Not too bad,” he said, absorbing the comfort of her embrace. “Kate and Maggie were great, and Anna really surprised me. She was very understanding.”

  “And Jill?”

  “She was upset, but not about you. She’s still dealing with losing her mother, and it’s hard for her to face more change. I hope you won’t take it personally.”

  “I expected Jill and maybe Kate might be upset about it. I had a feeling Maggie would be happy to have Eric here, and if I’m part of the deal, she’ll put up with me.”

  “Can we tell Eric later? I’m totally drained.”

  She hugged him. “Of course we can. Let’s go watch a movie and be lazy.”

  “Sign me up.”

  Jack awoke to the blare of the TV with Andi and Eric asleep next to him on the sofa. He moved slowly, trying not to disturb them as he retrieved the arm that’d gone numb under them.

  Andi stirred, and when she saw the pickle he was in, she lifted her head to let him up. She giggled when he shook his arm, grimacing as the blood flowed into the limb.

  He stretched and yawned. “That was, without a doubt, the best nap I’ve ever had.”

  “This one will be up all night,” she said, running a finger around on Eric’s cheek.

  His eyes fluttered open, and he swatted at his mother’s hand. He pushed her away when she continued to nudge him awake.

  “Uh-oh, he’s grumpy.”

  Jack sat on the sofa and tickled Eric’s feet.

  Eric’s eyes flew open again, but this time he smiled when he saw who was tickling him.

  “That’s so not fair!” Andi said, laughing. “You’re becoming his favorite!”

  Jack shrugged, but he was thrilled by his burgeoning relationship with the little boy.

  Eric sat up, stretched, and rubbed his eyes.

  “Feel better after a snooze?” Andi signed.

  He nodded and moved closer to Jack, who put an arm around him.

  Andi looked at Jack, and he nodded.

  “Honey, Jack and I have something we want to tell you.”

  “Are you getting married?”

  “No, sweetie, but Jack has asked us to come here to live with him and the girls.”

  Eric’s eyes brightened. “Really?” He turned to look at Jack. “Would you be my dad, then?”

  Jack’s heart skipped a beat. “Would you like that?”

  Eric nodded.

  Andi blinked back tears.

  “I’d love to be your dad,” Jack signed and then pulled Eric into his arms. He reached out to include Andi and held them close, filled with contentment as the sun set and darkness fell upon the room.

  After dinner, the three of them played two rounds of Candy Land. Eric won both times, giggling at Jack’s agony when he got stuck in the Molasses Swamp for the third time.

  Andi signed to Eric that it was bedtime.

  Jack stopped her when she started to get up. “Let me.” He picked Eric up and slung him over his shoulder. Jack held the squirming boy so he could give his mother an upside-down kiss.

  Andi watched them go upstairs, thrilled that Eric had such a wonderful man in his life. She was giddy with happiness as she went into the study to put away the game.

  On the way back, she paused to look at the family portrait hanging in the hallway off the kitchen. Judging by the ages of the girls, she figured it had been taken about a year before Clare’s accident. They were casually dressed, and Jack’s arm was around Clare. He and the girls were missing the hint of sadness in their eyes that Andi still caught occasional glimpses of in each of them.

  Although she’d seen many photos of Clare, for some reason she felt drawn in this time. She shuddered at the chill that went through her when Clare’s startling blue eyes seemed to issue a challenge. Andi shook it off, straightened the photo on the wall, and went to finish cleaning up the kitchen.

  Upstairs, Jack wrestled Eric into his pajamas, helped him brush his teeth, and tucked him into bed with the stuffed dog he slept with. He pulled the covers up, tickling him as he went.

  Eric giggled and crooked his finger to bring Jack closer.

  He lowered his face.

  Eric kissed his cheek and signed, “I love you.”

  Overwhelmed, Jack kissed Eric and signed, “I love you, too, buddy. Good night.” Flipping the light off, he blew a kiss from the doorway and went downstairs.

  He slid his arms around Andi from behind. “Your son is awesome.”

  She had been wiping the countertop and loading the dishwasher. Turning to him, she put her hands on his shoulders. “What happened?”

  “He told me he loves me.”

  “Oh, Jack, of course he does. You’re so good to him.”

  “He knocked the wind out of me when he asked if I’d be his dad. I’ll never forget that. I can’t wait to get you both here for good.”

  She went up on tiptoes to kiss him. “Me, too.”

  He wrapped his arms tight around her as he kissed her. When they came up for air, he hoisted her over his shoulder—just as he had done to Eric—and carried her upstairs.

  They fell onto the guest bed laughing. He kissed her without breaking the intense eye contact between them. “I love you, Andi,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too. Happy New Year.”

  Andi and Eric flew back to Chicago for the last time before their move. Now it was her turn to tell the people in her life about their plans, but as worried as she was about how her mother would react, she was relieved their children now knew. She and Jack had taken Eric to tour the Rhode Island School for the Deaf. He’d met the woman who would be his teacher, and she’d signed that she couldn’t wait to have him in her class. The director also put Andi in touch with a carpool from Newport.

  Andi decided to tell her mother about the move the next evening and asked Eric not to mention it to his grandmother before she could. He was sad when Andi told him his grandmother probably wouldn’t move with them, but he promised he wouldn’t tell her.

  After breaking the news to her coworkers during an emotional day at work, Andi tucked Eric into bed and worked up the courage for what she needed to do next. She found her mother in her room watching one of her favorite TV shows.

  “I can come back later,” Andi said when she saw what was on.

  “Come in. It’s a rerun.” Betty clicked off the television and looked at her daughter. “Everything all right?”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “Oh?”

  Andi sat on the edge of her mother’s bed and hesitated for a moment. Here we go. “Jack has asked us to live with him in Rhode Island.”

  “You’re going.”

  Andi nodded.

  “How can you uproot your whole life for a man who can’t even marry you?”

  Andi struggled to keep the anger out of her voice. “Because I have more of a life with him in five minutes than I do in a whole year here, and that’s enough for me.”
/>   “I’ve told you how I feel about this.”

  “You’re welcome to come with us. We’d all love that, and there’s plenty of room.”

  “Thank you anyway, but I’ll be staying right here in Chicago. This is my home, and I won’t be leaving it.”

  “I’m sorry you feel that way. I wish you could be happy for me.”

  “How can I when I see you setting up yourself—and Eric—for disaster? He’s married, Andrea. I’m deeply disappointed in you—and in him. I appreciated his kindness when Eric was sick, but it doesn’t change anything.”

  Andi got up to walk to the door. “We’re leaving on the eighth of next month. I’ll help you move in with Auntie Lou before then, if that’s what you’d like.”

  “That’s fine.”

  Saddened, Andi went back to her room. The conversation had gone pretty much as she’d expected, but she had hoped her mother might’ve changed her mind about Jack—especially after everything he did for them when Eric was sick. She knew that if his situation had been different, Betty would’ve been delighted to see her daughter with a man like him. Just like Jack had said about Jill, it wasn’t personal. But knowing that didn’t take the sting out of her mother’s words. Before she called Jack, Andi decided to take a shower and try to get her emotions under control.

  In Rhode Island, Jack faced a daunting task of his own. He’d decided to pack up Clare’s things while he was alone in the house, which was eerily quiet with the girls away, Andi and Eric back in Chicago, and Frannie on her honeymoon. Jack couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so alone, and it seemed like a good time to face the dreaded task.

  Starting with Clare’s large walk-in closet, he folded her clothes and placed them in boxes. He made a separate pile of things he was certain the girls would never want, which he would donate. Working fast, he tried to think about anything other than what he was doing.

  Once he’d finished with the hanging clothes, he moved to the closet shelf, packing away sweaters and purses. When he reached up to grab the next item, his hand hit a large envelope, hidden beneath a pile of sweaters.