Tarnished Soul: A Nine Minutes Spin-Off Novel

by Beth Flynn

  He gave her a curious stare. “Why do you say that?”

  “Because high-performing dyslexics are very intelligent, out-of-the box thinkers and problem solvers.”

  “Yeah, so?” he questioned.

  “You have a very good vocabulary, Jonas, and it’s probably because dyslexics have excellent comprehension of stories that are read or told to them. You not only comprehended those stories, but you planted the words and their meanings in your brain for future use. Just like there are high-functioning alcoholics, there are high-functioning adults who don’t know how to read. You’ve always had to be creative to hide your reading issues, so you’ve developed skills that even an adult who can read might not have. Not to mention how quickly you devised an immediate plan based on me dropping my purse and turning my back on you while you removed my housekey from the ring.” She pointed to his temple. “Quick out-of-the box thinker.”

  “Why don’t I have trouble with numbers?”

  “That’s a different disability and it’s called dyscalculia, commonly referred to as math dyslexia. It’s a completely different issue altogether and I doubt we need to address it in our reading lessons.”

  He didn’t reply as he eagerly waited for her to continue the lesson. Before either of them realized it, hours had flown by and the cabin was becoming swathed in a warm glow. The sun was setting, the air was cooler, and Lucy’s stomach let out a growl that could’ve wakened the dead.

  Jonas stood up and stretched. “Let’s get some food and figure out how we’re going to spend the rest of the night.”

  They settled on sandwiches since deli meat had the least amount of shelf life. They ate in companionable silence and washed down their sandwiches, potato chips, and pickles with soda. Cleanup was almost too easy. Two small plates and the knife they’d used to spread the condiments were wiped clean and returned to their places on the shelves. The empty soda cans and napkins were tossed in a garbage bag that hung from the end of the counter. The sky was soft with magnificent colors as Lucy made her way to the outhouse, while Jonas stood guard from the porch. Once back inside, she told him she wanted to take a bath.

  “I’ll light the stove and heat a kettle of water for you,” he informed her.

  She held up a hand to stop him. “That won’t be necessary. I like bubble baths but not steaming hot ones. When we used the water from the kitchen pump to wash the dishes, it was the perfect temperature. Not hot and not cold, but somewhere in between. I’m assuming the bathtub pump is from the same fresh underground spring?”

  “Yeah, it’s the same. And if you’re going to use your bubble bath, you’ll have to swirl it around on your own to make the bubbles because the pump isn’t like a faucet.”

  She smiled at him. “I figured that.” She paused and shyly looked away. “I’ve never used a lantern before. Can you show me how to light the one next to the bed?”

  He followed her into the room, carried the lantern over to the tub, and showed Lucy how to light it. He placed it on the milk crate and said, “The water’s clean enough to brush your teeth. But to be on the safe side, I wouldn’t recommend swallowing it. And if you’re uncomfortable with that, I can boil you some water.”

  She looked up at him before replying. “Do you brush your teeth with the water from the pumps?

  His reply was an affirmative nod.

  “What’s good enough for you will be good enough for me, Jonas.”

  Chapter 28

  Jonas sat on the couch and let the sweet and enticing aroma of peaches and cream attack his senses as it drifted through the curtained divider. Lucy was on the other side of a flimsy piece of fabric that separated the rooms. Completely nude. He shook his head, as if doing so would cast away all thoughts of what she looked like beneath the bubbles. When that didn’t work, he rocketed up from the couch.

  “Lucy, I’m going for a walk,” he yelled, his voice gruff.

  “In the dark?” came her concerned reply.

  “It’s not fully dark yet,” he called over his shoulder before heading out the door and slamming it behind him.

  He returned twenty minutes later and found her sitting on the couch in her pajamas, her wet hair neatly tucked behind her ears. Her nose in a book.

  “I was wondering if you have any interest in this story? Unless you already know it?” she asked, smiling as she held up the novel.

  “No, I don’t have a clue what it’s about. Except that a young girl from six years ago mentioned a hateful nurse named Ratched.”

  She sat up straighter and pulled her legs up to form a pretzel. “You want me to read it to you?” She looked around the tiny front room and said, “We don’t have a television or radio or anything else. We might as well make good use of our evenings, don’t you think?”

  Her eyes were so wide with trust and enthusiasm, he was certain he felt his heart flutter in his chest. He cleared his throat before answering. “Yeah, I think it’s a good idea.” He plopped himself down on the far end of the couch, which wasn’t far enough as far as he was concerned.

  “Do you want to change into your pajamas first?” she asked.

  “I don’t wear pajamas,” he informed her and watched as a silent O formed on her lips. He tried not to smile. She was so damn cute.

  He kicked off his heavy boots and loosened his belt. After leaning back into the couch, he closed his eyes and let Lucy’s voice take him into another world.

  Jonas figured about twenty minutes had gone by when Lucy announced, “I’m so sorry, Jonas, but I’m more exhausted than I thought. Can we call it a night? I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open.”

  He sat up and glanced her way. Her eyes were glazed with fatigue and she was yawning. “Sure thing. Now that I think about it, we’ve both been up for almost twenty-four hours. I’m surprised it took this long to catch up with us. I’m pretty beat myself.”

  She excused herself and returned quickly with a pillow and the top sheet from her bed. “I’m not sure if you have bedding for yourself. It’s not really cold, so I’m thinking a sheet will suffice.”

  Jonas thanked her and watched her disappear behind the curtain. He sat still and stared at nothing in particular for a very long time. He was physically exhausted but mentally on fire. For Lucy. He’d been trying to deny it, but denial would no longer be an option. Being so close to her was threatening every iota of his self-control. He’d been telling himself he only wanted a chance to get to know her and vice versa. But his gut was telling him something different.

  You’re such an asshole, he told himself. Did you really think this was just about getting to know her? Face it. The only reason you’ve gotten out of bed for the past six years was because you knew she was out there somewhere. How much more so now that she’s in the bed in the next room?

  Exhausted from wrestling with his thoughts, he stood up and noticed the light was still on behind the curtain. He peeked inside and was about to tell her that he just wanted to grab a towel when he saw that she was asleep. She even slept like a queen and reminded him of a cartoon he’d seen as a child. Lucy slept on her back with her arms primly folded and resting on top of the bedspread. He grabbed the towel and padded toward the lantern on her nightstand. He shut it off and headed for the kitchen where he would clean himself up at the sink before turning in for the night.

  Chapter 29

  Lucy woke with a start and panic immediately settled in. She sat straight up and began counting. “Nine, four, six.” She paused to fill up her lungs with a vigorous amount of air as total and complete blackness threatened to swallow her whole. “Two, five, five.” And then she remembered. “It’s okay. You’re in the cabin and Jonas is sleeping in the next room. An animal sound from outside must’ve woken you. It’s okay. You’re okay.” She couldn’t see her hand in front of her, but she felt him.

  “Lucy?” came his voice from the door. “Who are you talking to?”

  “I was talking to myself.”

  He heard her take a quick, hard breath. />
  “Jonas, can you please light the lantern again? I don’t like the dark. I’m actually deathly afraid of it. It’s why I left it on when I came to bed. I guess it burned itself out.”

  She heard him as he skirted around the bed and found the nightstand. Before she knew it, they were both bathed in a soft and muted light.

  “It didn’t burn out,” he admitted. “I came in for a towel and saw you sleeping, so I turned it off. I’d leave it on, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have enough oil to keep this burning every night while we’re here.”

  She sat up a little straighter and tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear. She hadn’t retrieved her glasses from the nightstand and squinted up at him. He watched her gulp before saying, “It’s a completely irrational fear. I have no basis to authenticate it. I don’t know why I’m afraid of the dark, but maybe this is my chance to face it. I’ll just suck it up.”

  The thought of her lying in the dark scared out of her wits didn’t sit right with Jonas. “Would you feel better if I was closer?” he asked. His face was lined with concern, but without her glasses, she didn’t notice. When she didn’t immediately answer, he offered, “I can sleep on the floor. Right next to you.”

  She reached for her glasses while exclaiming, “The floor? I can’t let you sleep on a hard floor for the next month.”

  “Believe me when I tell you I’ve slept in less comfortable places.”

  She let the comment go and said, “I’m the one with the problem, not you. I’ll take the floor.”

  He huffed out a breath and raked his hand down his face. “There is another option. I can sleep on the bed with you. I’ll be on top of the covers and you’ll be under them. And we can sleep back-to-back. I promise it won’t be inappropriate.” Pretty tall promise for a guy who hasn’t been able to keep it in his pants since he first discovered what it was good for. Ignoring his internal comment, he asked, “Would that work?”

  She eyeballed his jeans. “I thought you said you don’t wear pajamas.”

  “I don’t. But I figured if you woke up before me and came out and found me buck naked, it might make you feel uncomfortable, so I kept them on. And I’ll keep them on when we’re sleeping.” But not forever, his inner voice mocked.

  Laying her glasses back on the nightstand, she asked, “Do you have a side you prefer?” When he shook his head, she scooted to the other side of the bed so Jonas could manage the lantern on the nightstand. He quickly retrieved his pillow from the front room and took the place next to her. He was so big and heavy the bedsprings shrieked in outrage and there was a brief moment where Lucy thought the bed might collapse. But it didn’t. He turned off the lantern and she felt him shift and knew his back was to her. She rolled away from him and closed her eyes.

  Thirty minutes that felt like hours passed during which neither of them found respite in sleep.

  “Jonas,” she whispered. “Are you still awake?”

  “Yeah,” came a frustrated mutter.

  She rolled on her back. “Do you feel like talking?”

  “Sure.” The creaky bedsprings announced that Jonas had also rolled onto his back. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “I don’t know,” came her soft reply. He thought he felt her shrug. “Maybe you can tell me why you think you were born bad.”

  He gave a mild chuckle before launching into a series of stories from his childhood.

  “Sounds like you were mischievous, not bad,” Lucy informed him.

  “Maybe,” he agreed. “But it got worse as I got older.” He shared a few more tales of his early teenage years and wasn’t surprised to hear Lucy gasp at one in particular.

  “Jonas, doesn’t anything scare you?” she interrupted.

  “It used to,” he admitted. He then launched into a story about being frightened by something he’d seen on television when he was a child. “I couldn’t get the vision out of my head, and it became a whole routine every single night at bedtime. You know the kind. Checking the closet, under the bed, making sure the windows were locked.” He felt her nod in the darkness. “And even at that young age I knew it was fucked up. That it was fucking me up and it pissed me off. Especially since I was what you called mischievous. So instead of running away from my fears, I ran at them with everything I had. I was determined to not be afraid of anything. And the way I did that was to do battle with anything or anyone I saw as threatening.”

  “Oh my!” he heard Lucy exclaim.

  He smiled in the dark. “I picked fights with kids I knew could kick the shit out of me. And they did. I taunted the neighbor’s dog until he took a chunk out of my ass. Shit, I even jumped on the back of an alligator when I was nine and shoved a bowie knife bigger than myself into the back of its head. That was how I coped with fear when I was a kid. I destroyed it before it destroyed me. I turned my fear into aggression. And I did it for so long it became second nature. I guess in some twisted way it made me fearless.”

  “So you’re not afraid of anything? Nothing at all?”

  He let out a yawn, an indication that the conversation would have to wait until another time. “Nothing at all,” he replied, his voice raspy. He rolled sideways, his back snug against Lucy’s side.

  He found his last coherent thought before sleep crept in rather unsettling. I’m Jonas Fucking Brooks and I’m not afraid of anything. Except losing you, Lucy.

  Chapter 30

  Jonas didn’t know at what point in the middle of the night he rolled back toward Lucy. All he did know was that he woke the next morning with her in his arms and a raging and painful erection that served as testimony as to what hadn’t happened during the course of the night. He slowly disengaged himself from her jumble of pale and delicate limbs. After grabbing a bar of soap, he cut a quick and direct path for the front door, grateful the squeaking bed hadn’t wakened her. Avoiding the outhouse, he relieved his full bladder behind a stand of trees. He walked to the small pond where he’d tossed Lucy’s car key, kicked off his jeans, and waded in. The cool morning water was refreshing, and out of habit, he used a long branch and made his way around the pond stabbing at the bottom to make sure it was void of any unwanted creatures like alligators and snakes. Satisfied that he was alone, he swam to the edge where he’d left his pants and retrieved the bar of soap. He lathered himself from head to toe, and closing his eyes, plunged beneath the water.

  Lucy had been awake long before Jonas and dared not move. She didn’t remember being pulled into his chest where the soft hairs of his muscular pecs tickled her cheek. Or had she put herself here? Regardless, she knew what she was feeling against her hip. She was afraid to move, to breathe, embarrassed that she might’ve been responsible for placing herself in this position. Her first thought had been of how natural it felt. Her second thought resembled something closer to a physical awakening in the core of her belly being taunted by emotional common sense. He’d made it clear he was only interested in getting to know her and had no intentions of sleeping with her. Or rather, having sex with her. They were friends, nothing more, and she was to use the time to further his education. She knew his erection wasn’t for her but instead a natural part of a healthy and virile man’s functioning anatomy. Was it wrong for her to hope for something more despite all of the horrible things she’d learned about him? She couldn’t find a rational explanation as to why she was so drawn to him.

  Maybe he was just biding his time, feeling her out, comparing her to more experienced, more beautiful women like Shasta. Or worse yet, maybe she was some sort of stupid experiment or motorcycle club prank. Just the idea of being used and tricked brought back painful high school memories. She’d made up her mind to slowly untangle herself from his embrace when she sensed a change in his breathing and knew he was awake. She kept her eyes closed and feigned sleep while he slowly disengaged himself from her and the bed and left the room. It wasn’t until she heard the front door close that she let herself open her eyes and sit up.

  After washing her face, she wandere
d outside and since he was nowhere in sight, she made use of the outhouse. On her way back to the cabin, she heard splashing and found him in the pond. If she’d only craned her neck a little more toward the left when she first came out on the porch, she’d have spotted the rippling water which was now sporting a layer of suds.

  “Good morning,” he called as she approached.

  She walked to the edge of the small pond and stood with her hands on her hips. She eyed his jeans on the ground. “Good morning to you too. I guess I’ve proven that I can walk to the outhouse unassisted,” she teased. “And I assume you’re naked.”

  “I could see you the whole time and yeah, I’m naked. I forgot to bring a towel with me. Would you mind getting me one?”

  She returned with the towel and sat on the banks of the pond and dangled her feet in the water. After asking him if he felt safe to swim in the pond and hearing his explanation as to how he checked for unwelcome creatures, she posed a question.

  “You told me how your grandfather had a heart for animals and only hunted for food. Did he ever find out that you’d killed an alligator just to prove you weren’t afraid of it?”

  Jonas shook his wet hair, the spray of water creating a halo of color in the bright morning sun. “He was with me. We were gator hunting. For food,” he clarified. “And we were doing it the way he’d taught me since I was waist-high. When I decided to jump on its back, it about gave him a heart attack. It wasn’t a selfish or wasted kill. We ended up eating it, but he made me promise that I would never do that again.”

  “And have you?” she questioned.

  His face grew serious. “I promised him I wouldn’t and I haven’t.” He paused before asking, “Have you ever tasted alligator?”

  She shook her head. “What does it taste like?”

  “It tastes like chicken. Maybe I’ll hunt one while we’re here and cook it up for you. Let you try it.”