A Reason to Leave

by Melissa Ellen

  His tired, warm, sweaty body fell over me. Melting into me. When our breathing slowed, he rolled us into his favorite position, plastering me against his chest as he held me firmly to him. We laid in silence for a while, bringing our minds and bodies back down to earth.

  We spent most of our morning in bed. It wasn’t until after Liam made me lunch that we ventured outside of the cabin, going for a hike along a trail that followed along the edge of the lake. Liam told me more about the property and his family.

  They owned a little over four acres where the cabin was situated. His family spent many long weekends together here. It was where they would go to get away from their busy city life. His dad was a plastic surgeon and his mom was an attorney. Most of the memories he still had of his family were from their time spent here. The property had been left to him in their will. It was the only thing he had left of them. Everything else he’d gotten rid of, but he couldn’t bring himself to part with the cabin.

  He didn’t come out here as much anymore. But Frankie, Dax and he would try to make it out to the cabin every couple of months for a fishing trip or to take care of maintenance issues to keep it in good shape.

  By the time we returned to the cabin, I was exhausted. I relaxed on the porch swing, looking out at the shimmering lake. Liam was inside, grabbing us some snacks and beverages. He returned with a glass of wine for me and a bottle of beer for himself along with a small plate of various deli meats and cheeses.

  Liam held my hand as the swing swayed slowly back and forth. We watched the sun descend as we sipped our drinks with casual conversation. The air cooled around us with the departure of the sun. A shiver ran through my body with a chilling breeze. Goose bumps prickled my skin.

  “Are you cold?” he asked, pulling me closer to his side to warm me.

  “A little,” I admitted.

  “I’ll get you a blanket.” He kissed my temple before releasing me to go inside.

  I pulled my feet up onto the edge of the swing, wrapping my arms around my bent knees. Liam returned moments later with a blanket and my phone. He handed both to me.

  “Your phone was blowing up in there,” he explained when I gave him a questioning look.

  “Oh.” I swiped at my screen, unlocking my phone to find a multitude of missed calls and texts from every member in my family. “Oh my gosh!” I jumped up from the swing in a panic, the blanket falling to the ground. “We have to go! Now! We have to go back to L.A!”

  Liam’s face fell with concern. “What happened? Is everything okay?”

  “No!” I spit out without thinking. His eyes flashed with fear. His body went rigid. “I mean, yes. Sorry. Ava’s in labor. My nephew is coming!” I beamed excitedly.

  He relaxed immediately, a slow smile stretched across his face. “Okay, princess,” he said calmly. “We need to pack up and then we can head back.”

  “There’s no time! We have to get to the hospital.”

  He laughed. “I don’t know much about having a baby, but I do know they don’t just come flying out as soon as the woman goes in labor. Maybe call your family. See how she is doing. I’ll pack.”

  He kissed my forehead before heading inside to pack up our things. I called Rhett and confirmed she was still in early labor. He assured me we had plenty of time. My parents and Ava’s family were on a flight headed to Los Angeles. Ava’s mom had arrived earlier in the week, anticipating that she would be going into labor soon.

  Liam had us on the road within forty minutes of finding out Ava was in labor. He drove us straight to the hospital. Rhett met us in the waiting area to give us a brief update. He seemed way calmer and more in control than I was. I had no idea how he did it. I was a hot mess. After giving us the latest, he rushed back to be with Ava.

  My parents, Ava’s sister, Emily, her husband, Jackson, and their grandmother, who we all called Nana, arrived. I hugged them all, giving them the latest and introducing them to Liam. The introduction to my parents was a bit awkward…it wasn’t exactly how I planned them to meet Liam for the first time. I hadn’t even thought to warn Liam.

  It worked out for the best, though. My parents were overly joyous about the arrival of their first grandchild that my father didn’t even think to give Liam the third degree. After another hour of waiting impatiently in the uncomfortable chairs of the hospital, Ava’s mother, Sarah, came out to give us the most current update.

  “She is starting to push. He’ll be here soon!” She smiled gleefully. “She is doing great.”

  We all sat on pins and needles, waiting. Liam held my hand tight as everyone visited in hushed voices. After what seemed like forever, Rhett came out with the proudest smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes. Nathaniel David Blackwood had arrived, named after Ava’s father. He was healthy and happy, snuggling in Ava’s arms.

  We gave Ava and Rhett a few more minutes alone with their son before we each took turns going to meet him. When it was finally my turn, Liam went with me. I walked into the room, peeking my head through the cracked door. The giddiness of meeting my baby nephew was displayed with a huge smile on my face.

  Ava was sitting up in the bed, holding baby Nate as Rhett stood beside them, staring lovingly at his family. I watched for a moment before interrupting them. I looked back at Liam with fondness. He smiled back at me. I opened the door further.

  “Hi,” I said softly, not wanting to startle the baby.

  Ava and Rhett looked up at me simultaneously.

  “Val,” Ava grinned in greeting, “Come meet your nephew.”

  I walked with light footsteps into the room with Liam following behind me. He stepped off to the side as I approached the side of the bed.

  “Oh my gosh…Ava….he’s beautiful.”

  “Just like his mother,” Rhett added, kissing her on the top of her head.

  I smiled down at my baby nephew, taking in every little feature from his tiny fingers to his tiny ears that were surrounded by a full head of dark brown hair. I stuck my finger out, letting him grasp his little hand around it.

  “Hi there, Nate. I’m your Aunt Val,” I leaned in, whispering to him as his big blue eyes landed on me.

  “Do you want to hold him,” Ava offered.

  I nodded eagerly. Ava shifted, sitting up to delicately pass Nate to me. I cradled him into my arms, pulling him close to my body, unable to remove the smile that was plastered permanently to my face.

  I glanced over at Liam who was standing awkwardly off to the side. “Come meet him.”

  Liam looked at Rhett, who gave a single encouraging nod. He walked to stand behind me. Looking over my shoulder at him.

  “Isn’t he the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?”

  “He’s definitely a handsome guy.” Liam, smiled softly down at him.

  “Do you want to hold him?”

  He shook his head, “I’m good.”

  I giggled at his obvious nervousness. I wondered if he’d ever been around a baby besides his baby sister.

  “Fine. More snuggles for me.” I wasn’t really ready to release him anyways.

  After a few more minutes of bonding with Nate, I handed him to my brother. He held him closely to his chest as we all visited. Ava and Rhett each giving us their version of the moment Ava went into labor. Nate fell asleep despite the conversation around him. Nana came through the door with Sarah.

  “Where is that handsome great grandson of mine?” she asked as she slowly moved further into the room. Sarah supported Nana as she walked. It amazed me that the old woman was still kicking. She had a youthfulness about her, despite her aged body.

  “He’s right here, Nana,” Rhett grinned at her.

  He moved a chair one-handedly next to the bed for her to sit as he held his son in the other. Sarah helped Nana settle into the chair. Once she was situated, Rhett handed Nate over to her. She smiled proudly down at him.

  “He’s just as handsome as his father. He’s going to be a strapping young man.”

  “Thank you, Nana….but I th
ink all the best parts of him come from his mother’s side.” Rhett glanced back at Ava, winking at her.

  “Maybe so…but he definitely has your cheeks,” she reached up, patting Rhett’s face with one hand.

  Ava choked on her laughter, while the rest of us held in our own. The old woman adored my brother and was never shy about letting him know. As if his ego needed it.

  We watched Nana coo at Nate a little longer before, telling everyone goodbye. I promised to stop by the house after they were settled at home.

  Liam was oddly quiet on the drive back to his place. In fact he had been oddly quiet since the moment we arrived at the hospital. I looked over at him, noticing the tenseness in his face for the first time.

  “Is everything okay?”

  He didn’t respond.

  “Liam?” I said as I slid my hand over his thigh. He flinched slightly before glancing over at me.

  “Sorry. Did you say something?”

  “Yeah….I asked if you were okay.”

  He nodded, giving me nothing else. He was closing himself off again, and I couldn’t understand why. I removed my hand from him. I sat back, trying to process what possibly could have happened for him to turn cold. We’d come so far over the last few days.

  I closed my eyes needing to think. I was tired and drained from the long night. I opened my eyes when the car slowed and came to a stop. I looked over at him confused. We were outside my apartment building.

  “I thought we were going to your place?”

  “It’s been a long night, Val. You should get some rest.”

  “You’re not coming up with me?”

  He shook his head. I stared at him in disbelief. This was worse than normal. He was pushing me away. Not just emotionally, but physically.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said, reaching out to run his hand along my face. I swatted it away.

  “Don’t bother.” I clipped.

  I flung the door open, rushing out of the car, slamming the door behind me. My heart pounded hard in my chest even though it was crumbling. I moved as quickly as my feet would carry me without breaking into a full on sprint. I heard the slam of a car door.

  “Damn it! Val! Wait!” Liam yelled from a distance. I ignored him, focused on getting inside my building away from him. I was only a few feet from the main entrance of my building when I felt a hand clasp around my wrist. I tried to yank free, but his hold was too strong.

  “Val, stop!”

  “Screw you,” I whipped around, screaming at him. Tears escaped from my eyes. I had no idea why I was crying other than it being the result of an emotional roller coaster over the last forty-eight hours. He crushed me to his body, trying to calm me down. I beat my fist on his chest, letting out every emotion through my punches.

  “I’m sorry…I’m sorry. I’m a fucking asshole.” He ran his hand down the back of my hair as he held me tight. I pushed against his chest forcefully, freeing myself. He loosened his grip, allowing me to step away.

  “Stop it! Stop freaking apologizing and just tell me what’s wrong!” I demanded through my tears.

  “I…” he stuttered. “I don’t know. I….,” He threw his hands into his hair.

  “I don’t understand you. I’m trying really hard to. I want to be here for you. But you keeping pushing me away.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then don’t push me away. Talk to me. Let me be there for you.”

  He nodded his agreement. But his face remained hardened. I turned away from him. I needed to calm my nerves.

  “Val.” He grabbed at my wrist desperately.

  “I’m not walking away. I just need a minute,” I assured him. He released me. I took a couple of deep breaths, gathering the strength that was required for the both of us.

  When I turned back to face him, his face was sunken with defeat as he stared at the ground lost in his own head. I stepped towards him, cupping his face in my hands as I raised it to look at me.

  “Liam…we’re staying the night together. And you’re going to talk to me.” My determined stare and tone left no room for argument.

  “Okay, princess.”

  “Okay,” I reconfirmed. I took his hand in mine and lead him into my apartment. I had no idea if Lexie was home, and I started to wonder if maybe it would have been better for us to go to his place. But at this point, I was too tired to make that drive and too determined to get some answers on what had spooked him, making him want to push me away.

  When we walked into my apartment, the place was dark and eerily quiet. I got the feeling Lexie was probably not home. I just hoped that didn’t mean she was back with Jake. I didn’t let myself think about that for more than a second. Right now I need to focus on Liam.

  We walked into my bedroom. I released his hand, leaving him in the doorway of my room. I switched on a lamp, illuminating the room with a dim glow. It was still dark outside, but the sun would be up in a few hours. Despite the fact I hadn’t slept, I was wide awake.

  I slipped off my shoes, crawling onto my bed. Liam stood, unmoving. I looked at him expectantly. He hesitated before moving, slipping off his own shoes and stripping out of his clothes. He crawled beside me on the bed. His arms enclosed me as he pulled me down to my side to face him. We stared at each other for a moment before he spoke.

  “I’ve only been in a hospital two other times… Once when I waited for my family to die and once when I thought I was waiting for Frankie to die.”

  I closed my eyes as the realization of what being there might have been doing to him.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t even think-”

  “Let me finish, princess.” He brushed my hair from my face. I nodded.

  “I’m glad I was there. I’m glad I got to witness life come out of there and not just death.”

  “Then why –“

  He raised an eyebrow at me, silencing my question. Right. Let him finish.

  “You have so many people in your life that love you. You have a great family. They’re perfect. You’re perfect…And I don’t want to be the imperfect in your life. I don’t want to be the one that drags you into the dark.”

  His face was pained with self-doubt.

  “Liam…we are far from perfect. We just accept each other for who we are. We love unconditionally. And regardless of what you think of yourself, you are perfect. You’re perfect for me,” I told him with conviction.

  “I wish that were true, princess. But there is so much you still don’t know. Things that would change your mind.”

  “Nothing will change my mind, and I hope one day you will trust in me – in us – enough to tell me. But until that day, I’m going to do everything I can to make you believe it.”

  His feeble smile told me he was pretending to be hopeful. But I could see the anguish still in his eyes. I lifted my lips to his, pressing a firm kiss to his mouth. I burrowed into his chest, preparing to allow my sleepy mind to rest.

  “Thank you for staying and talking to me,” I whispered. He kissed the top of my head moments before I drifted off to sleep.

  CHAPTER 15

  My final fall semester was a whirlwind of school, work and auditions. Liam and I mostly saw each other in passing, but we stayed as many nights together as we could. It was the week after Thanksgiving, and I was finally done with school with the exception of graduation. Liam and Frankie had spent Thanksgiving with my family and Ava’s. The day had been full of laughter, especially watching the repartee between Nana and Frankie.

  It turned out Donna dropping me as a client was a blessing in disguise. My new agent, Amanda, was able to get me auditions for better roles that lead to greater opportunities. I had one earlier in the day for a small Indie film that I knew I nailed. I was really hoping to get a call back. The script for the movie was great. With the right people involved in the film, it could end up gaining a lot of traction. Traction that could help my own career.

  I was on my way to pick up Lexie from work. We were headed to d
o a little shopping for outfits to wear to the Derailed concert tonight. I hadn’t been able to attend one in a while, which I hated. Liam understood. He was always supportive, telling me I needed to focus on school and my auditions. Assuring me there would be plenty of shows for me to attend in the future.

  Despite his best efforts to make me feel better about missing them, I still felt bad. I wanted to be able to support him and his music. I knew how much his music meant to him. Plus, I hated the thought of all the groupies getting their claws on him when I wasn’t around. I had no doubt Liam would do everything to avoid their advances. I trusted him. It didn’t mean I liked giving them the opportunity to even approach him.

  Lexie was already waiting for me outside of Sweet Beans when I pulled up. She jumped in my car just as excited about this shopping trip as me. Or maybe she was more excited about going to the show. Either way we both were in happy moods and happy relationships.

  It turned out her mystery date from months ago was Dax. The two of them had been dating ever since. I was ecstatic for her. Dax seemed as into Lexie as she was him. Plus, it gave me someone to hang with in their reserved booth during the concerts as we privately glared at all the other girl’s ogling our men.

  We decided to begin our shopping trip with getting our nails done. Tonight was a special night for Derailed. They had recently brought on a manager for the band. A manager who had a lot of connections. He had set up for a producer of a well-known record label to attend tonight.

  After wrapping up our girls’ day, Lexie and I returned to our apartment to get ready for the show. We both had picked out dresses and heels to wear. Lexie was more open to wearing stilettos, knowing it drove Dax wild when she did. She still needed a little practice in walking in them, though.

  I wrapped a towel around me as I stepped out of the shower. I curled my hair into big, loose curls and applied my make-up before walking into my room to slip on my dress. I picked up the burgundy velvet dress I had bought on our earlier shopping trip. It was a skin-tight number, with spaghetti straps and scoop neck that showed enough cleavage to be sexy without showing too much.