Belonging: Book Two in The Everett Gaming Series

by Drew Sera

  “I know. It kills me. Fucking kills me that she’s scared of being beaten. Fucking makes me sick.”

  He was looking out the window as I started our drive back to the office. We began brainstorming of things we wanted from the relationship. It was something that Anthony and I both needed to give some serious thought too. We decided to go to my office when we got upstairs to begin seriously discussing this. Anthony was free all afternoon and I had the Cheng conference call at 4:30.

  “She needs clear cut direction. That’s the only way she won’t worry or doubt herself. If she knows what we expect, her confidence will grow because she’ll know she’s doing what we’ve asked,” I said to him in the elevator.

  “I agree. And we need to tell her. Often,” he added as we headed towards my office.

  I was trying to think of where to begin with Sydney. Times when I’ve helped other Doms and subs, I’ve observed them and have known what they are looking to accomplish. With Sydney, it was all about Anthony and I. He and I needed to voice what we wanted. And that was the hard part. This was new to me and I barely came to realize that Anthony and I love her. She’s not just a play partner or a partner to scene with. This was a young woman who captured my heart and my best friend’s heart. We had to nurture our special relationship with her.

  “Leslie, Anthony and I are not to be disturbed.” I stopped in mid stride and told Leslie to let me know if Matt, Gina or Sydney calls.

  “Yes, Mr. Everett.”

  I shut the door and Anthony sat down on the couch and I took up the smaller couch across from him.

  “Where do we begin, Col?”

  “Well, let’s go over some basics.”

  I grabbed a notepad and made two columns: one for me and one for Anthony. I began to write some basic elements or characteristics to D/s relationships. I stopped writing and looked up at him. “Anth, you and I have to be completely honest. Too much is at stake.”

  “I understand.” His eyes didn’t falter and he looked confident that he’d be able to be honest with what he wanted.

  “Okay, what are your thoughts regarding when we get home from work?” I asked him.

  “I like coming home to her naked and kneeling on the floor. Legs spread slightly. But I don’t want her looking down. Ever,” he said and leaned forward.

  “Agreed. I love going home finding her waiting for us, but I have to see her eyes. I don’t want her looking down either.”

  Good, so we were on the same page with that. I knew there would be things that he and I won’t be on the same page with and that’s okay too, we just need to make this info clear to Sydney. Anthony and I shared many of the same interest when it came to the D/s dynamics. I knew there wouldn’t be much that he and I would disagree on. And maybe that’s why he and I were able to have gone on so long co-topping together. We both got off on the same kinky shit and felt confident and comfortable with whom we were.

  Our phones buzzed and grabbed our attention. It was a text from Matt saying Sydney was home and was safe. Thank goodness for Matt. Anthony and I both left our phones out just in case Sydney needed us.

  “Sleeping arrangements. What are your thoughts on that?” I sat back and thought about what I wanted. I wanted her in my arms every night. I didn’t mind if Anthony was on the other side of her. I just had to have her within touching distance.

  “I want to be in bed with her each night. Naked. I’m not sleeping in restrictive pajamas. I’m a man and not ashamed of my dick embarrassing me. If I want to roll her over and bury myself in her, I want her to be right there naked.”

  I nodded and told him we were on the same page. We decided that the three of us would all sleep in the same bed with Sydney between us. She’d be naked, unless she was sick. We also conversed about moving to the upstairs room again. She has spent her entire time in the downstairs guest room, but it wasn’t personal. The downstairs room was a training room for Doms and subs. Sydney was more than a sub I was training.

  She was everything.

  We had decided the other night that my current room upstairs would become “our” room. We’d redecorate and get new bed and bath linens. I was very serious about creating that room as our room. Each of us needed to have input to make it our own.

  As we were discussing our room, we both agreed that none of us would ever go to bed angry or with something on our chest. Sydney needed to understand that too. We also agreed that Sydney needed a space or room of her own. She has been ripped from her home and has been in my home for over a month now. She needed a little space of her own to go and write or read if she wanted. There was an empty bedroom upstairs that was close to the same size of the guest room downstairs but no sitting room. She could use that one.

  “Clothes. What would you prefer her to be in during the day?” I asked him.

  “I want her in clothes while you and I are at work. She will be alone and I think she’d feel vulnerable if she was naked all day and alone. Right now, it’d be too much for her to be alone and vulnerable all day.”

  I agreed. It was almost scary how much Anthony and I were on the same page regarding everything so far. We agreed that each morning Sydney would make us breakfast, coffee and would eat with us. Anthony and I swore to not bring work to any meal and he and I would do our damnedest to leave work at work. Sydney needed and deserved our attention after being alone all day.

  “Any personal care preference, Anth? Showers? Grooming preferences?”

  “I think we’re going to get into the habit of the three of us showering together in the mornings and I love the evening baths. I think it relaxes her and that’s important. But if you and her decide to take a shower, I don’t mind.”

  My heart rate slowed and calmed when we talked about that. We talked about the sex aspect. I needed to know where he stood on the topic of sex. Would he want all the sex to include the three of us always or would he want any separate sex with her? After a lengthy conversation we agreed that most of our sex is going to include all three of us. Anthony and I both preferred it that way. However, we were both comfortable enough that we could have sex individually with her. But again, I didn’t think that would come up much because of our preference with co-topping, so sex would naturally include the three of us.

  “Col, I want her pussy bare.”

  I looked up at him and smiled. Anthony loves clean shaved pussies. He loved putting his head between a woman’s legs as much as I love giving a woman anal sex.

  “That’s fine, Anth. We will put it down as one of her daily chores. Making breakfast, shaving pussy.” I wrote it down and we shared a laugh over it. “I think we need to give her a list of things to accomplish each day. She would do well with lists. And if we’re giving her a list of things to do, then you and I need to be consistent and make sure she’s doing it. Which means, we have to think of repercussions.”

  I set my pen down and looked at him. This was a heavy topic and I knew he felt as I did on the topic. Neither of us wanted to lay a finger on her in a punishment sense. We agreed though that if one of us needed to punish her, then the other would support it and that we wouldn’t play Good Dom/Bad Dom.

  “So punishments. We need to think of something, Anth. She needs to know the consequences.”

  He leaned back on the couch and folded his arms behind his head. “I won’t strike her for punishment. I’ll spank that pretty ass during play or flog her for erotic pleasure, but I won’t scold her and then apply physical pain.” He held his gaze on mine. “You and I will go head to head if you want to do that.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Anthony. You think I’d want to do that? You’re out of your fucking mind…no, we aren’t going to do that. We’re not doing anything that would remind her of Howard.”

  “It’s got to be something of meaning though.”

  “Maybe we’ll give her a larger butt plug.” I hardened at the image of her sitting naked in the great room with a huge plug up that ass.

  “Nice, Col. What if we take something negat
ive from her past, maybe something from a nightmare and push her to work through her fear. She’s scared of losing sight during a scene. What if we put a fluffy blindfold on her, say for ten minutes or so? But during that time, you and I are with her holding onto to her so she knows she’s safe. Then maybe it’d turn something negative into something positive for her. Maybe something along those lines.”

  He was definitely onto something with that. He and I would work on ideas for punishment to meet the infraction and maybe this was something he and I could speak to Chris about. We decided that we’d have to play the punishments by ear and deal with it as it came up. I doubted we’d run into many issues with her though.

  “Health issues and concerns?” I asked him.

  “Anytime she’s sick or has a doctor’s appointment, we both go. We both need to be at the appointments with Chris.”

  “Agreed. Condoms?”

  Anthony and I both had vasectomies but aside from that, we knew Sydney couldn’t have kids. From the exams Sydney has had, we’ve discovered the damage from Howard took her chance away to have kids. Matt explained that her cervix was severely scarred and damaged. I remember that sad conversation as Anthony and I stood by Sydney’s side while Matt delivered that news. Matt explained in graphic detail what a body physically goes through during forced sex. It’s a conversation I’ll never forget and was reminded of it as Anthony and I sat discussing condoms. I knew that Sydney knew and understood she couldn’t have kids because of the internal damage.

  Since Anthony and I were both Masters and Irons, we were required to be tested monthly. But now that the three of us were in a closed V, condoms wouldn’t be necessary. Anthony and I couldn’t even remember the last time either of us had sex without condoms. I couldn’t wait to feel her without a condom, provided she was okay with it. She wasn’t going to be voiceless in this relationship. She’s spent the last seven years without a voice and that kind of relationship was behind her.

  We wouldn’t keep secrets. The three of us would be open books. Anthony and I decided that we’d alternate on which one of us would be the main Dom on nights we went to Irons. We discussed starting to take her into the playroom at home. It was a decent sized playroom opposite the guest room she had been staying in.

  “What are you looking forward to mostly doing with her in the playroom or at Irons?”

  Anthony laughed and leaned forward over his knees. “What do I want to do with her the most? Everything. I can’t wait to flog her and take her into subspace or put her over my knee and spank that ass while I’ve got a plug buried in it. Eventually maybe get her up on that cross. I can let go of my love of rope for her. It’ll be too much for her and I recognize that, Col. Especially right now. But fuck, I’d love to see her wrapped up in soft rope.”

  “Yeah, that will be quite the sight. We’ll get there. There will be progress and relapses. But we’ll get there.”

  “I know, Col. It’s the journey, not the destination.”

  We had made a ton of progress and both of us felt better that we were able to go over this. I tried to keep to myself in my office for the rest of the afternoon. Despite having made so much progress with Anthony this afternoon, I was unsettled about what happened with Sydney this morning. I had sent her a few texts and had responses to most of them except I hadn’t seen a text from her in the past hour. I was growing worried, though I knew that she was probably fine. Actually, I didn’t know that she was fine. Worry and concern rolled through my body and I got up and went to Anthony’s office.

  Mitch and James were in there talking financials. When I walked in Mitch and James looked at their watches. They probably were worried that they were late for our 4:30 meeting. It wasn’t even 4:00 yet. Anthony knew Sydney was on my mind and I asked him to come to my office when he was done.

  “We’re done. We’ll go. We’ll meet you in the conference room at 4:30,” Mitch said as he and James left.

  I watched them walk out of the room and then turned to Anthony.

  “Why don’t you head home? I’m worried about her.”

  Anthony nodded and was pulling his suit jacket on. He knew our conference call could easily go past five. I walked Anthony to the elevator and then headed back to my office to get ready for the conference call. I was worried sick now. I hadn’t had a text response from Sydney during the past hour and hadn’t answered the few calls I placed to her or to the house phone. She could be outside writing, though it was dark out now. Anthony was on his way. I knew he’d fill me in once he got home.

  Chapter 33

  Tuesday, December 3rd

  Anthony

  AG: Sunshine, I’m headed home. Can’t wait to see you and hold you. ;)

  I hit send and headed home. I thought I might get a response from her, but nothing came over. Maybe she was napping. She’s so tired. As I drove home, I thought about Christmas at my cabin this year with Sydney. We were going to make this the best Christmas ever for Sydney.

  I continued to think of Sydney and how she was so different from other women. She meant more to me than anyone did and she was submissive. I could run wild. Almost.

  There were some things that I absolutely loved but wasn’t sure if those desires would ever see the light of day with Sydney. Rope play was one. I loved wrapping up a sub in rope and playing with her. I also tended to like rough play. Hair tugging, down on the ground, rougher more primal sex. I was pretty sure that at this point I was going to shelve those desires, for now and I was okay with that.

  Thoughts of rope play reminded me that Blake’s auction was coming up. I usually offer up an evening to the highest bidder to either teach them rope patterns or tie them up. I looked forward to it each year because it was usually the Dommes who coughed up the money to be bound. To be honest, I really didn’t want to do it this year. We had Sydney and Colin and I swore we would go into this completely faithful to Sydney. This was a closed V and Colin wasn’t going to train anyone else nor would we play with anyone else. Neither of us wanted a thing to do with another woman. Just Sydney.

  I could give up playing with rope for her. Easily.

  My hard limit of having my scar touched went out the window with Sydney. She could touch me however she wanted and I’d be fine with it. I’d be okay with her grabbing onto me roughly too. Last night in Irons she had fistfuls of my chest hair and left some tiny fingernail marks on my chest. I liked the way it looked and felt. I’d tread carefully around that subject with her. I’m not certain how the idea or notion that someone likes to be handled roughly would sit with Sydney.

  When I pulled into the driveway and parked behind where Colin’s BMW was parked, I couldn’t help but notice that the house seemed darker than usual. All the exterior lights were on but I didn’t see the soft glow of light from inside. This caused my pulse to jump because I know that Sydney hates the dark.

  I stepped inside to near darkness in the entryway. There was a hall light on in the direction of Sydney’s room and I could tell some lights were on in the kitchen. Where was my sunshine?

  I started to worry some and tossed my suit jacket on the entry table and flipped on the entryway light. I turned as I unbuttoned my shirt at the cuffs, loosened my tie and undid the top few buttons as I took a few steps.

  “Sydney, sunshine. I’m…home.” My eyes fell onto Sydney.

  Kneeling a short distance away was our naked fragile kitten with her head downward. I frowned at her head being down and walked towards her. I flipped additional lights on and as I got closer, I saw that her shoulders were shaking. Her hands were on her thighs, palms up but her hands were shaking too.

  What the fuck?

  I quickened my pace to her and crouched down in front of her. I took hold of her chin and tilted it up so I could look in her eyes. She kept her eyes downward.

  “Eyes, sunshine.”

  Slowly, she brought her eyes up and it broke my heart. I felt like I was being punched in the stomach.

  “Sunshine, sweetheart, talk to me.” Her eye
s dropped again and I took hold of her chin. “No, I don’t want you to look away. Look at me, Sydney,” I said firmly.

  Sydney shook and tears began to fall. I was scaring her. I needed to calm down. I shut my eyes and took a few deep breaths despite my heart being on the verge of pounding out of my chest.

  “Sunshine, why are you crying?”

  “Um…I…I was b-bad t-today. M-matt had to come over and b-bring me to you for l-lunch. I h-hurt my w-wrist and m-made you and Colin worry. And I didn’t f-fill out the p-paper. Colin k-kept it.”

  She reached down and pushed something on the floor towards me. A mother fucking belt. Did she think she was in trouble over today?

  “Sydney, what’s this for?”

  “T-to p-pun-punish me…f-for today. I bothered M-matt and didn’t finish the l-list. M-matt gave it to Colin.”

  Christ, she’s been waiting all afternoon for us to come home and punish her. I put my hand on the belt and slid it hard behind me and heard it bang against the wall. That fucking belt needed to be as far from us as possible. I nearly ripped my shirt off, pulled off my undershirt and scooped her up and held her on my lap. She was shaking badly and I could feel her skin had goose bumps on it. I leaned against the wall and kissed her head.

  “Sunshine, you weren’t bad. I don’t think there is a bad bone in your body.” I tried to calm her and continued to softly stroke her hair as I tried to warm her up. “You aren’t in trouble and you’re not going to get punished. You’ll never be punished with a belt.”

  I was feeling a mix of anger and agony. I remember how many times I was beat on with my step-father’s belt. I hadn’t given my upbringing much of a chance to creep back into my head until Sydney. Anger continued to build as I thought about being hit and then how angry I was that someone had instilled that fear and kind of pain in Sydney. I cared very much for her and the thought that she had been hurt with a belt as I had, wasn’t sitting well with me. My chest felt like it was exploding. Sydney had actually gone into a closet this afternoon and pulled out a belt and waited for one of us to arrive home to beat her. I felt myself start to breathe quicker and had to try to calm down. I pulled my phone out from my pocket and shot a text off to Colin.