Redemption

by Jaimie Roberts

  After dinner, I helped with the dishes, then we sat down and played cards for a while. I was trying to teach Jeremy how to play Twos and Eights. Remembering how Tyler and I used to play it, I looked up at her and she gave me a heart-stopping smile. The more she warmed to me, the more my heart soared and my hopes elevated.

  When it got to be around nine o’clock, Tyler instructed Jeremy to get ready for bed. He pouted, then he turned to me. “Will you read me a story?”

  Tyler’s eyes widened. I didn’t quite understand the meaning behind that, but I was determined to find out later.

  I looked down with a smile and offered him my hand. “Sure thing, grown-up.”

  Jeremy giggled again and led the way upstairs. Tyler was still looking a little out of sorts, and I hoped it wasn’t because she was angry about something or, worse still, at me.

  Once upstairs, Jeremy put his finger to his lips and crept in what must have been Tyler’s bedroom. He was there a few seconds and then he came out, giggling harder than ever.

  “Have you just done what I think you did?” Jeremy nodded. “Ah, grown-up, you’re going to get into a lot of trouble later.”

  Jeremy laughed and ran into his bedroom and bounced on his bed. “Can you read me The Gruffalo?”

  I smiled and sat down beside his bed. “Sure thing. I love that story.”

  “Me, too. Mommy reads me a story every night, but this one is my favorite.”

  Jeremy grabbed the book by his bed and handed it to me. Once I knew he was settled, I started reading. I tried my best to put on my best Gruffalo voice, but I wasn’t sure if I was doing it justice. Jeremy, however, laughed every time I did it, so I must have been doing something right.

  Once I finished, I gave Jeremy the book and he placed it back where he found it. “You’re funny. When will you come visit us again?”

  I bit my lip because I didn’t know how to answer that. The ball was entirely in Tyler’s court now. “I’m not sure, Jeremy. I hope it will be soon, though.”

  Jeremy pulled his covers up. “Me, too. Good night, Dean.”

  I leaned over, kissed his head, and stood up. “Good night, grown-up.”

  I waited until he turned over and shut his eyes before making my way back downstairs. I knew Tyler and I needed to talk, but I also knew she needed her space. Now that Jeremy was in the picture, things were obviously different. I needed to tread more carefully.

  Once I walked back into the living room, Tyler handed me another beer. “Do you want to sit outside with me for a while?”

  I smiled. “Sure.”

  Once we sat down, I turned to her. “Why did you look so shocked when Jeremy asked me to read to him?”

  Tyler sat back in her chair and cleared her throat. “He normally doesn’t let anyone read to him, except me. Even after all the years he knew Evan, he never once asked him.”

  After the kick in the gut from the mention of khaki man, I thought about it and smiled.

  Tyler looked at me and nudged me with her hand. “There’s no need to look all smug, Dean.”

  I shrugged and gave her a cheeky smile. “I can’t help it, Tyler. He is my son, after all.”

  Tyler’s smile disappeared and she looked at me seriously. “Yes, he is. And how do you feel about that?”

  I sighed. “Well, I won’t deny it was a shock, but you and I were always destined to get married and have children. Things haven’t worked out how I wanted them to, but shit happens, I guess.”

  Tyler sipped her refilled glass of wine and leaned back in her chair. “I was on the pill. I’m not sure if you remember, but I got sick with a stomach bug and was off work for a while. The midwife said it most probably happened then.” She sighed a little and looked over at me. “It’s funny, really. Once I got over the initial shock, I felt happy. I knew I would miss you, so the thought of having a part of you always with me made me feel better. I don’t know if that makes any sense.”

  I did remember that time. I also remember shouting at her in the office because she had been taking all that time off, but I was frustrated with not knowing what the hell was going on. I didn’t know about Jeremy at the time and it bugged me. I will never get over being such a shit to her.

  “It makes perfect sense. Any part of you that you can give me, I will accept with open arms. I think you already know that, though.” I sipped my beer and waited for her to say something.

  “Do you know I really haven’t got a clue what to do? I can’t think, my head’s fuzzy. I didn’t expect you to come back after—” She stopped and I could tell she was finding it hard.

  I placed my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me. “Tyler, I’m not expecting answers straight away. I’m not going to force you to think about what it is you want. I am here, though. I will be here for as long as you want me. But the one thing I must ask you is please don’t take Jeremy away from me now that I’ve found him. He needs me. I’m his father.”

  Tyler nodded vigorously. “I know. I would never do that to you. But you have to understand one thing. I kept Jeremy away from you because I’m frightened for him. You continued what your parents left behind. You associate with people who are dangerous, Dean. I can’t have that around my son. I also can’t have you putting your life at risk all the time. What if we get close to you and we get that dreaded phone call one day telling us you’ve been killed? What would that do to me? What would that do to Jeremy?”

  Laying my hand on hers, I stopped her. “I’ve already told you, Tyler. I will give it all up. Jeremy is more important than any of that shit. You’re more important. I go wherever you go.”

  Tyler smiled. “You will always follow me.”

  She was making a joke about me stalking her. I guess I deserved that. “You know that’s true. At least you can never say I give up easily. Not when it matters.”

  Tyler shook her head. “No, I guess not.” She looked down for a moment, then up at me again. “A part of me wants to let you in, but the other part is scared shitless, Dean. I don’t know what to expect. I’m still so torn, still so cut up over everything that’s happened. How do I move on?”

  Fuck, if that didn’t tear me up inside. I wanted to provide her with the answers she needed, but how did I begin to even make this right for her? How did I even start trying to take away the pain I caused?

  “I can’t lie to you and say I have all the answers, Tyler. I fucking wish I did, but I don’t. All I can say is I would do anything and everything it takes to make it right. I will never stop until I can. I love you, Tyler. And I promise you I will never let you down again. I mean that. I take my promises very seriously and will never promise anything unless I know I can keep that promise.”

  Tyler smiled resolutely and sighed. “I believe you will.”

  I grabbed her hand and looked her in the eye. “It will take time, but you will know instead of believe one day.”

  I grabbed my beer, downed it in one gulp, then got up. I was ready to leave, but Tyler looked shocked.

  “I can’t stay any longer, Tyler. If I stay, I’ll scoop you up in my arms and never leave. I don’t want to confuse Jeremy right now. He needs to get to know me more. He needs to know I’m not just a passing visitor.”

  Tyler nodded and got up with tears in her eyes. “When you were young, you waited for me. Now, as an adult, you’re waiting for your son. Thank you for understanding.”

  I moved towards her and placed my hand on her cheek. As before, she leaned in, closing her eyes. I leaned in and lightly kissed her on the mouth. I could tell Tyler wanted to deepen the kiss, but I couldn’t take it any further. If I did, I’d be lost. I had to be strong. There was someone else to think about now.

  Tyler’s breathing became harsh and it was so damn hard to pull away. It had been way too long since I felt what it was like to be inside her.

  “I have to go,” I breathed into her mouth.

  Tyler leaned her forehead against mine and nodded. Every part of me was screaming not to leave her, but she al
so needed to see the type of person I could be. The person she fell in love with all those years ago.

  I took her hand in mine and walked towards the front door. Once I opened it, I turned to her. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

  Tyler smiled and nodded. “I would like that. I also think Jeremy would never forgive me otherwise. Why don’t you ask Jimmy around? It’s supposed to be almost ten degrees hotter tomorrow. We can lounge by the pool and have a barbecue. I’ll also see if Tara wants to come.”

  I smiled. “Sounds great. How does one o’clock sound?”

  Tyler nodded. “That’s perfect.”

  I walked down the steps a little way and then turned. “Make sure you switch on the alarm when you get back inside.” I looked up to the place, then back at Tyler. “This house holds precious cargo.” I winked at her and she stood at the doorway with a big smile on her face. It was hard, but I was proud of myself for not giving into the gut-wrenching temptation Tyler always knew how to put in my way.

  My beautiful, sexy witch in high heels.

  Chapter 11

  Tyler

  How did Dean always have this knack of making me want him more than the air I breathed? He held off when I was young and wanted him. Now he’s holding off because of his son and…oh, my god…that turned me on! I wanted him so much, the ache was a constant throb. The only thing that quelled it a little was when I went upstairs to take my make-up off. What I saw made all sorts of fire rage inside of me.

  “Oh, my god!”

  I heard a giggle, so I shot into the hall just in time to find Jeremy running back towards his room. I ran after him and once I was inside his bedroom, Jeremy was hiding under the covers, giggling. I couldn’t help but smile.

  “Did you have something to do with this?” I held the toilet paper I managed to snatch off the holder just before I ran after Jeremy. Other than the constant shaking from his laughter, he didn’t move. “Jeremy, look at me when I’m talking to you.”

  Very slowly, he pulled the covers off his face and looked at me, only one eye showing. The other eye was still safely tucked under the covers. I doubted that would save him, though.

  I held up the toilet paper. “Did you turn my toilet roll the wrong way?” And it was the wrong way. He had to be aware of that.

  Jeremy gave me his best What? Me? look. He had an art to it.

  “Did Dean put you up to this?” Jeremy pursed his lips, trying to hide his smile. He shook his head. “Don’t you lie to me, Jeremy.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  That was it. I raced over there, dropped the toilet paper, and tickled him. Jeremy screamed and squealed, giggling. He was always giggling and I loved it. It made me feel like he was a happy child.

  Once we both calmed a little, I ruffled his hair. “Don’t do that again.” Boy, did I have a bone to pick with Dean tomorrow.

  “You were funny, Mommy.” He smiled brightly and my chest tightened. How could I even begin to act put out when he smiled at me like that.

  “Well, I’m glad I could entertain you.”

  Jeremy giggled again and lay down in his bed. “Are you going to see Dean again?”

  I nodded with a smile. “Yes, we’re seeing him tomorrow. Hopefully, you’ll get to meet his friend Jimmy, too. I will also ring Tara and see if she wants to come around.”

  Jeremy beamed. “Good. I like Dean. Do you like Dean, Mommy?”

  I smiled and stroked his hair. “Yes, I like Dean. I like him very much.”

  *****

  The next day, there was a ring on the doorbell. Jeremy jumped up, thinking it was Dean, but I had to tell him to hold his horses. They all weren’t due for another three hours yet. When I rang and asked Tara, she was thrilled. It would seem that she and Jimmy had been joined at the hip ever since he came back.

  I peeped through the keyhole and someone was standing there holding a big bunch of roses.

  “Who is it, Mommy?”

  I opened the door. A man with glasses greeted me with a big smile. “I have a delivery for Miss Florentino.”

  I nodded. “That’s me.”

  He held a clipboard out to me. “Can you sign here?”

  I did and he handed me the flowers. “Have a good day, ma’am.”

  “Thank you. You, too.” I shut the door behind me and peeked inside the bouquet to find a note.

  “Who got you those, Mommy?”

  I sat down on the sofa. “I’m not sure. I guess we’ll find out in a bit, won’t we?” I had an inkling who they would be from, so I opened the card straight away. Sure enough, they were from Dean.

  Tyler,

  I always said you were the type of girl who deserved flowers every day, so here you go. Call this day one of the rest of your life.

  If you’ll have me, I promise to make you the happiest woman alive. I can’t wait to see you and Jeremy later. Make sure he knows that for me.

  All my love,

  Dean

  I tried my best not to cry, but it was hard. Jeremy was still looking at me expectantly.

  “They’re from Dean. He says to make sure I tell you he’s looking forward to seeing you later.”

  “Are you crying again, Mommy?”

  I wasn’t, but it was close. “I’m fine, darling. Don’t worry.”

  Jeremy shrugged. “I won’t if they’re happy tears. Are they happy tears?”

  I nodded. “Yes, they are.”

  “Does Dean want to marry you? Because only husbands buy wives flowers.”

  I laughed. “Well, that’s not entirely true, Jeremy. Sometimes people buy other people flowers to say thank you, or I love you, or even if there has been a loss of some sort.”

  Jeremy’s forehead crinkled a little. “So, why is Dean sending flowers?”

  Well, this was awkward. “Erm, I guess it’s because we’ve known each other a very, very long time. He has always been very special to me.”

  Jeremy kicked his leg up and down. “Do you love him?”

  I couldn’t lie to him. Love could be said in so many ways with so many different meanings. “Yes, I do. We have always been very close.”

  “You’re not going to send him away like Evan, are you?”

  I felt the guilt come. I had been through this conversation with Jeremy in regards to Evan. I explained that we were still friends, but we would not see each other like we used to anymore. He took it rather well, despite the fact he had kind of known him all his life, but hearing him now made me think he was hiding his true feelings.

  “I know I’ve asked you this before, but are you upset over Evan not being around as much?”

  Jeremy shrugged. “I like Evan. He’s nice, but he’s not my daddy.”

  I nodded. I always made sure he knew that. “Yes, you’re right. He’s not your daddy.”

  “I like Dean. He’s funny.” He giggled again, like he remembered something. “When is he coming?”

  I looked at my watch. “It will be another three hours yet. We have to go to the store to get some meat for the barbecue.”

  “Can I have beef burgers?”

  I nodded. “Of course.”

  “And hot dogs?”

  I nodded again. “We can have lots of things.”

  Jeremy went running around, pretending he was an airplane, so I took that as my cue to put the flowers in some water and get ready for the store. Jeremy was eager to go because it meant he could goad me into picking out more things than I wanted or needed. Since having Jeremy, I think my shopping has doubled. He was a hungry boy with a sweet tooth, but he was healthy and happy. That was the main thing…and all I could ask for.

  Once we were back from the shopping, I got Jeremy involved to help me put all the items away. We sat down afterwards and played one of his favorite learning games. Considering he wasn’t in school yet, I wanted to educate his mind, but also make it as fun as possible. Children’s brains were like sponges at his age. They absorbed everything and kept it there. I just wanted to make sure he was
as ready as he could be once he started school.

  Afterwards, I got all the meats, plates, cutlery, everything ready and set it all down on the kitchen island. Once it got close to one o’clock, I heard the door ring. Jeremy jumped and squealed as he ran for it.

  “Hold your horses, Jeremy. We need to make sure who it is first.”

  Dean’s voice suddenly echoed through the door, making me jump, “She’s right, grown-up. Never answer the door without seeing who it is first!”

  Jeremy giggled, jumping up and down. His enthusiasm was infectious. Once I opened the door, all three of them were standing there. Dean leaned towards Jeremy and ruffled his hair. “And never answer the door by yourself, okay? Mommy needs to be with you all the time. It’s important to keep you safe.”

  Jeremy nodded, but saw that Dean was standing there, holding something behind his back. “What have you got behind your back?”

  Dean raised his eyebrow. “Ah, you mean this?” He threw his arm forward and in his hand was the latest action man Jeremy had been bugging me to get him for the last couple of weeks.

  Jeremy squealed, jumped up and down, and grabbed the toy.

  “What do you say, Jeremy?”

  He looked up at me with his bright blue eyes before looking at Dean. “Thank you!” He rushed into Dean’s arms and gave him a big hug. It was hard to stop the tears.

  Motioning them all inside, Jimmy gave me a kiss on the cheek and so did Tara. “Thanks for inviting us. We’ve been told you’re doing a barbecue?” Jimmy stood there, his eyebrow cocked.

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  Jimmy nodded. “If you don’t mind, Dean and I will do it. That way, you ladies can gossip by the pool with a glass of wine. I’m sure you’ll have plenty to talk about.” He gave Tara a cheeky smile.

  Tara laughed and affectionately placed her hand on Jimmy’s chest. “You better take him up on his offer, Tyler. They don’t make men like this anymore.”