by Lori Foster
“This sounds like a heavy-duty brush-off, Olivia. Is it?”
How could she answer that? How could she possibly explain? She heard him curse, then curse again. “I’ll come on over now.”
“What?” She didn’t want him in her apartment; she wasn’t ready to face him. Her night in the hospital had left her looking wan and feeling lifeless. She’d planned to shower and clean up and meet him somewhere. “Why don’t we just do lunch?”
“To hell with that. If we need to talk, we’ll talk now. Whatever it is you’ve got planned, I’d rather get it over with. I’ll be there in half an hour.” He hung up and Olivia sank back onto the couch.
Half an hour to prepare herself. It wasn’t much time, but then, from the moment Tony had propositioned her, there hadn’t been enough time. She didn’t know if a lifetime would be enough.
*
TONY RAPPED SHARPLY on the door, feeling his frustration ready to explode. The other doors opened, but this time he didn’t even look to see who was watching him. He’d almost gotten used to her nosy neighbors who appeared each and every time he came to pick her up. But he was in no mood to be polite right now.
He slammed his fist on the door. “Open up, Olivia.”
It didn’t matter to him that his behavior was somewhat juvenile. She was dumping him, he was sure of it. Damn her. How could she make a decision like this, when he hadn’t even made up his own mind about things? He’d thought they were getting closer, thought they might have been able to work through all the difficulties. He’d considered the possibility of offering her a compromise….
But no. She was done giving him time… He raised his hand to bang on the door again, just as it swung in. There stood Olivia.
He opened his mouth, but in the next instant whatever acerbic comment he might have made was forgotten. She looked awful—pale and drawn and tired. Concern immediately replaced all his other emotions. He pushed his way in, forcing her back, closing the door on the curious gazes of her neighbors.
“Olivia?” He caught her shoulders in his hands. “Are you all right, honey?”
“I’m fine.” She tried to inch away from him, and he felt his anger renewed. He knew he had to get control of himself. He’d never been concerned with that before. He rarely lost his temper, and never with a woman. He’d never had a relationship with a woman outside the family that had warranted that much emotion. With Olivia, though, he was off balance, bombarded with unique feelings and apprehensions.
He bent to meet her at eye level. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
She twined her fingers together. “This is very difficult for me. I’m still in shock myself. But… I wanted you to know as soon as possible.”
This didn’t sound like a rehearsed brush-off. He dropped his hands, but when she staggered slightly, he caught her arm and led her to her couch. “Here, sit down.”
She did, and he sat right next to her. “Now just tell me whatever it is. Are you sick?”
“I… I was. Last night.” He started to question her, but she said quickly, “And I’m okay now. I promise. It’s just that…” Her eyes were huge and dark and filled with uncertainty. Then a small smile flitted over her lips, and she covered her mouth with one trembling hand and whispered, “I’m pregnant.”
Tony blinked. Of all the things he’d expected, all the horrible words he imagined… Elation welled, burst. He gave a shout, watching as Olivia blinked back tears, then pulled her close for a hug, rocking her and trying to contain himself. “Don’t cry, sweetheart, it’ll be all right. I promise.”
She was afraid, he understood that now. And he didn’t blame her. It was a scary thing to have a baby, but especially so for her, a woman who until recently had never had any dealings with children at all.
Though she was nearly as tall as he, and, as he’d pointed out to her in one of his less auspicious moments, very sturdy, she felt small and frail. He cradled her close, and then she started to cry in earnest. Could it be she didn’t want their time to end? He tipped her chin up and watched as she hiccuped, then wiped her eyes with her fist.
He knew there was a ridiculously tender smile on his face, but he couldn’t help himself. She was so sweet, so vulnerable. And then she said in a surprisingly steady tone, “You can’t have it.”
He tilted his head. “What?”
“You can’t have my baby.”
He searched her face as realization dawned. She couldn’t possibly mean what it had sounded like. “We can discuss—”
“No.” She came to her feet, one hand braced on the arm of the couch as if to steady herself. “I have to explain something to you, Tony. When I agreed to your plan, it was because I believed I couldn’t have children. When I was very young, I lost an ovary due to a condition called PCO, polycystic ovaries. My periods have never been normal, or even close to regular, and so I didn’t think I could conceive. I believed I could make love with you without any risk of pregnancy, otherwise I never would have agreed to give you the baby.”
He was frozen with shock, what she was saying too unbelievable to accept. “Then why…?”
She laughed harshly, and again covered her mouth. “Look at yourself. You’re a very desirable man. You’d never shown any interest in me before, and most of my reasoning was true. I wanted to know what lovemaking was all about, with a man I admired and could trust.”
“You lied to me?”
She choked on a sob. “Yes.”
Slowly, feeling as if his body wouldn’t function properly, Tony came to his feet. She hadn’t dressed today as she normally did. Today she was wearing a long casual caftan, and her feet were bare; her hair was brushed but unstyled. Every time he thought he’d figured her out, she changed.
And this change was killing him.
“You used me for sex.”
Wrapping her arms around her middle, she nodded. “I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry?” His voice had risen to a shout, and she flinched. It hit him then: she was pregnant. With his baby. He didn’t want to upset her, not knowing what it might do to the baby, and he fought hard to regain some calm. “This is why you kept telling me you might not conceive.”
“Yes.”
“And why you insisted on the two-week time period.”
Again, she said only, “Yes.”
“But everything backfired on you. Because you are pregnant?”
“I am. It’s definite.” Her lips trembled when she drew in a deep breath. “I wouldn’t have realized it on my own for some time yet, but then I got…sick, and the doctor did a test, an accurate test, and now I know I’m going to have a baby.”
His jaw tightened. “Must have been one hell of a shock for you.”
Instinctively she placed her hand on her belly. “It was.” And there was that small smile again, as if she was glad, but trying desperately to keep her happiness to herself.
“So,” he asked, not really wanting to, but having to know, “how do I fit into all this? It is my baby, too.”
She turned away and walked to an end table, straightening a lamp shade, flicking at a speck of dust. He looked around and realized he hated her apartment. It was so like the business persona she presented to the world—detached, immaculate, no softness or giving anywhere. The place could have been empty and not seemed any less cold.
“I want you to take part in everything, if you want to.”
Barking a rough laugh, he caught her shoulder and turned her back to face him. “If I want to?” Her eyes opened wide and he almost shook her. “I was the one who wanted the baby, not you! You had the grand five-year plan, remember?”
Hands curled into fists, she jerked away. “Only because I didn’t think I could have a baby! But I can, and I want this one.”
“What about work? How are you going to raise a baby by yourself?” He knew he was being unfair, asking her questions she couldn’t possibly have found the answers to yet, but at the moment, it didn’t matter. He wanted to hurt her just as she’d hurt him.
And judging by the stricken look on her face, he had.
He tilted his head back and closed his eyes, silently counting to ten. Then he faced her. “Olivia, be reasonable. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be a single parent?”
“I suppose I’ll find out, won’t I?”
He almost laughed, she looked so much like herself, digging in, ready to do battle. He rubbed his chin and studied her. “I could take you to court, you know? I can provide for the baby in a way you never could. I can give him things, my time and attention…”
“What if it’s a girl?”
“You don’t remember me telling you it wouldn’t matter? I thought I was clear on that.”
Abruptly she dropped back onto the couch, her face in her hands. “Don’t do this, Tony. Don’t make things more difficult for me. Please!”
His chest hurt, seeing her look so defeated. All her bravado had just vanished in a heartbeat. He sat beside her and awkwardly tried to find the right words. “I will be a part of the baby’s life, Olivia.”
She jerked around to face him, her expression anxious and fierce. “Of course you will be! I wouldn’t keep you from him. Or her, or…” She paused, and then grinned past her tears. “Oh, Tony, I’m having a baby!”
She was crying and laughing, and he couldn’t help but hug her to him. She started babbling, her words almost indistinguishable mingled as they were with her sobs.
Keeping her face close to his chest, she said, “I never, ever thought this was possible. And I swear, I’ll be a good mother. I didn’t mean for this to happen, and I know it wasn’t what you wanted. It wasn’t even what I wanted. But I won’t tie you down. I promise. You can see the baby whenever you want, be as close to it as you want. Your life doesn’t have to change, just because I want to remain the baby’s mother. I’ll figure out some way to keep my business going and take care of the baby, too. And you’ll be the father, so you can—”
“Watch the baby for you while you go on about your business?” They had agreed the baby would be his, but now she planned to keep the baby, and use him again to make it easier on herself? He leaned back, holding her away from him.
She swallowed in the face of his renewed anger. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”
“No? But you’re seeing yourself with only half a problem, right? After all, I can support you both while you go about your plans to expand the business. And whenever the baby is inconvenient, I’ll be a built-in babysitter. How could I ever refuse, when I’d wanted this child so much?”
She seemed to go perfectly still, not breathing, not moving so much as an eyelash. Then a placid, business smile came to her mouth, and he didn’t like it, didn’t like the way she’d pulled herself together and back into that protective shell of hers. It was the way she always looked during a business meeting, the look that had led him to believe she had no sensitivities, no vulnerabilities. He knew now that it was a sham.
Her back was very straight, her chin lifted when she said, “You thought I’d start using you that way? Not at all. I need nothing from you. I’ve never needed anything from anyone. The baby and I will be just fine.”
“Olivia…”
“I think you should go now.”
“We’re not through talking.”
“Yes, we are. I’ve told you all I have to tell you. Whether or not you choose to take part in the baby’s life is up to you now.”
He glared at her, his jaw so tight it ached. “You know damn good and well I want this baby.”
“Fine.” She stood, managing to look somehow regal and serene despite her obvious fatigue and whatever illness had plagued her. “When he or she is born, I’ll let you know.”
Then she went to the door and opened it, waiting for him to leave.
And he did, only because he was so angry, he was afraid he’d upset her again if he stayed, and he couldn’t believe that would be good for the baby. Feeling numb and sick to his stomach, he stomped out to his car and then sat there. Damn her, she’d thrown him for a loop this time.
He realized there was still so much he didn’t know about her—and despite everything, he wanted to know. She’d actually had some sort of surgery when she was young that made her believe she couldn’t get pregnant.
And she’d pretended otherwise just so she could make love with him.
It seemed absurd, especially now that she’d been trapped by her own ridiculous plan. But he wasn’t giving up yet. Olivia always wanted to run things, in business and in private. It was part of her nature to take charge and make all the decisions. She was pushy and arrogant and in the general course of things, very fair-minded.
But not this time.
Damn, he knew he should have stuck to his original plan. He should never have gotten involved on a personal level with Olivia Anderson. He hadn’t gotten the baby he wanted so badly; he hadn’t gotten anything at all.
Nothing except a broken heart.
CHAPTER NINE
“SO WHEN ARE you going to marry her?”
Slowly, wishing he didn’t have to deal with this right now, Tony laid his papers aside. “I’m not.”
John placed both palms on his desk and leaned forward to glare at him. “And why the hell not? She’s perfect for you.”
Perfect? Nothing felt perfect. It had been two weeks since he’d seen Olivia. He’d tried dropping in on her shops a couple of times, hoping to appear casual about seeing her since his pride was still bruised. He would have conjured up a business excuse, but in truth, he’d half hoped that seeing him again would give her a change of heart, that she would want him again, even though she was pregnant. But she hadn’t been there.
He’d called her once or twice, but each time he’d gotten her voicemail. No doubt she was busy organizing things for the new shop she would open.
And that thought made him angry all over again.
He glanced up at John, then back to his desk full of files, trying subtly to give the hint that he was busy. “It’s none of your business, John.”
“You’ve been moping around long enough. Hell, Mom’s worried about you, Kate’s worried about you. Why don’t you just accept the inevitable and admit you love her?”
“Because she lied to me, that’s why!” He hadn’t meant to shout, but he’d had no one to talk to, and he was ready to explode with the effort of trying to understand Olivia and his own feelings.
John straightened, looking startled by Tony’s display of temper. “Lied to you about what?”
Wishing he’d kept his mouth shut now, Tony shook his head. “Why don’t you mind your own business?”
Instead John propped a hip against the desk. “Was it a big lie, or just a little lie? Now don’t glare at me. I’m trying to help.”
“If you want to help, find me a woman as perfect as Lisa.”
A look of stunned disbelief crossed John’s face, then he burst into hysterical laughter. “Lisa? Perfect? You’ve got to be kidding.”
“She’s perfect for you. The two of you never fight. And I know damn well she’d never lie to you.”
“We fight all the time, actually. I enjoy it. And it gives me a good excuse to make up to her.” He winked, which confounded Tony. “As far as lying… Lisa would never lie to me. But I lied to her once, and it was a doozy.”
Tony laid aside the file he’d just picked up and stared. “When was this?”
“Before we were married. Almost ruined things, and that’s a fact. But Lisa, bless her heart, didn’t give up on me. She got madder than hell, then she schemed, and before I knew it, I was apologizing and begging her to marry me. As it turned out, she wasn’t so upset over what I’d lied about, as she was that I’d lied at all. Is that true with you and Livvy?”
Tony considered the question a moment. Was he mad that Olivia had used him for sex, or that she didn’t appear to want him now? He figured he could forgive her anything if she loved him, but… He shook his head, not really coming up with an answer. “I don’t suppose you’d
care to tell me what you lied to Lisa about?”
“Actually…no.” He grinned. “It’s history, and now I’d never lie to her about anything any more than I’d ever hurt her.”
“But you two fight?” Tony was intrigued by the idea; he’d always thought his brother had the perfect marriage.
“All the time. Hell, you know me, Tony. Did you really think anyone could live with me without losing their temper on occasion?”
“And Kate and Brian?”
“They’ve had their share of whoppers. Kate can be a real pain, you know that. And she claims Brian is far from perfect. If you love Olivia, it won’t matter.”
Tony narrowed his eyes, considering what John said, but the big difference was that Olivia didn’t appear to love him. “I don’t know.”
John slammed a palm on the desk. “I don’t get it! She’s a sexy lady. Smart. Sweet. The kids love her. The women love her.”
Tony ignored him, going back to his papers and pretending a great interest in them, even though his eyes wouldn’t seem to focus on a single line.
John crossed his arms over his chest and glared. “She is sexy, you know. Very sexy.”
The paper crumpled in Tony’s fist. He slanted his gaze up at his younger brother and asked in a growl, “Just what do you think you’re doing, noticing if she’s sexy or not?”
“Do I look blind? Olivia is one of those intriguing cool-on-the-outside, burning-up-on-the-inside kind of ladies. Every guy who looks at her knows it. It’s just that usually a guy’s too afraid to get close enough to her to see just how sexy she is. She can be damn formidable as I remember it. Of course, after you got her to soften up a bit, it’s more noticeable.”
“Oh, that’s just dandy.” She no longer wanted him, but he’d managed to show the world how appealing she was? He didn’t need to hear that.
“You don’t have to worry about me or Brian. You know we’re both well satisfied in our own marital bargains, but…”
“Brian, too?”
“He’s not blind, either, big brother.”
Tony threw the papers aside and shoved his chair back, then took an aggressive step toward John. He felt ready to chew nails, but John only shook his head.