Unspoken (The Woodlands)

by Jen Frederick

  Bo whispered in my ear. “Not the food kind of pie, honey.”

  I felt my body flush hot with embarrassment. Of course not that kind of pie. I felt like a fool.

  “Stop being an asswipe, Jerry.” Bo curled his arms protectively around me and pushed my head onto his shoulder. He kicked Jerry sharply in the leg.

  Jerry sputtered a few times and then managed to catch his breath. He wiped a few tears off his face. “Man, your face, AnnMarie, so innocently talking about liking pie.”

  Bo didn’t like this; I could feel him stiffen around me. I pressed my hand on his tense thigh to prevent him from kicking Jerry even harder this time.

  “Shut up, asshole.” The disgust in Gray’s voice was evident to everyone but Jerry, who looked bewildered that anyone would take offense to his story.

  “Just roasting Bo, man,” Jerry complained.

  Even Wilson, who had been the subject of hazing earlier, chimed in. “Not cool, bro, not cool.”

  “Why don’t we talk about something else,” Bo said, his voice as hard as his frame. Jerry was determined, however, to tell one more story, and I regretted egging him on. I hadn’t realized that Jerry wasn’t really an old friend, but someone who was eaten with jealousy over Bo’s exploits. This last story of Jerry’s, the one he was desperate to tell and had been building toward since he started, was the coup de grace. Whatever slight Bo had done to Jerry, imagined or real, Jerry had been waiting to repay him.

  “See, Bo here, with his love of bets and pie, couldn’t resist his buddy Noah’s bet that Bo here couldn’t fuck the entire drill team, all twenty-seven of them.” Jerry nodded affirmatively. “He fucked them all, some of them two at a time, his senior year.”

  I felt Bo’s arms tighten around me, afraid that I was going to jump off his lap screaming. Maybe I would have, before, but not now, after all we’d been through.

  “Yeah, I’d be a little leery, too, of what kind of things ol’ Baker’s carrying around on his person. Why don’t you come sit on me?” He patted his knee. It was a disgusting offer. I got the sense that the only reason Bo’s fist wasn’t in Jerry’s mouth was because I was in the way. But I didn’t want Bo to get upset. That would only feed into Jerry’s narcissistic plan. I relaxed against Bo and pulled up his arm snug against me, right under my breasts. His grip was almost painful. I kept one hand on his arm, and the other I dropped down to stroke the side of his thigh.

  “No, thanks. I’d rather sit here. At least I can be confident that Bo knows what he’s doing.”

  Jerry looked confused, as if he couldn’t believe I wasn’t totally disgusted by Bo’s whorish behavior.

  “But, did you hear me? He was called the Baker because he ate out all those girls,” Jerry repeated, more loudly now.

  I felt Bo starting to rise, getting ready to set me on my feet. His chest rumbled as if he were was about to growl something at Jerry, but I pushed back against him, hoping he’d stay seated. Getting a rise out of Bo was Jerry’s goal. Jerry wouldn’t like it half as well if Bo didn’t react, which was why Jerry’s stories had become increasingly disturbing.

  “Like I said, at least he’ll know what he’s doing tonight.”

  Jerry looked like he wanted to try again, like I hadn’t gotten his point, but Bo had had enough. He rose and gently set me aside and stalked over to Jerry’s chair. Bo hauled Jerry up by his collar and frog-marched him out the door. The rest of us followed behind him. I wasn’t sure what Bo was going to do, but nothing good could come from a private confrontation.

  Jerry was protesting loudly, but Bo’s friends formed a kind of circle around him so that other people couldn’t really see. For all they knew, we were helping a really drunk guy home. Jerry stopped struggling once he realized that no one was coming to his aid. Whether it was the liquor or just a dogged pursuit of his agenda, Jerry decided to renew his attacks on Bo’s reputation.

  “What’s the matter, Bo? You afraid your reputation’s going to scare off your girl? Did you see her face when I told her the entire drill team?”

  It was as if we weren’t even there. It was just Jerry and Bo.

  Gripping Bo’s arm, I swung around to face him, and he pushed Jerry aside. I placed both hands around his face. “He’s not worth it. You know who won this? You. You did before he ever showed up. He’s eaten up inside with jealousy. His life must suck a thousand times worse than a Hoover vacuum because no happy guy tries this act without feeling so insecure that he hates himself for it in the morning. I bet he can’t even look in the mirror without disgust. You’ve won, Bo, or you wouldn’t even be a target. So walk away. Right now. Walk away with me,” I begged.

  BO

  I LET AM HOLD ME EVEN though I could have broken away at any moment. In a flash I realized that this moment, more than any, would determine my future, because this was my choice, my decision. It wasn’t my father being a shithead or my mother being victimized. This was all on me. Would I answer every provocation with my fists, or would I employ that self-control I had supposedly learned? I forced my hands to unclench and AM grabbed on and lifted them to press them against her lips. I looked at her when I said the words.

  “Not worth it.”

  “What’s that, Baker?” Jerry taunted.

  “You aren’t worth the effort,” I said loudly.

  “Puritan, you’ve always been sick in the head,” I heard Gray say. He was backed up by murmurs of agreement from my other friends. Jerry Purdy wasn’t going to have an easy time of it when he returned to base. There were a thousand little things that the other guys could do to make his life miserable, and he had to know it. There was a scuffling sound but I paid no attention.

  AM’s shining smile washed away the tension and filled me up. As I leaned in for a kiss, she glanced past me and her smile turned to a grimace before she shouted at me. I sensed him before I felt him, and twisted on the balls of my feet. He flew past me, and I gave him an extra push, which propelled him into the garbage dumpster. His body struck the metal with a loud clang.

  “You ripped my fucking shirt,” he bellowed. Facing him, I could see the flush of inebriation riding high on his cheekbones. His pupils were pinpoints. Maybe Jerry wasn’t drunk; maybe he was high. I swung AM behind me, and I could feel the boys close ranks. “This was my favorite t-shirt, you asshole.”

  I turned my back on him, not just to avoid the spittle-laced curses, but to put this day to bed. I grabbed AM and pulled her into my arms.

  “Still with me?”

  “Like glue, baby.”

  “I thought I was Thor.” I nuzzled her hair, filling my lungs with the fresh lemon scent of her shampoo. I began walking AM backward to the waiting hire car, holding her a few inches off the ground so she wouldn’t trip and fall.

  “Hey, Bo.” Gray ran up beside me. “A minute?” I nodded and held the door while AM climbed in.

  Gray swept a hand over his hair, only small remnants of his regulation haircut showing slightly in the back. “I’m thinking of getting out.”

  I gaped at him in total shock. Gray had a hard-on for the military. I thought for sure he’d be career. “I didn’t see that coming. Why?”

  “Now that the troops are drawn down, we’re all just sitting around base and devising pranks. Guys are spending too much money and hooking up with boot chasers. There isn’t much going on, and it’s driving me crazy.”

  “What about going to Officer Training School, moving up?”

  “It’s either that or trying for one of the Spec Ops, but I’ve been thinking that maybe I should just do what you and Noah did and get out. How is it?”

  This time it was me rubbing my head. “I mean, shit, man, I don’t know what to tell you. If you had caught me before AM, I would’ve said I regret it.”

  “But now?”

  “I lucked out there. Look, if you want to see what it’s like, a little, come with me for the rest of your leave. You can bunk with Noah and me, go to some Central College functions, and see what you think,” I said.
>
  “What’s Noah up to? He hunt down his girl?”

  “Yeah, although it was no walk in the park for him. Damn amusing for the rest of us. He bought a yogurt franchise.”

  “A yogurt what?”

  “A place where you go and get frozen yogurt and put shit on top. People love it. I think he’s going to buy another one.”

  Gray scratched his head in wonder. “What’re you going to do when you’re done with school?”

  “Thinking of throwing in with my man Finn. He flips houses, buys old ones and renovates them.”

  “No shit. You gotta have a four-year degree for that?”

  “Nah, but I’m about three semesters away from graduating with a degree, so I might as well finish it out.”

  “Huh.” Gray sounded intrigued and while I didn’t mind shooting the shit with him, I wanted to take AM back to the hotel and remind her why she was still with me.

  “Give me a call or just show up. We’ll show you around,” I told him and then climbed into the backseat with AM. “Tell the other guys I’ll see them this summer.”

  Gray nodded and jerked his head toward AM’s side of the car. “She’s really it for you?”

  “You know how it’s all about God and country over there in Afghanistan.” Gray nodded. “Well, when you find someone like AM, what you felt about the cause, about being a patriot, is like eating eggs from the MRE pack. Dry, tasteless, meaningless. It’s nothing. I’d kill for her and,” I paused, “I’ll learn to walk away.”

  Chapter Thirty

  BO

  AM AND I WORKED OUR ASSES OFF to finish our labs after our midterms. The plant hybrid report generated by our theoretical study was completed by AM; she typed up our notes and I added a few sketches. AM declared my pencil drawings to be brilliant and was convinced they would give us an A. I tried not to look too skeptical, but I hoped our professor wasn’t going to be simply won over by a few encyclopedia drawings.

  “What’s this?” AM asked, flipping through some carpentry books I’d picked up over the weekend. I hesitated to tell her, wondering if she would think I was a complete fool for taking my life in such a different direction. I knew that AM would run her own business someday. It might be small, but I doubted it. Her energy burned too strongly for that. Would she still be okay with being with someone who worked with his hands and not in an office?

  I gave myself a metaphorical kick in the ass. It was a good thing I’d never fallen in love before. I wouldn’t have been able to wipe my ass after all this second-guessing.

  I pulled the books from AM’s fingers and rubbed my fingers over the covers. “I’m thinking about working with Finn, flipping houses.”

  AM’s face lit up with interest. “Oh, Bo, that sounds fantastic.”

  “Yeah? You aren’t going to be bothered if I wear boots to work instead of a suit and tie?”

  My question was met with a punch to the arm. Our propensity for physical violence seemed to have grown inversely, with AM increasing her nonverbal responses and me decreasing my fight instinct and talking more. Of course, AM’s punches were like insect bites, tiny and barely noticeable, but I yelped like a dog so she knew she had my attention.

  “Does this mean you can build me whatever I want? Like a new desk or a bookshelf or something? Wait, you won’t sell your car to get a pickup instead, will you? I haven’t even gotten to drive it yet.” AM hopped over to pick up my key fob off the desk, the dog tags jingling like a little bell underneath the t-shirt she was wearing. Mine, of course. I’d taken all her pre-Bo nightwear and hidden it. Even though no guy had ever worn those T-shirts, I didn’t like the idea of seeing her in a man’s shirt that hadn’t already been worn by me.

  “Maybe after I have a few years in, I’ll build us a house.” I pulled her down on my lap, nestling her ass against my growing wood. She always looked so awesome wearing my shirts. I’d like to keep AM locked up in my room wearing only my old PT Marine t-shirt and nothing else, but I kept those thoughts to myself. After classes were out, AM and I were going to go on a little road trip together, first to visit her mom, then mine, and then back down to San Diego.

  I’d promised she could drive the car, but I hadn’t promised anything about how long she’d spend in the driver’s seat. I might have mellowed, but some things would always be instinctive, like wanting to drive and carrying her things. And having sex standing up. She’d just have to learn to deal with that.

  “Let’s go to the party house this Friday night,” AM said. The words flew past me as I rocked my hips against her, pressing her harder against my erection. I wasn’t interested in any parties except the ones we would have right here in her bedroom. I pulled down on the collar of the t-shirt and kissed the base of her neck and shoulders that were exposed.

  “Wait, what?” I asked as AM’s statement registered. Instinctively I hugged her tighter to me. No one should go through that mess again. I’d resigned myself to AM not transferring and was prepared to buffer and shield her as much as I could, but going back to the party house seemed like trying to walk through a minefield without any testing equipment or field gear. At some point, you’d step wrong and the world would blow up. Last time, AM’s wounds healed. Next time they might not. My whole promise to stop fighting would go down the drain, too. The memory of the lacrosse shithead with the big mouth lying in a pool of his own nose blood made me smile, which was definitely not the response I was supposed to be having.

  “I’m tired of hiding out, Bo. I don’t want to be afraid any more, and I don’t want what’s happened to me to happen to other girls.”

  AM sounded determined. I pulled her legs up so she was curled like a kitten in my lap. “I’ve got your back, then.”

  Later, while AM was showering, I called in reinforcements. The entire house needed to show up.

  “Are we coming to help you lay waste to the crowd or to prevent you from losing your mind?” asked Noah. “I don’t care either way, but Gray wants to know whether he should wear a new t-shirt or an old one.”

  “Let’s play it by ear,” I cautioned. Gray had taken me up on the invitation to come up for a visit, and I was glad to have him for backup.

  “Foggy is hoping for bloodshed, so don’t expect him to be the voice of reason.”

  “That’s why Mal has to come, too,” I said.

  “Good call,” Noah affirmed.

  WE LEFT AROUND TEN THAT night, after making a half-assed attempt at a pre-party. Ellie spilled her drink on AM, which necessitated a change of clothes. Ellie apologized profusely for about ten minutes. Her neighbors were a train wreck, with the guy looking like a forlorn puppy at AM’s lesbian friend whenever he thought no one was looking. Falling in love with a lesbian was like putting your nuts in a vise and asking for them to be crushed. Captain, may I have blue balls for the rest of my life? I kind of wanted to punch him in the face for being so stupid about it, but AM definitely wouldn’t appreciate me hitting her friends.

  Out of all of us, AM was in the best mood. While she wasn’t bad at putting the brave face on, I didn’t get the sense that she was full of tension. It was like she’d made up her mind to do something and regardless of the outcome, she was at peace with herself. I made a conscious effort to relax and swung an arm around her shoulders to let her know she wasn’t alone.

  “I love you, you know.”

  She smiled up at me, face as beautiful and shining as any star. “I know.”

  At the door of the party house, AM marched right up the steps and I was right behind her. One of the residents, Lance, I think, was wearing a t-shirt that said “Choking Hazard” and an arrow pointing downward. He placed his hand on my arm as I followed AM inside.

  “Hey, man, we don’t want any trouble tonight.”

  I looked at his hand and then at him, incredulously. “You don’t take your hand off my arm, and we’ll see what kind of choking hazard your cock makes as I stuff it in your mouth.”

  Lance jumped back and raised his hands in surrender. “Just sa
ying. Blood’s a bitch of a stain.”

  “Then you better not let things get out of hand,” I warned, brushing by him. Unsurprisingly, Lance didn’t stop me again, nor did his roommate, who was manning the shot table. Unwritten rules required a toll to get into the back parts of the house where the party and the other liquor was. I caught up with AM and laid a fifty down before she could pull out any cash. “For all of us.” I gestured to the group behind me. He started to pour us all shots, but I shook my head no.

  “Speak for yourself, soldier boy,” Ellie said, muscling me out of the way. “I’ll drink his and mine,” she informed the bartender. He finished pouring the shots for Ellie, AM, Sasha, and Brian. Ellie downed one, and then picked up another and gave it to AM. “For courage.”

  “For fun,” AM responded and tipped her head back to swallow the alcohol. She coughed a bit and pounded her chest. “That stuff is vile.”

  A commotion sounded behind us, and I turned to see the entire Woodlands crew tromping inside, even Finn. All tall, big, and muscled, the group of five looked suitably intimidating. Lance moved out the way without even attempting to give a warning. Reaching into my wallet, I pulled out another fifty and threw it on the table. “We’ll take the bottle.” The guy handed it over wordlessly, and I waved everyone through.

  “Why are they all here?” AM hissed at me.

  “They like a good party?” I said innocently.

  She made a face at me and said, “This is my show.”

  “I know, Sunshine, but we want to make sure the response at the end of the show is appropriate.”

  “Whatever that means.” She frowned.

  “It means that sometimes a show of force can prevent actual fatalities or injuries down the road.”

  “It’s not just that there might be an opportunity for a brawl?” she said skeptically.