The Solemn Vow

by Bree Dahlia

  Flapping?

  “Holy shit!” I screech and leap out of bed, my body a mass of shakes and nerves at the near miss. I couldn’t care less that I’m naked; I peel out of that room so fast I almost face-plant.

  “Cain? Cain!”

  I’m convinced a rabid bat is after me and I tear down the stairs. Where the hell is my husband? I turn on every light I can find until my creeped-out factor drops to a manageable level.

  I tug a beach towel out of a box and wrap it around me, calling his name again as I set out looking. I find him in the warped section where the doors won’t stay closed and the foundation is slanted. Where the basement entrance is located. Crawl space. Whatever it is. Cain says this third of the house is lower because the support beams had to be cut in order to install the furnace. Knowing the reason doesn’t make it any less freaky.

  “Cain?” I say softly, rubbing my arms briskly. It’s unnerving how cold it is.

  He lifts his head. “Hey, baby.” His voice is heavy with sleep, and if it weren’t for the banister he’s leaning against, he’d probably topple over. “Sorry if I woke you.”

  “What are you doing down here?”

  He rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I just found myself here.”

  His dazed expression concerns me. He’s not a sleepwalker.

  I go to him, and he pulls me in for a hug. “There’s a bat in our room.”

  He responds by tightening his grip. I turn my head and burrow into his chest so my eyes aren’t subjected to the dirt at the bottom of the stairs. It resembles a graveyard.

  “How’d I get so lucky?” he whispers, and I wonder what he’s talking about. He strokes my hair and rocks me in his arms. I tilt my chin up and stare at him, and he gives me a lopsided grin. “Having you as my wife. My stellina. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  His eyes cloud over, and I think they’re about to spill tears. Now I’m really concerned.

  “Cain?”

  He squeezes me so hard, I question my next breath.

  “Never leave me.”

  Two

  “Are you freaking kidding me?”

  I swing over to the side of the road and dial Cain’s number. My GPS went on strike ten minutes ago, and since then I’ve been driving in figure eights. This entire country-fried town was made from the same barn and cow cookie cutters. I’ve passed the same brush fire God knows how many times already, and I’m tempted to stop and ask the guy in the ditch with the pitchfork where the hell I am, but I don’t want to interrupt him. And I don’t want to look like an idiot.

  “Maddie?”

  “I’m really sorry to bother you at work.”

  “Is something wrong?”

  “Yeah. I’m lost.” All I get is laughing on the other end. “I’m serious, Cain.”

  “How can you be lost? You’ve lived here most of your life.”

  “I didn’t live here. Not in Farmville.”

  More laughing and I squash my lips together. Only twenty minutes from the city but a whole different universe. I have nothing against rural living, but it’s foreign to me. And until I get used to it, I’ll be playing Groundhog Day with the goats and chickens. They’re probably laughing at me too.

  “All right, describe where you are.”

  I gaze out to my left into a cornfield and then to the right, trying to get a sense of direction when the saying pops into my head: “Knee high by the Fourth of July.” Or is it “as high as an elephant’s eye”? Considering it’s only May, I don’t see how any of this is helping me right now.

  I’m aware my mood sucks but spending the night spooked and buried under the covers will do that to a person. After Cain snapped out of it, he promised he’d take care of the bat, but by that time, it was lying low.

  “Maddie?”

  “There’re cornfields on either side of me.”

  “Well, that narrows it down.”

  “Oh, wait!” I look behind me. “Not too long ago, I passed a corner bar. Stubbies, I think?”

  “Stubb’s. So, where are you trying to go?”

  “That huge garden store off the Beltline. If you just tell me how you got to work this morning, I can find my way when I get near the city.”

  “There’s a garden center in Stockburg. Much closer.”

  “I also want to check out Home Works. We need some color in the house ASAP.”

  “Sounds good, baby. What you want to do is turn around, and about a half mile past Stubb’s, you’ll see a small blue shed at the corner. That’s Grafton Street. Turn right and take that all the way down.”

  “That’s it?” Are you freaking kidding me?

  “That’s it.”

  I end the call and follow the simple directions. As I get closer to the outskirts, familiarity washes over me. I roll down the window and smell the sweet air.

  I love Milwaukee. It saved me. I made a new life there, met and married Cain there. It’s where my best friend, Rowan, lives, and I miss her dearly. It’s where I graduated college and got my first job. Everything I am today, I owe to Milwaukee.

  But it’s not Madison. Madison is home.

  My skin prickles as if I’m being watched, a mixture of excitement and dread taking over. The air changes. One breath fresh, one breath stifling. Since the move seven years ago, I haven’t been back, even though it’s barely over an hour’s drive. There was never a need to come back, not when my mom left shortly after I did for Arizona. But now that I am back, nothing could’ve prepared me for this reaction. It’s visceral and raw, and it digs into my stomach as hard as my fingers clench the wheel.

  The closer I get to the city limits, the harder the memories strike. Some extraordinary, some excruciating, some—

  Shit! I slam on my brakes, almost missing my street. I swing a sharp left and head down Route 6. My frenzied heart begins to calm, and I realize how silly I’m acting.

  So I’m back. Deal with it.

  I pull into the lot and park in the farthest spot. The sun burns hot through the glass, and I bask in it, closing my eyes. An image assembles behind my lids, piece by piece, merging into form. Not too far from here is my favorite place in the world, and I wonder if it’s exactly how I remember it.

  In my mind’s eye, I see The Gardens. I experience it. The cheery yellow bench at the end of the footbridge hidden in a mass of blushing crabapple blossoms in the spring. The pond off to the side covered in moss and pink lotus flowers. The stone trail leading into the botanical park. My go-to destination when I needed a dose of inspiration. Or when I wanted to feel most alive.

  I shake it loose. That was then. I look forward to immersing in the beauty again, bringing that appreciation to my children, but first I have to make a home for those children to come into. One where they won’t be scared peeless.

  I spend a half hour strolling around the center, scoping out both indoor and outdoor plants, chatting with the “garden masters.” This stuff is so far out of my league. Knowing what appeals to my senses is not the same as knowing what my black thumb will keep alive. I’ve only managed to care for an aloe before, since those are pretty hard to kill.

  I’m hopeful when I’m shown a shade-loving shrub bursting with blue and purple flowers. It’s bubbly and hardy, and I plan to plant it near the front door like a welcoming mat.

  My nose is buried in a violet when I feel a touch on my arm. I swivel to a face I vaguely recognize that’s attached to an extremely pregnant middle.

  “Maddie?” Her cheeks are glowing. “Maddie James?”

  I nod, noticing twin toddler boys in the cart next to her, yanking at each other’s towheaded tuffs of hair. “But it’s Ferrari now.”

  “I knew it was you!” She whacks the handlebar and the boys flinch. “Behave, you two, or you can forget about stopping for ice cream.”

  As she eyes them down, I take the opportunity to study her. She appears around my age. We must’ve gone to high school together, but it’s awkward I can’t remember a name.

 
“Have any?” She turns back to me, rubbing her swollen belly. I want to tell her to stop or she might pop it.

  “Not yet.”

  She laughs. “Wouldn’t trade ’em for anything, but take your time.” She looks me over, tapping her chin. “What’d you say your last name is?”

  “Ferrari. My husband’s Cain.”

  Her eyes flick up as if reading an invisible database above my head. “He go to East?”

  “No, I met him after I moved.”

  “That’s right.” She snaps her fingers. “You hightailed it out of here after graduation. Transferred to UW-Milwaukee.”

  I gawk at her. How in the world—

  And just like that, I place her. Liza Copeland. Queen of the gossip bitches. The go-to girl if you wanted to trade your soul for some dirt. The stay-away girl if you had something to hide and couldn’t afford to have your secret splayed open for the entire school.

  “And now you’re back?” Her lips crinkle strangely, resembling an origami duck beak. “Hmm. First Jake and now you. No one can ever keep away too long. Well, it is a great place to raise kids. When anyone leaves, I always say, ‘Don’t worry. You’ll be back.’”

  My mouth drops just as she spins around and smacks the cart again. It feels like paste is pouring into me, trickling down my throat. Disturbing. I sputter and snap my mouth shut.

  “Guess who I saw the other day?” She laughs, her back still facing me. The boys are bouncing so hard I worry they’ll hop over the side. “Tilly Evans. God, remember that day? Junior year study hall. I still feel mortified for her, sitting on that red gummy worm, trying to convince everyone the stain wasn’t her period.”

  She babbles on, tossing trinkets out of her purse to her kids, acting like she didn’t just flip my entire world by mentioning his name.

  “You two keep in touch?”

  “No.” I don’t even know who Tilly Evans is.

  “That’s a shame. He’s been back about a year now. Left Chicago and came home right before his mother passed away.”

  Oh shit. Not Tilly. Jake.

  “So, where’d you say you’re staying now?”

  “Uh, I didn’t.” My tongue sticks. “But, um, we have a place in Stockburg.”

  “Oh, that’s nice.” Liza turns her head toward me. “You know I don’t like getting into others’ business, but rumor has it he and his wife are separated.”

  The thick paste rises, spilling from my mouth and coating my face. Can’t she see how white I’ve become, all the blood that pours out onto my feet? I’m a plaster doll, and all she does is flash me her teeth.

  “Isn’t it crazy how life works?” The words bubble from her lips. “You know, everyone just assumed you guys would be the ones getting married. You were that couple, making everyone sick with how joined at the hip you were. Crazy, huh? Oh well.” She shrugs. “Better get going before the little hellions break something.”

  She gives me a hug and strolls away, leaving a statue in her wake.

  “Yeah,” I whisper once she disappears from sight.

  I stare out the kitchen window at the barren land. We have many mature trees scattered throughout our lot, hundred-year-old oaks and hardy maples. I can only imagine the Norman Rockwell painting this yard will become in the fall. There’s no shortage of nature to feast your eyes upon.

  Just not from this window.

  All I see is crumpled dried grass and an ugly brown grain silo in the distance. Gloomy gray skies that blend in with the lifeless ground. No wonder I chose this spot to gaze—it matches my mood.

  I just wasted my entire fucking day. And for what?

  The front door squeaks open and I start. The driveway and garage are a good half acre away from the house, so I’d better get used to not hearing him pull up. I think he’s early until I check the time. Nope. It only confirms I’m a slacker.

  “Maddie?”

  “In here.”

  Cain enters the room, passing underneath the thick arched doorway like a handsome dark prince returning to his castle. It’s my favorite part of the house.

  He joins me, wrapping his arms around my waist, hauling me to his chest. I reach up and stroke the shadow covering his jaw.

  “I like the tree,” he says.

  “Tree?”

  He nuzzles his lips into my neck. “Outside the door.”

  Oh right. I guess it does resemble a tree. “It’s actually a flowering shrub. It’s not supposed to die too easily.” I did manage to make a purchase today, but only one.

  He chuckles. “Whatever it is, it looks nice. Did you pick up anything else to make our home pretty?”

  His mouth feels so good, siphoning out the melancholy. “No, I came home afterward to work.” That was my intention anyway. Even if it fell short.

  I shiver beneath him. He doubles his efforts so I can shiver harder. “How’d that go?”

  I push away slightly, as if I don’t deserve to feel this good. “I didn’t accomplish anything. I really tried, but I couldn’t force myself to focus. Everything I sketched looked like crap, I didn’t even go grocery shopping like I planned, and—”

  I’m silenced with a kiss. “Baby, it’s okay. You’re still adjusting. Everything will come together.” He nibbles on my lips, moving down to my throat. “If it makes you feel any better, I was distracted all day too. I couldn’t stop thinking about you after you called. I couldn’t wait to come home and claim another room.”

  His words, his touch, hit me at my core, but I shove it aside. “But we don’t even have any food in the house.” Except for a six-pack and some pumpernickel pretzels. “Unlike me, you were working all day. Aren’t you starving?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  I know he’s insinuating that I’m on the menu, but I can’t let it go. Why can’t I let it go?

  “Cain.”

  “Maddie.” He grips my chin. “The only thing I give a shit about right now is you.” He reaches up to flick on a light and a pop fills the air, causing him to laugh. He rests his forehead against mine. “Add new wiring to our list.”

  “Okay,” I whisper through a smile.

  He runs his thumb over my cheek before slipping it down into my mouth for me to suck. He slides it out, leaving a wet trail over my skin, and I squeeze my thighs together. My muscles tremble as his hand travels lower and glides between my legs.

  “I’m going to devour you,” he says. His promise makes me wetter, his tongue teasing my mouth, and everything outside of him dissolves.

  By the time he tugs at my jeans, I’m practically begging for it. He truly is my dark prince, giving me the pleasure I crave, a shadowy form before me. The sun is still in the sky, but the room has grown dim; before long, we’ll be in blackness.

  I’m anticipating what’s to come when he throws off my senses, hoisting me up instead. I yelp, and he heats my ass with his palm before carrying me through the doors and into the open air.

  “Cain?”

  “Already claimed the kitchen, baby. Need somewhere new.”

  “But it’s still light out.”

  He grabs hold of the wooden side rail lining the porch and yanks hard. “This one’s secure.” He rips off his shirt and drapes it over the top of the rail, pressing me against it. His fingers dig into my inner thighs, stretching me apart.

  “It’s still light out,” I say again, softer this time. The breeze licks at my bare skin, making everything throb. His tongue drags through me and I gush over it. I’m so fucking aroused.

  “Time for you to reap the benefits of all this open space. Nearest neighbor’s a mile away.”

  My clit is his instrument. He sucks me in and plays me well. Oh God….

  “Scream as loud as you want. No one can hear you.”

  I watch my beautiful husband between my thighs, his hot tongue cherishing me, his strong hands clenching me to him. Our public display is only meant for us. A delicious pressure builds inside me, and I want him to own it.

  “Burst for me, stellina.”

 
And I do.

  Three

  Bonk, bonk, bonk.

  I bang my head on the table to drown out the noise. This. Is. Getting. Ridiculous. Even the stars flickering around the room aren’t sparking me. I can’t even draw a simple design with an ounce of personality. There’s no momentum to the lines, the shading is off, the angles are rounded. A two-year-old with her eyes crossed could’ve created something more appealing.

  Bonk, bonk, bonk.

  Argh. I toss my sketchpad to the table. I was having trouble concentrating before the ruckus began; now I’m ready to take a sledgehammer to the walls. I need to bust them open, figure out the cause, and make it stop.

  A week into the house and apparently I’m still adjusting. I must’ve depleted all my creative juices by brainstorming decorating ideas. Not only has my muse set off for greener pastures, but my business hat must’ve shrunk as well. I’m terrified to take the next step and start the marketing needed to land my first publisher.

  I dial Cain, wondering if the bat has returned to a new spot with a bag of marbles. A patch of molding was missing underneath the gutters near our room, and that’s how it slipped through that first night. Cain filled it in, and we’ve been good since.

  Until now, apparently.

  “Hey, Maddie. What’s up?”

  His voice is groggy, and I picture his heavy eyes from this morning. “Not you. You need to come home and take a nap.”

  “You know I can’t do that.”

  “Yeah.” It just sucks how restless his sleep has been. “I’m calling to see if you can figure out what these weird noises are. They’re coming from inside the house, and it’s very distracting.” I hold the phone to the wall. Silence. “Damn, it’s not doing it now.”

  “What does it sound like?”

  “Kinda like a hailstorm inside the walls, but more rolling sounding.” I’m sure that made a ton of sense. “Do you think it’s bats again?”

  “I doubt it. I’ll check on it when I get home, okay?”

  “Okay.” I press my ear to the plaster, but still nothing. It’s messing with me. “I was really hoping you had an idea about what it was so I could make it stop. It’s screwing with my mojo.”