Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  “I can take him,” she said confidently.

  She dropped behind the saboteur and punched him in the back of his head. He hit the floor and Jenny kicked him in the leg. Her fighting style was clumsy and relied more on strength and invisibility than skill, but it was still effective. The saboteur jumped to his feet and drew his swords, slashing blindly around him. Jenny stood back out of his range as he cut through the air faster than the eye could follow. He looked surprised when he didn’t hit anything. Jenny laughed, and the saboteur stabbed in her direction. One of his swords caught Jenny on her wrist. The sword blade snapped, leaving nothing worse than a thin red line on her skin.

  “Ouch,” she complained.

  The saboteur stabbed at her again with his remaining sword, but she caught the blade with her bare hand and then punched the saboteur so hard that he flew through a brick wall. He bounced to his feet and dropped a small vial that burst into a thick cloud of green smoke. The smoke blinded Jenny and made her cough, and by the time it cleared the intruder had escaped. Jenny saw him standing on the top of a distant factory tower. He nodded to her and then disappeared in another cloud of green smoke. Jenny rubbed her eyes and breathed in deeply; the smoke had made her nose run. She picked up the bomb and saw that it was still ticking, so she carried it out of the factory.

  “He’s gone. I’ll fly the bomb as high as I can and then throw it before it explodes,” she told Voice.

  “Wait! You should–” Voice cried, but Jenny dropped the phone.

  She closed her eyes and started flying, counting down under her breath. She must have made a mistake with her counting, however, because the bomb exploded while it was still in her hands.

  BOOM!

  The blast was so loud that it was heard from miles away, so strong that it shattered the factory windows below, so bright that it could be seen from space. Bits of fire fell from the sky and rained down on the factory.

  “Not another one lost!” said Voice over the fallen phone.

  Two feet slammed into the ground beside the phone; Jenny reached down and picked it up. She coughed a little, the smoke made her eyes sting and her clothes were a little singed, but she was otherwise fine.

  “Hah. That really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” she said into the phone.

  “What? Who is this?” demanded Voice.

  “Don’t pretend you don’t know who this is – you still owe me two hundred credits,” said Jenny.

  “How did you survive that? Are you safe? Is the factory safe?”

  Voice sounded genuinely worried, but Jenny just smiled and picked a piece of red–hot metal out of her hair before answering.

  “Yup. The saboteur is gone. He must be a teleporter of some kind... or he’s pretty fast. Can I get some of those smoke bombs?” she asked, blowing her nose.

  “No. And the only teleporters are the ones who use belts. If he was using one of those you would have seen a flash of light. I think he must have been fast.”

  Voice had recovered his calm, authoritarian tone; he was a professional, after all.

  “I didn’t see any kind of belt, or a flash. Anyway, you owe me two hundred credits… and another hundred because now I smell like a chimney stack,” said Jenny.

  “Fine. You did well today, Jennifer. Your actions meant a lot to your town and to Newtopia. We are very pleased to have you working for us.”

  “Better make it four hundred credits, then. And I’m not working for you; I’m just helping you out this one time.”

  Voice was silent, and for a few seconds Jenny thought he had hung up. He coughed softly, and it sounded like he was holding a whispered conversation with someone on his end of the line.

  “Would you like a job, Jennifer?”

  “No.”

  “It’s your patriotic duty. Think of all the good you could do for Newtopia.”

  “Yeah… no thanks. I have school, anyway, and my mom would kill me if I started missing classes, and I’m not even exaggerating.”

  Voice fell silent again, and Jenny could hear him whispering frantically.

  “We can pay you well,” Voice tried.

  “Tempting… but not enough.”

  “If you don’t help us out, we will tell your mom that you nearly died in a bomb blast because you didn’t listen to me. How do you think she will take that, Jennifer?”

  Jenny smiled.

  “Hah! Bribery and blackmail? I like you more and more, Voice. Fine, but you will need to write me a letter to get me out of my history test tomorrow. Now, what else do you need me for?”

  There was a long pause before Voice answered.

  “Have you ever heard of the League of Teenage Supervillains?”

  CHAPTER FIVE: MASTER SCREAM’S GRAND RETIREMENT PARTY

  You can be a hero on instinct, but being a successful supervillain requires thinking ahead. You should always have at least one plan for every situation, including your own death.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Rex had to act fast.

  The Icarus Elite had finally tracked down Master SCREAM’s secret lair, and it wouldn’t be long before they would be ripping the stone walls themselves to get to Master SCREAM.

  “It could be worse,” Rex told himself.

  His elevator reached the command room, and he took a moment to compose himself. Rex could have easily have made a fortune from his acting skills if he had wanted to be a star, but he had been called to lower and more villainous things than simple entertainment. When he stepped into the command room, he stepped out as the mighty and invulnerable Master SCREAM who stalked forward without a trace of the annoyance or adrenaline Rex felt. Dozens of minions in orange jumpsuits were working at computer stations, but they were too scared to look around when Rex entered the room. Rex pointed a finger at his Chief of Minions, a goliath of a man called Colonel Razor.

  “How are the base defenses?” demanded Rex, who always spoke first when addressing his inferiors.

  Colonel Razor had muscle as tough as rusty steel cables and an attitude to match. He was a scarred and veteran mercenary famous for his courage under fire, but even he flinched as Rex approached him.

  “Master SCREAM, this is a false alarm,” he said. “There isn’t anything on our sensors.”

  “The radar, fool! Can you not see it?” Rex demanded, pointing at a radar screen.

  As if to prove his point, a machine gun started shooting from one of the castle’s turrets. It was quickly followed by a second, and then several heavy cannons. Skyre was controlling the base’s defenses from her computer as Rex’s army of minions armed themselves and ran to their defense positions. Rex knew that such an effort was largely pointless, because although Colonel Razor had trained Rex’s minions well, machine guns and cannons would never stop the Icarus Elite.

  “We are being attacked by the Sun Warriors,” Rex lied with the ease that only comes from a lot of practice.

  Rex knew that telling the truth about the attack would only cause panic, and that did not suit his plans. The Sun Warriors were a tough team of superheroes, but they weren’t in the same league as the Icarus Elite, and Colonel Razor would expect the base defenses to win the day.

  “Get the plasma blasters ready! Release the hunter–seeker missiles! Prepare the armored karate masters! These guys have no hope of getting anywhere close to us!” yelled Colonel Razor, punching the air in excitement.

  Colonel Razor walked to his desk and pulled out a dozen bombs and knives that he strapped onto his body, then pulled out an enormous plasma rifle.

  “We will repulse them like the flying toads they are, Master SCREAM,” he said confidently.

  “Good. I leave them in your capable hands, Colonel Razor. I shall return to my study to meditate now,” he boomed calmly.

  Rex stalked out of the room and back to the elevator. Instead of returning to his study, however, he rode the elevator to the deepest basement in the castle where his enormous research laboratories
were housed.

  “Mister Wonderful, Mister Wonderful, why must you keep getting in my way?” he muttered to himself as he adjusted his mask.

  There were no alarms in the laboratory, and work was continuing much as it always did. Huge teams of technicians and researchers in long white coats crowded around complex machines that were designed to make wormholes, cast fireballs or turn lead into gold. Very few of the crazy inventions would ever work, but Rex wasn’t worried about what the mad science was costing him. The lavish funding of such inventions was only an excuse to attract scientists to work on the real project: the one that would change the world, the one that would deliver the Earth from the idiotic superheroes.

  Rex’s research leader walked over and bobbed his head in greeting.

  “Salutations, Professor Engelmanthing and my team of loyal scientific scions. How is my great work going?” Rex asked loudly.

  Professor Engelmanthing was thin and tall. He had ragged grey hair and wore an old brown lab coat covered with oil stains and acid burns. Like most academics he considered all questions for an awkwardly long amount of time before answering with a question of his own.

  “Yes, yes, yes have you come to see our progress?” he asked after a pause.

  “Yes. I hope for all your sakes that the news is good, Professor. I am not in the mood to be disappointed. It gets so very messy when I am disappointed.”

  The scientists nearest the Professor started working even faster.

  Rex always started his visits by talking with Professor Engelmanthing, and he knew that varying his routine would worry the scientists. Besides, they had at least ten minutes before the battle above started getting to the point where Rex would need to act, and Rex always enjoyed his time in the labs. Supervillains never panic, and Rex was an extraordinary supervillain.

  Professor Engelmanthing led Rex past the oddball science projects and to a corner of the lab where a huge and complex shape was partly hidden beneath a large red sheet. Technicians with soldering guns and computer chips were swarming over it.

  “How is our work, Professor?” asked Rex.

  “Good, yes yes, very good. All these scientists bring many skills to my project, yes yes they do, no? But there are some parts we still need that we cannot buy, no, even I cannot make them. You will find them for me, yes?”

  He handed Rex a list on a small notepad. Rex read it over and smiled. The items on the list were an odd mix of strange power sources, mythical artifacts and experimental computer parts. The only thing the items had in common was that they were both extremely rare and outrageously expensive. That suited Rex just fine; he wasn’t planning on paying for them anyway.

  “And then it will be ready, Professor?”

  “Yes, yes, you get these items and I will ready our beautiful machine. Soon, yes, will you get these soon?”

  “I will. The League has some of these already, and the rest I’ll find some other way.”

  The Professor didn’t ask how Rex was planning to find the items on the list – Rex was a villain, after all.

  “And now, we must talk in your office!” he told Professor Engelmanthing.

  As soon as they stepped into the office Rex took his mask off. Professor Engelmanthing was not surprised – he built all of Rex’s masks, and his holo–jacket as well.

  “We are under attack,” Rex said calmly.

  “No, no, no, I heard it was the Sun Warriors, yes? I thought they are no threat, yes?”

  Rumor travelled fast amongst minions, which is why Rex was so careful to control it.

  “Unfortunately not. It’s the Icarus Elite,” said Rex.

  Professor Engelmanthing frowned.

  “This is coming at a terrible time, yes, no, yes, a critical time for my research. We are so close, and now you say we must leave, yes?”

  “Yes,” said Rex firmly. “Will it take two teleport belts to move the machine to our next base?”

  “Yes, yes, yes, I think that’s best, do you not?”

  “Fine. Get the machine ready to go and then call your three best workers to this office.”

  Rex put his mask back on and pulled a set of six teleport belts from beneath the Professor’s desk. Professor Engelmanthing returned five minutes later with three nervous scientists who all tried to hide behind each other when they saw Master SCREAM was waiting for them.

  “Scientists! We have judged you worthy of future greatness,” Rex informed them solemnly. “Take these belts. You will be teleported to a new base with the Professor. Fate, fame and fortune await you!”

  Rex threw a belt to each scientist and watched the trio disappear.

  “You and the machine are next, Professor. Before you leave, tell the remaining scientists about the escape tunnels. That way they can survive long enough for us to re–hire them for my next base,” said Rex.

  “What about you? Yes, no, yes, what about you?” asked Professor Engelmanthing as he strapped on his belt.

  “I’ll join you soon enough, but I think it may be time for Master SCREAM to retire. That should buy us a little peace to set up a new base without being interrupted.”

  Professor Engelmanthing nodded in understanding. He knew exactly what Rex was planning.

  Rex didn’t go directly to his command room, but instead made a detour to the castle kitchens. He could hear the sounds of battle above him, and the walls shook like they were caught in an earthquake. Rex ignored the panicking chefs around him and walked right up to the vegetable store.

  “Was it beetroot, garlic or parsley?” he muttered to himself, before picking up a box of beetroot.

  He carried the box back to the elevator and rode up to his command center. He opened the door to see the muscular figure of Mister Wonderful throwing Colonel Razor into a bank of computers. Rex pushed the ‘close’ button repeatedly as Colonel Razor blasted Mister Wonderful with his plasma rifle. The stream of burning light bounced right off Mister Wonderful’s chest and melted part of the wall. Rex rode the elevator up to his private study where a computer screen showed Mister Wonderful floating in the wreckage of the command room with Colonel Razor laying at his feet. Rex cleared his throat and picked up a mic that connected to the loudspeakers in the command room.

  “Curse you, Mister Wonderful! You have thwarted me for the last time! I will face you myself. Meet me in the castle courtyard and prepare to die!” Rex yelled in Master SCREAM’s voice.

  Mister Wonderful smiled. He turned towards a security camera and spoke confidently into it.

  “I will, you evil tyrant! You just got lucky last time! I will drag you before the courts of justice and–”

  Rex cut the loudspeakers off and watched Mister Wonderful leave the command room.

  “Sometimes I wish my enemies were just a little smarter. I mean, how dumb do you have to be to fall for that trick?” Rex asked.

  Rex didn’t have a lot to pack. He grabbed a laptop full of videos and a folder of secret plans and tucked them into his holo-jacket. On his desk was a set of photos he shoved into his pockets: a young Rex and his uncle, Rex and Chaotica standing on gold ingots in the deepest vaults in the Bank of Swords, and a photo of Rex and his friends from the League of Teenage Supervillains in which Flux was a blur, Robodent was half-hidden behind Chaotica, and Riot Master was staring off into the distance. Those were the only personal possessions he cared about.

  He also picked up a memory eraser, which looked like a small black pistol made of wires and light, and jumped back into the lift, riding it down to the command room. Part of the command room roof collapsed as a superhero passed through the castle nearby. A minion carrying a fire extinguisher ran past, but it was far too late to save the base. Colonel Razor was lying on the ground, wheezing and in pain.

  “You told us it was the Sun Warriors, but it’s the Icarus Elite!” Colonel Razor screamed at Rex.

  “Yeah, I lied,” admitted Rex. “I do that a lot, really. The good news is that there is still a way out of here, but there is something we need to do fir
st to help the escape plan.”

  Rex pointed the odd black pistol at Colonel Razor’s head.

  “A memory eraser! But how does that help me escape?” asked Colonel Razor with some worry.

  “Help you escape? No, you misunderstand me, Colonel, I meant it would help my escape plan.”

  The Colonel had been a useful thug, but Rex no longer needed him. Rex pulled the trigger, erasing a year of the Colonel’s memories and knocking him out. Colonel Razor was going to jail, but he couldn’t betray someone he barely remembered. Rex walked to the back of the command center and entered a code into a locked door which slid open to reveal two escape pods. Rex threw his mask into the first escape pod, and then added the beetroot. The escape pods weren’t nearly fast enough to outpace the Green Dart, but Rex wasn’t planning to. He walked back into the command room, grabbed Colonel Razor and dragged him into the second pod, taking a moment to strap him in securely. He took the elevator back up to the tallest tower in the castle in time to see the first escape pod spiral wildly out of control through the cold skies.

  Mister Wonderful was in the courtyard waiting for Master SCREAM, and he roared with anger when he realized he had been tricked. All the superheroes took off after the escape pod, not even stopping to search the castle properly. Rex picked up his mic.

  “Evacuate the base,” he ordered, “everyone evacuate the base while the idiots are outside.”

  The Green Dart was flying next to the first pod when it exploded in a blast of fire and roasted beetroot as soon as he touched it. The explosion alone wasn’t enough to hurt a superhero, but the Green Dart was allergic to beetroot. He crashed out the sky and rolled in the snow as his skin started to turn purple. His superhero friends gathered around him and tried to help, ignoring the hundreds of minions fleeing the castle. Rex launched the second pod containing Colonel Razor to give the superheroes something more to think about.

  The superheroes would find Colonel Razor wandering through the mountains without any memory of what had just happened, and they would throw him in jail. All that would be found of Master SCREAM was a burnt white mask amongst the escape pod debris. Everyone would agree that Master SCREAM was dead, most of the world would celebrate, and Rex would be left alone. Being Master SCREAM had been fun, but it was time for Rex to move on.