Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  The villains reached the Icarus headquarters, a tall building of ivory stone and enormous windows, and stopped outside. Entry to the building was through two huge wooden doors on the ground floor or through several doors in the upper walls of the building for flying superheroes. RoboRodent led his army down a drain and into the sewers, but Rex didn’t think that was a good plan.

  “Look for another way in,” Rex ordered his people, and they spread out.

  “A side attack, Rex? Pish–tash! Forward!” yelled Chaotica, taking her troops straight through the front doors.

  The doors slammed behind her and there was the dull boom of an explosion. The villains could hear Chaotica cackling as she fought her way out of whatever trap she had stumbled on, and several more bangs and screams.

  Rex shook his head in dismay but turned to address his own people.

  “I’ll leave you to find your own ways in. Get to the controls, but be ready for traps. Robbo and the boys, find Riot Master and, if he’s working for the Psychic Psycho, take him down. Right?”

  “Can we take him down even if he isn’t working for the Psychic Psycho?” asked Code Cutter.

  “Absolutely. Armored ninjas, take a few drones and secure this building. Everybody keep your aluminum hats on, okay?”

  The minions spread out, leaving Rex with Jenny and a couple of Code Cutter’s drones.

  “Can I get a lift?” Rex asked, grabbing a drone.

  It carried him up to one of the doors set high in the building with Jenny following, still invisible. A second drone entered first, triggering a huge explosion. Riot Master had been busy. The rooms were a maze, but Code Cutter’s drone led them onwards with little hesitation.

  “The control center is just around the corner and down the corridor,” Code Cutter’s drone said as it raced ahead of Rex.

  It turned the corner and burst into droplets of red cordial that sprayed across Rex and Jenny.

  “Uh oh,” said Rex, peering around the corner.

  Chaotica and her butler were guarding the control center’s doors, and neither one was wearing an aluminum hat. Chaotica shot her chaos–cannon wildly, burning through walls and windows alike.

  “Riot Master must have got to her… what a jerk,” said Jenny.

  “Damn, I was worried this could happen. Luckily I came prepared,” said Rex.

  He pulled a Rubik’s cube out of his pocket. The cube had been completed so that every side was nine blocks of the same color.

  “You take the butler and I’ll take Chaotica,” Rex said to Jenny.

  “Who are you talking to?” asked Code Cutter.

  Rex threw the cube over the table and it landed at Chaotica’s feet. She immediately dropped her gun to pick up the Rubik’s cube. She tried to re–arrange the perfect sides but couldn’t move the squares. Jenny dodged past her and knocked the butler off his feet. He shot out at Rex but hit Jenny, turning her visible but otherwise doing no damage. She knocked him out as gently as she could and pulled him carefully to one side of the corridor. Jenny looked at Chaotica with curiosity as the supervillain fumbled with the Rubik’s cube, oblivious to those around her.

  “I glued all the sides in place so that everything is perfectly ordered and impossible to change. Chaotica can’t handle it,” explained Rex.

  Chaotica was so engrossed in trying to break the Rubik’s cube that she didn’t even notice when Rex dropped another aluminum hat on her head. He grabbed the cube from her as she woke up.

  “Wow, that was weird. What happened?” said Chaotica.

  “You rushed right into a trap, and Riot Master took control of you.”

  “What? I am going to turn him into a toad for that!”

  Chaotica noticed Jenny and pointed her caster at her.

  “And who is this?”

  “This is Lady Smash, my girlfriend.”

  “But what– “

  “–you shouldn’t have let him get you, Chaotica. Are you getting soft?” Rex said quickly, keen to get her mind of Jenny.

  “No! And if you tell anyone what happened I’ll make you sorry, Rex! Now let’s go turn Riot Master into a chocolate pudding and then feed him to a mutant bear!”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: WHEN SUPERVILLAINS ATTACK!

  Do not insult Chaotica’s dress sense unless you think you might enjoy life as a toad.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Rex and pointed at the door Chaotica was guarding. It was thick and heavy, much like a bank’s vault door.

  “We need to get in there,” Rex said. “Any ideas?”

  Chaotica pushed him aside and kicked the door so hard that it turned into a swarm of grey locusts. Chaotica glared at the locusts and they melted into a puddle of color and tiny wings.

  “And you’ll be next if you call me soft again,” Chaotica said darkly.

  The room behind the door was full of computers and long desks of dials. Rex entered the room and sat down at a computer but didn’t touch anything.

  “Do something, Rex!” Jenny said impatiently.

  “I… I really have no idea what any of these buttons do,” Rex said. Computers weren’t his strength.

  Luckily one of Code Cutter’s drones came flying down the corridor and stopped by Rex’s shoulder.

  “Plug me in,” it said, dropping a cable.

  Rex plugged the cable into the computer and the lights dimmed for a second and then flickered back on.

  “Good,” said Code Cutter from a speaker in the wall. “Now get moving so I can seal this room off.”

  A new metal door slid down behind Rex as he left the room. Code Cutter’s drone followed him into the corridor.

  “What happened to RoboRodent?” Rex asked it.

  “He found Riot Master on the roof… I lost contact with him after that.”

  “Right… well, lead on then,” said Rex.

  “Hey hey hey!” said Flux, dashing along the corridor and stopping suddenly right beside Rex.

  The Green Dart was half a second behind her. He was wearing an aluminum hat.

  “Flux! Good to see you… I take it Green Dart knows what’s going on?”

  Dart nodded a dozen times in quick succession, so Rex handed him a spare roll of aluminum foil.

  “I haven’t heard from the Grim Shadow for a while, but I bet she could use some super speed help. Off you go, then.”

  Green Dart took the foil and disappeared in a flash.

  “He’s very fast,” said Flux in admiration.

  “Focus on the mission, Flux, you can ask him out later.”

  “I already did,” said Flux, because she didn’t waste any time.

  “Good for you. Riot Master is on the roof, by the way. Sounds like he already got to RoboRodent.”

  “So what’s our plan?”

  “I have a wave of drones ready to take him out. All I need is for you to distract him,” Code Cutter said.

  “Good…. But just in case, you know what to do, Lady Smash,” Rex said.

  Jenny nodded and became invisible.

  “What? Who was that and where did she go?” asked Flux in confusion.

  Chaotica took her aluminum hat off and handed it to Rex.

  “We can talk about her later. Shall we try the prisoner trick?” she said to Rex, pointing her chaos caster at his chest.

  “My thoughts exactly.”

  Riot Master was standing on the roof and using a pair of binoculars to watch his superheroes battling the Grim Shadow on the far side of the Icarus. Captain Amazing floated by his side, and the pair of schemers were guarded by RoboRodent and his metal army. RoboRodent wasn’t wearing his foil hat and his eyes were even redder than normal.

  “Hey guys, what’s up?” Rex said cheerfully as the elevator doors opened.

  Riot Master turned around in surprise.

  “What? No, you were meant to kill him, not bring him here!”

  “This is fine,” said Captain Amazing, “what can he do to us? Let’s make them watch as
their little plans fall apart… and look, he’s not alone!”

  He pointed at the elevator door and Flux was dragged out by his telekinetic powers. One of the robot rodents grabbed her and pinned her in place as Mad Robbo and the other three Outback Rangers flew out of their hiding places beside an air conditioner and landed hard beside her.

  “We found Riot Master for ya’, boss,” said Robbo.

  “Yes, I can see that,” said Rex with a frown.

  Riot Master laughed.

  “You thought that would work? I’m insulted, Rex.”

  Jenny was almost in position behind Riot Master, and Code Cutter’s drones were close. Rex smiled confidently, but inside he was tense.

  “Ah, Rex, it is useless to fight. My new powers put me well beyond you,” Riot Master said with a crocodile smile.

  “I take it you are both working for the Psychic Psycho, then?” asked Rex, eyeing Swiss thoughtfully.

  “The New Man,” Riot Master corrected him.

  “Shame on you, Riot Master, I never would have thought I’d see the day a member the League became a sidekick,” Rex said.

  “The Psychic Psycho’s sucky pseudo–psychic sidekick!” said Flux, who liked word games.

  “What? No!” protested Riot Master.

  “Definitely a sidekick,” Rex agreed with a mean smile.

  “I am not a sidekick!”

  A dozen drones rose up behind Riot Master and Flux laughed, but Captain Amazing clicked his fingers and the drones burst into metal confetti that fell out of the sky, dead.

  “Is that all? No, the great Rex would have a better plan than that, surely. Yes… yes…I can sense… someone familiar. There you are!” Riot Master said, pointing at Jenny.

  She became instantly visible to everyone. Swiss reached up with a huge metal paw and plucked her from the air. It wrapped its metal arms around her and held her so tightly that she couldn’t move.

  “Ha! I don’t fall for the same trick twice, girl. I should have known you would be hanging around that loser.”

  “Help!” Jenny said, struggling hard but unable to break free of Swiss’ hydraulic embrace.

  “Put her down, Riot Master,” said Rex calmly.

  “Or what? Or what, Rex?”

  Chaotica pushed Rex aside and shot out with her chaos caster, but it bounced off Riot Master’s chest without doing any damage at all. Riot Master walked through the blast and grabbed Rex by the throat.

  “Now I control you!” he roared dramatically, but nothing happened.

  Rex drew an aluminum blade from his pocket and stabbed Riot Master, who cried out and stepped away. The blade hadn’t hurt the villain badly, just enough to remind him he was still human, still vulnerable.

  “Psychic powers are lame,” Rex said, pointing at the protective cap he wore on his head under his jacket.

  Captain Amazing leapt at Rex and grabbed him. Chaotica moved to help, but another of RoboRodent’s giant pets grabbed her with its massive metal arms. She struggled against it, but it was just too strong for her.

  “Lame,” Chaotica agreed, struggling.

  “Super dooper lame!” added Flux, kicking the robot that held her.

  “What about raw power? Does that impress you?” asked Riot Master, holding a hand against the cut in his side.

  “Yeah… raw power is pretty good, I guess, although tt is somewhat lacking in style,” said Rex.

  He was furious with himself for underestimating Riot Master, but he didn’t let it show, because a good supervillain knows how to goad an enemy into making a mistake.

  “Who cares about style? But while we are talking about powers… what exactly is your power, Rex?” asked Riot Master. “I watched you for a whole week in your base and I never saw you use it, so tell me what it is.”

  “I don’t have one,” said Rex simply, because a supervillain is full of surprises.

  “What? What do you mean?” demanded Captain Amazing in surprise.

  “Not everyone is a superhuman, you know. It’s not a requirement for being either a hero or a villain. I don’t have a power and I don’t need one,” said Rex defiantly.

  Rex’s revelation had shocked the whole group into silence. They had all assumed that a villain of his ability must have had a legendary superpower, so hearing that he was a normal human had left them stunned. Riot Master was the first to recover. He grabbed a rifle off the back of one of RoboRodent’s creations and pointed it right at Rex’s chest.

  “How... interesting. So if I shoot you, you’ll just die?” asked Riot Master, and pulled the trigger.

  A wave of blue fire erupted from the gun and caught Rex in the chest, throwing him off the balcony and to the streets far below.

  “NO!” screamed Jenny, but there was nothing she could do to save Rex.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: RIOT MASTER GETS HIS DUE

  Lie.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Jenny watched in despair as Rex flew off the roof of the Team Icarus headquarters.

  She tried to fly towards him, but Swiss’ robotic paws were far too strong. She kicked dents into its hydraulic shins with her heel but it still held her tightly.

  “You idiots! Killers!” she yelled, struggling to get free.

  “I should have done that years ago,” said Riot Master thoughtfully, ignoring Jenny and reloading the rifle.

  “Why didn’t you? I thought you villains were into that sort of thing,” Captain Amazing asked.

  Riot Master chuckled nastily.

  “He had us all convinced that he had some superbad powers we didn’t want to mess with. You guys couldn’t take him out, either, and I know you tried.”

  “This isn’t over!” Chaotica warned.

  “Yeah it is. Rex is dead, and the rest of you lot are lost without–”

  “Yeeeeha!” interrupted a scream.

  Rex was carried back onto the roof by one of Code Cutter’s drones. He had a cat in one hand and a magnesium flare in the other.

  “Guess what? I lied about not having any powers!”

  He threw the cat towards RoboRodent and the possessed supervillain screamed and jumped onto a table. His robots dropped their prisoners and leapt onto the table beside their maker, shaking in programmed terror. Rex lit the magnesium flare and lunged at Captain Amazing with it, burning the superhero across the chest. Captain Amazing tried to flee, but Rex tripped him up and hit him with the flare again. The flare stole all of Captain Amazing’s powers, leaving him weak and laying helpless on the ground. Flux popped an aluminum hat on RoboRodent’s head, and he collapsed onto the table.

  It was all over in seconds.

  “What the hell just happened?” asked Riot Master as the supervillains and robots all turned on him.

  “I happened… and style always matters to a supervillain. You should know that,” Rex said to Riot Master with some satisfaction.

  Captain Amazing groaned, but fell silent when he saw Jenny’s expression.

  “I was… under his mind control?” he tried, but Jenny shook her head threateningly.

  Swiss picked Riot Master up.

  “Kill?” it asked.

  “Not yet, but make sure he doesn’t go anywhere,” Rex told it.

  The robot showed Riot Master its enormous teeth and seemed eager to use them.

  Captain Amazing dived off the side of the building and took off into the air, but no–one tried to stop him, because the League of Teenage Supervillains only cared about Riot Master. Supervillains like revenge more than anything else in the world, especially when the target is a former friend.

  “You broke the rules, Geoffrey,” Rex said, pulling out his aluminum knife.

  Then Riot Master remembered that he was still wearing a teleport belt. His hand dropped to his belt, but Swiss shook its massive head in disapproval and he stopped. The supervillain whimpered, because he knew that while the League tolerated members occasionally bending the rules, breaking them was unacceptable.


  “Rule One: no doomsday weapons… and crashing the Icarus counts. The rule has been broken,” said Chaotica. She wasn’t smiling as she powered up her chaos caster to its maximum setting.

  “Which leads us to Rule Two: no messing with the Icarus. The rule has been broken,” added RoboRodent, motioning his robotic army to gather closer.

  “And Rule Three: no sabotaging each other. You placed bombs in Rex’s base, you total jerk weed. The rule has been broken,” said Code Cutter through one of her drones.

  “And… Rule Four, everyone except Rex is supposed to clean up after pizza, but you never do! The rule has also been broken,” put in Flux. Rule Four wasn’t really relevant to the situation, but Flux didn’t want to be left out.

  “And be nice to Newtopia… that rule has also been broken,” added Rex with a smile.

  “What? Since when is that a rule?” demanded Chaotica.

  “That was more of a guideline,” said Rex smoothly. “We can talk about it later. The important thing is that our League has few rules, but they must be adhered to by all members. If you break the rules you aren’t a member, and if you aren’t a member of our League then you must be a competitor. We don’t like competitors, Geoffrey.”

  “I can explain… will you let me explain?” Riot Master asked nervously.

  “Actually… there is something more important I want to know,” said Chaotica pointedly, and turned towards Rex.

  Her chaos caster started to glow in a rainbow of colors, a sure sign that she was planning on using it. Jenny moved between Chaotica and Rex and raised a finger in warning, but Rex pushed her gently aside.

  “Do we have a problem, Chaotica?” Rex asked casually.

  “Yeah… what exactly is your power, Rex?”

  Rex rolled his eyes; Chaotica never could focus on one thing at a time.

  “Does it really matter?”

  “It matters. We are the League of Teenage Supervillains, and supervillains need superpowers,” said Flux flatly.

  “Agreed!” said Code Cutter through one of her drones.