A Woman To Blame

by Susan Connell

  "Not for this part. I'm taking care of it, Bryn," he said, pulling a check from his shirt pocket.

  "That's your personal check. Why?"

  "Just take the other back, Bryn."

  There it was. That impatient, demanding tone she hadn't heard in weeks, delivering the order no one would dare challenge. Except her. Her spine straightened as she pushed a shock of loose curls from her forehead. "No, Rick," she said coolly, "I can't do that."

  "Yes you can."

  She shook her head. "No I can't. I already deposited the Conch Castle check in the ambulance account. This is a cashier's check made out to the ambulance company. I'm leaving in a few minutes to pick it up in Miami."

  "Don't do this, Bryn."

  Closing her eyes, she continued. "Will you come with me to Miami? Will you finish this with me, Rick?"

  She opened her eyes in time to see him fold his check, then shove it in his shirt pocket. Shaking his head, he pushed open the screen door and went out.

  The others looked expectantly their way.

  "Where's Captain Parrish going?" May Leigh asked, as Bryn caught the screen door before it banged against the door frame. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of a noisy departure.

  "Well, what is happening?" Rita demanded. "What's Captain Parrish so steamed up about?"

  "Yes, what have you two decided?" Liza asked.

  "I know what I've decided," Bryn said, watching the cloud of dust following him and his Jeep out of the driveway. "Your Captain Parrish can be a very stubborn man."

  "Ain't that the truth," Rita said, joining Bryn at the window to watch his speedy departure.

  Pulling the last of her pride together, Bryn swallowed back tears. "Well, he can be stubborn until dolphins walk on land, but I made a promise to this community and I intend to keep it." Picking up her purse, she shoved back her hair and forced a shaky smile onto her face. "Anyone want to take the bus up to Miami with me to pick up an ambulance?"

  Chapter 10

  At eight P.M. Bryn turned on the siren and flashing lights as she drove onto Marina Road and then into Pappy's parking lot. By the time she'd parked the vehicle and turned off the siren, most of the patrons were pouring out of Pappy's stairwell. The swelling crowd and enthusiastic shouts didn't make up for the one missing factor in her moment of triumph. She looked everywhere in the crowd for him and then scanned the faces of those leaning over the upstairs rail. If he was there, he was being careful not to show himself. Soft pain wound around her heart at the thought of him remaining in the shadows.

  Liza stepped out of the crowd and lowered her head to the open window of the ambulance. "I know who you're looking for and he's not here, dear," she said, patting Bryn's hand, "but the rest of the committee is."

  Bryn wanted to ask why he wasn't there tonight, but she knew the answer. He was staying away from her because of his stubborn need to hold on to the past. She wanted to tell him that the character of Malabar Key was firmly established, and that the donation from Conch Castle Resort couldn't nudge this feisty populace into ever selling out. Rubbing her temples, she tried to bring herself back into the present, yet thoughts of Rick persisted. Being angry with him about his stubbornness would have felt good, but she was already missing him too much for that. Besides, after reassuring him Malabar Key wasn't in danger of changing, the real unresolved issue between them would still be there—his continuing love for Angie.

  "You were right going ahead with your plan, dear. You'll see."

  See what? What plan? she wanted to ask, but before she could, Liza disappeared back into the crowd. As Bryn strained to find her again, Tweed MacNeil and Jiggy appeared on the brick walkway with Pappy Madison in their arms. May Leigh hurried ahead of them to place his walker securely on the bricks.

  "There you go, Pappy," May Leigh said as the old man stood up from the basket of Tweed's and Jiggy's arms.

  "Brynnie, it's a beaut," he said, taking small, hard-won steps toward the gleaming new vehicle. "Did Rick let you drive it?" he asked, bracing himself on the walker as he leaned to look in the window of the ambulance. "Where is he? Where's Rick?"

  "Grandfather, I drove this all the way from Miami by myself," she said, trying to sound jokingly miffed that he wouldn't have considered that possibility. "I have a proper license."

  "What?" her grandfather asked. "Rick didn't go with you? Then where's he been all evening?"

  "Rick's at the marina, Pappy," Jiggy said. "He insisted he had to overhaul an engine tonight, but I think he'll take a break to see this. Tweed, go get him."

  Yes, Bryn thought, go get him and bring him here so he can make one more cruel remark. Maybe then, when the last shred of hope that we could have worked this out is gone, I can think about what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.

  Stepping from the vehicle, she walked around back to show it off. Opening the doors, she climbed into the interior. "This is your basic ambulance, ladies and gentlemen," she said, pretending to give the sales pitch. Turning back toward the people, she continued pointing out the special features of the model. "We would appreciate it if no one would have a complicated accident until we can afford all the equipment for it."

  Rita stuck her head in the back. "You mean all those really fancy-shmancy doodads that we see on the television rescue shows?"

  "Exactly."

  "Hmmm," Liza said, "sounds to me like we should consider having another fund-raiser for those things."

  While Rita, May Leigh, and Millie protested, Jiggy took the more dramatic approach. Clutching at his chest, he sank to his knees.

  "Somebody, please, get me an ambulance."

  The crowd convulsed in laughter as Liza turned toward them, shouting, "Volunteers? Are there any community-minded souls who would like to volunteer for a worthy cause? Ah, Captain Parrish. Perhaps you'd like to volunteer again?"

  Bryn's heart skipped a beat when she heard his name. Hope was suddenly surging inside her again, and she didn't care that she was probably certifiably crazy because of it. As optimistic as any child on Christmas morning, she held her breath waiting for his reaction. She knew he wouldn't be interested in participating in another fund-raiser, but once Rick had a good look at the new ambulance, his attitude had to change. No one could remain obstinate in the presence of such an impressive vehicle. So why, she asked herself impatiently, were her hands shaking? The worst was over. Any moment now he would set aside his stubbornness and marvel over the ambulance like everyone else. And if he could do that, anything was possible. Anything. Scooting to the open doors, she looked around for him. Under the flashing light, she met his gaze.

  "Once in a lifetime was enough for me, Liza," he said, looking at Bryn.

  Even within the broken light of the ambulance she could see his sober, ungiving expression. Nothing had changed. At the risk of appearing rude, Bryn refrained from pulling the doors closed in his face. Instead, she let his cryptic message sink like acid into her bones. The last of her hope dissolved within her, leaving her with the brutal facts.

  He didn't love her.

  He would never love her.

  He had never loved her.

  Once he'd loved Angie, and he was now telling her that one love had been enough for a lifetime. He didn't want to get seriously involved with another woman. Well, she was finally getting the message. They'd had an affair and now it was over. Over. Done with. Behind him. And from this moment on, Rick Parrish was a part of her past too. She'd never bother dragging her pride up to his door again.

  * * *

  "You've been avoiding me all week."

  Reaching for her suitcase on the shelf in her closet, Bryn froze. "How did you get in here?"

  "Pappy gave me a spare set of his house keys too. What are you doing?"

  Jerking the heavy suitcase from the shelf, she let it fall to the floor. "I'm packing my things, Rick. Right after the dedication ceremony I'm leaving." Stepping off the chair, she bent down toward the suitcase, but he kicked it behind him.

 
"Were you going to leave without seeing me?"

  "Of course not," she said, stepping around him and picking up her suitcase. "I would have seen you at the ceremony this afternoon. Unless, of course, you weren't planning to show up for that either."

  "Bryn—" he began, but stopped when she pulled away from his outstretched hand.

  "To be honest, Rick, I wanted to leave last week after I drove the ambulance down from Miami, but the committee wouldn't hear of it. They insisted I had to be here for the dedication. If you'll excuse me, I have a lot to do before then," she said, flinging the suitcase onto the bed.

  He stood by the closet door, watching her unzip her suitcase. When she ignored his further presence and started her packing in earnest, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, I'll leave you alone now, but be prepared to talk to me this afternoon."

  Straightening up, she looked him squarely in the eye. "Is that an order, Captain Parrish?"

  "Right now it's a request, but I'll make it an order if you insist," he said without a trace of humor.

  When she heard the front door close, tears stung her eyes. Rubbing them away, she turned back toward the bureau. Gathering up her hairbrush and makeup bag, she pitched them into the suitcase, then slammed the lid shut and froze. After a few seconds a strangled sound escaped her throat and she hurried for the door. Grabbing the door frame, she stopped and pressed her forehead against the backs of her hands. "No, you're not going to make a fool of yourself anymore," she told herself. In another few hours this insane need to rush after him would be behind her.

  * * *

  The applause swelled when Bryn walked up the stairs onto the stage behind Liza and the rest of the committee at four o'clock that afternoon. With a shiver of sadness, she realized she was going to miss the group she'd worked with during the summer. For all their wacky traits, they were some of the most decent people she'd ever known. As she began to carefully reminisce, Rita broke into her thoughts with the name of the one person she was trying valiantly not to think about.

  "Where's the Captain? He's supposed to be here."

  Bryn shrugged, praying wildly that no one would mention his name again.

  "Oh, I'm sure Captain Parrish will be along," Liza said, turning from the microphone toward the others. Sliding her reading glasses to the end of her nose, she looked over them at Bryn. "Are you all right, dear?"

  All right? Of course she was all right. Hadn't those cucumber slices she'd slapped on her eyelids a few hours ago taken away the puffiness? Had she forgotten how to apply camouflage makeup in barely two short months? Was Liza ever going to stop looking at her as if she were a wounded key deer floundering at her door?

  Using the last of her shredded patience, Bryn pasted on the perkiest smile she could manage. "I'm fine," she said. Looking to her left and then to her right, she smoothed the lap of her sundress and added, "We're all fine, Liza. So let's get on with it."

  Settling back against the metal folding chair, Bryn made herself listen to Liza's speech. Several times during the long and often humorous address, Liza slowly scanned the audience.

  Fidgeting in her seat, Bryn's mind began wandering again. In a few more minutes this would be over. Before the cake, punch and cold beer were served, she would be heading for her car. She'd already said her good-byes to her grandfather and the others. And since Rick hadn't bothered showing up, that was one less emotional predicament she had to deal with. At least in front of everyone. What would happen when she was alone in her car was anyone's guess.

  "Pssst."

  Lost in her thoughts, she barely heard the sound, but there was no way she could miss Rita's nudge to the side of her knee. "What is it?"

  "Wake up, sugar. Liza just introduced you."

  "What? Why?"

  "Damned if I know. Something about your last two months spent in the bosom of this loving community." Standing, Rita joined the rest of the group in a round of applause. "I can't wait to hear what you have to say."

  With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Bryn didn't bother hiding her wince. As cochair of the committee she should have known she'd be called on to speak. Unfortunately, she'd allowed her relationship with Rick to overshadow just about everything in her life lately, even her common sense. And now she was going to pay for it.

  When the applause died down and Liza had taken her seat, Bryn fiddled with the microphone until she couldn't put off speaking any longer. Looking out over the audience, at her grandfather and then the committee members sitting behind her, she finally spoke. Straight from her heart.

  "No one comes away from working on a project like this without learning something new about him or herself."

  "I couldn't agree more."

  People murmured Rick's name, but the shiver of recognition zipping up her spine would have been enough to confirm his presence if his familiar voice hadn't. From the corner of her eye she could see him several feet to her right, mounting the steps. If he would take a seat behind her, she could get through this.

  "So tell us, Bryn, what did you learn about yourself?"

  He was publicly challenging her with that teasing intimacy she knew too well. If that weren't confusing enough, he winked at her. Somewhere in this maddening situation, she grasped at her scattering sanity and held on for dear life. Looking out at the audience, she said, "I learned to loosen up."

  Stepping halfway behind her, he closed his hands over her shoulders and squeezed them gently. The crowd roared with delight and a few wolf whistles, and he leaned around her to make a disbelieving face and shake his head. Okay, so she was a little tense. What did he expect her to feel like at a time like this? Overcooked pasta?

  "Give it back to him, Brynnie!" her grandfather shouted.

  The one thing, she quickly decided, that Rick wasn't expecting was a taste of his own medicine. Leaning toward the microphone, she pitched a full bottle at him. "Perhaps you'd like to tell us what you learned, Captain Parrish?" When she started away from the microphone, he held her in front of him.

  "Among other things, I learned that backing down occasionally can be a smart move."

  When she started to step away for the second time, he held her firmly against the front of him. "I also learned that compromise is not a dirty word, except when you make the other person do most of it." Leaning close to her ear, he whispered, "Hold on, this gets better." Straightening, he maneuvered her to one side and spoke into the microphone.

  "I have to apologize to Bryn for giving her such a hard time. I put off starting this project, dragged my feet through most of it, and then I couldn't seem to let go of it. I hope she forgives me." Pausing for a perfectly timed punch line, he smiled and said, "Because I'd hate to be on Pappy's bad side now that the Crab Shack's reopened."

  When the laughter died down, Rick continued. "I'd also like to let Liza know that she can take a break from committee organizing, at least where ambulance equipment is concerned. I'm donating the necessary funds to pay for the equipment."

  Thunderous applause drowned out Bryn's response, but he didn't mind. She could tell him later. When they were alone and he had told her everything else. Raising his hand for silence, he asked, "Did I see a key lime pie with my name on it around here somewhere?"

  Liza stepped up to the microphone. "You did, Captain. Let's all adjourn to the Crab Shack."

  After a half dozen thank-yous, Liza and the rest of the committee streamed off the platform, leaving Rick and Bryn alone. He watched her strain for something to say, wishing she wasn't still so uncomfortable with him. After a few seconds she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked up at him.

  "That was very kind of you to donate your money for the equipment. I'm sure people here are extremely grateful for your generosity. I really need to get going. Good-bye, Rick."

  "Hold on, there," he said, pulling her back from the steps. "Since I'm in such a kind and generous mood, I have something for you too."

  "What?" she asked, studying him with suspicion.

&nbs
p; "A boat ride on the Coral Kiss."

  He saw her eyes light with surprise, then dim with doubt.

  "You told me you never use that boat for—well, that you only use it for business."

  "I'm backing down on that rule, too."

  She gave him an indecisive look, then shook her head. "I'd better not. I have a long drive ahead of me."

  His arm shot out, blocking her way down the steps. "Uh-uh."

  "What are you doing?" she asked incredulously.

  Cocking his chin, he ran his tongue over the edges of his teeth. "Sorry, but I'm pulling rank on you. You have a boat to catch."

  "Rick, no. If I go with you, we'll—"

  "What will we do?" he asked, his heart hammering against his rib cage. Moving toward her, he cupped her face in both hands. "Make love? Say it, Bryn."

  "No," she said, avoiding his smile as she attempted to push him out of the way. "I'd rather be forced to watch the weather channel with my eyes glued open."

  "Once we're back, you can do what you want," he said, taking her hands and holding them against his chest. "Right now we have a few more things to talk about."

  "You cannot make me get on that boat if I don't want to."

  "Of course I can," he said, leading her down the stairs and into the palm grove. "Captain's orders."

  She stopped struggling when she spotted Liza and Pappy leaning over the upstairs rail, waving at them. "I'm only going with you because I don't want to make a scene in front of these people. I don't think this is funny. You ought to be ashamed of yourself—"

  "I am," he said pleasantly. "Very ashamed. I thought I'd developed sufficient charm to get you on the boat with a simple request, but I was wrong. I've had to order you on."

  She didn't say another word until they were well out of the marina and nearing what had to be Alligator Reef.