by Ruby Rowe
I find the courage to look up at him, and as his gaze meets mine, I can no longer move my feet. It’s as if his piercing eyes are both the sky and the ocean, and I’ve become trapped between the two.
“Breathe, Sailor Girl.”
I exhale. “I’ve waited ten years to hear you call me that again.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long. Fuck, Sailor, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t. Just kiss me.” His long lashes flutter as he processes the words I don’t believe he was expecting to hear. Wetting his lips, he ducks his head to capture my mouth, and I open it for him, eagerly wanting a taste.
He takes over, kissing me like it’s his one and only shot, and as we make out in the dimly lit living room, it’s as if he’s giving me ten years of missing kisses. I whimper, the urgency to accept them as surprising as my ability to forgive him.
I forgive you, Elliott. Give me all your kisses.
Elliott
For over a decade, I’ve been going through the motions while living in a constant state of unsettledness. I felt like my life was off its axis, and I was suspended in time while the clock kept ticking.
Now, it all makes sense. I was lost without Sailor. She was my anchor, but it wasn’t enough to save me since we were forced to be apart.
Having dreamt of this moment for years, I’m determined to make it last. I kiss her harder, exploring every part of her mouth. Every whimper against my tongue makes my dick ache that much more, and as it strains against my khakis, I groan.
Sailor releases my lips. “We have to slow down.”
“Why?”
“Because I won’t be able to stop if we do this much longer.”
“We don’t have to stop.”
Gripping my biceps, she pushes me back.
“Trust, Elliott. I told you it was going to take some time. I can’t give you more of me when there’s a chance it could all fall apart.”
I tilt her chin. “Look at me. Things aren’t like they were before. We’re adults and can do whatever the hell we want.”
“Not without consequences. Do you even care about Jake?”
“I do, but he’s with different women all the time. I couldn’t keep count if I tried.”
“Are you saying I mean nothing to him?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. We’ve barely spoken about it, so although he said he cared about you, I wasn’t sure if he meant it, and besides, you and I have a history. Jake just met you, so I’m sure I could get him to see reason.”
“Maybe I’m naïve and completely reading him wrong, but he makes me feel special. I think you’re underestimating his reaction to this new development.”
“Maybe, but even if Jake gets pissed at me, he’d respect your decision, and it’s yours to make.”
“And it’s too soon for me to make it.” She cradles my cheek and smiles. “We had a great date, and I want it to happen again, but I need time to figure out what happens beyond that. After ten years of your radio silence, I think I deserve that much.”
Needing one more kiss, in case it’s the last, I gently press my lips to hers.
“I’m sorry I’ve been pushy. I thought this day would never come, and now that it’s here, I’m scared it’s a day too late.”
“I don’t think it’s too late, but I can’t make you promises, either.”
“OK. For now, will you continue dancing with me?”
Her smile returns. “I’d like that.”
I’m determined to spend as much time with Sailor as I can, and while we sway to the music, holding each other close, I consider telling her why I didn’t reach out to her all those years.
Our families convinced me it was for the best, and I believed them. I thought when Sailor looked at me, she’d only think of the accident or her dead sister, along with the blame she decided to carry for me.
And I guess if I’m honest, I thought she’d always be a reminder of the lie I let her tell. I thought not being in her life would make the shame easier for me to live with, but life’s never been easier. I’ve missed her for a decade and lived with crippling guilt.
I had no idea Sailor loved me so much, and I never fathomed not contacting her would hurt her to the degree that it has.
If I’d been braver all those years ago and followed my fucking heart, everything could’ve been different. Maybe Sailor would be mine today.
“Elliott, come back to me. We’re no longer dancing.” I look down, and she’s staring up at me with concern. We’re standing still, and I’m shaking. “Were you thinking about the accident again?”
“I was thinking about how I should’ve handled the past differently. I can hardly stomach the regret I feel.”
“All we can do is move forward, and I’m trying, but right now, I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed.”
I kiss her forehead. “Thank you for this evening … for giving me a chance.”
“I missed you,” she whispers before hugging my body tightly. If it starts looking like I could lose her, I’m telling her the truth: her parents knew all these years that she didn’t cause the wreck. Not wanting her to think the worst of them, I kept my silence and stayed away, but I refuse to lose her again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Sailor
As my students filter into the classroom, I welcome them and give reminders about putting their backpacks and jackets away in their cubbies. I also give them instructions on what to do with their homework.
I glance at the clock. I’m nervous this morning over seeing Jake. He’s going to show up with Maddie any minute, and my head is reeling over what transpired this weekend with Elliott.
I woke up yesterday morning to find out he was called into work. He left a sticky note on my bathroom mirror again, telling me what a great a time he had and how he was nervous about me spending time with Jake. He also asked that I not have too much fun with him.
I felt guilty knowing he’d worry about how close Jake and I were getting while he was away, and I was even wondering if I’d feel the same about Jake once I talked to him again.
But as soon as he began texting me yesterday, warming my heart and making me happy with his funny and sexy banter, I knew my feelings hadn’t changed.
The nervous stomach and grinning on my end were still present, along with the fond memories of our intimate time together. I’ve gotten myself into a complicated triangle, and one of the sides is walking through the door now.
Jake shoots me a grin before he squats to give Maddie a hug. I cover my stomach, feeling it flutter over the sight of his handsome face and the secret I’m keeping. With his hands stuck loosely in his front jeans pockets, he strides over to my desk.
“Morning, Teach. I’d give you a kiss, but I figure that’s frowned upon.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I’m headed to work, too. Will you be home tonight?”
“Yep.”
“Good. I’m cooking for you this time, so don’t be late.” He winks at me before he struts out the door, his ass looking amazing.
Fuck, we’re going to make out, or maybe do more, and I’ll have kissed two guys within a couple of days. I’ve never done that before. Not ever.
Jake
While Sailor’s in her room grading papers, I wave my hands in the air to clear out some of the billowing smoke coming off the gas grill on the terrace.
I’m cooking her steak because I guess that’s what I do now. I think about one woman only, day in and day out, and have this overwhelming desire to make her as happy as possible.
I missed Sailor like crazy over the weekend, and it took all my strength not to take Maddie over to the condo to see her. I decided Sailor and I both needed space to see if our connection was simply a strong attraction or something more, and at least for me, it’s more, and I’m hoping she feels the same.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, so I close the lid on the grill and pull out my cell.
Elliott: I had my mom fix up Sailor’s bedroom. I thought I should l
et you know before you saw it and questioned her about it.
Me: OK. Why did you do that?
Elliott: One, the room looked like shit. She deserves better if she’s going to live with us. Two, I still feel like I owe her for the past.
Me: We’ve been over this. She chose to drive you and Rebecca home that night. It was an accident.
Elliott: Just don’t give her shit about the room. It wasn’t her idea.
Me: Why would I give her shit about it?
Elliott: What are you up to this evening?
Me: I’m cooking Sailor dinner. Since when do you care what I’m doing?
Elliott: I have to go.
OK, that was weird. I shove my phone in my back pocket and check the steaks again. I want a look at this room now, but I’m too worried I’ll screw up dinner.
I told my mom about Sailor this weekend and how I was going to try to cook for her today. She insisted I let her make one of her specialty dishes for us, which is a cold pasta salad. I didn’t turn her down since I’m not the most experienced cook.
Taking the steaks off the grill, I walk inside and find Sailor sautéing string green beans. I’d told her what I was fixing, and she took it upon herself to help.
“You couldn’t let me do it, could you?” I ask.
“Nope. Helping is in my nature.”
“I believe it. After seeing you on the job, it would have to be. I don’t know how you do it. Maddie is a handful, and she’s a good kid. One good kid.”
Sailor snickers. “I do have a few who are already testing my patience.”
“I can’t picture you angry at any of them, but you can tell me about it over dinner. Let’s eat.” Since it’s raining today, we sit in the dining room.
I ask her questions about teaching, but I can’t stop thinking about Elliott’s messages. Something doesn’t feel right about him decorating her room. It’s got my nerves on edge and so does a question I need to ask her.
“I was wondering if you’d go to a party with me in a couple of weeks,” I say.
“What kind of party?”
“I don’t think you’re gonna want to go, but I believe it would be good for you if you did.”
“Whose party, Jake?”
“It’s Thatcher’s engagement party. I can’t believe he’s settling down before me. It’s shocking.”
“I don’t know.” Sailor bows her head. “I haven’t seen him or his friends–our old friends–in years.”
“No one is going to judge you, so I think facing this fear would be good for you. You’ll see you have nothing to worry about. Besides, I need the hottest date in the city, and that’s you.” I flash her a grin, hoping like hell it’ll win her over.
She twirls her fork in her food. “I said it was a time of change, so as long as you’re with me, I’ll try.”
“Awesome, and thank you.”
“Is Elliott going, too?”
“He said he doubted it, but you never know with him. It always depends on his mood and if he can leave the hospital.”
She nods, still staring at her plate. “Do you want kids?” she asks unexpectedly.
“I never gave it much thought until I started caring for Maddie. It would scare the shit out of me, but I think I’d like to have them at some point. What about you?”
“I want at least two, but like you said, it would be scary.”
“You’d make an amazing mother.”
“Thank you, but teaching kids and raising them are not the same thing.”
“You’re a kind, nurturing person. That’s what matters. Um, I forgot to tell you that Elliott messaged me.”
“Oh … what did he want?”
“He told me about decorating your bedroom.”
“Um, yeah, it was a nice surprise. You’ll have to see it. It’s beautiful.”
“That was generous of him. I’m guessing you two talked this weekend then.”
“We did. We discussed some of what happened years ago so that we can move on like you suggested.”
I nod. “That’s good. Was anyone else over this weekend, like Nicole?”
“Nope.” She holds up her fork. “Oh, wait, my friend Carrie was here Saturday, and we went shopping. I bought more clothes. You would’ve teased me for sure if you saw all the bags.” She grins, and it eases my nerves.
“I wish I could’ve met her, and I’m glad you and Elliott worked shit out. I want you to feel comfortable here.”
“I’m comfortable when I’m spending time with you.” Reaching across the table, she grasps my hand. “It feels easy and natural. It makes me happy.”
“That’s good to hear, and the dishes will have to wait. I have a strong urge to kiss you for being so damn sweet.”
Sailor
Walking to my side of the table, Jake holds his hand out for me to take. I stand, and my first thought is of Elliott while he was holding me close and kissing me in the next room, but the second Jake’s lips are against mine, I’m grounded to the moment, forgetting everything else.
He squeezes my waist before he slides his hand over my ass to ensure it’s not left out. Jake’s always smooth with his moves, like he knows exactly what to do to turn a girl on and make her give him what he wants.
He tantalizes me with precise strokes of his tongue, making me fantasize about his straight A skills. I whimper from what an amazing kisser he is and how his hands move along my body, touching, caressing and squeezing all the right places.
Pulling him closer, I loop my arms tighter around his neck, and he groans in my mouth. I want Jake, and I need him right now to show me how much he enjoys spending time with me, too.
Like he read my mind, he picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me to his room without breaking our kiss and lightly kicks his door to open it.
“I don’t know if this would be in a roommate agreement,” I murmur against his lips. Lowering me onto the bed, he removes his shirt as I stare up at his pristine physique.
“I’m not Sheldon Cooper. My roommate agreement is far laxer. I’ll even share my toothbrush if you need it.” Winking, he leans over and kisses my stomach where my t-shirt has ridden up.
He unbuttons my denim shorts, unzipping them next, and I inhale sharply as he tugs to pull them down my legs and over my bare feet.
“Does that mean you’ll share your favorite song, too, and sing “Soft Kitty” to me?” I ask.
“I’ll do one better. I’ll pet and lick your kitty.”
My eyebrows lift as I feel the blush come to the surface of my cheeks.
“You’re so bad.”
“And I think you like it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Jake
Sailor grins at me like she so often does.
“You’re funny, and happiness exudes from you like you’re a beacon of light, and I can’t resist running toward it.”
Smirking at her, I plant my hands on my hips.
“Woman, do you want me curled up in your lap in tears, watching the Hallmark Channel, or do you want my hard cock inside you? And you better decide fast since the Master of Ceremonies is about to bust from my jeans.”
With even rounder eyes, she giggles.
“Your cock for sure, but maybe it belongs in my mouth instead.”
“I don’t do maybes, remember?”
“Oh, right, then I want your cock in my mouth.”
Scooting down toward me, Sailor sits up at the edge of the bed. She unbuttons my jeans and tilts her eyes up to see if I approve.
My smile disappears, my lips resting in a straight line, as I convey all my thoughts through my eyes instead, and they’re saying yes, please suck my dick.
Her gaze stays fixed on mine as she pulls down my jeans and boxer briefs. She takes hold of my shaft at the base and tightens her hand around it. Hissing, I grab hold of her shiny hair at each side and clutch it as she takes me into her mouth.
Shit, my legs shake instantly as she sucks and moves her lips up and down me fi
rmly. She swirls her tongue around the wet tip and strokes the front of my cock with her fingers, along my raised vein, and I growl from how incredible and different it feels.
It makes me want her entire smoldering mouth over me, so I push her head, signaling for her to take all my length. She gives me what I want, and the heat, the pressure, and the sucking from her wet, plump lips is fan-fucking-tastic.
Yes…
My legs tremble again as I get close to coming. I grip her hair harder, and she takes me in even deeper.
“I’m gonna come.” Sailor slips a hand around to my ass, and clenching a cheek, she brings my body even closer to her mouth, letting me know she’s not letting go.
Unable to last a second longer, I close my eyes and come, the dizziness taking over. Fucking hell, she’s good at that.
***
“The Master of Ceremonies would get a standing ovation if I could move my legs,” Sailor says breathlessly after I made her orgasm with my talented mouth. I’ve decided hers is way more skilled than mine, though. Damn, she can give an amazing blow job.
I pull her to me, and she rests her head on my chest.
“OK, we can have girl-talk now, where you tell me how I exude happiness or whatever shit it was.” Her giggle vibrates against my heart, and fuck, it’s feeling all sorts of things it shouldn’t. At least, I think it shouldn’t, not this soon, anyway.
“I don’t want to scare you off,” she replies.
“Not possible.”
“I don’t know about that. If you’re used to variety, you’re going to get tired of my few moves.”
“Did Elliott feed you bullshit about my dating habits?”
“Only that you don’t keep women around.”
“He’s one to talk. Nicole’s not the only woman who frequents his bed. I’ll have to ask him why the hell he’s breaking bro code and telling my secrets. Where’s the loyalty?”
I feel Sailor’s body stiffen before she clears her throat.