DIRE : HELL (The Dire Saga Book 6)

by Andrew Seiple

  They took the hint and trampled each other on their way out the exits. I sighed and closed the cannon-targeting system I’d pulled up earlier, before my speech.

  It had almost been a monologue. The asshole wouldn’t stop interrupting me. Gods, I missed fighting heroes.

  I snapped Khalid’s chains first, then got to work on the Chorus. Khalid stopped me, with a hand on my shoulder. “EH?”

  “Please. See to the children first.”

  I followed his gaze upward. “SHE’LL GET TO THEM SHORTLY—”

  “Now. Please. I must insist. I promised them I would save them from what suffering I could.”

  “NOT A GOOD PROMISE TO MAKE, DOWN HERE.” But I did as he asked, ripping the chains from them, holding them to me and flying back down to the table. We had to dump plates full of roasted corpses off to make room for them. “WHO WERE THESE ASSCLOWNS ANYWAY?”

  “House Garlam is one of the largest trade syndicates within the realm of Sloth,” First Manifesto intoned. “They have attempted to bribe me on numerous occasions.” The chains leading into his mask rattled as he watched me. “Sometimes successfully.”

  “LARGEST TRADE SYNDICATE...” I got the eighth child down, then freed my Chorus. “THIS MIGHT BE THE BREAK WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR.”

  “I hope so,” Beta said. “Epsilon will feel better if his sacrifice was worthwhile.”

  “VERY WORTHWHILE.” I freed the two court demons and immediately got a bosom full of crying demon as First Whisper threw herself into my arms. “WHAT? GAH! STOP THAT!”

  “I knew you wouldn’t let us die!”

  “ACTUALLY DIRE WOULD HAVE, IF IT CAME DOWN TO IT. YOU’VE DONE NOTHING TO EARN HER LOYALTY.” I pried her off me, but gently. “BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU’VE DONE NOTHING TO EARN HER ENMITY. AND THAT’S A STARTING POINT WE CAN WORK FROM. ESPECIALLY NOW THAT DIRE KNOWS YOU DID NOT BETRAY HER TO MIDBOSS.”

  “His name was—”

  “STILL DON’T CARE.” I flapped a gauntlet at her. “ARE WE READY TO START THE LOOTING?”

  “Go ahead without me,” Khalid said, sitting next to the mostly-unconscious forms of the children. “I wish to be here when they waken. Ah! Please keep an eye out for my weapons and equipment.”

  “ONE UTILITY BELT, COMING RIGHT UP.”

  We tore the manor apart, and there, in one of the lowest vaults, I found what I’d been looking for.

  “What is this?” First Whisper asked, as I bore the enormous scroll of human-skin leather out into the now-empty courtyard and unrolled it.

  “It’s a map,” First Manifesto breathed, catching my enthusiasm and scrambling to grab an edge, unrolling it further. My remaining Chorus did the same, and I felt sheer glee rise through my body, drowning out the fatigue.

  “IT’S BETTER THAN A MAP,” I said, rubbing my gauntlets together. “IT’S THE MAP!”

  It spread out before us, ring after ring, inked circle after inked circle, and Khalid nodded next to me. “Tabula Infernum,” he whispered.

  “THE MAP OF ALL HELL.” I examined it, hovered over it, and took high-resolution pictures until I was satisfied I had it all. Then I cackled and took to the sky.

  “AND NOW WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED TO MOVE TO PHASE TWO!”

  CHAPTER 9: DEPARTURES AND DESCENT

  “The adventuring party structure is best for those who are beginning player characters. It gives their inevitable foes and rivals a moving target. As opposed to those who would claim a kingdom. They then must then defend it, and the campaign changes irrevocably.”

  --Excerpt from the third book of the Chronicles of the Shared Lie: Kingdom Management

  Three Striges bobbed in the sky above Caym, and I’d never seen a lovelier sight in my life. Beaky was familiar to me, but the other two, though a bit smaller, were just as heartening.

  “You’ve outdone yourself,” I voxed to Professor Vector.

  “Thanks. Sorry it took this long.”

  “Were the Spitters able to clear the parasites without damaging the internal structures?”

  “Pretty much. Well, these two, anyway. Another Strix died horribly in the middle of their clean-out. I think there was enough genetic difference there that we triggered an allergic reaction.”

  “This will do. Three is plenty.” I stretched within my armor, walked to the balcony of my royal quarters.

  “So, ah, how did the city react when the river of blood dried up?”

  “Mm.” I turned my gaze to the foundry in the center of the city, great stone crushers still now that their driving fluid was a clotted scab at the bottom of an empty channel. “The populace reacted about as well as any human population when their jobs and livelihoods are abruptly threatened by an unforeseen event beyond their control.”

  “Good Christ,” Vector whispered. “It’s a wonder this city is still standing.”

  “For a while there it got fairly ugly. Dire used the opportunity to test her demonic companions.”

  “I’m not seeing what Thirteenth Chain or The Cat could bring to the table there.”

  “The Cat can be heard regardless of how loudly a mob is shouting. And Thirteenth Chain’s more or less a local celebrity ever since his Monsters and Mangonels character pulled off that critical hit on a minotaur and saved the whole party a few games back.”

  “A minotaur? What the fuck?”

  I smirked. “Dire knows. The whole affair with M&M is rather silly, in the grand scheme of—”

  Vector interrupted me, his tone heated. “Those things are way beyond our challenge rating right now! We’re level three, for God’s sakes. I’m going to have a long talk with Delta, next session.”

  I blinked. “Ah. Well, at any rate, that helped defuse some of the riots. Then we introduced the idea of money, followed by a monthly stipend for every individual who could jump through the appropriate bureaucratic hoops, and a reassurance that the river would be back shortly.”

  “So you introduced capitalism, socialism, and political promises to them, all in the same afternoon. Pretty evil.”

  “It was either that or wade through oceans of demon blood. That we then could have used to restart the foundry, so Dire supposes some good would have come of it.” I left my room, descended the tower stairs as my honor guard gathered around me. Cassius was on duty this time around, along with a few more Damned I didn’t recognize. I nodded in satisfaction.

  “FETCH DIRE’S DEMONS,” I ordered. “TO THE SILENT CHAMBER, SHE THINKS. WHAT WE HAVE TO DISCUSS IS BEST DONE IN SECRET.”

  The silent chamber squatted, hot and stuffy, in the highest room of the tower. It was lined with sheets of lead, from the tip of the arched ceiling to the heavy hatches that sealed it off from the rest of the structure. It wasn’t exactly soundproof, but between that and the white noise generator app I ran through my speakers, it would do.

  Well, against anything but sorcery and other cheaty magic, but whatever. Khalid could cover that or not, as he chose.

  I ran a finger over the symbols carved into my armor, while I mulled that over. He’d assured me these would help against non-physically-grounded spells. Wouldn’t stop magical arrows from doing a number on me again, but in the event we ran into a halfway-competent sorcerer, it’d crimp their style a bit.

  “Come on up,” I voxed Khalid and Vector. “Heavy shit to discuss.”

  The demons came up the ladder one by one. The Cat, hanging around the shoulders of his servant, was the first. “SHE STAYS OUTSIDE,” I told him, and she went without having to be told twice. Thirteenth Chain came next, scaling the ladder with wiry ease. Then First Manifesto, with some trouble, and lastly, First Whisper. She took her time on the ladder. I sighed and rolled my eyes away from the heavy gap of her cleavage. The girl just wouldn’t get the hint.

  Janissary and Vector showed up last, Vector grinning like a maniac and carefully hauling a sack along over one shoulder.

  “NO CHAIRS UP HERE, SORRY. DO THE BEST YOU CAN.” I settled cross-legged against a wall, leaning into the curve of it. T
he others followed suit. It was a round minaret up here, much smaller than the rest of the tower. We could actually hear each other without shouting. Well, they could anyway. My sensors made it a moot point for me.

  Everyone looked to me. I smiled, under my mask. “THE TIME HAS COME TO SPEAK OF THE FUTURE. YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THE NEW STRIGES. ONCE THEY ARE PREPARED FOR WAR, DIRE SHALL TAKE HER FLYING FLEET DOWN BELOW, THROUGH THE WRATHLANDS, TO THE GATES OF DIS AND BEYOND.”

  First Manifesto inhaled sharply through his mask. His eye socket-chains clinked as he looked at First Whisper, and she looked back to him.

  “Yes, this would be the end of the truce between you,” Khalid spoke, smiling without mirth.

  “You know of that?” First Whisper arched an eyebrow his way, stretching sinuously.

  “IT WASN’T HARD TO FIGURE OUT. THE ROOM WAS FULL OF COURTIERS WHEN ILLWRACK HAD HIS LAST AUDIENCE WITH DIRE. THEN DIRE TAKES OVER, AND ONLY TWO ARE LEFT.”

  First Manifesto lifted his gauntleted hand, palm up. “There may have been some... consolidation.”

  “IN ANY CASE, IT HAS WORKED OUT. HOWEVER, FUTURE CONFLICT WILL NOT. WE ARE GOING TO DEPART AND LEAVE THE ADMINISTRATION OF THIS CITY TO TWO OF YOU.”

  “Without their truce, it will be one soon enough,” The Cat pointed out. “Without you there, they have no incentive to stay unified.”

  “YOU’RE ASSUMING THAT DIRE IS TALKING ABOUT LEAVING THE CITY TO BOTH OF THEM.”

  My mask turned to regard Thirteenth Chain, and his sallow, glowing eyes opened wide in shock. “Me?”

  “YOU AND ONE MORE.” I looked back to First Manifesto and First Whisper, who were sitting bolt upright, staring at the rough-riding hunter of the Damned like he’d grown angel wings. “BUT WHICH ONE, THAT HAS YET TO BE DETERMINED.”

  It wasn’t, not really, but this was one final test. I had to be sure, one way or the other, that my instincts were correct.

  “Why him?” First Whisper spoke. “He’s... a Thirteenth mark. A nobody. Even if he wasn’t, he knows nothing of ruling a city like Caym.”

  “It’s because the masses love him. His imaginary human, the ranger in the game, has won the hearts of the hellions for his valor.” First Manifesto sighed and sunk his mask into his hands. “Whoever of us ends up with him, we can’t kill him without bringing the ire of the populace down on our heads.”

  “But... if you leave, Delta will go with you,” Thirteenth Chain spoke. “What becomes of the game then?”

  “ACTUALLY, SHE WON’T. NOT COMPLETELY. IN THE ROOMS DIRE HAS SEALED, SHE HAS BUILT A GREAT ENGINE, A THINKING ENGINE. IT WILL SUPPORT A COPY OF DELTA AND LET THIS COPY ANIMATE A SHELL OF HER OWN. SHE WILL CONTINUE TO RUN THE GAME, FOR THOSE WHO STAY. YOUR FAME WILL CONTINUE, SO LONG AS YOU PLAY WELL. YOU WILL BE SAFE FROM THE KNIVES OF YOUR EXPERIENCED COURTIER ASSISTANT... WITHIN REASON, OH KING.”

  I had no fucking clue why they’d taken to Monsters and Mangonels with such enthusiasm, but I would happily use that for any advantage I could get.

  I turned to the two courtiers. “SHE WILL ALSO, AS NEEDED, PUPPET A COPY OF DIRE HERSELF.”

  “Ah.” First Whisper breathed. “You will depart in secret then, and leave this behind so no one is the wiser. Magnificent.”

  “This copy... it shall be as powerful as you?” First Manifesto wondered aloud.

  “NO. BUT POWERFUL ENOUGH TO SLAY SOMETHING ON ILLWRACK’S SCALE.” Probably. Maybe. I couldn’t duplicate all of my weaponry and systems, not with the tools and materials and time that I had to allocate to it. But what the demons didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. “NOT THAT IT’LL BE NEEDED. FOR SURELY NO ONE WILL TRY TO ASSASSINATE OR USURP HER CHOSEN CHANCELLORS.”

  “Secret Kings, under the thumb of your whims and directives,” The Cat purred. “I almost regret not being in the running. But who needs that kind of stress in their life, hm?” He patted Thirteenth Chain with a paw. “Oh don’t look so worried. You’ll enjoy it. Perhaps even get a shot at the higher quality spawning pits that our dead companions kept going on about.”

  “YOU GET A CHOICE,” I told The Cat. “STAY OR GO WITH THE CONQUERING FLEET, AS YOU CHOOSE. IF YOU COME WITH US, WE WILL BIND YOU AND USE YOUR TALENTS FOR OUR GAIN.”

  “Binding?” The Cat frowned, an oddly human expression on its feline face. “How? We are in Hell. Binding is for demons in Creation.”

  “DIRE’S METHOD OF BINDING IS UNIVERSAL.” I held up a spiky collar. “THIS WILL EXPLODE AT DIRE’S WHIM.”

  “Ah,” First Whisper breathed, her bosom expanding as a smug smile crept across her face. “I was wondering about you, oh queen. Your pleasures begin to reveal themselves.”

  “KEEP WONDERING.” I rolled my eyes.

  “A three-way sharing of power. By which I mean you’ll maintain your power, with two scapegoats should this method fail.” First Manifesto pulled out his book, riffled through the pages, then nodded. “This model will suffice for a time. Not eternally.”

  “IT WILL SUFFICE FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN KEEP IT RUNNING.”

  Chains jangled as he considered me. “Do you mean ‘you’ as in demons in general, or...”

  “YOU ARE HER CHOICE TO BE FIRST CHAIN’S VIZIER.”

  Thirteenth— no, First Chain straightened up. “Can she do that? Make me a First?”

  “Is she your Lord?”

  “YES. BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST.” The army had rolled across his old Riding earlier this week. It had taken copious losses but slaughtered its way through the opposition. His old Lord was dead.

  I smiled as First Manifesto explained that to him. I’d made the correct choice. I’d only learned the news this morning... the masked demon definitely had a lot of spies. Good. He’d need them for the times ahead.

  “THEN THAT’S SETTLED. LET’S—”

  “A moment, Doctor,” First Whisper prostrated herself. “I wish to speak.”

  “AND WHY SHOULD SHE LET YOU DO THAT?”

  “I’m dead if you don’t listen.”

  I was tempted to dismiss her. But she hadn’t betrayed me. Yet. And I’d given her ample opportunity to do so.

  “ALL RIGHT. MAKE IT QUICK.”

  “Give me one of those collars and let me go with you.”

  I looked to Khalid. And to my surprise, he nodded.

  “DONE. SAME DEAL AS THE CAT.”

  The tension oozed out of her like intestines from a cut belly. “Just like that?”

  “JUST LIKE THAT.”

  “You will not regret it, Doctor.”

  “MAKE SURE SHE DOES NOT.” I waved a gauntlet, gesturing from her to The Cat. “YOU ARE DISMISSED. GO MAKE READY FOR YOUR JOURNEY. WE LEAVE IN A FEW DAYS.”

  Then, after much negotiation with the Grimalkin, First Whisper agreed to carry the pseudo-feline down the ladder.

  But he turned before leaping into her arms and scrutinized me, tail lashing.

  “WHAT?”

  “I still do not know what you are.”

  “SHE IS DIRE.”

  “Yes. But... your thoughts...” He shook his head. “You have worlds within you.”

  I felt annoyance, and I didn’t know why. “GO.”

  Once they were gone, I closed the hatch again and turned to First Manifesto and the newly-promoted First Chain. “YOU HAVE CONCERNS.”

  “This entire city has concerns.” First Manifesto said, snapping his book shut. “The stored meat won’t last forever; the river that is our livelihood is gone, and every neighboring city worth their damnation will take your conquest as a sign of weakness. They don’t know you. They will think we are weak for losing to a mortal, and they will rip us to shreds like screamkillers on a burren.”

  “ON THE THIRD PART, DIRE WILL SHOW THEM. WE’RE GOING TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OF THE FIRST INVADING ARMY ON OUR WAY OUT.” Those guys at the bottom of the cliff were mustering quickly and sinking massive pitons in the first few hundred feet of the rock. They were wasting no time, so I’d waste them.

  “AS TO THE SANGUINE RIVER... IT SHALL RETURN. SOON. LISTEN FOR THE THUNDER.”
<
br />   “That’s ominous. And the matter of starvation?”

  I looked toward Vector. The man was curled up, glasses off, dead to the world.

  “AHEM.” I leaned over and nudged him.

  “Hm? What?”

  “THE FRUIT?”

  “Ah. Right.” Vector stretched, then opened up the sack he’d brought with him. “So, First Chain mentioned growing crops. These are those.”

  “No they’re not,” First Chain said, reaching in and pulling out something that looked like a pissed-off pineapple that had been through a deep-fryer. “It’s much bigger than a kulpa.”

  “...if you’d let me finish,” Vector sneered, “I could explain that I’d worked my science upon these. They’ll grow in a third of the time, yield about four times the nutrition, and taste about the same. And this is just one of the crops I developed while I was out in the field, hunting more striges. All in all I’ve got four viable strains. Including one that should make a mean beer.”

  “AND THAT’LL BE YOUR CHIEF EXPORT AND REASON FOR THE NEARBY CITY-STATES TO AVOID KILLING YOU. JUST THREATEN TO BURN THE FIELDS IF THEY INVADE YOU.”

  “What is beer?” First Manifesto asked.

  “I’ll give you a recipe,” Vector’s sneer turned into an honest grin. “Believe me, it’ll be worth the effort.”

  I stood and stretched. “THAT SHOULD ABOUT WRAP IT UP.”

  “Ah,” First Chain said, standing. “Will Cassius and Juno remain behind?”

  “NO. THEY ARE COMING WITH THE INVASION FORCE.”

  “Oh.”

  “You are sad,” Khalid murmured. “Why are you sad?”

  “I... the game won’t be the same without them. Or Hoomin the thief.”

  “YOU WILL MISS THEM.”

  “Well. Yes.”

  “WHEN YOU FIRST MET JUNO YOU PUT HER INTO A TORTURE RACK. THEN YOU WENT TO ROUND UP THE REST OF THEIR FRIENDS.”

  “It was a holding rack, so they wouldn’t escape again. Those things are a pain to transport, but it’s the only way to make sure the Damned don’t flee the chains. But that was back before the game. Before they saved Azrak’s life.”

  “WHO?”