by Unknown
Even though I’d been trying desperately to keep Josh at arm’s length, I could feel him slowly creeping into my heart. The crack in my wall was spreading fast; faster than I could ever have planned. He walked over without a word and gently wiped the tears from my face before resting his hand against my cheek. For just a moment, I closed my eyes and nuzzled against the palm of his hand. I yielded to his touch and breathed in the moment. Right then and there I told myself I would try for him. I would try for what could one day be us. I would try because I no longer wanted my life to stay exactly as it was. I wanted more. I wanted love. I wanted this, and if any man was worth the risk, it was Joshua Griffin.
When I opened my eyes, Josh was gazing at me, studying my face as his eyes danced from each feature before resting on my mouth before he leaned in and placed a gentle peck on my lips. A series of tender kisses followed on each of my tear stained cheeks before he met my mouth again and engulfing it in passionate, deep exploration. Josh ran his hands slowly down my back and rested them against the curve of my backside. My body went limp as I closed my eyes and pressed in closer to him. My arms made their way around his neck as my fingers mingled in his short brown hair. His mouth was irresistible to me. I couldn’t help but taste it. Top lip. Bottom lip. Nibbling and sucking hungrily. My fear had melted away with my resolve, and I wanted him to throw me down right there and make me sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow!
It wasn’t until Josh pulled back that I even considered the fact that we were still in the museum. “Whoa, we’d better take it easy,” his eyes scanned cautiously as he checked for spectators. “We wouldn’t want to give any little kids an extra biology lesson.”
Josh was right even though I found myself once again worked into a fiery chaos. I knew he couldn’t put it out, at least not here and not now. He kissed me once more and said softly, “Come on, let’s go see what’s in the basket. I don’t know about you, but I could eat that camel back there!” He nodded in the direction of the last exhibit. “I brought picnic food and a blanket but I had a table set up in case you weren’t into sitting on the floor. I know you weren’t sure what to wear, so I wanted to be prepared for anything in case you decided to surprise me with some sexy-assed mini dress or something,” he teased. I rolled my eyes and began rummaging through the basket. It was filled with deli meats, cheeses, hard salami, rye bread, French bread and crackers. He’d also packed grapes, strawberries, sliced pineapple, olives and an assortment of condiments. A bottle of Dom Pérignon Rosé and two champagne glasses sat at the center of the gorgeous table draped with an embroidered gold tablecloth. “This all looks delicious Josh! I’m fine with lying on the floor! Can we lay under the prism?” I handed him the blanket. “Here, lay it out and I’ll grab the basket. I am beyond ravenous!” It was true. I hadn’t eaten a single thing since the half a bagel earlier today, and even that had been recompense for the fact that I’d flushed any previous contents of my stomach down the drain that morning.
Josh spread the blanket on the ground, and I met him with the basket, champagne and glasses. He sprawled out on the blanket, and I laid down beside him. I flipped open the lid of the basket and began pulling food out while he set out the plates and poured the champagne. When I was done with organizing the spread by food group, Josh chuckled and handed me a glass. “What? It just made sense to lay them out that way.” I smirked as I took a sip of the champagne.
He laughed again. “Of course it did. It looks great. Now let’s get some food on these plates!” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I popped open the carton of strawberries and found the biggest, reddest, ripest berry and brushed it across my pouty lips as I eyed Josh intently.
“Have some?” I taunted as I tasted the tip of the berry with my tongue. Josh’s eyes were fixated on my mouth as I bit the berry and sucked the juice off my lips. I extended the berry, what was left of it anyway, toward his mouth, hoping that he might take a bite. Or maybe even invite me to take a bite with him, but to my dismay he grabbed the berry from my fingers and popped the entire thing into his mouth. Not too keen on innuendo I see. I shook my head slightly.
“Thanks,” he said between bites with a content grin on his face that let me know he was on to me and wasn’t entertaining my advances so, again, I changed the subject.
“So, what made you go into education?” I asked, focused on placing some salami and crackers on my plate.
“Well.” Josh looked skyward thoughtfully. “I wanted to have an impact on the lives of young adults and help them be better prepared for life after college. I didn’t have that knowledge growing up, but I learned pretty quickly the importance of planning and money management. I’ve put most of my money away in savings and investments over the past four years. I’m building a financial portfolio so when the time comes, I’ll be able to take care of my wife and children. I want to have options and something to offer a woman who does me the honor of becoming my wife. I try to teach my students some of those same principles. What about you? What made you go into pediatric medicine?”
I was extremely content just listening to Josh talk, even if everything he said sounded too good to be true. If he were talking about himself, it meant we weren’t talking about me. The whole time he’d been talking I studied his face for any indication that he might be blowing smoke up my ass, but all I found was sincerity. Josh struck me as someone who knew very clearly what he wanted and was willing to work to make it happen. Like me, he had plans and ideals. He wanted to provide and care for his family and was setting himself up to do so. I’d never dated anyone who had themselves so together and seemed to be on the same path I desired. Years ago I had very seriously dated a guy named Grayson, who said he wanted a lot of the same things I was looking for, but that had turned out not to be the case. He took me through so many changes; I had vowed I’d never take the risk of letting someone do that to me again. Still, lying here across from Josh, I allowed myself to consider the possibility of having those things I’d said I wanted so long ago. Maybe I could have love and stability and a family. Didn’t I deserve that like everyone else? Wasn’t I worth loving? As much as I wanted to believe I was, Grayson had wounded me in a way I wasn’t sure would ever fully heal.
I wasn’t aware of how deeply I’d drifted into my thoughts until I felt Josh shake my arm lightly. “Where’d you go,” he asked. “You ok?”
“I’m fine,” I smiled dryly as I shook off bad memories and dark feelings. Maybe this man is different. I assured internally. “Let’s see… some things about me… I love kids—which you already guessed. I’m an only child… now. My sister died when I was 11, and she was 7. I love Chinese food, art, music and traveling. I’m a Leo. I love animals but not to have as pets, umm… I guess that’s basically it.” I was fairly pleased with my summary but of course, Josh had more questions.
“You said earlier you’d like to have children. How many? What are your religious beliefs? Where do you wanna be five years from now?” Now he’d propped himself up on his elbow and was giving me an inquisitive eyebrow raise. Geez! This man is determined to be all in my business! He’s nothing if not persistent. I took a deep breath and prepared to reply to round two of my interrogation.
“Well sir, if you must know I’d like to have at least one child and maybe as many as three –depending on my sanity after the first two. I am a Christian and a work in progress,” I said with nervous laughter. “In five years I see myself as Chief of Pediatrics—maybe having a child or two, but that would require a proposal and marriage first!” I could have slapped myself! Had I just brought up marriage and proposal not only on the second date but in the same damned sentence? Well, if he were ever gonna run I guess now would be the time. I hesitantly looked in Josh’s direction, fully prepared for him to chime in with, “Look at the time!” Instead, he sat there, still resting on his elbows, listening intently.
“It takes more than that to spook me. Besides, I asked. Is that all or is there more?” Josh asked; his eyes still set on me.
“Well, I said before that I like to travel so I still have some places on my list I’d like to check off. I’d also like to do something adventurous and spontaneous, you know? I’m sure I come off as a bit stuffy at times, but I actually am fun once you get to know me. Not everyone sticks around long enough to see that side of me.” The olives and crackers left on my plate now had my full attention as I tossed them back and forth with my fork.
Josh tilted my chin up toward him with his index finger. I could tell he saw the sadness in my eyes because he matched it. Perhaps he hoped he could “fix” me. I was sure he knew all too well that I didn’t trust easily; I was guarded and I hated talking about myself, but none of that seemed to shake him. Maybe he just wanted to know my story or maybe he wanted to be the one to change the ending. It was too soon to tell, and I was petrified by the thought of either.
Josh looked down at his watch, and I instinctively glanced at mine, as well. I couldn’t believe that we’d been piddling around under this prism for nearly three hours. “We’d better pack up if we’re going to make it to my next surprise in time.” I helped Josh pack up the basket, blanket, glasses and the now empty bottle of champagne. The bubbly had me effervescing, and I was ready to see whatever crazy thing Josh had up his sleeve. As much as I tried to revisit the dark and scary places in my mind, he hadn’t let me, and now I was determined to finish the night on a happy note. There would be no more tearful, sobering moments.
“I’m excited! Let’s go!” I extended my hand out to Josh. He wove his fingers between mine, and we made our way toward the museum exit.
Initially, I thought I’d screwed up his plans when we arrived too late to enter the aquarium because it was closed. I was so surprised when the driver took us around back, and Josh hopped out of the limo. “Wait here a sec. I’ll be right back.”
Moments later he returned and opened the door to help me out of the car. As we walked to the back entrance, I was beyond skeptical as I surveyed the shadowed area. “Is this part of your surprise or are we breaking into the aquarium, because getting arrested could really put a damper on the evening.”
“We’re good sweetheart.” Josh said through his chuckle. “I called in a favor from one of my students who works here. He’s agreed to let us in for a while.” A young man came to the door and ushered us in. It all felt a bit covert but at the same time I was excited. He’d really gone to great lengths to show me a night I wouldn’t forget.
We followed his student down a darkened hallway toward hazy blue light. I could tell by the movement of the shadows on the wall in the distance that it was the reflection of water. We rounded the corner and were met with the most incredulously stunning undersea experience. The entire wall was a giant fish tank filled with bright hews of pink, orange, yellow, blue and green sea creatures. Once again I was at a loss for words as I watched the fish swim gracefully through the water. A gentle tug on my hand urged me forward as we continued our journey. The next room greeted me with a tank filled with massive sea turtles. I couldn’t contain my excitement and I didn’t try. “I love turtles!!” I squeaked. Josh laughed at my excitement and this time I wasn’t guarded. I was grateful he’d brought me here and gone to all the trouble of making our evening special. As he eased up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I embraced the silence that held our unspoken thoughts and questions. We watched the massive creatures swim back and forth in slow, fluid motion. I was content to stay right there with him; wrapped in the warmth of his arms.
“I think we can find our way from here Kevin. What’s our time limit?” Josh turned briefly and addressed his student.
“I have to have everything locked up by eight o’clock Professor Griffin.”
“Perfect! We’ll be out of your hair by then! Thanks Kevin,” Josh shook his hand and once he saw the young man exit, he turned me around and pulled me in close. “You know, in this light you’re even more beautiful…impossible,” he said mostly to himself. “I don’t know what exactly is happening here, but I want it to keep happening. I want a whole lot more of this and you.” I tried hard to focus on his words and not get lost in his eyes. “With that being said, even though I’m so incredibly attracted to you that I can barely breathe, I want you to know this is more than just something physical for me. I really want to get to know you, and want you to know me. I’m willing to take things slow so that we can do that, ok?” I had to admit; I was slightly disappointed that he wouldn’t be ravaging me right there in front of all sea life, but I respected his ideals. He was drawing me in, and I could feel my affection for him spreading within me, like ink in water.
“We can take it slow Josh, but not too slow, ok?” I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. The feel of his lips against mine made me instantly forget his ideals and mine too. My hands explored his rock-hard chest and arms, and Josh made no move to stop me. Alone there in the dark with only the subtle reflection of the aquarium water to outline our shadows, I kissed Josh hungrily as his hand inched upward to my breast. I stumbled back and met the cool glass of the massive fish tank. The cold contrast against my body sent a new sensation through me. I felt like fire and ice. That feeling edged me further as I parted my thighs and Josh inched closer. Now I could feel his hardness pressing against my inner-thigh. I reached down and stroked it, matching the intensity with which Josh kneaded my breast. I knew he wanted me and the fact that he was trying to control it turned me on even more. I lifted the skirt of my dress and breathlessly begged him, “If we aren’t going to be doing this for a while, maybe we should just get it out of the way just this once? I know you want it as much as I do.” I could see him considering the idea in his mind. I stood there panting, waiting, wanting.
“Wait!” Josh stepped back running his hand slowly through his hair as he tried to compose himself. “This is everything I want, but not what I want at this moment. Does that make sense?” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
“Yes, Joshua, that makes sense.”
“Well damn, did this set me back from Josh to Joshua? I’m not sure how I should take that,” he said with a smile. I smiled too. He was being a gentleman. I guess I have to respect that… Dammit! I tried to think of something that would take my mind off my pulsating heat long enough for me to collect myself. I stood up straight and fixed the skirt of my dress and suggested, “Let’s go see the sharks!” He happily led me to the next tank. When we left the aquarium we went to Wrigley Field and watched the fireworks, even though it wasn’t the explosion I had hoped for, I was content there by Josh’s side.
Chapter Three
Josh had dropped me off at ten o’clock directly after the fireworks. He’d ended the night with a polite kiss on the cheek then sprinted off to his car yelling something about me being dangerous. I chuckled at the thought. A small sigh escaped me involuntarily as I reminisced on the missed opportunity to give those sea turtles a show. I was about to play out the scene in my mind the way it should have ended when the vibration of my phone sliced through my fantasy like a buzz saw. I swiped my finger across the screen. “Hello.”
“Erin, it’s Amber! Are you busy today? I was hoping we could get together and catch up. I haven’t really talked to you since your mystery man came by to drop off your panties!” Once again she was cracking herself up and content to laugh alone.
“I’m not doing anything today Amber.” I said flatly. “Just hanging around the house and possibly cleaning up if I get the notion. I feel like I haven’t been home much in the past week or so between work and my extracurricular activities.” I knew that would get under her skin. Ha! “What did you have in mind?”
“Let’s go get lunch and then we can come back to your house and hang out. I have something to tell you,” Amber said oozing excitement. I never knew what to expect when Amber said she had something to tell me. I knew it could be anything from a new car to a baby. Either that or it had something to do with somebody else’s business. I mustered up every ounce of pleasantry in me, “Ok, cool. Let me get up from her
e and get dressed. Come and park your car at my house and we can ride together. Bye.” I hung up and headed to the dresser to grab a gray cotton sweat suit and a white tank top. Next I reached on the shelf in the closet and pulled down a pair of gray and white Air Max. I laid the clothes out on the bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. Thanks to getting home fairly early and getting a good night of sleep that wasn’t alcohol induced, I felt great. I let the shower create a heavy cloud of steam before I stepped inside. I stood there with my eyes closed and let the water massage my body like a set of warm soothing hands. I let my imagination have its way as I pictured Josh running his fingers gently along my back and down my backside. I was still a little antsy from the night before so I turned around and grabbed the high-pressured sprayer and let it run across my protruding nipples as I thought of Josh’s hands on my breasts and his thickness that only my fingertips had gotten to feel. Slowly I slid the showerhead down to my now aching flesh. Without warning images of Mike filled my head, as he massaged me intently until I released warm sap onto his fingers. A soft moan escaped my lips as rippling waves of pleasure overtook me. I leaned against the wall to stabilize my weakening knees as the water continued its siege and I gave way again. What the hell? Had I just created some weird ménage à trois? I was half excited before the guilt started creeping in. I hadn’t thought about Mike in days and mixing images of him with Josh’s felt wrong, even if it was involuntary. As distracted as I’d managed to keep my mind, my body hadn’t forgotten. I wasn’t sure if or when it would. Even now, the prospect of sex with Mike was fanning the embers that remained below. I need to get a grip!! Maybe the more time I spend with Josh, the less I’ll think about Mike. I just have to keep him off my mind. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d been looking for me. I still hadn’t heard from him, but he was still fucking with my head. I hated that and I wanted to hate him for it.