by Unknown
“Sure I did! Are you surprised? We have to eat around here you know! I can’t feed my son hot pockets and French fries every day, so yes, I cook. We’ve been waiting for you, so kindly come into the kitchen and make your plate.”
“You aren’t going to make it for me,” I asked.
“I could ask you the same thing about mine, but since I know we’re living in the 21st century I’ll resist the urge.”
He is such a friggin’ smart ass! I love him. The thought caused me to stutter step a bit and Mike grabbed hold of my elbow.
“You okay?” He eyed me with concern.
“I’m fine. I was just stunned you were aware that we are in the 21st century.” I fought against the curving ends of my mouth and tried to feign agitation as I cut my eyes in his direction. Still gripping my elbow, he pushed me in the direction of the kitchen. “Go fix your plate woman and bring it in the dining room.” I stood there for a moment and thought again about what had crossed my mind earlier. I love him? What the hell? I shook away the thought and made my way into the kitchen and picked up a plate from the kitchen table. My nose had been dead on. Atop the stove sat a pot roast surrounded by fingerling potatoes swimming in juice from the succulent beef. I went to slice the roast and it fell apart. I gripped a two-pronged fork and pinned two healthy chunks between the knife and fork and placed them on my plate. Right next to it I piled a small mountain of fingerling potatoes, a large spoonful of oven-baked macaroni and cheese, and a scoop of the tender green beans I hadn’t smelled when I came in. On the counter next to the stove, a sweet potato pie rested on an oven mitt. I’ll come back for you later. I thought as I eyed the pie. I toted my full plate into the dining room and found Adrian placing a fork and knife on a napkin in front of the seat beside Mike. Adrian then set his place directly on the other side of me. Maybe he didn’t forget me after all. I smiled to myself and watched as he finished up.
I set my plate down, slid into the center seat and asked Adrian, “Is it alright if I sit here?”
“Of course! I fixed it for you! What’s your name again?”
“Erin.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you again! Let’s say grace!” Adrian held out his hand and I wrapped his fingers in mine. On my other side, I gripped Mike’s hand, as well. I closed my eyes, bowed my head and listened as the sweetest little voice went through his prayer of thanks.
Together we ate and laughed and talked for well over an hour, and Adrian and I were becoming fast friends. He was in the middle of inviting me up to his room to watch Monster’s Inc. when Mike interjected. “Maybe some other time Adrian. Daddy and Miss Erin have some work to do. You go on upstairs and watch your movie and thank you for helping me with dinner.”
“Ok daddy!” Adrian hopped up from the table and took off up the stairs. I resisted the urge to tell him not to run and turned to face Mike. “I’ll help you clear the table.”
“No need,” he said. “I’ll get it later. Let’s head to the piano. I’ve been waiting for this for more than a month. Truthfully, the last time I saw you, has been all I’ve thought about while I was gone.” He eyed me with intensity, pulling his full bottom lip between his perfect teeth.
“Right, that’s why you never mentioned it in any of your weekly texts, right?”
“Wow! Not that I need to explain, but let me inform you that the days I sent you messages, I was with my aunt at physical therapy. If you check your dates and times, you’ll see, they’re all pretty much the same. The rest of the time I was taking care of her. Driving her to doctor visits, cooking, cleaning and helping her get around to do basic things like dress herself and bathe. Do you feel like I didn’t keep in touch enough?” Mike made his way toward me. “Were you feeling neglected?”
I didn’t have time to be embarrassed or even apologize because now Mike’s lips were pressed against my earlobe. The heat of his breath curled around my ear and I closed my eyes. Give me strength. “To prove just how much I’ve been thinking about you and your song, let me show you what I came up with.” Just like that he stepped away, sat down to the piano. Seriously?! I am already an emotional mess and now he’s screwing with my mind and my body. The sound of his playing broke through my thoughts. The song was even more beautiful than I remembered and hearing it over the phone hadn’t done it justice. “I changed some of the chord progressions to give it kind of an older, Stevie Wonder ballad feel. Do you remember the melody?” I nodded. The tune had been burned into my brain along with the way Mike had made me feel that day and how it felt to sing out in full-voice with him.
Mike began to sing and I instinctively embellished his melody with ad-libs and harmony. I closed my eyes and swayed as he pounded out beats and measures on the piano keys. The vibration of the piano resonated through my fingertips as Mike pressed the sustain pedal beneath his foot. Even with my eyes closed I could see the passion he’d put into the music. Behind my lids, I saw each note as a color. Beautiful. My entire body hummed as the melody engulfed me and colors splashed against the backdrop of my mind. It was bliss and I was drowning in it. When I could no longer contain the heated fire that welled in my chest, I opened my mouth and let the lyrics speak for me. The melody was a perfect canvas and I painted my emotions with every word. I sang about feelings that had grown too strong to contain. I lilted about love beckoning me into a sea, then sweeping me away into a storm that nearly consumed me. I belted about how the feeling that I thought was love ended up pulling me from safety, only to leave me in treacherous waters without a lifeline. I intoned about how true love came and rescued me right when I thought I would sink. As the song came to an end, I sang that I had risked losing everything I thought I wanted only to find the love I’d always needed.
Mike wasn’t playing the piano any more, but I didn’t care. I ran through the chorus again and gave it my own flare. When I finished, I felt like I had released years of pent up thoughts and feelings. The adrenaline rush was incredible and I was buzzing with excitement. Right then I knew, this was a feeling I wanted forever. It was euphoria. It was afterglow. It was… joy.
When I opened my eyes, Mike was giving me an expression I didn’t recognize. “What? Was that too much? Did you not like it? I was just going with what I felt, but we can always tweak it.” My high was waning into worry as I waited for his reply.
Mike turned and straddled his legs across the piano stool to face me and reached for my hand. He pulled me close, never taking his eyes off me. “I don’t know when it happened or how you did it without me knowing but you’ve struck something in me that I didn’t know existed any more. In fact, I’ve worked hard to resist it for a very long time. I haven’t loved anyone since Adrian’s mother and I hadn’t planned to, but somehow you’ve made your way into my heart and I want to keep you there. I don’t want you to think that the only thing between us is a physical attraction. It is so much more than that. The physical part is a bonus, but who you are is… everything.” He gave my hands a gentle squeeze. “I’m serious. I just want to be in your presence to watch you blossom. I can see you coming into your own and it’s amazing! You’re so much greater than you realize and I want to be around the day you figure it out. When you finally see what everyone else sees in you, I want to be there, right by your side. I said I would wait for you and I’m really trying, but I am so ready for this thing–whatever it is— to be an us thing. I want you here with me every day. I want to make love to you each night and wake up with you in my arms. I know you’re still trying to figure things out, but we can do that together.”
“Would you still want all those things if I were pregnant? What about if I told you it could be yours or that I wasn’t sure if it was yours or Josh’s?!” Well, that’s one way to break the news. I hadn’t intended to erupt like that, but my chest felt like it might pop open if I didn’t say something right then. Here Mike was pouring his heart out to me and all I could think about was the fact that it was under false pretenses. I wanted him to know everything and then see what he had to sa
y. Now I had put it out there and I waited for what seemed an endless amount of time for him to say something. I felt like my lungs were collapsing as I held my breath. I didn’t know what to expect and the thought that this might be the end of things for us before they could really even begin terrified me. “Please say something.”
Mike dropped his grip on my hands and shifted his gaze toward the window behind me. I guess this is it. I could already feel the pieces of my heart beginning to crack away, like falling rocks. “Are you serious?!” He sounded disappointed. Shit! This wasn’t the reaction I’d hoped for but oh well. I can raise my child on my own. I don’t need him. I stepped back from him and folded my arms across my chest as I prepared for his let down. “Erin, I’m not sure if you’re trying to scare me off or what, but as you can already see first-hand, I’m not afraid to be a father. You could never scare me off with that! As for your baby possibly belonging to the man you were in a relationship with for months; why would I be shocked by that either? If you two aren’t together anymore and you have a child, then I would understand that it’s a package deal, just like it is with me and Adrian. What kind of man do you think I am?! Damn!!”
Mike had floored me. I sat down timidly beside him on the bench, my gaze focused on nothing in particular. He surprises me every time. I sat there shaking my head. “I’m sorry about all of this. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way, but it’s the truth. I’m pregnant and I’m not sure if it’s yours or Josh’s.” Everything he’d said was all that any woman could ever want to hear. I hadn’t known what to expect, but I could never have dreamt that would be his response.
Mike reached for me and pulled me into him, wrapping his arms around my waist. He nuzzled his chin against my shoulder and placed a light peck against my cheek. “I know it’s not an ideal situation, but it’ll be alright. We’re all adults, we can work through this. Did you talk to…? Josh? That’s his name, right?”
“Yes it is, and yes I told him. He was more understanding than any man should have been under the circumstances. I didn’t know how any of this would turn out, but I have to say I’m blown away by how okay you both are with all this. If the circumstances had been reversed and I found out that the man I was with, may or may not have fathered a child outside of our relationship I’m sure I would have responded very differently!”
Mike chuckled against my neck. “Are we in a relationship,” he asked, pulling back to look me in the eye.
“Well, no, I guess not but…”
“Then what room would I have to be upset? Now Josh, that must be a really good dude! I can’t say I wouldn’t be pissed about the situation from his side of it. But from what you’ve said, it sounds like he and I have a common goal, and that’s to do what is in the best interest of you and the baby. What kind of man would I be to add to your stress during a time like this? After all, there’s an equal chance this child could be mine and I would never endanger it.” Mike wrapped me tightly in his arms and whispered, “Man, you’re gonna be a mom.” I turned to him slightly and he swept my hair away from my neck with a finger as he trailed kisses down the nape of my neck. “Mom? Shit, more like a MILF!!” He bit my neck playfully and we both laughed. I was thankful that he lightened the mood.
“Is that so? Well, we’ll see how you feel when my belly is out to here,” I interlocked my fingers and stretched my arms in front of me.
“I’ll still think you’re beautiful. When Adrian’s mom was pregnant with him, I loved every minute of it.” I could hear in his voice he was reliving the memory in his mind and suddenly I felt like I was intruding on an intimate moment. I leaned forward to get up, but he pulled me back into his embrace.
“Don’t be offended Erin. My wife Adriana died three years ago in an auto accident. She was hit head on by a drunk driver. Adrian was only two and gratefully too young to remember anything about losing his mom. Sadly, he’ll never know how extraordinary she was either. When she died I thought I would never love anyone again and definitely not the same way, but then I met you. You’ve shown me that kind of love is not only possible, but that I could be so fortunate to find it twice in one lifetime. I’m sure your emotions for me don’t run as strong, but I hope that someday they will. I hope that one day you’ll trust me enough to show me the cracks in your heart and that you might let me love you through the brokenness until it starts to heal. I can’t make right every wrong thing that ever happened to you, but I can promise to make things better from today if that’s what you want… If I’m what you want.” Mike got up from the bench and came around in front of me. I had never seen him look more sincere. That expression I didn’t recognize earlier, it was love. As I studied his face, it was there imbedded in the curve of his lips, the glint in his eye and the earnest crinkle of his brow.
I wasn’t brave enough to tell him that I loved him too. I had only realized it today and there was still a lot I needed go through and get through in my life. “Mike, I don’t know what to say. It all feels like so much right now.” I placed my hand tenderly against his cheek. I love you too. I wanted my eyes to tell him even if my mouth couldn’t. I was scared to death to open that door. I knew that, for me, there would be no turning back. I would have to be all in. “What I can honestly say is that I want to get to know you a lot better. Like just sitting here talking to you today, I’ve learned so much. I had no idea you were a widower. Up until a few weeks ago I had no idea you wanted to have your own auto repair business. I feel like our progress has been slow in the ‘getting to know you’ department.” We’ve blazed a hell of a trail in the sex department, though. “I think that if I could ever really know what kind of potential we could have, I’d need to tip the balance on the scales. We need to know more about each other as people. I know plenty about your body, but I need to know more about who you are as a person.” Just mentioning his body had my eyes venturing in that direction. I swallowed hard and fought for focus as I continued. “I feel like we’re moving in a good direction, but I would need to be much further along before I could even think about a relationship. I hope you understand. I’m not saying no, I’m just saying not right now.” There. I did it. I had managed to stick to my guns even though I instantly felt a hint of regret.
Mike’s eyes set on me, looking slightly dejected. “I understand. I wasn’t trying to pressure you. I just needed to get all of that off my chest.” He stood to his feet and pulled me up from the bench. “Now, let me show you the rest of the house.” I held his hand and followed him up the stairs. When we reached the top, Mike peeked into the partially open door of the room on the left then pulled me forward to take a look. Inside I saw Adrian laying on his bed fast asleep, holding on tightly to his Sully plush, stuffed animal. Monster’s Inc. blared from the television in the background. Mike pulled the door closed then returned his hand to mine as he guided me to the room across the hall. In it was a wall covered in vinyl albums, shelves of CDs, two keyboards, a microphone and several other electronics that I assumed all had to do with making music. “This is where I record all the songs I write for the band. Hopefully one day it will be where we record a song together.” He squeezed my hand and I smiled bashfully. I wasn’t used to him being so tender toward me. It was new and it made me nervous. Mike flashed me a smile before pulling me behind him out of the room and further down the hall. He passed the room on the left that was filled with boxes and opened the next door on our right. I glanced back briefly at the room but didn’t bother to ask about it. Maybe he’s using it for storage. I shrugged it off and turned around to find myself standing in the doorway of Mike’s bedroom.
“Uh-oh! Is this where all the magic happens?” I joked, giving him the eye of suspicion.
“Only if you want it to.” Mike quipped. “I wanted to show you something.” He guided me over to the only window in the room. It was large and filled the room with plenty of light. It also had the perk of a distant view of the Chicago Skyline. In closer range were naked trees with the exception of the evergreens scattered betwe
en the barren maples.
“It’s really nice to look at when the sun goes down. If you have a few hours, you could see it for yourself.” Mike stepped up behind me. “Aside from liking the character of this older house, I picked it specifically because of this view. I love to be able to look out at the city. Sometimes I bring a keyboard in here and just look out there and wait for something to sing to me and a melody will just come. The view inspires me. Since I’ve been here, it’s been my main source of inspiration until recently.”
I gazed out the window. Even now the leafless trees and skyline looked like a picture. “I could see how someone could be inspired by this view.” I’d love to paint it in all the seasons, but that would involve me taking over his space with all my art supplies. We’re not there yet. Even still, the artist in me longed to capture the scenery while it seemed cold and dark, then again at the budding of spring and at the turning of autumn leaves to hues of red, gold and orange. Mike squeezed my shoulder gently, reminding me of his presence. I turned to face him. “So what inspires you now?”
Without a word, he leaned down and kissed me sweetly. I closed my eyes to savor the feel of his lips against mine. This kiss was gentle and affectionate. It wasn’t hungry or ravaging. The palms of Mike’s strong hands pressed against my face as his thumbs lightly grazed the apples of my cheeks. Slowly his finger slid between the curls at the nape of my neck and massaged sweetly against my scalp. I curled my arms around his back and pressed into him. I tasted the sweetness of his tongue as it stroked rhythmically against mine as I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him deeper. It seemed like forever since I’d felt his touch. Mike pulled back and trailed a path from my mouth to my neck with his lips. The heat of his breath ignited a million tiny sparklers beneath my skin. I felt static electricity with every touch. My body quivered as Mike’s hands roved slowly across my shoulders, beneath my arms and down to the curve of my hips. He gripped them tightly and joined his body to mine. I gripped the back of his head, pulling him down to taste more of his sweetness with my tongue. Now I was the one who was ravenous and I was tired of fighting it. To hell with balancing the scales, I’m about to tip that bitch over! Panting, I pulled away from Mike and crossed the room to close his bedroom door. I turned and rested my back against it, watching as Mike made his way slowly toward me. “What are you doing,” he rasped with baited breath.