by Mia Ford
Her words make my life feel so empty, I really have just been a husk, existing for such a long time. My life is so gray and boring… I want to inject some color into it. “What else can I do though, Robyn? Being a lawyer is all I know. I just don’t see any other option for me.”
“Oh, Katy,” Robyn laughs. “You are the smartest person I know. I’m sure you can do whatever you set your mind to. If you’re serious about getting out of that office, then I’ll support you. I’ll help you, you won’t be alone in your decision.”
I breathe a little freer as I realize she’s right. Just because being a lawyer is all I’ve ever known doesn’t mean I have to spend my entire life doing it. It might not be easy, but I can do something else if I want. I can step out of the box that I’ve created around myself and spread my wings. Robyn will be there for me, always. She’s proven that to me.
“And since you might be getting your life back, maybe you can finally meet Michael…”
“Actually, about that,” I blush as I interrupt. I need to let Robyn know the truth before I’m forced to let Michael down again. “I might not be able to meet Michael. I might have met someone.”
“Oh, my God,” she coos. “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Is that what’s brought about this change? If so, then my God I’m happy and I cannot wait to meet this guy.”
“Well, not yet, things aren’t that set in stone. It’s all just… beginning.”
“I want to meet up with you soon so I can get all the gossip, okay? I know you’re always busy but you need to make time for me.”
I laugh at her little joke. “Yes, I will do. I’ll text you when I get a chance. Love you, Robyn.”
“Yeah, I love you too, babe. See you soon, okay? Can’t wait to hang out!”
As I hang up the phone to her, I feel a brightness in my chest. This decision has been weighing heavily on me ever since I first heard about it but now I don’t think it’s quite so soul destroying as it once felt. Robyn has made me see that there’s more to life. Maybe, as scary as it is, I can walk away from being a lawyer and do something else.
But not for now. Right now, I have to help Evan with his business. Once I’ve done that, then I can start making all the choices about my future. One thing at a time.
Chapter Seventeen – Evan
“No, it’s okay. I understand that it’s your day off. Thank you anyway, Marie.”
I hang up the phone and look at my boy who’s playing in the corner of my office. So much for keeping his existence away from my employees. They all know that I have a child now! But it can’t be helped, the sickness bug hit Anika hard, it came from nowhere and she doesn’t want to pass it on to Liam. After calling all the other nannies and finding out that none of them are available today, she didn’t have any choice but to bring him here. I just don’t like Liam being in the office, it’s boring for him. I might have to leave in a moment to take him home…
“Hey, how’s it going… oh!” Katy’s face contorts in shock as she sees me and Liam alone in my office. “I’m sorry, have I got the date wrong? Am I not supposed to be here?”
I can tell that she feels awkward, which isn’t surprising. I feel it too. I always keep the women in my life away from my son until I know for sure that they’re going to last… which of course hasn’t been any of them so far, so this is strange. I can’t halt it now, it’s too late.
“No, you are.” I move across the room and rub Liam’s head. He glances up from the tablet screen he’s playing on, but only for a second. He’s engulfed in the game. “We just have a bit of an unexpected visitor at the moment. Liam’s nanny is sick, so I might need to go home. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a jerk, I should have called you to save you the trip.”
“Oh right, okay, I see.” Katy nods slowly. “There’s some stuff I really need to go through with you today. Do you have time?”
I know that once me and Katy get started with talking business, we can talk for hours, so doing it here with Liam in the room isn’t ideal. I’ll be distracted by him the whole time. Instead we need to go somewhere we can all be a little more comfortable. This isn’t something I would ever normally do, but I don’t see what choice I have right now.
“Did you want to come to my home with me to talk about it? That way Liam has all his toys and stuff to play with and we have snacks on tap? Me and you can get some real discussion time in.”
The thought of Katy in my large home actually brings a bit of a smile to my face. I haven’t wanted anyone to invade my personal space before, which just confirms how deep my feelings for Katy are. I like her, too damn much. She’s just so awesome. I guess in a way this will be a weird test for us. If she can’t handle being around Liam then we can both take a step back now before we get too involved with each other. That way, it won’t hurt so much and Liam won’t get attached.
“Oh yeah.” Katy’s face lights up with glee. “That sounds great actually.” She glances towards Liam, with a shining happiness in her eyes. She doesn’t look as freaked out as she probably should be. “Then we have plenty of time to go over all of this.”
I pat Liam on the back. “Come on, buddy, let’s get going. We’ll head home to play there.”
“No,” he instantly whines. “I don’t want to leave. I want to keep playing this game, it’s fun!”
I sigh loudly, preparing myself for a battle, but somehow it doesn’t quite head that way. Instead, Katy bends down and she stares right into Liam’s eyes which forces him to meet her gaze.
“Hey, Liam, my name is Katy. Do you think maybe we could go back to your house so you can show me your toys? I bet you’ve got lots of superhero stuff, haven’t you?”
Liam drops the tablet on his side and opens his eyes wide and excitedly. “I do! I have a Batman, and an Iron Man, and I also have a Hulk. He stomps around like this…”
Liam jumps up from his chair and he stomps around like a mad man. I expect Katy to freak out a bit but she laughs and joins in with him. I haven’t ever seen him take to anyone so quickly, not even any of his nannies. He’s known for taking a moment to warm up to people so this is shocking. Maybe he has an intuition and he can see right into Katy’s warm soul.
“Wow, that’s awesome,” Katy laughs gleefully. “Now you have to show me all your toys.”
“Yeah.” Liam grabs my hand and he pulls me. “Come on, Daddy, we have to get going. I need to show the nice lady my toys.”
“The nice lady is called Katy,” I call after him. “But yeah, come on let’s go.”
***
I chuckle to myself as I watch Katy and Liam in the middle of an intense game of… well, something or other. I think it started out as alien hunter but now I’m not so sure. It’s transformed into something crazy, but they’re both having a lot of fun, that’s the main thing. It’s left me sitting at my home desk reading through the paper work alone, but I don’t mind.
“Daddy!” Liam calls out while shrieking playfully. “Daddy, come and play.”
“I can’t come and play, I’m in the middle of doing something…” I answer wearily. But as I rub my forehead hard I realize that I’m not actually getting much done now. I’m reading and re reading the same sentences and not drinking anything in. “Do you know what, I’m coming.”
I leap off my chair and I grab a pretend gun to join in. It feels good to actually have some fun in my life, especially with my child. As we race around the house, throwing cushions around everywhere, I feel high as a kite. It makes me see that I’ve shut off from Liam more than I realized, he hasn’t had any time to actually get to know me which is wrong. I need to bring myself back into his life more, I need to be the father that he needs me to be. I need to make up for his lack of mother. I just quite simply need to be better. I can do that. It’s fine.
As I watch Katy play with complete free abandon, I know that it’s her who’s made me have this revelation. Without her, I never would have seen my mistakes when it comes to Liam. She’s made me realize that I’m a
workaholic and that I can’t always be that way. Once the business restructure has been set into place, I’m going to take a bit of a step back. Yes, I still want to make a success of the company for my father’s sake… but actually I think he would be proud of me if I could be there for Liam more. That’s where my focus should be.
“Daddy, is Katy staying for dinner?” Liam calls out. “She’s fun. I want her to play with me more. I want her to read me a bed time story as well.”
“Erm…” That might be a bit too much for Katy, I don’t want to push her too far. This is all a bit much for me so I know it must be crazy. She only found out that I’m a father recently, and we’ve only just started hooking up. Reading a bed time story and eating with us might be a little bit too close to happy families. “I don’t know, Katy might have dinner plans…”
“You bet I’m staying!” she exclaims gleefully, actually looking like she might be happy to do what Liam asks of her. “Are you crazy, we’ve still got so much more playing to do.”
“Do you want to come to my bedroom and see my toys?”
I glance at my watch while they discuss superheroes that I haven’t even heard of before. “You know what, you guys go and do that and I’ll get dinner started. Does that sound like a good plan?” I feel weird about it, all nervous, but at the same time I’m quite comfortable in the knowledge that Liam likes Katy even more than the women I leave him with on a daily basis. “Anything you want?”
“Sausages!” Liam screams, filling me with relief. Sausages I can do, that isn’t too hard. “Beans too. And chips. That’s my favorite. With ketchup. Don’t forget the ketchup!”
“Ooh mine too,” Katy agrees with a grin. “That sounds perfect.”
As Katy and Liam move towards the stairs I smile and shake my head in utter delight. Today has been such a surprise. When Liam first got brought to my office I was shocked, I freaked out and thought that I wasn’t going to be able to get anything done. Now, I’ve done a whole day’s work, I’ve had a life revelation, and I’ve also seen how great Katy and Liam get on. I feel like the foundation that my world has been built upon has ripped away, but what’s been left in place is something even better. I knew what I felt for Katy was strong, I knew that it was different, but now I genuinely think that she might be the real deal. She might be the one.
I don’t know if I’ve ever believed in fate before, if I’ve ever thought about the one, but with Katy it’s easy to slip into that mindset. She’s pretty much perfect for me. She’s everything that I didn’t even know I needed. She’s everything I want and so much more.
I shove the food into the oven and stand by it while I think. When I first got that phone call from Barry, my accountant, I thought that the world had ended, I thought that I was facing the worst crisis I’d ever seen… but now I can see it more as an opportunity to do things better. I can make the company smaller and better, I can delegate more, I can give myself more time with my son, and I can actually open myself up to love in a way that I haven’t before.
I feel bad that some of my staff might lose their jobs, despite my promise that they wouldn’t, but what I’ll do if that happens in the restructure is help them get new positions. And I don’t just mean writing them a kick ass reference, that’ll just be a part of it. No, I’ll use all my contacts in the industry to get them great jobs with equal or more pay. I’ll do what I can for everyone. It might not be the best I can do, but at least I’ll give it my all. At least I’ll be doing this as a nice person. As nice as I can be. I don’t want everyone to leave thinking of me as an asshole who just tried to save his own skin, this isn’t that at all. This is me just trying…
Finally, I fall from my thoughts as I hear a thundering down the stairs which means Liam and probably Katy are back. I turn to see them both with superhero dolls in their hands, flying them through the air and screaming and yelling as they play. It’s a sight that’s so wonderful it warms up my heart. It makes me wish that Katy could actually be here, and she could stay here forever. She fits in these four walls, she brightens the whole place up, she makes it look amazing.
I could quite happily fall in love with this woman, I think to myself happily. And I think Liam could too… I just hope I get the chance to find out what this could really be.
Chapter Eighteen – Katy
A weariness overcomes me as I say my goodnights to Liam. I certainly didn’t expect my day to take this turn, but it’s been pretty awesome. I haven’t ever spent a lot of time around kids, but hanging out with Liam was awesome. I get on with him better than I ever could have hoped. Maybe meeting him randomly like that was the best thing that could have happened. It made sure there wasn’t any pressure on either of us. We could just have fun.
Now if things do progress with me and Evan, me and Liam have a great bond to begin with.
“Well, that’s him off to sleep,” I say with a smile to Evan. “What a fun day. I don’t know if we got enough work done but we had a good time.”
“I got some done,” Evan tells me with a grin. “But to be honest I had such a good day with Liam, I don’t even care.” He looks longingly towards the bedroom. “It makes me realize that I don’t spend enough time with him, you know? I want to do that more. I suppose this downsize has come at a good time for me, personally.”
Wow. For a closed off mind he’s really opening up to me and it feels great. It also resonates quite well with my situation which stings at my heart. I’ve been trying my hardest not to think about it all day long, especially not after speaking to Grant and Robyn. But now, it’s filling my brain. It’s consumed me completely. I can hardly think of anything else.
“Yeah, I get it,” I tell Evan while taking a seat opposite. I probably should go now, but I don’t want to. He seems quite keen to have me here anyway, so I’m not gonna fight that. “You want to work out a way to have a life outside of work. It’s a bit like the dilemma I’m having. Different, I know because you have a son, but yeah…” I shrug in a way that I hope comes off a bit blasé. I don’t if I want Evan to know how hard I’m hurting over this. “I want a life too.”
“Is that why you’re still struggling?” he asks me in a caring tone of voice. “I take you haven’t made a decision when it comes to being a partner yet or not.”
“No I haven’t made any decisions, I’m still agonizing over it.” I laugh awkwardly. “Some people keep telling me I should do one thing, others tell me to do the other, I guess I just haven’t worked out what I want yet.”
Evan nods slowly and reaches under the counter. When he pulls out a tumbler of some amber looking liquid my heart leaps up into my throat. If we’re about to start drinking alcohol now that increases my chances of staying here the night. I mean, I could get a cab back, but I don’t think that will happen. I think this is a hint that Evan wants me to stay, and damn it I want to stay too.
“I think we should have a celebratory drink, don’t you?” he says with a wink. “I think we’ve earned it after all the hard work and playing that we’ve done today.”
I gulp noisily and give him one sharp nod. I know I should probably say something, but I can’t seem to find the words. The only thing my brain is certain of is the fact that I don’t want to be anywhere but here, with him. Drinking whatever the hell he’s giving to me. Evan slides me the glass and I take it from him, then I take a massive swig from the glass before screwing up my face and almost spitting it out again. It’s disgusting, so burning hot and bitter, but I have to swallow it down. I need to. If I don’t want to ruin the potential mood that’s going on here then I really can’t spit.
“Wow, that was…” I gasp desperately. “That was something.”
“Oh yeah, it’s quite strong.” Evan gives me a playful, teasing smirk. “Sorry about that, it isn’t for anyone who isn’t a hardened drinker.”
“Oh, so you’re a hardened drinker are you?” He shakes his head. “Just with this stuff, I take it?”
To be honest, by the time I get to the second swig an
yway, and I take a much more conservative sip, it isn’t too bad. It’s still strong and bitter, but my throat is already on fire so I don’t have to suffer the burning sensations.
Evan holds out his glass to me and I clink mine against it, despite the fact that I don’t really know what I’m cheering him for. Judging by the twinkle in his eye, it might be about what’s going to happen. A shiver tears up and down my spine as I consider something exciting really happening. The idea of those delicious fingers of his all over me is almost too much to bear. I don’t know how I can stand it again… but I also don’t think I can live without it either.
“Come here,” Evan eventually murmurs, as he sets his now empty glass on the table. “I’ve been wanting to touch you all night long.”
As I rise from my seat and the memory of the last time I hooked up with Evan and his tongue was everywhere, I become something of a sexual goddess. My hips sway, my chest pokes out further, I feel a burning up and down my legs, pulsating in my panties. Evan looks at me in a certain way and it sets me alight. It makes me become the person I am in his eyes, if only for a short moment.
“I’ve wanted to touch you too,” I whisper back as I dip my head towards him. This time, it’s my hands on his cheeks as we kiss and I have to admit it feels nice. It builds up the intense bond that we already share even deeper. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for hours.”