by Mia Ford
“I know.” He tugs his hair once more. “But I need to be at the meeting, they won’t listen if I’m not there. Plus, there’s all that stuff I need to say. We have a plan, we discussed it…”
This is shock, pure and simple. Evan knows that he needs to be in the hospital with Liam, his brain is just freaking out. He probably can’t process the information about his son. I grab onto his shoulders and try to calm him down by staring deeply into his eyes.
“Evan, you need to get to the hospital, okay? You need to check on Liam. This isn’t as important as him, you do realize that, right? I can take care of everything here.”
“Oh, I know, but my father left me this company and I want to make him proud,” he babbles desperately. “That’s why I’ve worked as hard as I have to keep it going, that’s why I pushed too hard, that’s why I screwed things up. I can’t lose the company because it’s the only legacy that I have of his. It’s important… but I also know that he would want me to be a good father, he was a good father to me. He would want me to be with my son, wouldn’t he?” He looks up and stares at me with nothing but question in his eyes. “He would want me to be with him, wouldn’t he? Don’t you think?”
“Of course, he would,” I insist. “You have to go. Liam needs you. I will get everything out of the car and I’ll take control of things. I will do what I can at the meeting to protect your father’s legacy okay. You can trust me. You go and make sure that Liam is alright. Your boy needs you.”
Finally, Evan nods and I drag him towards the car to make him go. He needs me to push him and to take control for once and I’m more than willing to do it. I’m willing to be whatever he needs.
“Will you promise me that you’ll drive carefully?” I ask as I push him inside. “Don’t go too fast because you’re desperate to be there. You don’t want to have an accident too.”
“Right,” he rasps back. “Of course. No, I won’t. And will you let me know what’s happened once you come out? If I don’t answer my phone it’s because I’m busy but just… leave me a message..”
“Of course, I will.” I touch his cheek for just a second so he’ll know that he can trust me. Evan gives me an emotional, barely readable look which is understandable since his child is at risk. I just desperately hope that everything with Liam is okay. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
My heart sinks as I watch the dirt kick up from the back wheels of Evan’s car. There’s no way he’s going to drive sensibly to the hospital. If I didn’t have this meeting to get to, I would have driven him to the hospital, but I know that Evan needs me here most of all. He can’t do both, he can’t split himself into two, so the most useful place that he can be is here.
I pace outside the court house for a moment, wishing I had someone I could call right now to speak to about this. I suppose I could talk to Robyn, but this is all a bit delicate. It’s Evan’s private life and I really shouldn’t share. Plus, I feel like I’ve put a lot on Robyn, I don’t want to call her with bad news. I can’t wait to tell her about my new life plan, but now isn’t the time for that.
I sigh deeply, deciding that it’s time to just face the music and get on with it. I might as well go and wait inside until the meeting begins. I’m already in a bit of a bad position, tackling things without my client. I don’t want to add being late to the list as well. Evan was right to worry, they won’t like the fact that he hasn’t turned up, but I’m hoping that once I explain the extenuating circumstances, they’ll just get it and everything will be fine. I don’t have too much hope, banks aren’t exactly known for being big hearted, but I have to try. I have to give it my best shot. I promised Evan.
As my feet move up the big steps, my head is all over the place. I’m definitely not as centered as I usually am when I face a case like this, but I can’t help myself. I like Liam, he’s a great kid, he doesn’t deserve to be in an accident which has put him in hospital. Evan doesn’t deserve this either, he doesn’t need another car accident in his life, it just isn’t fair. I don’t understand why he’s being punished. It isn’t right, he’s a good person with a kind heart, this is just horrible.
The idea that he’s about to find Liam in some sickly, damaged condition makes my heart bleed for him. Even for me the thought of that sweet little lad in a white, faceless bed with tubes attached to his body breaks my heart, so I dread to think how Evan is feeling.
I don’t even get a chance to sit down in the waiting room once I get inside, it seems more time has passed than I thought while outside. I get called into the room right away, a lady in a pencil skirt that’s even starker than mine leads me into a small room with a table in the middle of it, and chairs running up either side. On the opposite side to me a selection of business men in suits all glare at me as if I’m dirt beneath their feet, indicating that I need to sit on the other side.
Butterflies flap violently in my stomach, reacting far harsher than during any other case I’ve faced before. I think it’s because it’s for Evan, someone that I really care about, someone who trusts me with their livelihood and I don’t want to mess it up.
“And you are?” one of the men asks me gruffly.
“Oh, I’m Katy Atwater,” I reply shakily. “I’m the lawyer representing Evan Debroils.”
“Hmm, I see. And where is Mr. Debroils?” He peers at me over the top of his glasses, looking at me with sheer disgust. “He does realize that this meeting is happening today, doesn’t he? He is here? He does understand how important all of this is, doesn’t he?”
I shrink in on myself as I answer him because I know he isn’t going to like it. I don’t like taking the wrath for something that’s completely out of my control, but I’ll take a bullet for Evan.
“No, he isn’t here,” I admit. “But that’s because he just got a call from the hospital and his son has been taken in.” I don’t like being so honest, it feels wrong, but it’s the only way that I’m going to make these people understand. “He might be going into surgery so Evan needs to be there.”
One of the men leans across to whisper to the other, as if this is something that actually needs to be discussed. As if it isn’t totally obvious that Evan would be at the hospital. So many arguments and expletives race through my mind, but I clasp my hands together and I wring them impatiently.
Finally, the man who originally spoke to me with a graveness to his tone. “Because of this unprecedented event, we will give two options. Either we have this meet now in the absence of Evan Debroils, or we reschedule.”
I suck in a deep breath, knowing that the second option isn’t really a possible one since all of the plans me and Evan have made need to be set into motion immediately, plus I don’t think Evan will able to deal with this any time soon, depending on what’s happening with Liam, so while that might be the preferable option, it isn’t the one I can stick with. I have to take the hard road.
“I would like to do this today,” I say a little breathily. “I have all the paper work and plans with me. I know what Mr. Debroils wants to say. I will speak on his behalf.”
The men share a glance but then they nod curtly, accepting my decision. I don’t think it’s the one that they want, but that’s tough. I’m taking charge today. I’m in control and there’s nothing they can do about it.
Now I just need to ensure that I get it right…
Chapter Twenty One – Evan
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…
Sickness swirls in my stomach as I race through the hospital doors at the speed of light. I don’t even know how I made it here to the hospital, I drove in such a blur. I don’t know how my brain managed to get the directions right, but somehow, I’m here ready to help my son with whatever needs to happen. I can barely even stand to think about my poor baby, Liam, all hooked up to machines with wires coming out of him everywhere, it kills me. I’ve been through this too many time already, it just isn’t right. I can almost feel Victoria’s hands clamping down on my shoulders, reminding me that our weddin
g plans killed her and my mom and dad. That was bad enough, this is too much.
“Liam Debroils,” I shout to the woman sitting behind the reception desk. “I need to know what room he’s in. Liam Debrorils is his name.”
The lady tuts loudly as she brings her eyes off the computer screen to meet mine. I can instantly tell that she thinks I’m just another hysterical person, like the hundreds of others that she has coming through here every single day, she doesn’t immediately understand that this is my whole world on the line here. As her blue eyes pierce my soul, I feel even more panicked and desperate.
“Sir, there is actually a queue of people waiting to speak to me at the moment, so if you want to go to the back of it I can get to you in time. When it’s your turn.”
“In the time it took you to say that you could have just told me where my boy is.” I lean over the counter, trying to see her screen as if the answer is magically going to be on there. “My son has been in a car accident today and I need to be with him. Liam Debroils.”
“Sir, I’m going to have to insist that you get to the back of the queue.”
“Fuck the queue!” I explode. I turn on my heels to look at the few bored looking people waiting in line. “Look, my son has been in a car crash today, my young boy. Do any of you mind if I just the fucking queue so I can find out what room he’s in from this jobs worth here?” None of them answer me right away, they all just look at me shocked, but eventually a woman nods and the others all follow on like sheep. “See? None of them mind now will you tell me where my son is?”
“Evan?” Before I can get my answer, I hear the sad voice of Nancy calling out from behind me. “Oh thank goodness, you’re here. You’re here. Do you want to go to the room?”
I can’t help myself, I’m so freaking wound up I could explode so I flip the bitch woman off as I stalk off. I’m just so pissed that she tried to keep me away from my boy. What sort of person does that? What sort of person sits so high on their horse that they keep a father away from their child?
“I’m so sorry, Evan,” Nancy weeps as we walk. “I was taking him to the play park, Liam was whining that he wanted to go out, and I didn’t hear the car flying across the intersection, I guess it ran a red light or something, I just… I feel so damn horrible, it hurts.”
“Nancy, it’s fine. Honestly, I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt my son.” I can’t really deal with her emotional baggage right now. I don’t think she’s to blame or anything, I just need to focus on Liam and his recovery. “I don’t think it’s your fault, so you can stop worrying.”
She takes me to the room and as soon as I get outside the door I pause for a second. I’ve rushed all this way, but now I don’t know if I’m ready for the sight that’s undoubtedly waiting for me in there. My son, my baby, he’s hurt and I wasn’t there to protect him. This is all my fault if anyone’s and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for being so distant, I should have been a better father in every way.
“The doctor is in there now,” Nancy whispers to me. “I think you need to speak to him.”
I nod slowly and push the door, forcing myself to be brave. Liam needs me to be the father right now that I haven’t always been. I need to push my bullshit aside and look after him. But still it scares the living hell out of me when I see him. My boy looks tiny under the sheets, the hospital bed devours him. I hate it, all I want to do is rip him from the bed to hold him in my arms. I don’t want to be so separate from him anymore. I hate this.
“Oh, you’re here.” A lady in a white coat says from behind me. “And you are the boy’s father, I presume?” I nod rapidly. “Okay great. There are some things that I need to discuss with you.”
“Is my boy going to be okay?” I ask her desperately. “Is Liam going to… to…” I can’t vocalize the end of that sentence because it’s just too hard to say. I can’t say the one word that will tear my chest apart. I can’t even think about losing Liam, it’s just an impossible thought.
“We do need to take him into surgery, which is unfortunate, but it’s the only thing we can do right now to save his life. He must have a blood transfusion.”
“Oh my goodness, take my blood,” I gush instantly. “Take all my blood, whatever he needs just please make him okay again.” I life up my shirt and push my veins out towards her as if that’s going to speed up the process somehow. “Just save him, please…”
“Doctor Smith,” she fills in that last part for me. “And that’s great, but are you the same blood type? What we really need right now is some A plus, that’s what your son is. I have someone scanning the system, but at the moment it doesn’t look like we have any in.”
“Fuck, no I’m O negative. It was my wife that shared the same blood type.” I tug my fingers through my hair which has now turned greasy and tangled because of all the stress that I’ve put on it today. “She’s dead now. She died in a car crash years ago.”
The doctor turns a funny ashen shade as if she doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s fair enough, no one ever does. It’s an awkward topic to discuss, especially now with everything else that’s happening. “I see, well I am sure that we’ll be able to find some at another hospital and we’ll be able to get some driven over. It might take a bit more time, but we’ll do what we can.”
“Will that affect Liam’s chances?” I gasp desperately. “Will he… you know?” The fact that she doesn’t answer me is worrying, I don’t like it at all. “Okay, well I’ll ask Nancy, she might be…”
“The girl that came in with the boy? No, we’ve already checked with her.” The nurse smiles at me in a way that I’m sure is supposed to be reassuring, but it doesn’t work at all. I feel all messed up inside. “I will make it my top priority to sort this out, just sit with your son and try not to worry.”
I watch her as she leaves the room, parting my lips as I scan my brain frantically to find some words to make her stay. I don’t know how comfortable I feel being left in the room on my own with my sick son. I need someone who will be able to care for him if things get crazy… but I don’t say anything quickly enough and soon I’m left by myself.
I turn my head towards Liam with my heart pounding in my mouth. He looks so frail and fragile there, it makes me want to weep. The tears are there behind my eyes but they aren’t coming out just yet. It’s like the tap is stuck and it won’t turn on. I slowly move my feet towards the bed, feeling like I’m floating on air as I move. None of this feels real, it has a real nightmarish quality to it. I blink my eyes a few times, wishing I could wake up, but all of this is so very real.
“Oh, Liam,” I gasp as I fall into the seat next to his bed. “I’m so sorry that this happened to you.” Of course, he doesn’t answer me, he’s blacked out on the bed but I hope he can hear me. I’ve heard that people in comas can still hear their loved ones as they talk, and I hope this is a similar situation. “I’m sorry, I just… I know that I haven’t been the best father in the world, but I want to be better.” I grab his hand and stare at his lifeless body, hating myself even more. “I have been planning for a while to change things around once this court case thing was done anyway, but now I realize more than ever how badly I need to change. I need to be there more for you.”
My head slumps forward and finally a tear falls out. This situation reminds me so much of that dreaded day when I lost all the other people in my family and that memory claws violently at my chest.
“You know, your mom would be really proud of the way that you’ve turned out.” I turn to the one subject that I never discuss with Liam because it’s so damn painful, which is something else that I need to change. I thought that I was doing him a favor by keeping him away from the hurtful topic, but now I can see that I was being selfish. I was doing what I needed. Now I know that’s something else I need to change. I need to keep Victoria’s memory alive within her. “She loved you so much, more than any other mother that I’ve ever known. She doted on you like you were a little china doll or something.” I
chuckle awkwardly to myself as I remember Victoria’s bond with Liam. “She would love you now. So damn much. She would be so… so…” The tears come hard and fast. “So…”
I can’t speak anymore, I’m a complete and utter sobbing mess. Yes, Victoria would be proud of Liam but I don’t think she would be me. I don’t think she’d be happy to see me all about work and nothing else. She’s probably haunting me right now, screaming in my ear that I need to be a better person, and I’ve been ignoring her. Carrying on in my own bullshit way.
Please, I beg in my mind, trying everything in the damn pathetic hope that someone might be haunting me. Please, Victoria, let Liam live. Help him. Do whatever the hell you can. Don’t take my boy away from me, please God, I need him. He’s perfect, he deserves to live.
I don’t really believe in ghosts or praying or whatever, but today, with Liam in a bed and tubes everywhere, with his life in the hands of other people, I’m willing to try anything. As the tears stream violently down my cheeks, I lose all control of myself and I lay my weeping head on my son’s body. I need someone to find some A positive blood and quickly. I don’t know how much more of this I can take…
Chapter Twenty Two – Katy
I breathe a deep sigh and collapse against the wall as soon as I leave the meeting room behind me, having come to some sort of agreement. I definitely don’t think that was my best work since I didn’t have Evan with me and my head wasn’t fully in the game, but I’m content with what I’ve achieved. I think it’s the best thing I can get for the time being and I have more time to work on things.