Fatal Attraction

by Mia Ford

  When I got there, she was surprised to see me, but she was even more surprised at the fact that my face was puffy, and my eyes were red. She moved to the side and let me in, looking confused when I shuffled by. She closed the door and walked over to me, sitting down beside me and taking my hands. I shook my head and laughed through a sob, realizing how crazy I was sounding.

  “My father came by yesterday, and Tanner was in the apartment,” I said starting my explanation. “He hid in my room while my father and I talked. When my dad asked if I was seeing Tanner anymore, I panicked and said no. He heard it.”

  “Uh oh,” Brianna said.

  “Wait, it gets worse,” I said drying my tears. “I went to work to try to talk to him, and he let me have it. He told me how hurtful I was, and then I quit, saying I would be back the next day to get my things.”

  “Ava,” Brianna said, rolling her eyes. “Why do you insist on constantly torturing yourself?”

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “I have an internal block on my happy.”

  “Well, you need to tell Tanner how you feel,” she said, shaking her head and walking over to her kitchen.

  “What?” I didn’t want to admit my feelings. “I don’t feel any way toward him.”

  Brianna grabbed two glasses and poured a bit of whiskey in each, walking over and handing me one. I leaned back and took a sip, sighing as the warmth hit my chest. Instantly, I began to calm down a bit, and I knew that Brianna wasn’t buying it at all. Why was it so hard for me to admit my feelings for Tanner? It wasn’t like Brianna gave a shit either way. She just wanted me to be happy.

  “You know what I think?”

  “What?” Here it comes.

  “I think you are full of shit,” she said. “You show up at my door with obvious signs that you have been crying. You quit a job you had been working toward for years, and your story revolved around Tanner and how much you hurt him. I think you love him.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” I snapped. “I’ve been seeing him for like two weeks, and he is the biggest playboy ever.”

  “Well, from the sound of it, you have gotten to that playboy,” she smiled. “And you got to yourself as well. Ava there is nothing wrong with loving someone, with being happy with more than just work, but what is not okay is lying to yourself about it and ruining everything in your life to keep that lie.”

  “It’s good, then, that you’re wrong, and I don’t love him.” I crossed my arms.

  “You are absolutely impossible.” She sighed. “Seriously, you are so hell-bent on proving yourself that you’re hurting yourself. But hey, it’s not my love life, so I’ll leave you alone on it.”

  “Thank you,” I said relaxing a bit.

  “Come on,” she said, standing up and sticking out her hand. “We are going to get all dolled up and go out to Exclusives, the new club in Manhattan. Me and a guest are on the list.”

  I did not feel like going to a club at all, but Brianna was all I had left, and I wasn’t about to fight her on this. I stuck out my hand and let her help me up, following her back to the bedroom. I sat down on the bed as she started pulling clothes from the closet, tossing me a tight, short, red dress. She disappeared into the other room, eyeing the dress. She wanted me to put it on, so I gave her a fake smile and stood up, undressing and sliding the dress over my head. I looked in the mirror and was impressed at how perfectly it hugged my curves. Unfortunately, when my eyes met my face, I cringed. I was puffy and red, something that did not go with the outfit.

  “Okay,” she said, coming out in a black version of the dress. “Let’s see you. You look great!”

  “Just one problem,” I said.

  “What?”

  “This face,” I said pointing at it. “I am scary and swollen.”

  “Girl, don’t you know me by now? I got this.” She grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me into the bathroom.

  By the time she was done curling, scrunching, and teasing my hair, and applying some seriously heavy makeup, I actually looked like a sexy twenty-something once again. I stared at myself in the mirror, shocked at the magic she performed. Now if only I felt as good on the inside as I did on the outside, I would actually feel like I was getting my life back. After that, we slipped on our heels and headed out, reaching the club relatively quickly.

  When we walked in, the lights were flashing and the music was bumping and Brianna didn’t waste any time getting us a couple of shots and two strong drinks. I needed something strong that night since I couldn’t seem to get Tanner off my mind, and I was terrified I was going to start crying again. Nobody wanted to be the crying girl at the club, and there was always bound to be one of them. Instead, I started to drink copious amount of alcohol and get wasted. The music was sounding better and better every time I took a shot, and eventually, I found myself on the dance floor dancing by myself under the flashing strobe lights. I let go, allowing the alcohol to take over, forgetting everything shitty in my life and refusing to allow myself to think about Tanner.

  Whatever happened between us was obviously over, and I had a huge play in its demise. There was nothing I could do about it, so instead of whining and crying, I was going to enjoy my night. Brianna was chatting up some hot guy in the corner as I danced around the dancefloor, feeling free to do whatever I wanted. I hadn’t been out to the club but a handful of times, but I definitely felt like I could get used to it. I wasn’t interested in the men at that moment, but I recognized that when I was, this was definitely the place to start of a conversation with one. No one that went to clubs were looking for happily ever after, they were looking for a one-night stand. Right now, I was just looking to dance away into oblivion with my Jack Daniels and my six-inch-heels. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back, feeling the room spinning around me.

  “Hey, there,” a deep voice said as I opened my eyes.

  He was handsome as hell with jet black hair, dimples, and the perfect smile. He had walked up to me on the dancefloor and his eyes roamed my body. While normally I would be interested, his mere presence did nothing but make me think about Tanner, something I did not want to do at all. I took in a deep breath and tried to push past the feeling, smiling back at him.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “What’s your name?”

  “Ava,” I yelled over the music. “You?”

  “Elliot,” he said, sipping his drink.

  He set the drink down on the tray of a passing server and leaned in close to me. I could smell his cologne, but instead of turning me on, I felt a rock drop in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t Tanner’s scent. I tried to ignore the feeling in my chest, but as his hand slipped around my waist, I knew I couldn’t do it. I pulled back and shook my head, turning quickly and setting my drink on the table. I walked quickly through the club, feeling like if I didn’t get air, I was going to suffocate to death. I burst through the exit door and took in a deep breath of the cold New York night. I started walking down the sidewalk, stopping half a block down and resting against a building. I ignored the stares as people walked by, knowing I looked like a drunk hooker.

  I pulled out my phone and scrolled through the numbers, knowing who I wanted to call but hesitating for a moment. Screw it, I wasn’t going to let it go until I called. I dialed Tanner’s number and listened to it ring and ring, eventually switching to the voicemail. I groaned pulled the phone from my ear, hitting the end button. When the home screen came back, I realized it was late, after midnight, and it was a work night for Tanner. He was probably sound asleep in his bed. Just as I was getting ready to put my phone back in my purse, it rang, Tanner’s face popping up on the screen. I took in a deep breath realizing I had no choice but to answer.

  “Hi,” I said quietly. “I’m so sorry that I called you that late. I didn’t realize the time.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “Just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.”

  “Are you drunk?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Brianna drag
ged me out to this new club, and I was so upset I just started drinking.”

  “You need to be careful out there all alone,” he said sleepily. “Go grab a cab and get home safely, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said, bummed that he was trying to get off the phone.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said.

  “Tanner,” I called out, but he had already hung up.

  I sighed and walked forward, hailing a cab. I had screwed up so bad, made him so angry, that he didn’t even want to talk to me for more than a few minutes. Two weeks ago, he would have come and gotten me, taking me back to his place. But now, well now, he was sleeping and treated me like I was some random girl calling him in the middle of the night. I didn’t understand how he could turn his emotions off so quickly, but I wanted to learn his trick. I was already tired of feeling the broken heart inside of my chest.

  Chapter 27: Tanner

  My office seemed lonely and quiet, and I wasn’t looking forward to Ava coming in and giving her resignation. I didn’t want her to leave, and I couldn’t lie that when she called me the night before, I had been still awake, thinking about her. I wanted so badly to jump in my car and go rescue her, bring her back to the penthouse, and make passionate love to her, but I didn’t think I could handle the aftermath. Our relationship had been up and down, over and over again, and my emotions were pulled to the thinnest they could go without snapping.

  She had made her choice to not be with me and to quit, and I had to accept that, move forward, and not jump every time she called. I knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose. I knew she was confused as hell, but I didn’t know how to be there for that and not be aiding her in continuing that behavior. Even if I had rescued her the night before, she would have had to eventually stop going in these destructive circles that she was stuck in. I thought maybe if I removed myself from the equation, it would help break the cycle.

  I looked up as Ava knocked on the doorframe, her clothes pressed but her hair pulled back and giant sunglasses covering her eyes. She reached up and pushed her glasses up on her head, revealing her tired and puffy eyes. I could tell that she had one hell of a hangover, and I tried my best to hide the smirk trying to creep over my lips. I sat up in the chair and motioned for her to come in. She pulled herself from the door frame and walked in, closing the door behind her, and wobbling slightly as she walked.

  “Wow,” I said with a chuckle. “How was your night last night?”

  “Ugh,” she groaned. “Full of liquor and anger. You know, the normal.”

  “Why were you all alone outside when you called me?”

  “I was dancing on the dance floor, lost in the music, and this guy hit on me,” she said shaking her head. “So, I left.”

  Instantly, without warning jealously blew through me like wind. I gripped down on the chair arms and looked down at my computer screen, trying not to show her how much that bothered me. Why was she telling me this? To make me jealous? I didn’t even know how to respond to it, and I could tell she was not realizing what it sounded like. I took in a deep breath and relaxed my muscles, knowing that I needed to cool down. Even if it did bother me that a guy was hitting on her, obviously, she didn’t go home with him since she called me after leaving the club. Still, just the idea of some other man’s hands on her made me want to break something, or someone. I cleared my throat and glanced up at her, but she was too hungover to even realize that I was struggling with the thought of another man. I was thankful since I was trying to keep my composure. I took in a deep breath to say something, anything to clear the silence, but before I could respond she leaned forward and began to speak.

  “I didn’t like it,” she said. “I didn’t like another man anywhere near me. Just his proximity to me made me miss you terribly, even after trying to drink your memory out of my head.”

  “Really?” I was taken back by her words, but not because she felt that way, more because she was being honest about it.

  “Yeah,” she sighed. “I went straight to Brianna’s yesterday when I left here, and though I didn’t want to go to the club, I didn’t know what else to do to get you out of my head. I missed everything about you and that guy’s cologne made me want to run away in tears, which was pretty much what I did. He probably thought he had an odor problem or something.”

  “Serve’s him right,” I said angrily. She looked up and smiled, finally noticing the jealousy that I was no longer trying to hide.

  She was being open and honest with me, even after how I had reacted to her the day before. I could see a desperation in her eyes that showed me she knew this was her last chance to talk to me about this, to make me want to forgive her. There was something about her that just melted me right there in my office chair. I should have been angry about that, having spent days building up a wall against any more heart break but I wasn’t. In fact, the feeling of anger leaving was a weight off my chest, and I felt like I could finally breathe again.

  “Ava,” I said leaning forward. “Don’t do this. Don’t leave. I want you to stay with the company. There is so much here for you, and it would be stupid of you to walk away now. You were even brought up during the executive meeting earlier, and they couldn’t get enough of you. You are a jewel and important to everyone here.”

  “I don’t know,” she said looking sad. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can come here every single day and look across the hall and see your face. I don’t know if I can keep my emotions away, always feeling like I need to make it up to you. I just don’t know what the right choice is.”

  I sat there staring at her, not knowing what to do or say, but I knew I couldn’t let her go. I couldn’t let her walk away from this job, from everything, and from me. I started to doubt myself, feeling that I had lost control again, but this time I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted to have the right words come to me so that I could convince her to stay, to be there across the hall from me. I couldn’t promise her it wouldn’t be hard seeing each other every day, but that was not my worry at that point. My worry was that she was going to walk away, and I would never see her again, left without her expertise at MJ, and without her presence in my life. I had never felt fear like that before over a woman, and it was making me think about things I would have never thought about when I was single for the last decade. I wanted to be completely unselfish, needing her to be happy and well.

  “Look,” I said leaning forward. “It’s obvious that I want to see you all the time, that hasn’t changed. But I’m asking you to stay for more than just selfish reasons. I want you to stay because there is so much opportunity here for you. The merger is here, and if you are part of that, you can go anywhere with your career. No one your age can say they were part of the leadership team in a multibillion-dollar merger. It is just unheard of, but you are the best person for the job. I don’t want you to miss out on that because you are unsure of us. Please, don’t do that. Take the weekend and really think about what you want, don’t just make a rash decision.”

  She sighed and put her hands up to her face, stressing out by the amount of choices she was facing. She was so beautiful, and I wanted nothing more to go over to her and wrap my arms around her. She was the woman I wanted, no matter what decision she made, but I couldn’t say that, not yet. I needed to let her make this decision for herself. It was so difficult, though, and I couldn’t help but think about my life without her in it. Just the thought made me feel sick to my stomach, and I began to panic, thinking she was going to make the wrong decision. I didn’t know what the wrong decision for her was, though, only knowing that if she left, it would be the wrong decision for me.

  Instantly, I felt the panic growing stronger and stronger. I stood up from my stool and walked around the desk, pulling Ava up from her chair. She looked at me with confusion in her eyes as I stared at her, my face crumpled in fear. I had never felt this way about any woman before in my life, and I knew that if I walked away from this now, never showing her how much I cared, I woul
d regret it for the rest of my life. I pulled her in and hugged her tightly, feeling her body go from stiff to relaxed as she leaned into me. It felt so good to feel her near me, to have her breathing close to my chest. At that moment, I knew there was no way that I could let her go without a fight.

  “I’m not asking you,” I whispered. “I’m begging you. Please don’t leave. Stay with me. Stay here at the company. Stay in my life. I don’t care in what way.”

  She pulled back and looked at me with surprise, assuming I would never reach that level. In all reality, I never thought I would reach that level either, but it was like my heart wouldn’t allow my brain to be embarrassed about it at all. She looked at me, breathing hard, thinking about my words, her face softening. A small smile moved across her lips, and she shook her head.

  “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered. “That was more than anyone has ever said to me before.”

  “You don’t need to say anything at this point,” I said, pulling her back toward me.

  I leaned down and tipped her chin toward me, pressing my mouth against hers and kissing her passionately. She reached her arms around my neck and hung there, allowing me to taste her skin, move my lips over hers, and rub my arms over her back. This seemed exactly perfect, more perfect than I had realized before, and I never wanted to let Ava go.

  I had spent my entire life, looking forward, fighting through the rough patches to get to where I wanted to be. My company was almost taking over itself at that point, and my life was becoming less and less stressful. I hadn’t thought about starting a life outside of work for a very long time, but with Ava in my life, it seemed like I wasn’t going to have a chance to make any other decision.