COOL BEANS

by Erynn Mangum

  “Yeah.”

  “Don’t sound too excited.”

  “I’m trying, Jack, I really am. I do love my brother. They just make normal everyday conversation so much harder.”

  “Like how?”

  “Like, I don’t know how to explain it.” I set the pink ball down. “It’s like everything just gets awkward and stilted. I want to say it’s because we’re still not used to Kate being there, but conversation with Zach has always been a little hard. He’s a super smart doctor, and I’m a barista.” I shrug. “Not that Mom and Dad care, but I do.”

  Jack smiles sympathetically. “Not like this helps too much, but I like you as a barista.”

  I tap the ball for another hole-in-one. “Thanks, Jack.”

  “I hate you as a golf player, but I like you as a barista.”

  I laugh.

  At three forty-five, I turn in my club to the man in the stripy suit and grin at Jack. “Thanks for the afternoon. That was fun.” In all, I got ten holes-in-one. Jack got three.

  It’s a new record — for both of us, I think.

  “I’m glad you had a good time.” He rolls his eyes. “I’d say the same, but I think I need to go home and soak my self-esteem now.”

  I smirk. “Told you.” I look at my phone and see the time. I still have to change clothes and pick up Calvin, plus the hour drive. “Well, I should get going. I’ll see you at work tomorrow. We’re opening this week, right?”

  “You got it.”

  “Okay. Bye, Jack.” I smile and wave, starting toward my car.

  He has a sad expression on his face as he waves. “See you, Maya.” He heads to his car.

  Well, in all honesty, I did warn him I’d beat the snot out of him, so I’m not too concerned about the forlorn look on his face. It just makes me smile more as I drive home to pick up Calvin.

  I get to Mom and Dad’s a little after five. Dad is out front, watering his favorite tree.

  I park in front of the house and wave. “Hi, Dad!”

  “Leave the car running, sweetheart.”

  I do as he says, half-annoyed because I’m twenty-four but half-smiling because Dad equates my car being in good shape with him still taking care of me. I guess it’s a father-being-pro-tective-of-his-little-girl type of thing. But all of this protective-ness just means I have no idea how to do anything on my car because Dad always does it. What if I stall out in the middle of a desert someday? Never mind why I’m in a desert, but I’d be stuck there.

  Zach and Kate’s Hummer is in the driveway already. I hop out, popping the hood. Calvin hurries out after me, running for my dad.

  “Hi, Calvin!” He rubs the dog’s ears. “Hi, sweetie,” he says to me. “How’s it running?” He lifts the hood and looks at the Jeep’s innards.

  “Fine. Seems to be running just fine.”

  He swipes his finger on some post-rain sludge. “Kind of dirty down here, Maya.”

  “Well, it’s been raining,” I say defensively.

  “Hmm.” He leans further under the hood, his head and shoulders disappearing. I stand there for a minute. “You can go on in. Tell your mom I’ll just be looking at the Jeep for a few minutes,” he says.

  “Okay.”

  Calvin opts to stay with Dad, and I walk into the house. I immediately smell a pot roast, and I hear Mom talking. I find her, Zach, and Kate all in the living room. There’s no fire going in the huge fireplace, and Mom’s not wearing sweatpants. Zach’s got on khakis and a button-up, and Kate’s wearing a skirt.

  I guess we’re not lounging in front of the fireplace playing Cranium tonight. I tuck away the disappointment. Most Sunday nights I drive home still giggling over Dad acting out something stupid.

  “Hey, guys,” I say.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” Mom says, giving me a hug. “How was the drive?”

  “Uneventful.”

  “That’s good to hear,” she says. She smoothes my curls away from my cheek.

  “Hi, Zach. Hey, Kate.”

  “Hi,” they say together.

  Mom looks at me. “We were just talking about Zach’s new position at the children’s hospital.”

  “You like it?” I ask.

  “I love it. My supervisor is very helpful, and the cases are challenging. I’ve got a couple of surgical procedures already lined up for next week.”

  I nod. “Cool. Kate, did you find a job?” Kate has been applying all over San Diego for any lawyer openings.

  She starts nodding. “I think so. I have a second interview tomorrow morning at eight.”

  “Nice.” “Mm-hmm.”

  I look at Mom, who is still playing with my hair. “Hi, Mom,” I say, relaxing into her touch.

  “What did you do today, Maya?” she asks.

  “I went to church, and then Jack and I went miniature golfing.”

  “Fun.”

  “Yeah.”

  The conversation lapses, and I hold back a sigh. It might be a long evening. My back pocket buzzes, and I pull out my cell phone.

  It’s a text message from Jen. I’m going out with Travis tonight, so I might be home later. Just didn’t want you to panic.

  Funny.

  I put my cell phone back. We’ve moved on to discussing gas prices — the go-to topic if there’s nothing else to talk about. It’s probably because no one likes them, so everyone can agree.

  Mom pulls on a pair of mitts and opens the oven to a steaming roast surrounded by potatoes and carrots.

  “Mmmm,” I sigh. “This is why I come home every week.”

  “Thanks. I miss you, too.” Mom smirks.

  “And for the wonderful company,” I quickly add.

  “Too late.” Mom slides the roast onto a pot holder on the countertop. “But I’m glad you like the cooking.”

  “Definitely beats instant dinners.”

  Zach shakes his head. “Do you know the sodium content in those?”

  “Probably high.” I snag a steaming carrot. “Good thing I’m still so young and fit,” I say, batting my eyelashes.

  “Maya.” Zach puts on his doctor voice.

  “Uh-oh,” I sigh.

  Mom grins at me.

  “A diet high in sodium is the number one cause of high blood pressure, which leads to a whole bucketful of other health issues.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Davis,” I say.

  Mom saves me. “Maya, go call your father for dinner.”

  “Okay.” I head for the garage and find Dad wiping off his hands with an oil-stained rag. “Dad, dinner’s ready.”

  “Thanks, Maya. I just finished changing your Jeep’s oil, so you should be set for a few months.”

  “Thanks, Dad!” I smile. “I was planning on going by Jiffy Lube later… .”

  He shakes his head. “Those guys just don’t do as good of a job.”

  I grin.

  He finishes on his hands and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Things are going okay?”

  I shrug. “Yeah.”

  He nods. “Good. I know I’m not the most attentive, but how are you doing with Zach back in town?”

  I give him a small smile. “You’re observant.”

  He squeezes my shoulders. “Well, I did watch you two grow up together.”

  “That you did.”

  “And I just want you to know that even though he’s back in town, we’ll try our best to keep Sunday nights the way they were.”

  I wrap my arm around his waist. “So, can we play Cranium tonight?”

  He laughs. “Think it’s time Kate saw the real Davis family?”

  “I think she can handle it. Besides, she’s married now. There’s no turning back.”

  He walks inside with me. “Sounds good to me then.”

  I get home at ten thirty. I park in front of the apartment complex, grab my purse, and nudge a sleeping Calvin. “Wake up, bud. We’re home.”

  He sleepily follows me out of the car and up the stairs. Right as I get to the top of our stairs, Jen’s car pulls into her spot. I w
ave and leave the door open for her.

  She walks in as I dump my purse on the kitchen table and turn on the lights.

  “Hi, Maya.” She smiles. She takes off her long overcoat and hangs it in the closet. She’s wearing a cranberry lacy dress and gold heels. Her hair is falling over her shoulders in beautiful curls.

  “Dang, girl,” I say, nodding in appreciation. “You are dressed to kill.”

  She curtsies. “Why, thank you.” She frowns at my jeans and navy blue sweater that I still have on from church. “I thought you went to your parents?”

  “I did.”

  “Dressed like that?”

  “Zach and Kate are in town now.”

  “Oh,” she says in understanding. “Got it.”

  “How was your date?”

  She sighs. “Amazing.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Maya, he’s so wonderful. He’s charming and funny and handsome and generous. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  I force a smile and sit on the couch, preparing for another Travis dish. I have to get up in about seven hours to open at Cool Beans, so my day tomorrow is looking less and less cheerful.

  Jen plops on the opposite end of the couch. “But we’ve already gone over this before,” she says, surprising me. “What did you do today?”

  “Well, after church, I went golfing with Jack and then — ”

  “Wait a second,” she interrupts, waving her hands. “You went golfing? With Jack?” A very annoying smile spreads across her face. “Oh.”

  “Okay, first off, it was miniature golf, and I kicked the daylights out of him; I won so bad. And second, what’s the big deal? Jack’s one of my best friends.”

  “Nothing, nothing. No big deal,” she sing-songs.

  I sigh and rub my cheek. Apparently, we are still in the “Why Can’t Everyone Be as Happy as Us?” stage but at a much higher level. I’d rather be set up with another no-personality package than have Jen start trying to match me up with Jack.

  Match me up with Jack? I bite back a laugh. Even the thought is ridiculous. He’s my best friend and one of the greatest guys I know.

  “Jenny,” I say in a barely disguised friendly warning. “Don’t even go there.”

  “Why not? Jack’s fun and kind and already understands all of your weird quirks.”

  “Weird quirks? What weird quirks? I don’t have any quirks.”

  Jen rolls her eyes. “Please, Maya. What about getting a bowl of ice cream at one fifteen in the morning? Or writing every single thing possible down on a sticky note that you’ll probably never read again because there’s a layer of notes as thick as my hand all over your desk?”

  “Those aren’t weird.”

  “We haven’t even gotten to your dog. He howls every single Wednesday night; he does Pilates, for goodness’ sake.” She shakes her head. “See, Jack knows these things, and he still likes you!”

  I hold up both hands. “Okay, stop. I love Jack. But I don’t love him like that. At all. Got it? He’s a terrific person, and I’m sure that God has someone amazingly special picked out for him. But it’s not me.” I sigh. “I want to feel something like you feel with Travis. Jack is one of my favorite people, but I don’t feel all squishy inside like I” — I cough — “likeyou do with Travis.”

  “Well, if that’s how you feel.”

  “It is.”

  “Then I’ll leave you alone. But Maya,” she says, leaning closer, “think about everything that Jack means to you. You tell him everything. Just don’t take it for granted.”

  “I don’t.” Suddenly I have the worst craving for ice cream. I get up and head for the freezer. “I just don’t think it’s anything more than friendship.” I grab the new container of caramel-fudge ice cream and start shoveling it into a bowl.

  Jen watches me in silence from the couch. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “I’m not upset.” I grab the chocolate syrup.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “Jenny, I’m not.”

  She sighs. “Maya, what’s wrong? For the last month you’ve been sulking around all depressed. You hardly smile half as much as you used to. It’s like you’re …” She looks away.

  “Like I’m what?”

  “Like you’re not telling me something. What’s wrong?”

  I nearly wince as she nails the truth.

  “I know you’re not dealing with Zach moving back very well, and you never talk to me about it. Is that it?”

  I shrug.

  She rubs her hands through her hair. “I know I’ve been preoccupied with Travis, and I’m sorry. I haven’t been a good friend.”

  The guilt is coating my throat so thick I can barely muscle the ice cream down. I sit back down on the couch and shake my head. “Don’t be sorry. You’re a great friend.”

  She scoots closer to me. “What’s going on? I watched you this morning at church. You barely heard two words Andrew said.”

  “I heard more than two words,” I say defensively.

  “Yeah? What did he teach on?”

  “James.”

  “What in James?”

  I look at her. “So I was a little distracted.”

  “Maya, I recognize that you and Zach have this whole sibling rivalry going on, but his moving back cannot be the end of your walk with God. I mean, have you ever thought maybe that’s why you’re not happy?”

  Irritated, I lick my spoon. What gives Jen the authority to tell me what’s wrong with my life? Everything was just fine before she had to go and start dating Travis. Even though I barely see him, I still have to hear her dish about him all the time and picture him falling in love with her blond adorable self.

  Not that I blame Travis entirely. Jen is an amazing, wonderful person. She’s funny; she’s smart; and she’s head over heels in love with God. She’s beautiful.

  A far cry from weird, quirky me, right? Me, who can barely make it through a day without my bowl of frozen creamy sugar. Me, who spent how many years trying to be the perfect girl for Travis Clayton, only to find out right after Christmas five years ago that not only was I not the perfect girl, but no matter what I did, I could never be her. Me, who had finally, finally moved on … And then God had to go and make Travis fall in love with my very own perfect roommate.

  I freeze, spoon halfway in my mouth.

  Oh, God. She’s right.

  Not about Zach, obviously, but about the end of my walk with God. I’m so angry and I never even really confessed to it … until just now.

  Seriously, God, why?

  I was head over heels in love with Travis. When we broke up, I thought it would be okay. He was at Stanford; I was in Hudson. We’d never have to see each other again. You would think that an all-loving God would be sensitive to this and not allow him to start dating Jen.

  Jen pats my leg. “Just think about it, Maya. You’ve got an early morning, so I won’t keep you up. Good night. I love you.” She leans over to give me a hug. I smell her flowery perfume.

  “Night. Love you, too.”

  She goes into her bedroom and shuts the door. Calvin is dead asleep next to the love seat. The apartment is quiet. The only light is the one over the kitchen table.

  I sit there quietly for a long time.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Monday morning does not start well.

  It’s another rainy, overcast day. I ended up getting about four hours of sleep because I couldn’t fall asleep for a while.

  I block a yawn and push through the door of Cool Beans. The lights are already on, and Jack’s whistling by the coffee grinder.

  I pull off my hood and wince at the frizzy curls that are exploding out of my head.

  “Good morning, Pattertwig.” Jack smiles from behind the counter. “You look a little tired.”

  “Mmm.” I sit on one of the bar stools and lay my forehead on my arms. “I didn’t sleep very well.”

  He slides a mocha across the counter. “Here. Drink up.”


  I take it and hold it between both hands. He turns and keeps working on the coffee, still whistling. I think it’s a Chris Tomlin song.

  “Thanks,” I say, sipping. The mocha is the perfect blend of espresso, smooth chocolate, and cream. He even added a touch of cinnamon. “This is great.”

  “Well, I am a professional.” He grins at me. “Why didn’t you sleep well?”

  “I don’t know.” I rub my face. Yet another lie. I sigh. “Okay, I do know.”

  He gives me an understanding look. “You don’t have to tell me, Nutkin.”

  “It’s this whole thing with Travis and Jen. I feel so guilty that I can’t even think about anything else.” I rub my forehead.

  He finishes with the coffee and turns to look at me. “Maya,” he says, one of his rare uses of my name, “this is probably too personal, but …” He rubs the back of his neck.

  “What?”

  “Well, when was the last time you had a good long talk with God about it?” He winces. “That’s really personal. Don’t answer that.”

  I smile. “You’re one of my best friends. You’re allowed to ask.” I take another sip of my mocha and stand, going over to toss my purse and coat in the cabinet and get my apron. I’m stalling, trying to figure out how to answer his question.

  On the one hand, I just got mad at God last night about all this. On the other hand, I haven’t been able to have a good devotion since any of this happened.

  Andrew always says that a good devotional time is not God’s responsibility, it’s ours.

  “So, did you recover from the miniature-golf embarrassment?” I ask Jack, pulling on my apron and changing the subject for a few minutes.

  He looks at me as I come back to the front and sticks out his tongue. “There was no recovery period needed, Nutkin. You got lucky.”

  “Right.” I roll my eyes. “You got creamed.”

  He just sighs. “You know, I thought you were joking about the hole-in-one thing.”

  “Well, I wasn’t. My dad is a golf nut.” I smile at him, kneel on the floor, and start checking the inventory in the small fridge out front. Alisha will be by sometime today or tomorrow for the list, so it’s best to have a head start on that for her.

  He finishes with the dark roast and moves on to grinding the medium roast, our house blend. If I weren’t such a fan of dark coffee, I’d love this blend. It’s super smooth and has these subtle nutty overtones. It’s a great dessert coffee.