Under Her Skin

by Michelle Love

  ‘I can make you warm, baby…’

  She turned at the sound of his voice, smiling but the joy turned to horror. Theo aimed a gun at her. Confusion.

  ‘Theo? What are you doing…?’

  The first bullet made a whooshing sound and smashed into her belly, right through her navel. She gasped at the pain, looking down to see blood start to pour from the wound when a second, an inch higher, hit her. ‘No, no….’

  Theo was laughing. ‘I told you I’d make you warm, hot…’ He shot her again, walking towards her. Jess wondered why she didn’t fall or clutch at her wounds but she just stood there, taking one bullet after another. When Theo reached her, he pressed the cold muzzle against her skin, pulling the trigger so many time it was impossible…no gun would hold that many bullets….is this a dream? Am I dead? God, someone help me, wake me….

  Cold. Something slimy passed over her skin. A fist was being jammed down her throat and she tried to cough, tried to gasp for air but the pressure in her chest, her lungs was unrelenting. She opened her eyes and saw blackness, a flicker of light but mostly dark, oily darkness. She realized what the slimy thing was, what the blackness was. Water.

  She was drowning.

  She struggled, tried to make her arms move, to propel her body upwards, out of the water but something seemed to be holding her down. Her mouth, her nose filled with water and now she began to panic, her lungs, her stomach filling with choking water. She pushed up desperately and managed to break the surface. The full moon was the only light in the dark night. The black spots in her eyes were back and they swept over her sight, blinding her again. She struggled, wrenched her body upwards but unconsciousness was threatening. She struggled but then one thought kept replaying itself in her mind.

  Oblivion took her as, exhausted, shattered and broken, she finally stopped struggling and gave up.

  She opened her eye to bright whiteness and a clean, antiseptic smell. Unfamiliar surroundings. A hospital. She moved her head and saw Theo at the window. Jess struggled into a sitting position before saying his name. He looked around, strain obvious in his eyes.

  ‘How do you feel?’ Clipped, distant.

  ‘Theo, what am I doing here?’

  Theo sat on the bed and sighed. ‘You decided to go for a little midnight swim. I think you were sleepwalking, so do the docs, because I know, I know, you’re not stupid enough to swim in the ocean alone at night.’

  She raised her eyebrows at his harsh tone. ‘Theo… of course not. Why the hell would you think that?’

  His eyes were hard. ‘And it wasn’t… anything else?’

  She was getting irritated now. ‘Like what?’ Then she realized and her whole body relaxed. ‘God, Theo, no. It wasn’t on purpose if that’s what you mean.’ She reached out to him but he drew away, not looking at her.

  ‘You were just floating there. You’d given up. I thought… Jesus, Jess, I thought I’d lost you. Again.’

  She slid out of bed and went to hold him, pulling his head onto her chest. ‘Theo… never. I would never do that.’ She tilted his head up so he could see her and tried to smile. ‘Too many other people are trying to kill me, why would I do it myself? That’s just poor time management.’

  ‘Don’t joke. I thought you were dead.’

  ‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened, I had a nightmare…’

  She trailed off as the nightmare came screeching back. Theo. Shooting her. Theo. She shivered and then it was his turn to tighten his grip. ‘What? What is it?’

  She tried to swallow the stone that seemed lodged in her throat. ‘Nothing. Stupid subconscious. Never gives me dreams about a threesome with you and Beyonce, does it?’

  Theo smiled then. ‘Nice to know who I can expect a threesome with.’

  She nodded sagely. ‘No woman would turn down Beyonce, straight or gay. It is writ.’

  He laughed. ‘’It is writ’?

  She grinned and looked around the room. ‘Where are we?’

  ‘Medical centre on Male.’

  Jess sighed. ‘I honestly feel fine. Can we go?’

  Theo hesitated. ‘Maybe we should wait for the doctor.’

  Jess flexed her shoulders in irritation. ‘You know what, let’s not. She slid out of the bed and grabbed the bag of her stuff Theo had obviously brought with him. She went into the little bathroom to dress, closing the door behind her. She couldn’t figure why she was so irritated. She dressed quickly, avoiding her reflection in the mirror over the sink.

  Scratch that, she did know. It was all the crap followed them everywhere. All she had done was slept-walked for Christ's sake and Theo was acting… god. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. No. This was an accident. She didn’t want the rest of their vacation to be tainted, like everything else, by fear, stress, a tense atmosphere.

  She pulled open the door and smiled brightly at Theo. ‘Ready when you are.’

  Theo gazed at her for a long moment with an expression that she couldn’t read them, eventually, held out his hand to her.

  ‘Let’s go home.’

  Jules stood on the bridge, staring down at Deception Pass, glinting with the last rays of the sun. He’d walked across the island in the hope it would alleviate some of his frustration at having to wait for Jessica to return home. His fingers, his hands, all of his limbs ached to be touching her, hurting her. He would sometimes, late at night, open his mouth as wide as it would go and scream, silently, into the darkness.

  He looked down at the cold waters below. Sometimes he wanted to jump, no, no not even that that, fall, freefall into the depths, tumble. Let his limbs go weak, let the filthy water stream through his nostrils, his mouth, batter his eyes from their sockets. Dissolve. Even when he hit the bottom, to suck up the bed, bore into the earth. Disappear. So easy, so final. But then she would be left here, in the world and he could not let that happen. She would be with him soon and he would finally be at peace, bathing in her blood, watching her breathe her last breath. This time, she would not survive. And afterward, hell, he didn’t care if he never escaped. He’d rather die alongside her. The thought was strangely freeing.

  He flexed his hands. He needed to feel something, needed a release. Not here. He turned around and walked back to his house. The evening was falling as he changed clothes and drove down to the ferry terminal. He would spend the night in the city, find an alternative, a Jess-like victim and he would sate his thirst.

  Jess woke up later than usual, fuzzy-headed. She got up, went into the bathroom to splash water on her face. Yesterday had been tense, strained. They'd barely spoken, retreating into their own spaces and for the first time they hadn’t made love before falling asleep. She was still annoyed with him. She loathed it when he treated her like some precious little child who could not look after herself. Deep inside, she knew, and understood, why he behaved like that but it still irritated her. It was times like this when she cursed her lack of independence. She felt guilty at the thought. She shook her head and swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat there for a few minutes, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, trying to ignore a headache banging around the back of her skull. She grabbed her kimono from the bottom of the bed and wrapping it around herself, padded barefoot out of the bedroom.

  She walked through the villa, peeking into each room until she found Theo, out on the deck. She stood and watched him for a while, his intense stare locked somewhere in the middle distance, his jaw flexing with tension. He wore the navy blue t-shirt she loved on him, khaki shorts. His dark short hair was damp; he must have been swimming. She walked silently behind him and ran her arms down his, kissing his temple.

  ‘Hey handsome.’

  He’d started a little when she’d touched him but now he pulled her onto his lap, smoothing his hands over her face, drawing her hair back away from it. She smiled and kissed him, felt his hands slip into her robe and onto her bare belly. His eyes, so often troubled nowadays, were softer, heavy with desire.

  ‘You know, I k
inda wish this wasn’t our last day here,’ he said, stroking his hands up and down her bare skin, ‘I could get used to this.’

  She silenced him with a kiss. Her mouth against his, her hands snaking down the front of his shorts to stroke his cock, her feather-light touch on the sensitive skin making Theo groan. She grinned and slid to her knees, taking his cock into her mouth, pushing his shorts away so she could fist her hand around the base of it, pulling gently, urging the blood to fill it as her tongue flicked around the ultra-sensitive tip. She was gratified by the sharp hiss Theo sucked through his teeth as she teased him, could taste the sharp salty tang of his pre-ejaculate on her tongue.

  ‘Jesus, Jess…’ He was breathless but she didn’t relent, stroking and sucking until his cock was so ramrod hard, she felt him tangle his fingers in her hair, pulling at it as he groaned and bucked under her, his semen rushing in hot, long spurts into her welcoming mouth. She’d barely finished tonguing him when he lifted her and bent her backward over the table, knocking his coffee cup to the decking with a crash. Jess grinned up at him as he used his knee to spread her legs then rammed his cock deep into her cunt. Theo bit down on her neck, her shoulders, squeezing her breasts, biting down on the small pink nipples until she was panting and writhing beneath him.

  ‘Tell me what you want, Jessie… tell me how you want it…’

  ‘Hard… harder… more… fucking rip me in two, Theo.’ She arched her body up and he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, still impaled on his cock and carried her inside. They didn’t make it to the bedroom, instead tumbling to the wooden floor.

  Jess clawed and fought with him as he fucked her, both of them laughing and growling in equal measure. Plowing deep into her soft, warm wetness, Theo drove himself until he heard her cry of pain then her don’t stop, don’t stop…. please….

  He pulled out and came on her belly, the thick white streams of cum streaking over her beautiful body. She shuddered and came as he massaged the sticky fluid into her skin, feeling her whole body vibrating with pleasure. Looking up, he saw the little box of toys they had brought with them. He caught Jess’s eye and she smiled, nodded and he reached over and grabbed the box, pushing the top off.

  ‘Hmm, what can I do you to you now, wife to be?’

  Jess, her gorgeous body still undulating as she caught her breath, looked at him, a wicked smile playing around that lush, bruised mouth. ‘What if we switch it up?’ Without even looking, she stuck her hand into the box and pulled out the dildo - the strap-on-dildo.

  Theo raised his eyebrows. ‘You want to fuck me, baby girl?’

  Jess grinned. ‘Hell, yes. I do… get on your stomach, boy, I’m in charge now.’

  ‘Fair’s fair,’ Theo said and kissed her before laying down flat on his belly, his trust in her absolute, no doubt in his mind. How many times had she trusted him to go there? It wasn’t something he’d experienced with anyone else but then again, there were a lot of things he’d experienced with Jess that he never had before. He grinned and told her what he was thinking.

  Jess laughed. ‘You bet your sweet ass. In fact, you are betting your sweet ass.’ Theo chuckled then sucked in a breath as she reached down between his legs and massaged his balls gently, pressing the tip of her middle finger deep against his perineum. ‘Damn, Jessie…. before we go any further, can I persuade you to slip into that little leather harness?’

  He felt her kiss his ear. ‘You got it.’ It took her less than thirty seconds and then he felt her weight on the back of his thighs again, her hand on his cock. She kissed the back of his neck then ran her tongue down the length of his spine to the top of his ass. He felt a warm liquid against his skin – oil, he guessed, because she moved her hands up and down his back, working his muscles. She was trying to relax him, he knew, and he leaned his head on his arms and closed his eyes, letting himself feel every sensation. Her hands worked up and down until, at last, one hand slipped into his crack, working massage oil into the deep crevice and caressing his cock and balls which pulsed and quivered under her touch. When, at last, he felt the tip of the dildo push into his anus, he was so relaxed that as she slid into him so slowly, so gently, all he felt was immense pleasure as the dildo massaged him and he felt Jess rocking gently above him, softly moaning, obviously enjoying it as much as he was.

  He came with a slowly, shuddering groan, his cock, tight against the floor and his belly, pumping hard. Jess withdrew and, removing the strap-on, lay down, her belly against his back, her lips against the back of his neck. She linked her fingers with his and they lay together, closer than they’d ever felt before.

  ‘Jessie,’ he mumbled eventually,’ Jessie…. you are my world, you know that.’ He shifted onto his back and wound his arms around her, kissing her tenderly. She smiled down at him.

  ‘And you are mine, Theodore Storm. Forever.’ She stroked his face. ‘Theo?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘Whatever it is that’s been bothering you lately… whatever it is… you know you can tell me, right?’

  He gazed back at her. She knew him so well, he was stupid to thinks he wouldn’t know something was up. Could he tell her about Malcolm? He looked into those lovely deep, warm eyes and couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

  ‘Jess… it’s just been… overwhelming and I think I’m rocking back a little from it all. I love you so much, god, so much and I’m not saying I’d change a single thing about us...I wouldn’t. But you, of all people know, it leaves scars.’ He touched the scars on her belly but she grabbed his hand and kissed it.

  ‘We’ll get through this, you know. Me and you together, we can beat anything.’

  ‘Never leave me.’

  ‘Never. Hell, if and when I die – don’t make that face – it’ll be old age or illness and not some asshole who likes to slice and dice. Theo, I promise you, I’ll fight to the end. And if you’re really lucky, if I go first…I’ll come back and ghost fuck you.’ She crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him and Theo started to laugh.

  ‘You are a nutball, you know that?’

  ‘Your nutball.’

  Theo smiled and pressed his lips to hers. ‘Damn right.’

  He'd come across her in a shop Downtown She was arguing with the insolent-looking cashier. He'd helped her out. Followed her home. Arranged to bump into her. She'd been grateful, invited him in for a drink, looking at him with interest. So easy. An hour later, she had been slumped in her chair, looking at him again, this time in confusion as he removed her shirt. He knew she thought he was going to rape her, and looked down at her in disgust. Whore. He told her then, exactly what he was going to do to her, that she wasn't worthy. He wouldn't sully himself on her. She tried to move, tried to scream as he raised the knife. And then, there was only pain, resignation.

  He threw a long swig of beer down his throat and looked around the room. It was a curious mix of the minimal and cluttered. One side of the huge room was stuffed with sofas, cushions, tables, books shoved in a jumble onto the shelves, the coffee table literature looked like it was actually read, rather than just for show. The space near the huge windows and the kitchen area, however, were sparse, clean lines. He nodded. It was a good place. She had taste. Pity.

  The release Jules Gachet craved came later and later now. Glancing down, he took in skin, torn flesh. He realized he could not remember her name. He crouched down and listened carefully. No breath. No longer a presence, just a torn and twisted tangle of bloodied limbs. A pretty woman, he stared at her face, now peaceful, no longer etched with the terror he had inflicted on her. He could summon up no feeling for her, pity or otherwise. As he’d killed her, she had worn Jess’s face, her screams were Jess’s screams, her blood, Jess’s blood. He relived the night he’d stabbed Jess, that wonderful, terrible night when he hadn’t been able to complete his mission. The night that somehow, incredibly, Jessica had survived.

  He stood, lit a cigarette, slumped into an old squashy armchair beside the girl’s body. He imagi
ned that in a few hours, homicide cops and crimes scenes officers, dressed head to toe in plastic moved around the room like ghosts, hoping to retrieve anything, any clue. Everything was sharper in his mind, sounds, sights, smells. The faint scent of honeysuckle pervading the air, the feel of the worn fabric of the chair through his light clothing. The girl's arm, flung above her head, the wrist curved around the chair leg, the fingers splayed, pointing accusing. He felt no guilt and yet still no release and he knew it was time

  Olive skin, dark eyes.

  As outside a shower streaked its way across the city, he thought only of her, his unending wait and how he would teach her, no, no teach them about loss. The longing grew stronger and stronger within him until his mouth opened, stretched wider and wider, and the rage flew from him, wrenching, twisting into a silent howl.

  He almost staggered to the nearest bar, ordered a double on the rocks. His stomach was churning his excitement. He watched the people go back and forth past the windows of the bar and pitied them.

  Every one of you, he wanted to scream out, every one of you will know my name.

  ‘Darlings!’ Amelia flew out of the house and gathered them into her arms. Theo grinned at Jess over his mother’s shoulder. After traveling for nearly twenty-four hours, all either of them had talked about was getting home, going straight to bed – to sleep. Theo’s mother clearly had other ideas.

  ‘Let’s look at you.’ Amelia pushed them both away and looked over the critically. ‘I expected you to have better tans…too busy screwing, eh?’

  Jess snorted out a laugh as Theo cringed. ‘Mom…god.’ He glared in amusement at a giggling Jess. ‘Don’t encourage her.’

  Jess shrugged as Amelia tucked a conspiratorial hand under her arm. ‘She’s right, though.’

  Theo rolled his eyes as the two women cracked up and, leaving them to it, grabbed the suitcases and took them inside. Amelia and Jess followed him and greeted the two excited dogs.