Under Her Skin

by Michelle Love

  “He did get you two boys the worst. I was crying before he ever spanked me. When the actual spanking came, I hardly felt it, but it didn’t stop me from wailing like a banshee,” Kate says as she takes a chair. I place a plate in front of her and put a spoon in the potato salad.

  “We never did that again, though. One spanking was enough,” Kent says as he puts the steaming plate full of brisket on the table, then goes back for the beans as the microwave beeps.

  “It wasn’t the spanking of myself that stopped me. It was hearing you two cry like you were being beaten to death that stopped me. That was the last time any of us were spanked, I do believe,” I say, then place the last two plates on the table and take my chair.

  “I never got another one,” Kate says as she starts making her plate.

  “Hey, wait!” Kent shouts at her. “We have to say grace, Kate.”

  She puts the spoonful of potato salad back in the bowl and nods. “You’re right. Especially today. Man, I can’t believe he’s gone. I just can’t believe it,” she says and picks up the napkin I gave her to wipe her eyes, which are springing leaks.

  “Hey, no crying at the table, sis,” I tease her. “You know the rules in pops’ house. Only good words are spoken at the table. Now tell me your best time with pops.”

  She nods, then takes a drink of her beer. “My best time with pops, huh? There are so many of them, I don’t know if I can pick a best one. But I think one of the top best times I had with pops was when he took us fishing.”

  Kent puts the beans on the table and sits down. “Yeah, fishing rocked with him.” He reaches out for our hands, and we each take one, then he looks at me. “You get to do this now that he’s gone, Blaine.”

  “Say grace?” I ask as I shake my head. “I don’t know what the hell to say.”

  Kate makes a snorting sound I assume is some kind of a laugh. “Just say what pops used to say. Wing it, Damien. I don’t think the meal will burst into flames, having one of Satan’s disciples praying over it.”

  I hate when she calls me that name, and she knows it. It’s no secret that all of my family thinks I’m heartless and must be demonic to do the things I do in business and in my personal life too. The name calling is something I usually don’t put up with, though.

  The occasion calls for me to laugh her off, so I do just that. “Okay, Kate. Let’s see what I can come up with. Bow your heads and close your eyes,” I tell them and watch to make sure they do. Then I bow too. “Lord, you’ve gained an angel in our father today. We know he’s safe and happy in your hands now. We’ve found this food he prepared before he left us. Now, we know it’s three days old, so if you could bless it to be sure it doesn’t make us sick, we’d all really appreciate that.”

  “Say something about us being thankful, Blaine,” Kent whispers.

  “And we are thankful, Lord. Not only for this food, but also for having our father for the amount of time you let us have him. He will be missed. He was a great man, a kind man, and a wise man.” A knot forms in my throat and I have to stop and clear it. “Amen.”

  This not crying at the table is a lot harder than I thought it’d be!

  Chapter 3

  BLAINE

  November 10th:

  Hurrying to turn the lamp on beside my bed, I sit up, trying to catch my breath. As the light comes on, illuminating my bedroom, I look around to be sure I’m really in my home on my estate rather than in my childhood bedroom with my father sitting on the edge of my twin bed, talking to me.

  Every damn night since we buried our father, I’ve had the same dream. Pops comes into my bedroom, the one I had as a kid, and sits down and starts talking to me about right and wrong.

  My head is aching with how much has been put into it, even though it’s not real at all. My heart is aching as well. I don’t recall ever feeling as much as I have in the last five days.

  It’s hard to believe my father is more with me now than when he was alive, but that’s how I feel. Yesterday I went to the corporate office, and when I found one of the employees from the Houston store in the reception area, I stopped to talk to him—an unusual thing for me.

  He told me he’d asked his manager for some time off with pay so he could go see his younger brother in the hospital. The manager had told him it was against our policy to give employees leave with pay for anything.

  I had to take him into my office because he started crying, and I found myself feeling terribly for him. He told me his ten-year-old brother had been diagnosed with the same disease that hit him at that exact age. He explained how the disease changed him, taking away his ability to walk and leaving him paralyzed from the waist down because it attacked his brain. It also took away some of his mental capabilities, and he wanted to be with his brother to help him understand things.

  The young man told me things that made me see life in a new way. He told me he wanted to tell his little brother how he was still a viable human being and that he would be one too. Walking and being able to use your brain as well as you used to isn’t as hard as it seems to be. At least he gets to keep on living.

  I sat there and listened to him tell me things I’d never taken the time to listen to from any employee before. And I found myself writing out a policy to allow leave with pay for certain things—family = members facing challenges with their health being one of them.

  And before he left my office, I had him give me his parents’ phone number so I could call them. Without even thinking, I told them I’d be paying for their son’s hospital bills and anything he needed to help him deal with this terrible thing he’d been afflicted with.

  Danny Peterson gave me something that day—he gave me an insight into what kinds of things he and others like him face. I felt as if I’d been given a gift—the gift to understand others and have empathy—I’ve lacked my whole life.

  With pops coming to me in my dreams every night, I’m feeling like I need to make a lot of changes. It’s as if I’m being given the opportunity to start on a new path—one I didn’t realize existed before.

  Looking at the clock on my nightstand, I see it’s six in the morning and make a snap decision to call my brother and sister to see if they’d like to come with me to breakfast. It’s early enough to catch them before their workdays begin.

  Kate answers on the third ring, “What’s up, Blaine?”

  “Me,” I say. “I want to take you and Kent out for breakfast. I’ll have my driver take us and afterward he can drop you both off at your jobs, or you two can come with me to visit this kid in the hospital if you want to take the day off. I’d like to hang out with you both.”

  “I can’t afford to take the day off. But breakfast sounds nice. I’ll get up and get ready.”

  “I’ll pay you for the day you’ll be missing. Come on, go with me to the hospital. I don’t want to go alone,” I cajole her.

  “I’ll call and see if that’ll be okay, then. See you soon.”

  Next, I call Kent.

  “Hey, what are you doing calling me this early?” he answers his phone.

  “I’m up and want to take you and Kate out for breakfast. You think you can take the day off? I’m paying your missed wages if you’ll take it off and come with me to visit this sick kid in the hospital.”

  “I’m in,” he says without hesitation. “Where do you want me to meet you?”

  “I’m getting my driver to take us, so just get ready and make yourself look decent too. I want us to look respectable when we go to the hospital,” I tell him, then end the call.

  With a pretty great day ahead, I get out of bed and feel kind of lighthearted. I usually don’t feel a thing like this when I start my days. My plans usually consist of getting online and making sure I’m getting the cheapest products possible.

  It’s nice to have such a gratuitous plan for my day, and as I go to the bathroom, I think of another thing I should do—take Danny’s little brother some kind of toy or something to make his hospital stay a little more pleasant.<
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  I don’t have a clue what a ten-year-old would like, though. Maybe Kate will know since she works with kids. All I know is, I have a pep in my step that I don’t usually have. It’s oddly amazing and I think I like this feeling.

  Stepping into a warm shower, I have to fight to settle my brain down. So many thoughts are moving around inside my head—thoughts I’ve never had before. I suppose it’s my father’s death that has me thinking about making changes in my life. A pressure is on me to get things moving in a new direction. A good direction.

  As I wash my hair, I think about how my brother and sister are living. They’re making a living doing honest work, and I should be prouder of them for how well they’ve turned out. I never tell them anything like that. I actually say opposite things to them about working so hard to earn a buck.

  I need to let them know that not only am I proud of them, but I’m here to help them do anything they want to do with their lives. Anything at all. I wonder how they’ll react to that.

  My money has often been called the devil dollars by them. They may not want that money helping them to get where they want to be.

  But then again, with my changing attitude, they might start thinking of that money differently. All I know for sure is that I need their help to figure out how to make things right again—how to keep making money, but stop hurting others while I do that.

  I hope they can figure out how to help me.

  Chapter 4

  DELANEY

  “I need you to have that PICC line in before I get there, Nurse Richards,” the doctor in charge of the neonatal unit for the day orders me.

  “I’ll have it done. Don’t worry. I’m about to start a double shift, going to the opposite side of the hospital for the next eight hours to help out over there with the older children. If you need me for anything, then just call me and I’ll come back over here.”

  “Okay, thanks. I appreciate it,” he says, then ends the call.

  I head to the small room where a tiny newborn is having a difficult time staying with us. The poor baby was born with a hole in her heart that’s going to have to be repaired if she’s going to have a chance at surviving.

  To add to her problems, she’s developed an infection and antibiotics will have to be pumped straight into her tiny heart. Her mother and father are with her in the little, dark room, and I find them holding each other as I come inside. “Good morning.”

  They let each other go and turn away from the little incubator that holds their daughter. “Good morning,” her mother says. “What’s the plan? Do you know yet?”

  “I’m going to be putting in a PICC line. It’s not going to be easy to watch. If you two would like to go down and get some breakfast from the cafeteria, now would be a good time. I promise to have her calmed back down as soon as possible,” I tell them as I move about the room, getting together the things I will need.

  “I’m staying,” the young mother says. “If my baby’s in pain, then I need to be too.”

  Her husband wraps one arm around her and stays silent. I look over my shoulder and offer the same words I offer all the parents of the sick children I take care of. “There’s no reason to look at things in that way. Staying strong for her is much better than suffering along with her. That way you can come back in here and let her feel your calmness rather than you being upset after hearing her cries.”

  “She’s right, honey,” her husband says, then takes her out of the room.

  As I look down at the sleeping baby, I feel terribly about her condition. I don’t understand why these things happen to anyone, much less children. I do know this medicine will help her and that gives me the strength to do the hard part—make her cry.

  In the beginning, five years ago, when I become a pediatric nurse, things were so hard for me. Even giving children shots that prevented them from getting horrible diseases was hard for me to do. Day by day, little by little, I came to terms with what I was doing for them.

  A bit of pain one day, opposed to a terrible illness, is worth it. And I have exceptional abilities to calm them back down. The baby moves a little in agitation as I move her around to position her.

  The door opens and in comes the other nurse to hold her still for me. “Hi, Betty. You ready?” I ask as she washes her hands, then comes to us.

  “I suppose so. Let’s get this over with. I totally hate this part of our jobs,” she says.

  I nod in agreement, take in a breath, and hold it as I push the needle into the baby’s chest. Her scream comes out as I do. Then my mind shuts off so I can help her without feeling terribly about it.

  Three hours later, and a couple of coffees, too, I’m on the other side of the hospital, checking on the third-floor patients. With a quick knock on the door, I grab Samuel Peterson’s file hanging next to it, then go inside as I look it over. “Good morning,” I say as I come into the room where a ten-year-old little boy is fighting pneumococcal meningitis.

  A very tired father sits at one side of the child’s bed and another young man sits in a wheelchair on the other side. “Good morning,” he says to me. “I’m Danny. Sammy’s brother. How is he?”

  “His numbers are going down, which is a good thing,” I tell him as I look at his chart. “I’m here to get his vitals, so we can see if he’s still improving. If you don’t mind my asking, Danny, what happened to have you in that chair?”

  “The same thing,” he says, then blows a chunk of blonde hair out of his eyes. “Only thing different is my parents got him to the hospital three days earlier than they realized they needed to take me. We’re all hoping he doesn’t end up like me.”

  With a nod, I start taking Samuel’s temperature and hear the sound of someone clearing their throat. It’s a deep sound with a smooth edge to it. “Can we come in?”

  “Sure,” Danny tells the man. “Hello, Mr. Vanderbilt. It’s a pleasure to see you here today.”

  “I wish things were better,” the man says.

  I turn around to grab the blood pressure cuff and stop as I see one of the most handsome men I believe I have ever seen before. His light-brown eyes land on mine without any words coming out of his mouth.

  There’s a nice-looking younger man behind him and a woman too. I quickly get back to my task at hand and try to stop envisioning the built man without any clothes on. Shame on me!

  “Dad, this is the man who owns the whole company of Bargain Bins, my big boss,” Danny says.

  Oh no! Not that asshole!

  He’s my family’s mortal enemy. I never realized he was so attractive. I’ve only seen a few pictures of him in the paper. But I hate this man. He’s the reason my parents live in public housing and I have to help them just to make ends meet.

  When he opened a Bargain Bin in my hometown of Lockhart, Texas, he drove my parents, who owned a small tire shop, completely out of business. They lost their home, and in just a matter of three years, were on welfare.

  That man is as close to the devil as they come!

  “I brought your brother a video game. I had no idea he would be sleeping,” the devil man says.

  “Yes, he’s sick with meningitis. I do hope you’ve been vaccinated,” I say as I busy myself with taking care of the poor, sick boy.

  “All of our vaccinations are up to date,” the young woman says. “Our father made sure of that. Even after we all grew up, he still kept records and called us after he’d scheduled our appointments to get them done. He died last week.”

  My ire is quickly smashed by her news. I turn back to look at the three of them and notice they all have a resemblance to each other. “I’m sorry to hear that. Your father, you said? All three of yours?” I ask.

  The great-looking man who ruined my family nods, making his dark-blonde hair move around his chiseled face in such a way that it makes my knees weak as he says, “Yes, we’re siblings. I’m Blaine, this is my sister, Kate, and that is our brother, Kent. I know how deep that bond goes. When Danny came into my office yesterday, he made
me realize how important it is to have them around when things get tough.”

  “Yeah,” Danny says. “Mr. Vanderbilt gave me time off with pay to come and be with Sammy. He’s not a bad man like everyone says he is.”

  I stifle a laugh as the evil man’s perfect eyebrows arch. “I have a lot of changes to make. I think I have been kind of a bad man. But thanks to my father passing and you, Danny, I think I’ve seen a light.”

  I doubt that, or perhaps it’s the light from the fires of hell, where the man is sure to go, he’s seeing!

  Chapter 5

  BLAINE

  I can’t stop looking at those green eyes. They’re so dark, it brings to mind emeralds. Her fiery-red hair is pulled back into a sensible ponytail and her deep-green scrubs actually make her look even prettier.

  Moving further into the hospital room, I lean against the counter I’m sure she’s going to have to come to in order to get something for the poor, sick boy sleeping in the bed.

  She’s so beautiful. She has to be married, so I search her quick-moving hands for a wedding ring and find her fingers without a single ring on any of them. Good!

  “So, how long have you been a nurse?” I ask her.

  She looks over her shoulder, but not directly at me. “Five years.” Her words are short and I have the distinct sense she’s judging me.

  The sound of a voice comes over the hospital’s PA system, “Nurse Richards, you’re needed in the neonatal unit.”

  The gorgeous nurse looks up and sighs, parting her naturally ruby red lips as she does. “Okay. Either I’ll be back to finish him up or another nurse will come in to do it.” As she turns away from the kid in the bed, she looks at me for a second, then hurries out of the room.

  I find myself watching her as she goes and wishing she didn’t have to leave so damn fast. Then Kent takes my attention as he snaps his fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Blaine.”

  “Huh?” I ask, then blink and shake my head, then look at Danny and his father. “You two fellas want to come with me to the cafeteria to grab something to eat? My treat.”