Under Her Skin

by Michelle Love

  “Well, nevertheless, I am sorry and I hope you know you can talk to me about anything you need. I know I’ve never been approachable in the past, but I’m changing that. If you have something, you let me know.”

  Patsy comes back to the table with a smile on her face. “Here are your drinks and what can I get you all to eat?”

  “We’ve made it super easy for you. And take note, this is the last order you will ever have to take if you take me up on my offer, Patsy,” I tell her. “We’re all having the chicken-fried steak.”

  “You did make that easy,” she says, then turns to leave.

  “Hurry back,” I say. “I can’t wait to ask you.”

  She nods as she leaves, and I find it hard to believe she’s not excited in the least. Delaney looks at me and says, “I can see you’re not getting her calm demeanor, are you?”

  “Not at all,” I say as I watch her walking slowly to turn the order in. “If I was her, I’d be jumping around with the want to hear what the offer is. She seems somewhat distracted.”

  “She’s having a hard time believing you can offer her anything that will actually help her. Her daughter is dying, Blaine. The only thing you can give her to make her happy or excited is to take the cancer away from her baby girl.”

  “Oh,” I say, as I can’t comprehend what she must feel like. I lost my parents, but to face the loss of a child would be devastating. “I can see I shouldn’t expect much of a reaction. And you know what?”

  She shakes her head as she looks into my eyes. “What?”

  “That’s okay. I’m not doing this to get great reactions out of anyone. I’m doing this to help. That’s all. I don’t need to get a damn thing out of this. I just need to help where I can. Thanks for explaining that to me, Delaney. You really are a Godsend.”

  Her eyes cut away, and I take her hand under the table. When she looks back at me, she has glassy eyes. “I’m not anything like that.”

  Pulling her hand up, I kiss the top of it. “Yes, you are.”

  My attention is taken as Patsy pulls up a chair and sits at the end of the table. “Okay, tell me what you have, Mr. Vanderbilt.”

  I don’t really want to let Delaney’s hand go, but I do as I turn my full attention to this woman who is having to live and work. Meanwhile her daughter might be living her last days or needing her more than she ever has since she was a baby.

  My soul fills with something it has never experienced before. I don’t even know what the hell to call it. Maybe empathy. I don’t know. I just know it kind of hurts.

  “Patsy, I want you to know I have no idea how hard things are for you right now. I do know that I can’t fix anything for you or your daughter. I can, however, give you time to be with her. I can give you the money you need. I can give you a job that will pay you until you can come do it. I’m offering you a job at the headquarters of my company. The position is as a consultant. The salary is six figures and it comes with immediate insurance benefits. I will personally pay the co-pays. You don’t have to worry about a thing. Just be there for your daughter during the time she needs you the most.” I take my wallet, pull out three thousand dollars, and place it on the table in front of her. “This is your first bonus. If you take my offer, you’ll be paid every Friday, starting this coming Friday. Do you need a minute to decide?”

  “A minute?” she asks. “No, I don’t need a minute.” Tears start flowing in rivers down her pale cheeks. Her dirty-blond hair hangs in limp strands around a face I bet was pretty before this fell on her.

  I hand her a napkin, and she wipes her tears, then breaks down completely. Delaney pushes me and whispers, “Give her a hug.”

  Getting up, I pull the poor woman up and hug her. Shushing her, I whisper, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

  She can only nod as she cries, and I rock her back and forth as I hold her quivering body that’s much too thin in my arms. Her reaction is nothing like I thought it’d be. I envisioned happiness, pure joy, some jumping up and down, and maybe a high five. Never this.

  I don’t know what kind of road I’ve stumbled upon, but it’s certainly a lot more emotional than I ever thought it’d be.

  Chapter 6

  DELANEY

  The day hasn’t gone the way I expected it would once I found out I had to spend it with Blaine Vanderbilt. Watching him hand out the gifts he’d brought to the four kids he met today is more than heartwarming.

  The best part about it is watching Blaine, as something inside of him seems to be growing with each interaction. He seems to be gaining an understanding of the human spirit. It’s kind of like watching a baby start walking and seeing how amazed and scared they find themselves.

  “I’ll let you practice today, but come tomorrow, I’m bringing my A-game, Terry,” Blaine tells him, then gets out of the chair and hands him one more pumpkin lollipop. He turns back just before we walk out. “Hey, bro, do you want me to bring you anything when I come back in the morning?”

  “No way,” the teenage boy says. “Dude, you’ve given me enough. But I tell you what. There’s this guy a little older than I am. He’s major bummed about losing his golden locks. Go visit him tomorrow, will you? His name’s Colby.”

  “Will do,” Blaine says. “And let me tell you that I think you’re one great guy. I think you’ll go far in this life.”

  “If I live,” he says.

  Blaine looks back at me, and I can see he’s upset with what the kid said. I shake my head and hold out my hand for him to come with me. “Time to go see Tammy.”

  He nods. “Bye, Terry. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Once we’re out the door, Blaine falls back on the wall. “Shit! This is hard!”

  I still have his hand and find him tugging me to him. “Come on, Blaine. Around here, we suck things up. If you want to fall apart, you do that away from here. While we’re here, we are nothing but a tower of strength.”

  He pulls himself together and stands up straight. “You’re right. Okay, let’s go visit Tammy now. I hope she likes the wig you picked out. Is her mom here yet?”

  “I doubt it. You sent her to the salon to get all gorgeous. But she should be here soon, I’d think.” She gives the door a quick two-tap knock. “Tammy, can I come in? I have a male visitor with me.”

  “Wait!” she shouts.

  We wait, and then Delaney holds her hand up. “Wait here.”

  As I wait while she goes inside, I lean on the wall again and try to steady myself. I thought this would be like a walk in the park—an easy thing to do. Come to the hospital …give some gifts. Then I’d simply stand back and watch the kids smile about it. The huge waves of emotion are like a shot out of the dark.

  The door opens and Delaney looks around, then over at me. “Again?” She holds out her hand. “Come on.”

  I take her hand and pull her out into the hallway. “Can you do me a favor and give me a purely platonic hug?”

  Her eyes go soft and she pulls me into her arms. “I know how rough it is. But I can see things are working inside of you, Blaine. Don’t let this give you a big head or anything, but I’m growing proud of you.”

  The way she’s holding me tells me she’s great at making people feel better. “You have a gift, Delaney. You really know how to help people.”

  She lets me go and gives me a smile. “Hmm. Now, maybe that’s why I was sent in the direction to become a nurse. Maybe there was a bit of divine intervention that directed me to this place.”

  “Maybe so.” The click-clack of high heels draws my attention, and I look down the hallway to see a tall, very pretty lady coming down it.

  “Would you look at her?” Delaney says, then lets out a wolf-whistle.

  “Is that Patsy?” I ask as I take a harder look.

  “It is,” Patsy says as she gets to us. “Thank you for the much-needed pampering, Mr. Vanderbilt. And the job. I feel better than I have in a long time.”

  “You are welcome,” I say. “And may I say you clean up very nicely?
”

  “You may,” she says with a bright smile. “And, now, to be with my daughter and try to rub some of this new, hope-filled attitude off on her.”

  “I’d say you have enough for that,” I say, then we follow her into the dimly lit room.

  “Mom?” the little girl in the bed asks.

  Her eyes have deep, dark half-circles under them. She has a blue scarf around her head to cover her hairless, little head. I want to cry, but I know I can’t do that. So I look at Delaney and reach out for her hand.

  She looks at me with understanding and takes my hand as we stop and let the two of them have a moment.

  Patsy runs her hand with a nice, pink manicure over her daughter’s cheek. “Hey you. I have the best news ever. I’m going to be able to stay here with you for as long as you want me to.”

  “How’s that?” the little girl asks. “You have to work. You didn’t get fired, did you?”

  Patsy laughs and looks back at me. “No, I quit my job at the restaurant. I’m now a consultant for the Bargain Bin chain of stores.”

  “What?” the little girl asks.

  “Tell her, Mr. Vanderbilt,” Patsy says.

  “I gave your mother a job so she doesn’t have to worry about bills. She doesn’t have to come to work until you’re better. She’s all yours, Tammy.”

  Tammy’s light-blue eyes go to Delaney. “Did you have a hand in this, Nurse Richards?”

  “Maybe,” she answers. “You see, when you tell someone what you really want, sometimes it happens. You should do that more often.”

  Tammy’s eyes fill up with tears and my stomach knots as she says, “Then I better get this said. I want to get better. I want to feel healthy again. I want to go home. And I want my hair back!”

  Delaney laughs, pulls the wig she had stashed in her large pocket out, and holds up the long, blond hair. “Well, it’s not yours, but will this do for now?”

  She can only nod as she starts crying. All I can do is stand back and try my best to hold onto myself. I can’t run out of here, bawling like a baby. But I also can’t trust myself to say a damn word as emotion is filling me up.

  Another nurse wheels a roll-away bed into the room, and I step out of her way. “Here we go. Seems mom’s coming in full time, I’ve been told. Nurse Richards, you’re officially relieved of your duty for the day. I’ll see you back here in the a.m. I have them under my watchful eye for the night.”

  “See you guys in the morning. Have a good night, Tammy and Patsy.”

  “We will now,” Patsy says. “And thank you again, Mr. Vanderbilt.”

  I nod and open the door, letting Delaney walk out in front of me. Instead of hurrying away, like I half-expected her to, she lingers in the hallway for me. “Are you okay, Blaine?”

  Shaking my head, I look down as I walk toward the elevator. I still can’t manage to talk with the knot that’s formed in my throat. This is terrible!

  “Want to go out for a drink?” she asks, shocking me.

  Chapter 7

  DELANEY

  With a nod, Blaine takes my hand, and we make our way to the nurses’ station, where I pick up my purse, and then go to the elevator. I can see he’s upset and trying hard to hold on.

  Stepping into the elevator, I wait for the doors to close before I say, “I cried every day when we had clinicals in the nursing home. For three weeks, I left that place and cried for just about an hour the first few days, then it slowly dwindled down to nothing. Not that my heart got hard or anything like that. I just began to gain an understanding of life.”

  His Adam’s apple bulges as he swallows, and the elevator doors open as we reached the lobby. “Ride with me. I’ll pick you up in the morning, too. You can leave your car here.”

  “I can have a couple of drinks. It won’t affect me for driving,” I tell him, then stop as he makes an abrupt stop.

  “No. I have a driver. If you want to get a drink with me, you have to do it this way.”

  I find myself a little taken aback. Honestly, I thought he’d jump through hoops to have a drink with me. So I test the waters a bit. “No, I want to drive, or I’m not going.”

  “Suit yourself.” He lets my hand go and walks away. “I’ll be in my car if you change your mind in the next two minutes.”

  I’m stunned and a little shocked. Then I’m really shocked to find my feet taking me as fast as they can up behind the man. “Wait!”

  He stops, but doesn’t turn around. “Yes?”

  “What’s the big deal?” I ask as I get in front of him.

  “The big deal is that I don’t let my friends drink and drive. After what we shared today, I consider you a friend.”

  “You do?” I ask and start walking backward as he begins to move forward.

  “Yes. So, are we on for drinks or not?” he asks, and I find myself in the wrong position.

  I thought I was calling the shots here!

  His driver pulls up and jumps out, opening the door as I stand there looking at Blaine and not completely understanding where I stand with him. I thought he wanted me and would do anything to have me. I might have been very wrong.

  He gestures to the back seat, and I find myself getting into his car. Without a word, I move over, put my seatbelt on, and find him sliding in. “Thank you,” he says as he puts his seatbelt on too. “I really could use your company after this trying day. I can’t think of a better person to wind down with after all I’ve seen and heard today.”

  “Glad to be of help to you,” I say.

  He’s holding himself in a tense posture and his eyes look tired. I recall that look. We all had it when we started the training to become nurses. My first stint in the terminal ward nearly killed me.

  “It gets easier. I know it’s hard to believe, but it does. You aren’t thinking of bailing out now, are you?” I ask him as he looks vacantly out the window at the streetlights that flash as we go underneath them.

  “I will not be bailing. I made a commitment and I intend to keep it. I always fulfill my commitments. I think I need to learn how to reign in these emotions. I can do it in business. I just have to figure out how to do it with poor, little, sick kids too.”

  “I think it’s important to feel things. And, with time, it gets easier. You still feel empathy, but you gain an understanding and can control the crying, or in your case the complete sadness. I know men don’t cry,” I say and giggle.

  “Men cry,” he says. “I should probably just break down and do that, huh?”

  My heart stops as he admits this to me. I’ve never known a man who would let me see that deeply into them. I’m not sure if I can handle it. It might be too much to take.

  I watch as he takes off his seatbelt, then gets off the seat and onto his knees in front of me. His hands move up the sides of my thighs as he looks up at me. I run my hands through his dark-blond waves and look back into his eyes.

  “Or I could kiss you,” I say without thinking.

  “That might help too,” he says, then moves up until our lips are so close I can feel the warmth of his breath on mine.

  He waits with them that close, then I realize I said I could kiss him. He’s waiting for me to come to him!

  I can’t believe I am going to do this!

  My hands come around to cup his face in them without me thinking about what I’m doing, and I pull him the rest of the very short distance to press my lips to his. His lips are soft and supple, and I want to feel more.

  I feel his hands moving back and forth along my outer thighs, stirring heat inside of me. I’ve gone this far. I might as well go a little further.

  My tongue moves over his lower lip, and he parts them. Slowly, I move mine past his lips and find his. His hands move up my sides until he’s gripping my waist as his mouth goes soft and yielding to mine.

  I cannot believe I initiated this. But, damn, I’m glad I did!

  When he pulls back, slowly ending the kiss, I find myself breathing a bit on the hard side. “Thank you,” he
whispers with a throaty voice.

  “Thank you,” I say as my head is so light it feels as if I’m drunk. Who needs alcohol when one kiss from the man on his knees in front of you can intoxicate you. And there’s no fear of a hangover!

  “Did that help?” I ask, running my hand under his chin as he gazes at me.

  He nods. “Wanna help me some more?”

  I nod and find his mouth back on mine. Now he’s taking control of the kiss, unbuckling my seatbelt, and pulling me to him. We end up on the floor, me on top of him. His manhood is swelling under my crotch, making me go wet for him.

  This is by far the fastest any man has ever made me this horny and hot!

  Rolling over, he pins me underneath him and pulls his mouth away only a little as he says, “How about drinks at my place, then we can take a quick dip in the indoor swimming pool? My cook can make us something great for dinner.”

  “That’s probably a bad idea,” I say with a hoarseness to my voice I don’t ever recall having before.

  “Why is it a bad idea?” he says, then kisses my neck as he grinds into me.

  “I think we both know why it’s a bad idea.”

  “I won’t do anything you don’t want to, Delaney,” he says, then my earlobe is between his teeth, sending a shot of pure ecstasy through me.

  The only problem with that is that I think it would be damn hard to say no to this man. I can’t be that girl—that slutty chick who has sex right off the bat with a man. I barely know him!

  And he is my family’s mortal enemy. What am I doing?

  Chapter 8

  BLAINE

  I knew it was a long shot that she’d accept my offer to take her to my place, but I had to ask. So I get off her and pull her up with me to take our seats. “Sorry. I had to ask.” I buckle her in as she looks a little discombobulated.

  Her ponytail has gotten messed up, so I pull the rubber band all the way out and use my hands to fan out her hair and fix it a little. It looks great, just like I knew it would.

  She blinks a few times in rapid succession. “Sorry, that’s not like me.”