Wishing for a Cowboy

by James, Victoria

  Janie winced, wishing she had the right answer. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. One day at a time. It’s spring break, even though it doesn’t exactly feel like spring, which means we’ve got some time. For now, let’s get a good night’s sleep. Everything always looks better in the morning.”

  “Okay,” Will said. “He seems pretty cool, I guess. And this seems like a nice house, too. I like this room. What do you think?”

  Janie swallowed against the lump in her throat. This room—this whole house—was nicer than their apartment in Chicago. Even the double bed would feel like a luxury because Will had always had a single bed. “I agree, it’s nice here, and I think you’ve got a great attitude. I should probably go out there now and make sure Morris is set. This is going to be okay, Will. I have a good feeling about all of this.”

  He turned his blue gaze to hers, the vulnerability in his eyes obvious. “I hope you’re right.”

  “We’ll take it day by day. You’ll be okay in here? Come and get me if you need anything tonight. Even if it’s just to talk. You know I always have your back, honey.”

  He nodded. “I know. Me, too. If you need me, come and get me.”

  She had no idea what she was doing, but he’d always given her his trust, and she hoped she wasn’t about to let him down. “I’ll be okay. I love you,” she said, giving him a quick hug.

  “Love you, too.”

  Janie left the door open just a crack so Morris could get in later, then took a deep breath before heading back to the entrance of the small ranch house. She quickly set out some food and the litter box in the laundry room like Aiden had suggested. Even his laundry room was spotless. Jeans and T-shirts had been perfectly folded and tucked neatly into a white basket.

  She took in more of the house as she made her way to the kitchen, desperate to learn as much as she could about Aiden. Everything was clean and tidy, with dark, masculine furniture. It was devoid of knickknacks or any kind of photos or personal touches. The walls were all neutral, and the hardwood floors were smooth and wide-planked.

  A sudden wave of nerves gripped her as she approached the kitchen. She hadn’t thought this far ahead. Will was in bed, and it would be just her and Aiden alone again. When they’d been seated together in his office, it had made her nervous. He made her nervous. There was an intensity about him that she hadn’t been prepared for.

  He seemed so different than someone Maxi would be interested in. Janie couldn’t even imagine this man saying he’d want nothing to do with his son. She couldn’t imagine him telling a pregnant woman to leave and never come back. He’d been so hospitable to them, giving Will food, opening his home to them. But Maxi wouldn’t have lied about this. Would she? This was huge, even for her.

  But then, what did she really know about him? She was making assumptions. She needed to be rational and not just hope he was this great guy for Will’s sake. That would only lead to devastation if it was all an act.

  She stopped in the doorway of the kitchen, absorbing the surroundings of the small room with its dark cabinets and small table and four chairs centered in a bay window. The counters were almost completely empty, except for a toaster and coffeemaker. Aiden was standing with his back to her, his hands splayed out on the counter, looking out the large picture window. He couldn’t really be looking at anything, though. It was pitch black outside. So unlike the city she was used to.

  Janie cleared her throat, and he turned around. She ignored the ripple of nerves as he made eye contact with her. The other problem with Aiden was that he was a little too good-looking to be fully comfortable around—for her, at least. She couldn’t quite catch her breath when he was near. Maxi had always said he’d been a player; that he’d always used his looks to get him what he wanted. Her mother would have said Aiden was the type of man Maxi could attract, but not Janie.

  “Will and Morris all settled?” he asked.

  “Yeah, thanks so much. I’m sure they’ll both be asleep soon.”

  He ran a hand through his thick hair. “You must be tired, too. I don’t have another room with a bed except mine. I can give you my bed, and I’ll take the couch.”

  His bed?

  Don’t look embarrassed. Look calm and collected.

  The idea of sleeping in his bed shouldn’t be embarrassing. But it was. And he didn’t look the least bit flustered around her. He was all hard lines and muscle and zero fluster. She had all the fluster and zero chill. She shook her head. “No, of course not. I’m fine on the couch,” she said, folding her arms across her chest and leaning against the doorjamb, trying to look casual.

  He ran a hand over his jaw. “I don’t feel right about that.”

  “The couch is fine. Really.” She waved a hand.

  “Okay.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck. “Can I get you a drink? Are you up for talking? I was thinking, since Will is asleep, maybe this would be the best time.”

  He was right. It was the best time, despite the fact she was so wiped. “That makes sense. I’ll have whatever you’re having,” she said.

  “Beer.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “Good,” he said, then paused again. All this hospitality seemed awkward for him. Again, not what she’d expect from someone who had women coming over all the time. “Are you hungry?”

  She shook her head. She was starving, actually, but she didn’t want him making her food. She was used to making and buying her own food. She hadn’t relied on or trusted anyone in over a decade, and it was hard to do it now. To give up that kind of control. It was bad enough they were in his house. But they were saving a ton of money she didn’t have by staying here. She wasn’t about to ask for food on top of that. “No, thanks.”

  “Okay. I’ll get us some drinks and meet you in the other room. Make yourself comfortable.”

  Janie nodded and left the kitchen, relieved to catch her breath. As she looked around the small living room, nerves, exhaustion, and hunger set in. She pressed her hand to her stomach as it growled loudly. She sank into one of the deep seats of the leather sofa and fought the urge to just lie down and close her eyes. The river-rock fireplace with a rustic mahogany mantle was a beautiful focal point in the room, and the chimney soared to the peaked ceiling.

  She shifted farther into the deep cushions, trying to quell her nerves at the idea of hashing everything out with a virtual stranger. She didn’t know anything about Aiden except that he appeared to be the opposite of what her sister had told her. She didn’t even know anything about his relationship with Maxi. But she knew her sister.

  Maxi had lived her life getting whatever she wanted. When she had undergone heart surgery as a child, their mother had never gotten over the trauma of almost losing Maxi. From that point on, Maxi had been treated like a delicate flower. And Janie went along with it, because she had been worried about her sister, too. But Maxi’s prognosis was excellent; there was no reason she couldn’t live a long and full life.

  Their mother, though well-meaning, had doted on Maxi after that, but to such a degree that it almost became obsessive. Any extra money from her job went to entering Maxi in beauty pageants, because she was so beautiful and wanted to be a model. Maxi looked like the perfect blonde Barbie. Their mother had repeatedly said it was good that Janie got such good grades in school, because she wasn’t beautiful like Maxi; she’d have to get a good job, since she wouldn’t find a man to support her.

  Because of how their mother treated Maxi, she became more selfish and started demanding that Janie treat her the same way. Whenever Janie voiced her objection, she was met with the same old argument—Maxi almost died, and the least Janie could do was help her. So, Janie had. She had wanted to please them both and earn their affection.

  When their mother died, it was Janie who held it together, and Maxi had taken off….and it was during that time that Maxi ended up in Wishing River.

 
; Janie wasn’t surprised that Maxi had been with Aiden. He was about as attractive as a man could be. They were at that level together; Janie wasn’t. But that was fine with her. She had bigger things to think about than how she looked, like going to school, starting a career. She’d never been a girly girl. Manicures and makeup had just never appealed to her.

  She pushed those thoughts aside as she heard Aiden approaching. He walked into the room, carrying two beers and two bottles of water tucked under one arm and a plate of food in the other. “I, uh, fixed you a plate of food to go with the beer. I know you said no to be polite, but you’ve got to be starving. Will finished every last piece of food I gave him at the bar.”

  She was taken by the gesture as she accepted the plate filled with marble cheddar cut into triangles, sliced apples, crackers, and nuts. No one in her adult life had given her a plate of anything. “This is really nice of you. Thank you,” she said, accepting the beer as well. She couldn’t let her guard down, but these were not the actions of the deadbeat Maxi had described.

  He shrugged, sitting on the couch opposite her. “It’s not a big deal.”

  She took a sip of beer, grateful for something to take the edge off, and assembled her cheese on the crackers, concentrating on that and not how Aiden looked, his longs legs stretched out in front of him. He’d taken off his button-down shirt, and the black T-shirt he was wearing hugged his broad shoulders, emphasizing the muscles that seemed to ripple with every motion. “This is great,” she said, trying not to sound self-conscious.

  “From the local cheese shop in town. Glad you like it.” He paused, letting out a long breath. “I’ll get right down to the important stuff—I want a paternity test ASAP.”

  She nodded, putting down a cracker, her appetite suddenly vanishing. “Of course. Before we came here, I prepared for different scenarios. In all honesty, this one, where you claim you didn’t know about Will? This one was a less than one percent chance in my mind. But I looked it up anyway. You can order a test online and have it rushed here.”

  His jaw ticked. “I know you’re just going by what Maxi told you, but I would never have walked away from my own kid. And yeah, I was young and stupid, but I would have found a way to take care of him.”

  It was impossible to take a deep breath, the weight in her chest heavy as she stared at him, as she absorbed the tortured sound of his voice. She forced herself to hold his gaze. “I want to believe you, but that means Maxi has been lying to me and Will for fifteen years. It means she’s deprived her son of a father knowingly. It means that you were robbed of your right to be a father. I can’t…” She shook her head. “I don’t want to imagine my own sister is capable of that.”

  His eyes glittered with an emotion that was so raw she had to look away. Her gut told her this was not a man who didn’t want his child—that the tears in his eyes were not fake.

  “Why are you looking after your sister’s kid? Did something happen to her?”

  “Yes, but not in the way you’re probably thinking.” She took a long drink of beer, telling herself to calm down with the sudden wave of nerves at his question. If Will was proven to be Aiden’s, she was going to have to open the entire vault of her life and answer everything. “Maxi was having issues with stress and anxiety, so I was helping her out. It sort of evolved from there, until one day she asked if I could continue doing it all. She really struggled with taking care of Will…”

  Aiden leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “So, you just took over? You’re so much younger than her.”

  “Not that much. Six years.”

  He held her gaze. “Maxi was twenty when we were together.”

  She concentrated again on perfectly centering a piece of cheese on a cracker, needing something to do, feeling exposed.. “I was eighteen when I took him full-time.”

  His face paled. “How the hell did you manage that?”

  Her throat tightened, and she placed the plate of cheese down, then picked up the beer. “I never thought of Will as a burden. Maxi and I lived together after our mom died. And Mike was there off and on. Will was more like a little brother to me that first year. He was adorable. An easy baby. He had a smile that would light up a room. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a real family. The thought of not seeing Will every day was…I don’t know…heartbreaking. So I needed him just as much as he needed me. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I was doing okay for a long time, managing work and school, but this year…bills sort of got the better of me.”

  He shook his head and looked away. It was deeply personal suddenly, like she had affected him. The room was silent—they were silent—but the life that connected them was louder than any words.

  “He’s lucky to have you,” Aiden said. “I can see how much you love him. I can’t believe you juggled school, too,” he said, his voice thick. “What’s your degree in?”

  She drained the last of her beer, uncomfortable with the attention he was giving her. This conversation was supposed to be about Will, not her. “I have my undergrad in animal sciences, and I’m almost finished with my doctorate of veterinary medicine.”

  “A veterinarian?” His face softened. “That’s impressive. It couldn’t have been easy to juggle when raising a kid on your own.”

  “No, none of this has been easy. But I’d do anything for that boy.” Too late, Janie realized he’d been giving her a compliment and she’d reacted defensively. She was so on edge.

  “You’re still in contact with your sister?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back on the sofa, not wanting to depict Maxi in a bad light but also not wanting to lie. “Yes, but not daily. She’s in California. Will talks to her about once a month, and there’s the occasional text. She knows what’s happening in his life, generally speaking.” She picked at some imaginary lint on her jeans. “Aiden, I do want to believe you didn’t know about Will. Even if it means having to deal with knowing Maxi lied all these years. To all three of us,” she added quietly.

  The softness in his eyes faded, a more sinister look filling their blue depths. “Don’t get me wrong, Janie. Part of me is mad as hell. I missed out on fifteen years of my kid’s life. That boy thinks I never wanted him. That I was some deadbeat who wouldn’t even give child support. That’s not something I’m just going to get over. And I might have never planned to be a dad, but I’m not the kind of man who runs from my responsibilities. I…also owe him more than just viewing him as a responsibility. I would hope to build a real relationship with him. If that’s possible. If he’s open to that.”

  A chill ran through her at the hardness in his voice. There was an edge to him now, a stiffness in his broad shoulders as he stood abruptly and walked over to the window. His back was to her, and Janie wondered if they’d made a mistake—if she had made a mistake by coming here. Her gaze was drawn to the long, thin scar that ran from his temple down his jaw. Right now, with the tension resonating through him, it made her wonder just how he got that scar.

  “That’s understandable,” she said after a long pause.

  He shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, keeping his profile to her. “I won’t give him up. If he’s mine, and his mother clearly doesn’t give a damn one way or the other, he stays in Wishing River.”

  She swallowed down the acid burning its way up into her throat. This…wasn’t going well at all. His blue gaze bore into hers, as though he was looking for something from her. But the only thing she had that she could give him was Will. If Aiden was Will’s dad, where did that leave her? She was his aunt. That was it. Despite raising him like her own…he wasn’t. Aiden might want her out of his life forever. He might fight for full custody.

  She stood, trying to assert herself. “I can understand where you’re coming from, but Will is my whole world. I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to give him everything I could and m
ake up for what I couldn’t—namely, two parents who loved him. I did my best, but I know it wasn’t an ideal life.”

  “Now I’ve brought him here to meet you, and you have no idea how hard that is for me, because I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know who you really are—what kind of a man you really are. But I swear, Aiden Rivers, if you are not the man you claim to be, you will regret ever lying to me.”

  Chapter Four

  You ruin everything, Aiden.

  He stared at the ceiling, wide awake even though it was four in the morning, his dad’s voice echoing in his head. Hell. He would have to agree with his dad’s famous line. He had ruined his kid’s life, and Janie’s, too.

  Janie was a force to be reckoned with, and though he’d thrown her for a loop when he told her he honestly had no idea that Maxi had been pregnant, she hadn’t dismissed his claim. He could tell a part of her might believe him. He respected that. It showed how much she loved Will.

  He scrubbed his hands over his face and decided to get up. There was no way he was falling asleep, and in two hours it’d be time to get up, anyway. He quickly pulled a pair of jeans on and opened the door, then walked as quietly as he could, not wanting to wake Janie, who was sleeping on the couch. Pausing as the floor creaked in the hallway outside the family room, he could have sworn he saw a dim light turn off.

  Was Janie awake? He stood still and listened, but, after not hearing anything, decided it must have been the moonlight casting shadows. Aiden walked into the kitchen, feeling like he had a massive hangover. Just yesterday, he’d woken up in this empty house, thinking his day would be like any other. Now…now his life was heading in an entirely different direction.

  His plan was to keep working, stay alone, and build his ranch. No complications. Him being an absentee dad for all these years was a giant complication. But he would be a dad to that kid, even if it meant taking time away from work to get him settled. If it meant he needed to figure out how to be a dad and make up for all the time he’d lost. How to make his son trust him. He didn’t even know if that was possible this late in the game.