Wishing for a Cowboy

by James, Victoria

  “Well,” Janie said, “we’ll get back to the house. It’s pretty cold out here. It was nice meeting you, Logan.”

  “You, too, and you as well, Will. Hope I’ll be hearing from you, Janie.” Logan’s grin was a little too flashy for Aiden’s liking. Hope I’ll be hearing from you should have been followed by about the job and not so open-ended.

  Will gave a small wave, and the two of them walked out. Aiden’s shoulders relaxed as they left the barn. And then tensed again when Logan turned to him with a glint in his eyes. “First off, that’s definitely your kid,” Logan said. “That sort of disgruntled eyebrow furrowing thing? And that one-sided dimple that women love for some reason that’s always escaped me, because it’s essentially a defect in your face. Come on. That’s you. Second, you never told me Maxi had a sister like that…let alone who was going to be a vet and is probably the most gorgeous woman I’ve met in a long time.”

  Aiden walked over to the horse feeders, disappointed they were full. He needed to do something with his hands. He pulled his hat lower so Logan couldn’t comment on his “brow furrowing,” which he realized he was actually doing. Why was he getting bothered about Logan’s comment? It was a normal response. He felt the same way.

  “Hello? Did you hear me?” Logan asked, walking over to him.

  Aiden lifted his head and forced his eyebrows into their normal state. “Sorry, I have a lot on my mind—like the fact that I might have a teenage kid. I’m not really thinking about how hot his aunt is.”

  Logan smirked. “Oh, so you did notice.”

  “I have eyes. It’s a fact, not a statement confirming interest.”

  Logan leaned against the stall door, and Aiden half wished Maple would give him a strong shove. “You don’t need a paternity test to know he’s yours, man. The question is, what are you going to do about it?”

  Aiden stared out the open barn door, his eyes going to Janie and Will, who had almost reached the back door to his house. They could possibly be the most important people in the world to him. Will could be the only living relative he had. But more than all that, they were people he owed. People he had to do right by.

  He finished off his coffee before looking at Logan to answer his question. “I’m going to figure out how to make up for fifteen years of being nonexistent.”

  …

  Janie brewed a cup of coffee and stared out the kitchen window. She hadn’t managed to shake off the chill of the damp March air and was hoping the hot drink would warm her up. Wind was blowing snow around in thin, swirling patterns. There was something so ominous about the wide-open land, the pristine snow that went on forever until it met the mountains. Yet at the same time there was peacefulness to it. Of being inside, warm and toasty and safe.

  Aiden hadn’t come back inside yet. He’d looked completely at home out there in the barn with the horses. And everything Logan had told them about the rescues made her trust Aiden a little more. Her sister never would have done anything selfless like that.

  Will was busy watching TV, so Janie would go over some banking to see exactly what she had left, then look up Logan’s veterinary practice online. That was a lucky break she hadn’t anticipated. Any bit of hands-on experience would help. Any bit of extra money would help, too.

  Janie poured her coffee into a forest-green pottery mug and sat down at the small kitchen table. Her gaze wandered the room, her mind drifting to Aiden. There were so few personal touches in his house that it was hard to get a glimpse of the man’s personality. He was nice, though. And after their awkward conversation in the dark the other night, when she’d spilled coffee all over herself, she’d felt slightly more at ease with him.

  Even if she’d made a fool of herself. Even if she’d seen him without a shirt on and had been completely overwhelmed by…him. She hadn’t been able to get the image out of her head—the way his muscles had rippled when he moved, or his tight abs, or the way his low-slung jeans fit him perfectly. She needed to burn that image from her mind now. Feelings like that weren’t going to help her with the budget.

  She took a sip of coffee and picked up her phone, typing in Logan’s clinic name, and then quickly read through the information pages. The size of the clinic alone was impressive. They helped large and small animals, which was great, because the places she’d volunteered in the city had mainly domestic animals and not farm animals. This would be an excellent learning opportunity to further her veterinary experience.

  The side door opened, pulling her attention, and a moment later Aiden walked into the kitchen. “Hey,” he said, removing his hat. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair before placing the hat onto one of the kitchen chairs. Aiden looked like a man who worked hard, from the athletic lines of his body to the long hours he kept; he wasn’t a man who was partying day and night. He was strong and hard and very much at home out here on this ranch. The scents of the outdoors followed him in, and the whole atmosphere of the room shifted. Or maybe that was just her reaction to him.

  “There’s extra coffee if you’d like some,” she said.

  Aiden leaned against the counter, folding his arms across his broad chest. “Thanks, but I just finished one.”

  “I had to make a cup. I just couldn’t get that chill out,” she said, suddenly self-conscious because this was his kitchen. He should be offering her coffee, not the other way around. “Sorry, I should have asked first if that was okay.”

  His hard features softened slightly. “It’s a cold start to spring this year, that’s for sure. I’m glad you helped yourself. I’d like for you and Will to feel at home here.”

  She averted her gaze as warmth that had nothing to do with hot coffee swept over her. “I just checked out Logan’s website, and I think I’m going to give the job a try. That would be an invaluable experience. It won’t be long-term, I know, but every little bit adds up.”

  Aiden’s jaw clenched, though he nodded. Maybe he was just tired. “Definitely,” he said. “And it’s better than a job at a bar.”

  “What? No, I’d like to do both. If…if Will turns out to be yours and we stay an extra week or two, I’ll have enough time to work both jobs.”

  “That’s a lot to take on. Especially if you don’t have to.” He paused for a breath. “You’re thinking about staying a little longer?”

  He wouldn’t understand because he didn’t know just how broke she was and it was embarrassing to talk about. Being this far in debt made her feel irresponsible. Her identity had always been dependable, reliable, smart Janie. Her current financial status wasn’t backing that up. And if Aiden really was Will’s father, he would be evaluating what kind of guardian she was. Admitting she was practically penniless would make her vulnerable.

  She crossed one leg over the other and wrapped her hands around the mug, trying to appear calm and collected rather than desperate. “I have to talk to Will about it first, and obviously we’d only stay longer if he is yours. We’ll be out of here in no time if he’s not. Speaking of, have you, um, checked your email lately?”

  “No.” He pushed away from the counter with a start. “I’ve been checking like every five minutes, usually, but, uh, we got to talking, and I forgot.”

  “That’s okay.” She smiled, but it felt tight. “It’s supposed to be sometime today, though, right?”

  He nodded, pulling out his phone, then swiping across the screen. “Tomorrow at the latest.”

  Janie held her breath, the stillness in her body mirroring the stillness in the room and on Aiden’s features. His face was unreadable. He didn’t move.

  When she was just about to jump out of her chair because she couldn’t take it anymore, he looked up at her. The hard lines on his face, the stiffness in his body were a complete contrast to the softness, the tears in his eyes as he whispered hoarsely, “He’s mine.”

  Janie nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.

 
And then something changed. The softness in his eyes was replaced by something harder. Bitterness emanated from him, shrinking the kitchen, and when he spoke again his voice was low and rumbling as a growl. “He’s mine, and he’s been kept from me for fifteen years. I will never be able to forgive Maxi for this. Never.”

  Chapter Six

  “Is there any lunch I can have?” Will asked, appearing in the doorway to the kitchen.

  Aiden tore his gaze from Janie’s to look at the young man. His son. Aiden’s hands were sweaty, and the emotions ripping through him were changing so rapidly he didn’t know what the hell to do or say. He couldn’t be calm and rational, because right now, all he could feel was rage at having been robbed of fatherhood for fifteen years. And he was angry that Will was an innocent victim of his father’s bad choices and his mother’s lies.

  Somehow, with a self-control he didn’t even know he had, he nodded and said, “Of course. I can make soup and sandwiches.”

  Will’s brow furrowed, his gaze shifting from Aiden to Janie. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he said quickly and took a step toward Will. His son. He had to tell him. “I…uh, just checked the paternity results, and…it’s true. You’re my kid. I’m your dad.”

  Will’s face drained of color, and he looked to Janie, who gave him a wobbly smile. Aiden caught the tremble in her hand as she reached out to hug Will.

  Should he do the same?

  Will pulled back from Janie and stared at him, and Aiden wondered if this would be that moment—that tearful, joyful Hallmark moment where they were reunited—or if it would be the moment where his kid told him to go to hell. “Okay,” Will said stiffly. “That’s…cool.” He turned and walked out of the room.

  Aiden swore under his breath. “I guess that didn’t go over well.”

  “I’ll talk to him,” Janie said, wiping her eyes as she stood.

  He shook his head. “If you don’t mind, I think I should be the one for this.”

  She swallowed hard, brows furrowing, but then nodded. Aiden left the kitchen, certain that reaching out now was the right thing to do, whether Will wanted him to or not. And as much as it affected him to see such a strong, brave woman show her vulnerability in front of him, that was his kid. And he needed to show Will he was ready to be his father.

  His stomach churned as he knocked on the bedroom door and waited. He forced himself to push aside his empathy for Janie, just for the moment, and concentrate on the boy staying in his house.

  “Come in,” Will said, and Aiden opened the door, not knowing what to expect, not even knowing what the hell to say.

  He took as deep a breath as he could, considering it felt like he had lead in his lungs, and entered the room to find Will sprawled out on the bed, his fingers linked under his head, staring up at the ceiling.

  “Hey, you mind if I sit with you a minute?” Aiden asked, pulling up the chair that had been tucked into the corner.

  “Go ahead. It’s your house.” Will kept his eyes on the ceiling, the bite in his voice the first bit of attitude Aiden had heard since he’d come here. Not unexpected, though, and completely understandable.

  He let out a deep breath and leaned forward in the chair, resting his forearms on his thighs, trying to come up with something to say that would actually be what this kid needed to hear. “I’m sorry if that came as a shock. I realize I kind of just blurted that out.”

  “It’s not really a surprise, I guess. You do look like an older version of me. Even this one-sided dimple we have.”

  “Yeah, that’s true.” Aiden almost laughed. But there was nothing funny about this. “I know we have a lot to sort out between the three of us. And this is all a huge shock to me…I’m sure for you, too…but I also wanted to let you know that I’m happy. Really happy. I never thought I’d have kids, let alone an amazing kid like you. And I’m here for you. Whatever you want or need me to do to make things okay between us, I’ll do. I’ve missed so damn much of your life,” he said, appalled when his voice broke.

  He must have startled Will, too, because he finally took his eyes off the ceiling to look at Aiden.

  “This is weird,” Will said. “Like, I don’t even know what to say. If I believe you didn’t know, then that means my mom’s been lying to me and Aunt Janie for my whole life.”

  The pain in Will’s voice tore at Aiden. “You don’t have to say anything. You can just think about things or stuff you might want to say to me later, or to Janie, but don’t worry about what you think you should say. I just wanted to come in here to tell you that I’m glad you’re my kid and I’m sorry this is all so screwed up.”

  When Will didn’t say anything more, his eyes still glued to the ceiling, Aiden stood. Obviously, Will wasn’t going to just gush and run and hug Daddy when they’d only met three days ago. He needed to give him time.

  Aiden walked out of the room, then paused halfway down the hall, the need for a drink gripping him. He wouldn’t. But he needed something that would take away the ache in his chest, the churning in his gut. He was a dad. He had a son. And out of nowhere, the image of the quilt his mom had made him floated through his thoughts. And that quote. He hadn’t seen that quilt in years, but he knew it was probably still in a box in his old closet. For a moment, that quilt made him think that maybe this could be okay in the end. Maybe he could be good enough.

  But that thought was quickly replaced by his dad’s voice ringing through his head.

  You were never made for more than this bar, Aiden. Don’t try to do better than your old man. You ruin everything.

  He blinked, and the image of his dad’s weathered face behind the bar receded, replaced by the woman standing at the end of the hallway. Janie stared at him with a haunted expression, and he had no idea how these two people who’d been strangers to him a few days ago now mattered so much to him. But they did. She did. He was going to have to find a way to make this okay for her, too.

  “How did it go?” she asked softly.

  He joined her at the end of the hall, standing close enough that he could speak in a low voice and not be overheard by Will. The darker shades of green in her eyes reminded him of spruce trees, and the lighter shades of meadows in the spring. He glanced away, irritated that he was comparing the colors in her eyes to nature. That was a first.

  He shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and focused on the issue at hand. “I guess as well as it could go, considering I just announced I’m his dad. Hell, I don’t know how he can possibly be okay with something like this.”

  She nodded slightly, crossing her arms over her chest. An irrational part of him wanted her to tell him that she believed him, but the sad truth was she had no reason to. “He’s mature for his age,” she said, “and he’s always preferred honesty. The sooner we can get a straight answer out of Maxi, the better.”

  Just hearing his ex’s name made him tense.

  No, not just his ex. The mother of his kid. They would always have a connection now that wasn’t only in the past.

  Aiden ran a hand over his jaw. “We’ll have to figure something out. I can deal with my issues, but it…” He shook his head. “I feel bad for him. He’s still a kid, despite the fact that he looks like he could be an adult.”

  “I know. He likes to tease me about being so much taller than me.”

  Aiden grinned, clinging to that bit of info about Will, trying to focus on some common ground. “He’s got a good sense of humor?”

  “He’s hilarious, actually. Very sarcastic and quick-witted. Sometimes I find myself laughing instead of reprimanding him. It’s a tricky line to walk, you know, as a parent.”

  He hung onto every word she was saying. “I just don’t want to make this harder on him than it needs to be.”

  She tilted her head, her gaze fixed on him. “Nothing has to be solved tonight. I’ll talk to him a bi
t later. Maybe you and I should speak privately first, and then the three of us sit down at dinner to come up with a game plan for the big stuff. And maybe staying next week?”

  “Of course. I told you—I’m all in. My house is his house…and yours, too.”

  Something flashed across her eyes before she looked away. “Okay. We need a plan, then we tell him and see what he thinks.”

  “Would it help if I showed you guys around town? Maybe that will make things seem less scary. I want him to be comfortable here and get to know me, but he hasn’t even seen anything except my bar and my house. He has roots here, Janie. Generations back. We can go for a drive and then have some lunch out tomorrow.”

  The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. He was getting excited about touring Wishing River. When was the last time that happened? Ever? “There’s a diner that everyone around here goes to,” he rushed on. “It has some delicious food, and it’ll give you a real feel for the town. We can drive by the school, too, some of the parks, the ‘downtown’ area. Maybe it’ll appeal to him. Or at least it won’t feel completely foreign to him when it’s time to decide what to do next.”

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Janie said, but her smile was tight and didn’t reach her eyes.

  He understood her unease with the whole situation. They had a plan, though, or the beginnings of one, anyway. Now all they had to do was get through dinner together. If Will even came out of his room. As for Aiden, he was going to serial dial Maxi until she answered and then take a long ride and deal with the torrent of different emotions he was feeling.

  “I’m going out to the barn to check on the horses. Then maybe we can order takeout, if that’s okay, or I can cook. Whatever you and Will want.”

  “He’s acquired a taste for junk food in the last year,” she said. “I do my best to limit it, but maybe tonight it’s warranted. For all of us.”

  He agreed one thousand percent. “That diner I was talking about makes some home-style comfort food. Not the healthiest, but better than junk food. When I’m done with the horses, I’ll pick up our dinner there.”