by Layla Silver
She pulled out her laptop and placed the folder of files from the auto shop next to the couch, then got to work. The files were well organized into different kinds of expenses, at least, which made her job easier. A note on top from Josh said they needed her to keep the expenses from one folder separate from the rest, but besides that, she could do what she normally would.
The note made Angie's chest tighten. She'd only seen Josh's handwriting once before, on the piece of scrap paper he'd given her all those years ago with his first name and phone number. Messy, masculine, and his. She ran her fingers over the words, almost tracing each line before she realized what she was doing, and stopped herself.
Whenever she thought about him, her emotions seemed to get the best of her, at least until her brain caught up, and she realized how stupid she was being. If it were any other man, Angie wouldn’t even think twice about kicking him out of her life completely, but there was something about Josh that kept pulling her back to him no matter how many times she pulled away. No matter how many times she told herself he was bad news.
Completing the work for the auto shop was going to be hard. Every paper was a reminder of Josh, and not thinking about him every second was going to keep her from being fast and efficient, as she usually was. Angie bit her lip, readjusted into a more comfortable position on the couch, and started with the simple stuff. Payroll, and then she'd calculate the expenses for that special folder Josh had asked for. She scanned the time cards for the employees. Only six of them, all working full time, all living at the ranch the auto shop was built on.
Interesting. If their names hadn't all been different, she might have thought it was a family business. That likely wasn't the case, and though Angie was curious, it wasn't any of her business. Once she paid off her repair bill, she wouldn't see any of their names ever again, and her curiosity would disappear. But she still couldn't help but wonder how Josh knew all these people. His address was on the ranch, too.
Angie pushed the thought out of her mind, stopped snooping, and completed the paperwork. She'd email the numbers to Josh later so he could distribute the payments himself; that wasn't part of her job, and she definitely wasn’t going to show up at the shop in person and risk seeing him.
Once payroll was done, Angie looked up to see Emma rolling and giggling on the floor with Beary. She hadn't moved much since Angie had put her there and was occupied enough, thankfully, for Angie to move onto the next task.
The folder Josh mentioned was filled with receipts and other documentation of the prices of assorted materials. Wood, paint, drywall, other building supplies, the stuff Angie expected to see in a company's renovation expenses. But Angie had been at the shop a few days ago, and she hadn't seen any signs of renovations. In fact, the shop itself had been pretty new, and the number of supplies listed was much more than they would have needed to build it.
They must have invested their profits into another building they were planning somewhere on site. Angie shrugged. It was smart. Had it been Josh's plan, or someone else's?
She bit her lip, scolding herself for thinking of Josh again. She'd kicked him out of her house, told him to leave her alone, yet she couldn't stop thinking about him. That'd have to change.
Chapter 9 - Josh
Josh was at the auto shop later that day, keeping away from the other guys to brood in his own thoughts while he worked to change the breaks on an older BMW model. The damn things wouldn't come off, no matter how much he wiggled and tugged. He wasn't sure if he just wasn't being as careful as usual because he was frustrated and stressed, or if they were actually stuck. He grunted and growled after a few minutes of growing frustration, then tore the thing out in pieces. His fingers had almost turned into claws and ripped through another pair of gloves. Once he realized what he'd done, he stepped back to settle down a bit.
This was all his fault. He'd lost Angie because of his reckless past and inability to control his Bear ... and he couldn't even blame her for it. No woman in her right mind would want to take that chance, not when she had a child to worry about.
A child. When did she have a child? He hadn't gotten a good look at the little girl, but she had to be about one or two. She'd looked just like her mother. Where was the father? What kind of jerk left a beautiful woman like that to raise that beautiful little girl on her own?
Josh inspected the BMW's wheels to make sure he hadn't caused any damage to anything besides the pads themselves. Thankfully, everything seemed fine.
For a few minutes, Josh stayed there, crouched, pretending to work on the vehicle. But he was really thinking about Angie and her daughter. If only he could sit down and have a real conversation with her, the woman he believed was his mate. She was so stubborn she wouldn't even give him the chance to explain that he didn't care if she had a daughter. He'd always wanted little ones of his own, and he wouldn't let another child keep him from his mate. If only she'd let him, he'd be that little girl's surrogate father.
She'd made it pretty clear that she wasn't interested in a relationship. But Josh couldn't help but be torn between doing what was right and what he needed. His Bear wanted to claim her for himself, and part of him wanted to do that, too. He needed her in his life.
He changed the brake pads, slipping new ones in place of the old ones he'd torn up.
Footsteps sounded behind him, and he looked over his shoulder to see Greg leaning against one of the shop's support beams, arms crossed and smirking. His plain blue shirt and jeans were grease-stained since he, like many of the other guys, wasn't keen on wearing protective gear.
"Hey Greg," Josh said, playing it cool. He started putting the tire back in place, wedging it until it sat in the right spot.
"You look just as lovesick as ever."
Josh rolled his eyes. "Thanks."
"Still too scared to make a move? Losing your touch?" Greg taunted.
"No. It's not like that. We ..." Josh sighed, securing the tire while he searched for the right words. "We have a history. I thought I could rekindle it, turn it into something more, and it looked like it was working, but then ..."
"But then ...?" Greg raised an eyebrow.
"She said she's not looking for a relationship," Josh said, deflating completely. His shoulders were slumped when he stood and peeled off his gloves.
"So what? If you really want a relationship, there are thousands of women out there who'd date you in a heartbeat. Don't even need to weasel your way into their bed first," Greg snickered, but Josh silenced him with a look.
"Angie is my mate, Greg. I'm sure of it."
Greg sobered a bit, though he seemed skeptical. "I don't believe in all that mate stuff, Josh, you know that. But I'm always here to support you. So if you really think she's the one for you, then ..."
He paused for a long time.
"Come on, man, just say it." Josh was expecting the worst news. Was he just supposed to move on, live the rest of his life knowing Angie was his mate, but he couldn't have her? He wasn't sure he could do that. There were lots of things he could do for his mate, but leaving her forever ... he didn't think that was one of them.
"Don't force anything. She said she doesn't want a relationship, then she doesn't want a relationship. You could force her, but if you really care about her, then you'll regret putting her in that position," Greg said. Josh nodded absently, subconsciously telling the Bear inside him that they wouldn’t be ‘claiming’ Angie. But he always knew that wouldn’t have been a good idea. Greg continued: "A real relationship is mutual, based on love, trust, and respect."
"For a guy who doesn't believe in mates and relationships, you sure know a lot about them ..." Josh teased, smirking.
"Oh, shut it, Josh, I'm trying to help. You can't expect me to listen to Kyle drone on every day about relationships and not pick up a thing or two."
Josh laughed. It was true: Kyle went on and on about how finding his mate changed everything for him, even changed his whole perspective on relationships in general. Greg wa
s a huge flirt and maybe just as big of a womanizer as Josh had been back in the day, but he was still a good guy. For the right girl, he'd probably use some of that advice he'd picked up for himself.
"But seriously, Josh," Greg said, starting up again. "A real relationship can't be one-sided, and just 'cause you're not in a relationship with her doesn't mean you can't be there for her. Show her you're a decent guy, one who'll respect her wishes, and maybe she'll come around. That's the most you can ask for."
"Yeah, yeah ..." Josh sighed. "I'll keep my distance and hope she changes her mind."
Greg slapped his shoulder playfully. "Don't let her get you down too much. Don't want to seem needy or clingy, either. Be yourself."
***
Josh organized all the papers into their respective folders and placed them carefully into the box. Two weeks had passed since he last saw Angie in person, as she hadn't come to the shop and he'd smartened up and stopped going to her place. They'd talked over the phone and via email a bit so she could update him about the status of her work and clarify any confusing files she found, but other than that, nothing.
He'd taken Greg's advice and kept to himself, spending his energy pushing toward a better future instead of grasping for something he couldn't have. Not yet, at least. He'd given up most of his leisure time to keep working on his house, partially because it needed to get done, partially because it helped him work through his longing for Angie. Though he often worked on the house with her in mind, trying to figure out what she'd like, he tried to stay realistic. It was possible she'd never even see it. Still, Josh was feeling pretty good about everything. He’d pulled himself together, realizing that he could just be her friend if that’s all she needed.
Today, though, he would get to see her. He needed to give her all the receipts for all the supplies they'd ordered for the shop and their other construction projects on the ranch. Plus, the pay period was coming to an end, so she needed the guys' timecards for the last two weeks so she could do payroll. Even if their meeting was purely business, just like all their phone calls, seeing her would brighten his day. He needed to know she was doing okay.
After driving over to her place, he approached her front door with the files in his hands. He rang the doorbell, and his heart skipped a beat when he heard her footsteps on the other side. Angie opened the door, and the sight of her took his breath away. Her black hair was in a messy ponytail, and she was in a pencil skirt and suit jacket similar to the ones she'd been wearing that first time she came into the shop. They must be her work clothes.
"Hey," Josh said, offering her a smile. It wasn't hard when she was right there in front of him. "I just finished sorting all the files you'll need for your last week, so I thought I'd bring them over."
She took the box from him. "Thanks, that's easier than me driving over there."
"Sure, no problem." Josh watched her place the box somewhere behind her. "How are things?"
"Can't complain too much, I guess. Working for you has given me a bit more time to spend with Emma. You organize the files well enough that I don't have to fish through the whole box every time I need something," she said.
Josh chuckled, his heart soaring at how easy it was to talk to her. Unlike the last time he’d been at her place, she didn’t seem likely to slap him. "I'm glad to make your life a little easier." He paused. "Emma ... she's your daughter?"
"Ahh ... yeah, that's my little one." Angie smiled, but her cheeks went a little pink like she was embarrassed. She leaned against the door's threshold.
They were both quiet for a moment, and Josh found himself thinking, again, about having kids of his own one day. "Before ... I mean, last time I was here, you said that you couldn't be in a relationship because of your daughter. But you having a kid really doesn't bother me at all." Angie remained quiet, so Josh continued his rambling. "I love kids. I know, I know ... you probably didn't think me the type." He managed to get a laugh out of her, and she cracked a smile. "But I want my own someday. So you should know that if you're worried about that ... you don't have to be."
"You're right," she said, still smiling. "I didn't think you were the type, but I'm glad you told me."
Josh wasn't sure if that changed anything between them. From the look on her face, and because she still leaned against the doorframe in a neutral way, he didn't think it did. He was losing her, and he was running out of things to say. His heart began to beat faster, and words started spilling out again.
"You know ... you could still continue working for us after you've paid off your repairs if you want," Josh said, slowing to gauge her response, but her expression still hadn't changed. "I know you already have another job, so we wouldn't expect anything full-time, but we really do need to fill the position permanently. If it's giving you more time to spend with your daughter, then we'd love for you to take it."
Angie bit her lip. She seemed to really be considering it. While she thought, Josh stared into her bright blue eyes. He'd seen those exact eyes in his dreams hundreds of times over the last years, but his dreams had become almost unbearable since he'd run into Angie again less than a month ago. It was pure torture not being able to see her, but having his head filled with her all the time ...
She finally shook her head. "I don't know, Josh, I'll have to think about it. It's really sweet of you to offer, though."
"Don't worry about it; take all the time you need."
"Since you're here, I actually have a question about the files you originally gave me," she said.
Josh motioned for her to continue. "Shoot."
He was glad she'd found something to keep the conversation going on her own because he worried that anything he said might be taken as an obvious attempt to keep her at the door a little longer. But the look in her eyes … was it possible she was the one trying to keep him there?
"That special folder you told me to keep separate from the rest of the shop's files, what's it about?" she said. "I thought it looked like you guys were renovating, but then I figured there were way too many supplies for just the shop. I was wondering what that was about. Expanding to a new location, or ...?"
Josh grinned, immediately picturing the home he'd spent the last few months building by hand. Maybe it wasn't a masterpiece, but it was his very own, made for him and his future family. Hopefully, that would be Angie, her daughter, and some future cubs of their own. Everyone else on the ranch was building a house of their own, too.
"No, nothing like that," Josh laughed. "The shop's managed by just the six of us, and we don't hire out unless we need to, like in your case. We'd rather keep it simple and stay close to home."
"Right, home," she said. "I noticed you all live on that ranch."
"It's a beautiful place to live," Josh said. His heart raced as he prepared to make the leap. "Say, if you're so curious about the shop, what do you think about talking about it over dinner sometime?"
Angie's mouth opened, almost like her immediate response was to reject him. Josh’s heart felt like it was in his throat. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she said, almost reluctantly, "Okay."
He couldn't keep himself from grinning. For a second there, he’d been convinced that she wouldn’t accept. But now … finally, they'd go on a real date, and Josh would get that chance he needed to prove to Angie that he was a completely different man from the one she'd met two years ago. Josh would be the last one to praise Greg on his dating advice, but he had to admit that being patient had paid off.
Maybe it’d been less Greg’s advice and more having someone to reinforce the thought that he shouldn’t chase after her too hard when she wasn’t interested. Still, he’d have to thank Greg later.
"Tomorrow night, then?" he said.
She nodded.
Tomorrow night. He couldn't wait.
Chapter 10 – Angie
She was sure the dress made her look unattractive. It was a little black thing that barely covered her chest and ass, the kind of dress a girl wore to a club,
or when trying to hook up, not … not do whatever Angie was trying to do with Josh.
With a sigh, she peeled the skin-tight fabric off her body, tossed it onto the ‘nope’ pile with five other dresses, and went back to her closet. Almost everything in her wardrobe that resembled date clothes was several years old, the kind of stuff she might have worn to the Blue Lagoon way back. Nothing that was any good now. Most of it barely fit her, and none of it was anything she felt comfortable wearing on a real date.
She paced back and forth. Josh would be there to pick her up in an hour, and she hadn’t even dressed yet, let alone finished doing her makeup and hair. At this rate, she’d go on the date looking like a buffoon, and that wouldn’t do. Even if Josh claimed he didn’t care that she had a daughter and said she was beautiful, the thought of going on the date looking less-than-perfect sent spikes of anxiety shuddering through her.
Angie took a deep breath, looked in the mirror again, and nodded to her reflection. She could do this. Only an hour, but she could do this.
Going back to her closet, she picked out a frilly white summer dress printed with blue tulips. It was something her mother had given her last year when she said she needed to get back into the dating game and find Emma a real father. Angie had been offended at the suggestion, especially considering that she and her mother both had awful histories with men, but the dress was cute, fit her really well, and the occasion almost seemed fitting, considering Josh was Emma’s real father.
A shiver wound down her spine when she held the dress up and looked at herself in the mirror again. It was the armor she would wear tonight, the fabric that would help her hide all her secrets. Her biggest secret being that Josh was Emma’s father, and he still didn’t know about it. Not even her mother knew that Angie knew who the real father was.
Her mother was looking after Emma while Angie went on her date. Maybe it was a bit paranoid, but she’d sent them to the park before Josh got there just in case he came early. She really didn’t want her mother to meet Josh and have it not work out.