A Dad At Last

by Marie Ferrarella

  She’d known some of that business involved avoiding her. The tiny glimmers of hope she’d gathered to herself the night before had disappeared. Daylight had a way of tearing holes through the tissue paper dreams were made of. She was adult enough to deal with what had happened without making him uncomfortable in her presence. When he’d returned to the ranch at the end of the day, she’d greeted him with a hot meal and a few words of welcome, then gotten out of his way.

  Lacy knew he’d want to be in court to make sure the woman who had tried to destroy his life would be forced to stand trial and be incarcerated for a long time. What she hadn’t thought was that he’d offer to bring her with him.

  Her mouth curved ever so slightly. Offer wasn’t quite the word that applied. Ordered was more like it.

  She’d been prepared to drive herself to the courthouse after leaving Chase at the Maitland Maternity day-care center with Beth. Connor had intercepted her at the front door, informing her that he was driving her in. There had been no room for argument, so she didn’t try. If the truth were known, she was relieved that he’d taken charge. Her brave front only went so far.

  Now he was sitting beside her like a sentry guarding her from harm. Maybe a small part of him did care, Lacy thought, if only because she was the mother of his child. She wouldn’t push for more than that.

  “Are you sure?” he asked, the words barely audible. There was a glint of concern in his eyes as they washed over her.

  “I’m sure,” she replied just as the bailiff moved forward, announcing the arrival of the presiding judge.

  They’d drawn Judge Angela Jennings, a stately, statuesque woman who stood six-one in her stocking feet and had raised five children on her own after the untimely death of the only man she had ever loved. Highly respected for her rulings and her integrity, she was as impartial and fair-minded a judge as they could have hoped for.

  All the Maitlands had wanted to come. Those without commitments had, along with a good representation of their friends. As Lacy looked around, it appeared that no one had come to support Janelle.

  They all rose in a single wave at the bailiff’s behest. The judge walked in. They sat when she instructed them to do so.

  Lacy held her breath as the arraignment began.

  To Lacy, it was one huge blur.

  It was over almost before it began. There was a preponderance of evidence, far more than necessary to convince even the most lenient of judges that Janelle Davis did indeed appear to be the one who had kidnapped Chase O’Hara, not to mention her attempt to defraud the Maitland family of a considerable amount of money by presenting them with a bogus Connor O’Hara. Without anyone to arrange for her bail, Janelle was remanded to the custody of the court and sent to jail to await her trial.

  The moment the gavel came down they were on their feet, surging around Megan, who had sat beside Connor. Relieved, Megan invited everyone over to the house for dinner.

  Connor struggled with the desire to retreat, knowing that to turn his mother down so soon after the tender shoots of their new beginning had poked their heads through the ground would only hurt Megan’s feelings. And he supposed it wouldn’t really do any harm to retreat into the family lair and absorb the support everyone so freely offered. So he’d agreed, and he and Lacy had gone to the family mansion after they’d stopped to pick up the baby.

  Lacy didn’t remember what she ate even while she was eating it. All she knew was that it felt particularly insulating, being in the midst of his family like this. They all seemed to care so much for one another, she thought, watching them.

  And seemed bent, to a person, on making Connor feel welcomed and loved. And more, to make him realize that he had the power of a family backing him all the way.

  He still didn’t realize how lucky he was, Lacy thought. But he would, she felt confident. In time. The power of the love she saw around her was stronger than any loner tendencies Clarise O’Hara might have instilled in her adopted son.

  In some cases, Lacy thought, love did win out.

  “You look exhausted.”

  She jumped, nearly spilling the untouched drink she was holding. Jake had poured a glass and handed it to her more than half an hour ago, but she couldn’t seem to make herself drink it. Every time she brought it near her lips, her stomach began to churn. The smell of it was responsible, which was odd—she usually wasn’t sensitive to smells.

  Lacy hadn’t expected Connor to come up behind her.

  “I am a little tired,” she admitted. More than she should have been. But then, she mused, she was probably emotionally drained.

  She looked pale, Connor thought, and wondered if he should have insisted that she remain at home. She didn’t need to be subjected to the likes of Janelle any more than she absolutely had to. “Why don’t I take you home?”

  Home. It had such a nice sound. If only it really was her home. But she knew better.

  It was Connor’s home and her place to stay. Temporarily, until she could come up with a better situation that would allow Connor instant access to his son. She knew they couldn’t go on this way indefinitely. Not without things coming to a head or getting completely out of hand.

  She thought about the other night. Maybe things already were out of hand. She supposed it depended on a person’s definition of out of hand.

  “I don’t want to be any trouble.” She looked at Ellie, sitting on the sofa. One of Megan’s twin daughters, Ellie was bouncing Chase on her knee while several members of the family stood around her, talking and looking on. Chase was laughing with glee, the obvious star of the show. “I’ll just take Chase and call a cab.”

  “I said I’ll take you home.” Embarrassed, Connor realized his voice had an edge to it. Muttering something under his breath, he forced himself to sound more at ease. “Besides, I’m kind of bushed myself.”

  He did look a little tired, she thought. Or maybe he was using her as an excuse to get away. She felt too drained to protest.

  “All right.” She put down the untouched glass of champagne. The light rippled through it. “Let me just say goodbye to your mother.”

  He slipped an arm around her shoulders, briefly securing her position beside him before he went to get their son. “I already said our goodbyes. She was the one who suggested I take you home.”

  Searching the other woman out, Lacy saw her by the fireplace, talking to her attorney. It struck her what a nice pair they made. She wondered if either of them realized it.

  As if by instinct, Megan turned her head toward her. Their eyes met across the room, and Lacy nodded at the matriarch, who smiled and waved her on her way.

  Connor returned holding Chase in his arms. He looked so much more at ease with his son than he had a few weeks ago. Practice makes perfect, Lacy thought.

  “I’ll take him.” She held out her arms, but Connor made no attempt to transfer possession of the little boy. Instead, he carefully shifted the child to his shoulder.

  “That’s okay. I’ve got him.”

  The perfect father, she thought with a smile. Connor was coming along nicely.

  A sea of goodbyes accompanied them out the front door. Lacy braced herself as they went out, grateful that at least the humidity was low these past few days. The daytime temperatures were high, but not unpleasantly so, and the air cooled down by evening.

  They walked in companionable silence to his car. Connor had insisted on parking the vehicle outside rather than in the garage. No doubt for a quick getaway, she thought, amused.

  Lacy was all set to help Connor strap Chase into his car seat, but he did it himself. She got into the front seat and strapped herself in. Pretty soon he would be fine with Chase by himself, she thought. He had already changed a couple of diapers, and he’d fed the baby more than once.

  This was what she had wanted, Lacy reminded herself. To get Connor to interact with his son. Why did triumph come with an ache?

  She felt too tired to think it through. Lacy stared at the mansion as he pulled
away. There were lights on everywhere. It made her feel warm.

  “I guess that’s round one,” Lacy murmured. Connor spared her a silent, quizzical look as he turned the vehicle around and began heading for the open road. “The arraignment,” she clarified. “It’s round one.”

  “It’s just the warmup,” he corrected. “The first day of the trial will be round one.”

  The trial promised to be a long, drawn-out affair. Chelsea had warned them of that. The local media were hungry for some angle to play up, and Maitland was a name that everyone knew. Lacy wondered how all this was going to affect Connor and if she was going to have an inkling of his reactions. He played everything so close to the chest. She supposed that was why she was so grateful when she saw him opening up to their son.

  The trees that lined the road looked bigger in the night, their leafy branches reaching into the sky. “Do you know who Janelle is going to get to defend her?”

  He shook his head. It hadn’t crossed his mind. As far as he was concerned, they could lock the woman up and throw away the key. “She has no money, as far as anyone knows. More than likely, the court’ll have to appoint someone.” They came to a red light, and he eased to a stop. Connor tried to read the expression on Lacy’s face. It looked like pity, but he couldn’t believe he was right. Not after all that had happened. “What is it?”

  Lacy shrugged self-consciously, turning her face away. “Nothing.”

  A month ago, he would have left it alone, grateful that she didn’t want to elaborate. But things had changed between them—and within him. “Something’s on your mind. What is it?”

  She knew he wouldn’t like this. That he’d probably get annoyed with her. But he’d asked, pressed, really, so she had no choice but to tell him. “I feel sorry for her.”

  Stunned, Connor pulled over to the side of the road and looked at her incredulously. “Are you out of your mind?”

  There was a time the question would have intimidated her and made her back away. But that time had passed. She looked at him and shrugged again. “Maybe.” But her tone said she didn’t think so.

  What was going on in her head? “Lacy, that woman tried to kill you. Would have killed you if she hadn’t been frightened away by the sound of people approaching. She lied to my mother, to the whole family. She tried to get away with a huge chunk of the family money, and worst of all, she kidnapped Chase. She probably would have killed him, given half a chance, if things didn’t look as if they were going to work out her way.”

  He waited for an answer. What the hell was Lacy thinking, feeling sorry for a creature like that, a woman who had absolutely no conscience, no qualms about using people. She hadn’t even given any indication she cared that her husband had been killed.

  Lacy knew all about the attempt on her life, and the other charges, as well. Connor was only repeating details she remembered.

  “I know, I know.” Frustrated, she blew out a breath. It would be easy to hate Janelle. Easy if she wasn’t cursed with the ability to empathize with even the cruelest of people. But she did have that ability, and it nagged at her now. Yes, Janelle had done all those hateful things, but she was alone. With no one to take her side. No one to care what happened to her. “But she just must feel so alone right now, so desperate. Her husband’s dead—”

  Damn it, the woman had too big a heart. It blinded her to the fact that some people were just plain irredeemable. “Petey was nothing more than a convenience for her. A means to an end. I didn’t see her shed a single tear.”

  “Maybe nobody did.” She looked at him significantly. “But some people are too proud to cry or show that they’re hurt.”

  “You’re giving the woman too much credit, Lacy. Some people are just bad to the bone. She’s one of them.”

  Lacy sighed as he started the car again. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right.” He guided the vehicle onto the road. There weren’t many cars out at this time of night. He glanced at her again. So this was what pure goodness was, bottled in a beautiful vessel. Guilt and longing tugged at him from opposite sides. “Your trouble, Lacy, is that your heart is just too big.”

  It got in the way at times, maybe, but she didn’t see it as a problem, exactly. She looked at his rigid profile and knew that he did.

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “Yes,” he said firmly, “it is. For you.”

  Although, as far as the rest of the world went, he had to admit it was rather comforting to know there was someone out there who could forgive so readily, could be so charitable.

  Lacy pressed her lips together. “I already know that,” she said quietly.

  She was talking about them, he thought. He knew he should leave well enough alone and continue with this charade they were playing, avoid talking about the other night until it became a distant memory.

  But part of him didn’t think it ever would become a distant memory. And she’d been through so much already. He couldn’t stand to hear the hurt in her voice. No matter how much she tried to mask it, it was still there. And he knew he was the cause of it.

  Damned if I do and damned if I don’t, Connor thought.

  When he reached the outskirts of the city, he pressed down on the accelerator. It was now or never. “About the other night, Lacy…”

  She turned her head slowly, her eyes catching his. “If you apologize to me, Connor, if you make any excuse at all, your family’s going to have to be attending another trial, because I swear I won’t be held responsible for what I do to you.”

  She looked so serious for a second that he wasn’t sure what to say. And then, very slowly, a smile began to tug on his lips as he backed away from the subject, relieved to be spared this way.

  “All right, Lacy. Point taken.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  THE NEED to apologize to her stayed with Connor all the way home despite what he’d said to Lacy in the car. It hovered about his mind as she put Chase down for the night.

  It would be simpler to let it go, the way she’d suggested. But he wasn’t interested in simpler. He was interested in right. He wanted to make her understand that it was only an act of weakness on his part that had made him take her to his bed. Connor wanted her to know that she had nothing to worry about. It wasn’t going to happen again.

  When she finally came out of Chase’s room, he was waiting for her in the hall. When he said her name, she looked up, startled.

  “You look as white as a sheet.” He turned her toward the light to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. “What’s the matter?”

  Self-conscious, Lacy shrugged away his concern. The nausea was passing. It was probably something she’d eaten. “My stomach’s feeling a little out of kilter, that’s all.”

  He didn’t believe her. The apology was temporarily shelved. Connor had his own theory about why she looked as pale as she did.

  “It wouldn’t have anything to do with being in the courtroom today, would it?” There was a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

  He’d seen the way Janelle had looked at her, had seen the malevolence in the other woman’s eyes. If there hadn’t been guards between them and other people to intervene, Janelle would have had no qualms about snuffing out Lacy’s life.

  Lacy knew what he was thinking as plainly as if it was written on a chalkboard. She unconsciously raised her chin.

  “No,” she insisted, “it wouldn’t. I’m not afraid of her anymore, Connor. I was once,” she admitted, “but not anymore.”

  She made him think of a bantamweight contender entering the ring with nothing to lose and everything to gain. The thought made him smile. “Tough guy, eh?”

  She didn’t know if he was teasing her or mocking her. In either case, the answer was the same. “No, just a tougher woman.” Lacy rocked a little on the balls of her feet. “A better, new, improved me.”

  He couldn’t resist toying with the strand of hair that curled into her face, caressing her cheek. “There was nothi
ng wrong with the old you.”

  Pleasure spread through her like the rays of the early morning sun along the darkened desert. “I think that’s the first time you’ve ever given me a compliment that didn’t involve my cooking.”

  “It shouldn’t have been.” Damn it, he upbraided himself, he was getting sidetracked again. He shouldn’t be giving her compliments now—but he wanted to. Frustrated with his inability to stay on track, Connor sighed. “Which is part of the problem.”

  She tried to guess what was on his mind, and this time she failed. “I wasn’t aware that there was a problem or that it came in parts.”

  He had no more finesse now than he’d had earlier. He had no choice but to plunge ahead. “Lacy, about the other night…”

  She wasn’t going to listen, wasn’t going to have him tell her that he regretted it, that it would never happen again. That they were employer and employee, tied together by something a little more than a weekly paycheck. She knew all that, but hearing it only made it worse. Made it painful.

  With effort, she masked her vulnerability with humor. It was her only weapon.

  “Ah, I see that my threat in the car seems to have fallen on deaf ears.” She drew herself up, a twig to his oak. “Just because I’m smaller than you doesn’t mean I don’t know how to physically damage you, Connor.”

  The very thought of her being able to inflict any sort of bodily harm to him, let alone the kind that had consequence, made him laugh. Hard. Regaining control of himself, Connor leaned on her shoulder for support. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you, but you don’t exactly have me quaking in my boots.”

  “Well, you should be,” she countered, although the corners of her mouth had turned up in response to his laughter. “I’ve learned a few things about taking care of myself since I last lived in your house.”

  Shelby had seen to that. The owner of the diner where she’d worked until moving into Connor’s house had taken her under her wing and had become her best friend. Everyone knew her story, that she’d been assaulted and left for dead in the alley. It had been Shelby who had insisted that she take martial arts lessons so she could take care of herself.