Never With You (The Never Series Book 6)

by Anie Michaels

  “Just some love.” He bent at the waist and pointed at his own cheek.

  Mattie giggled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His arm whipped out and snatched her around the waist, lifting her off the deck, and he pressed his face into her neck, kissing and tickling her all at the same time. She was giggling uncontrollably and it was impossible to not watch and smile. It was endearing, watching a father with his daughter, in a display of unabashed love and joy. Something squeezed around my heart and my eyes went to Briggs. He was also watching, but I could see a little bit of sadness in his eyes, just beneath the smile. I wanted to go to him, to thread my fingers through his, to show him I was there for him, but I didn’t feel as though it was my place.

  “Would you like some sangria?” Ella asked, pulling me from my trance.

  “Oh, that sounds incredible.”

  “Here, take him and I’ll be right back.” She held Andrew out to me and my auntie instincts kicked in. I slid my hands under his arms and brought him to my chest, slipping one arm under his rump.

  “Hey there, buddy,” I said in my talking to a baby voice. I was a stranger to him and there was always the possibility that he would go into stranger danger mode, but all I got from him were big, drooly smiles. “You sure are a handsome boy,” I said, bouncing him gently. He was much bigger than the twins. Obviously, he was an eater.

  “Going to be a linebacker,” Porter said from the grill.

  Mattie had situated herself at the table, a coloring book and box of crayons all waiting and ready for her.

  “I believe it,” I said with a laugh. My eyes drifted to Briggs, but his gaze was already on me. Well, me and the baby in my arms. His eyes on me quite nearly knocked all the air from my lungs. It almost hurt, the way he was watching me hold a baby. I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing. I was thinking about what it would be like to hold our baby. A baby we made because we loved each other and wanted to start a family, to tie ourselves together in a way that rose high above legal documents and verbal promises. Creating a life together would be the ultimate bond. And it was painful to realize that a part of me, and not a small part, wanted to hope for that with him.

  “Talia, I’m going to color you a picture,” Mattie said from the table. “Do you want a puppy or a butterfly?”

  “Um, a butterfly sounds good.”

  “What’s your favorite color?”

  “Green,” I replied.

  She immediately set to sifting through the box of crayons, assumedly looking for the perfect shade of green.

  “My favorite color is purple,” she said as she continued to dig.

  “Light purple or dark purple?”

  “Dark. Like a violet. That’s my grandma Tilly’s favorite color too.”

  “Purple and green go well together. Can you add some purple to my butterfly?”

  “Sure,” she replied excitedly.

  “Okay, here we go,” Ella said, carefully stepping through the sliding glass door with two very full glasses of sangria. She set them both down on the table and then gently took Andrew from me and got him settled in a high chair at the end of the table. After tossing some cheerios on his tray she handed me my drink with a smile. “Cheers,” she said, lifting her glass and tapping it against mine. “To summers at the beach.”

  I smiled and took a sip. It was damn good sangria.

  “You got any free time tomorrow, Briggs? I have a few men who could spare a few hours at your house. We could get all the cabinets installed.”

  Briggs was in the middle of a pull on his beer when Porter asked the question, and I watched as his throat worked to swallow it down. His eyes fell to his feet at about the same time my heart plummeted to the bottom of my stomach.

  “Tomorrow’s no good. Driving Talia to Portland.”

  “You’re leaving tomorrow?” Ella asked, surprise evident in her voice. “Already?”

  “Yeah,” I said, forcing a smile on my face. “I was only on vacation for the week. Time to get back to real life.”

  Briggs took another pull from his beer, but this time he looked angry.

  “Oh,” she said on a sigh. She sounded surprisingly upset. “When will you be back?” She asked me the question, but looked at Briggs for the answer.

  “Ella,” Porter said, his tone soft, but it was obviously a warning. “Baby, I need plates for these burgers.”

  “Okay,” she said on a sigh, then stood up and went in the house.

  “I’ll help,” I said quickly, shooting up from my seat, anxious to escape the awkwardness of the deck.

  “I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t trying to pry,” Ella said as soon as we were alone in the kitchen.

  “It’s okay, there’s nothing to pry into, really.” I shrugged, trying to pretend like everything was fine. I wanted desperately for everything to be just that—fine. Perhaps if I lied to myself and everyone else enough, eventually it would all be okay.

  “So, you and Briggs? You aren’t going to keep seeing each other?” Her voice was so full of hope, it surprised me to realize how much Ella was rooting for Briggs and me to figure out our shit. All I could offer her was another shrug.

  “It’s complicated.”

  Her expression moved from hopeful to concerned.

  “Talia, he’s such a good man. I obviously don’t know him as well as Megan and Patrick, but I know him well enough to know he’d lay down everything for the right woman.” Her words were like alcohol poured on an open wound. There was already a sting buzzing underneath my skin, but her words ripped me open even more. “His ex is a nasty bitch, and he should be so bitter after what she did to him, but I know he’s just waiting for someone to come along who’ll be there for him.”

  “You’re not saying anything I disagree with. He is a great man. The best I’ve ever met. But I’ve got my own issues, too. It’s just bad timing, I think.”

  “Or, maybe, it’s perfect timing,” she practically whispered. She held my gaze for a moment, but then turned away when it was obvious I couldn’t respond.

  I helped Ella get what she needed for Porter and then we had a nice dinner. Mattie and Andrew proved to be entertaining and good ice breakers. There were no awkward silences because Mattie filled them all with her four-year-old chatter. And if she wasn’t talking, Andrew was squealing, too excited about eating his dinner.

  Eventually, the awkwardness melted away, and I shouldn’t have doubted it. Ella and Porter were gracious hosts and there was something wonderful about being around them. It was interesting to watch them interact, to see how Porter would anticipate Ella’s needs and provide her with whatever she needed before she, herself, even knew. And she was a constant source of comfort to him—that was obvious. She touched him whenever she got a chance. Nothing scandalous, but sweet, gentle, familiar touches. A hand on his forearm, or running her fingers through the hair at his nape. It was innocent but intimate all at the same time.

  I found myself longing for that same familiarity with Briggs. I wanted to reach under the table and place my hand on his leg, but I knew it would be misleading. My need to touch him, to reach out and feel that physical connection with him, was overpowered by my head telling me no good could come from it. So we stayed painfully platonic while we spent the evening with Ella and Porter.

  Even the ride home was a little uncomfortable. I was still holding back and I didn’t know if it was for my benefit, or his, really. As he drove he reached out his hand and took mine, bringing it back to rest on his leg. That was nice, the connection, but what I wanted instead was to climb on his lap and bury my face in the crook of his neck and breathe him in. I wanted to taste him, feel his lips against mine. I wanted to be reminded, because I was afraid I’d already forgotten.

  He parked his truck but didn’t move right away to get out. Instead, he looked straight ahead, his fingers still laced through mine.

  “I can feel you pulling back,” he finally whispered. I wasn’t brave enough to look at him, though. “We still h
ave this one night and even if tomorrow you walk away and I never see you again, all I want for the next few hours is just to be with you.”

  I found enough strength to finally look him in the eye and say, “I want that too.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Briggs

  I’d been clear with Talia about what I wanted; both long term and short. I wanted forever with her, but knew she wasn’t ready for that. So, instead, I’d settle for one last night. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try my damnedest to show her what she meant to me, but we were beyond words at that point.

  I shut my truck door after climbing down and crossed in front of the hood. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked toward her and the awareness of it made my blood run hot. It killed me thinking this would possibly—no, probably—be our last night together.

  I opened her door and took her hand, guiding her down to the ground, then threading my fingers through hers, making every connection I could. She leaned into me, resting her cheek against my arm, and I was sure I heard her inhale, taking in my scent.

  I unlocked the front door but didn’t turn on any lights or even stop to take off my shoes. No, I went straight for the stairs and took her with me. I wasn’t going to waste any more time with her. She didn’t object and followed me up the stairs eagerly.

  Once we were both in my bedroom, I closed the door and gently pushed her back up against it. She let out a surprised breath, but I captured it with my mouth when I closed my lips over hers. Her breath turned into a moan and her hands came up to cradle my face, while my hands grasped her hips and kept her pinned to the back of the door. I pulled back and braced my forehead against hers.

  “I’m going to undress you, firecracker, and I’m going to take my time. I’m going to memorize every inch of you, taste every part of you, and I don’t care if it takes all night, yeah?”

  She nodded, almost frantically, but then said, “Yes,” on a breath.

  I kissed her again and my fingers slid under the hem of her shirt, just grazing the soft flesh of her stomach. She whimpered and I hardened at the sound. I would miss the noises she made when I touched her. My hands moved up her body and her top came with it. She lifted her arms above her head and allowed me to pull the shirt off, and I watched as her red hair cascaded back down to her shoulders.

  My gaze slid lower to the swell of her perfect fucking breasts, watching as they moved up and down with her breaths, almost spilling out of the black lace bra she was wearing just to torture me. I palmed them both and licked the valley between, feeling her breath accelerate with my touch. I watched as her skin flooded with goosebumps and it made my cock strain, knowing I was having an effect on her, that her body responded to my touch that way. My mouth moved up her throat to her neck and when I captured her ear between my teeth she went from excited to frantic.

  She gripped my shirt and tried tugging it off, so I pulled it off but then captured her mouth with mine. Her hands moved up from my waist and over my chest, then up to link behind my neck, pressing her body up against mine. Nothing in the world felt better than Talia’s body, any part of it, touching me. She hitched one leg up, wrapping it around my hip, and I took the opportunity to press the bulge of my cock against her, hoping to show her exactly how much I wanted her. If she were any other woman, I’d fuck her against the door, but I couldn’t give her sloppy and frantic tonight.

  I pushed back and let my hands drop to her shorts, unbuttoning them, but never losing eye contact. I unzipped them and she pushed her pelvis forward a bit, giving me space to pull them down her legs, leaving her standing in matching black lace bra and underwear.

  Wrapping my hands loosely around her ankles, I took my time sliding them up her calves, then the back of her thighs, stopping at the curve of her ass. When I stood, I lifted her and she wound all her limbs around me with a yelp.

  I laid her gently on the bed, stripped off my pants, then crawled over her, letting my eyes take in every part of her. If that was the last time I would get to see her, all of her, I was going to take my time memorizing her.

  I cupped one side of her face, trailing my thumb over her bottom lip. “How am I ever supposed to forget how perfect you are?”

  She couldn’t answer me, just took that bottom lip and pulled it between her teeth. Perhaps she was holding something back. Perhaps if I pressed her about it she’d tell me everything I wanted to hear. But I wouldn’t pressure her into that, wouldn’t force her into making the decision to be with me. Instead, I planned on using my body, and hers, to make sure she knew when the sun came up tomorrow what she’d be leaving behind.

  I pulled the lip from her teeth, then kissed her. Her mouth opened on a moan and I slid my tongue inside, tasting her. I pulled away before I got lost in her mouth; I had other things in mind.

  “Flip over,” I said, my voice sounding gruffer than normal. Not questioning me at all, she rolled to her stomach and the sight made every last drop of blood in my body head straight for my cock. Her beautiful creamy skin, unmarred and perfect, dusted with freckles, clashed beautifully with the black lace of her underwear. It was the sexiest juxtaposition.

  I was normally a breast man. But, Jesus, when she flipped over and I saw a strip of lace nestled between the globes of her ass, it was almost enough to make me lose control.

  “Fuck, Talia,” I said as I palmed both cheeks. “Give a man a warning next time.”

  “But then I wouldn’t have gotten to hear your reaction.”

  A laugh rumbled through me at her words, and I realized I was feeling happy and content. Two things I hadn’t felt in a while before that night she knocked on my door in a storm, and probably wouldn’t feel for quite some time after tomorrow.

  My hands slid up and I hooked the thong, pulling it down slowly, groaning as I watched it peel off her ass and down her legs. I tossed it on the floor and then moved to unclasp her bra, kissing her at the nape of her neck as I did. She writhed on the bed, and I knew she wanted to touch me. I wanted that too.

  I placed my lips at the small of her back and kissed all the way up her spine, loving the way she moved under me, as though she couldn’t get enough of my touch. When I placed a kiss on her shoulder she rolled, her mouth finding mine, and then it was as if we’d ignited. Her hands smoothed over my biceps, then up my waist and around to my back, only to move lower, her fingertips finding their way under the waistband of my boxer briefs. She pushed them as far down as she could reach and then I took over, using my legs and feet to kick them off, never breaking our kiss.

  Without words, with nothing between us except longing, need, and perhaps a little bit of hope, she drew her knees up around my waist and I slipped into her.

  She was ready for me, wet and perfect, and in the back of my mind I wondered if it would always be this easy with her, this effortless. It had never been that way with anyone else, and I was scared to death it wouldn’t be that way with anyone after her either.

  I couldn’t stop kissing her. The fear that I would open my mouth and say things I shouldn’t kept my lips pressed firmly against hers. If I couldn’t say the words, I’d show her with my body. So, I did. I made love to her, hoping with every breath and every kiss, she’d realize what she meant to me. She’d hear what I wasn’t allowing myself to say and tell me she felt it too.

  Each time I pushed into her, she’d whimper against me, her hands always touching some part of my body. When I dragged out, inevitably hitting the spot inside her that would make her tremble, she gasped, urging me on with her body.

  When I finally found the perfect rhythm to make her splinter and fall to pieces, watching her come undone sent me right into oblivion with her.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Talia

  When the morning came, when the sun beamed through the window of Briggs’s bedroom like it had every other morning I’d been there, I was instantly sad. There weren’t even a few moments of ignorant bliss or sleepy morning amnesia. Nope. The instant my eyes opened my heart hurt.

/>   Briggs’s arm was slung over my waist, his front to my back, and I was securely nestled against him. His breaths puffed out against my shoulder, and he held me. He wasn’t just sleeping next to me, he was grasping onto me.

  I squeezed my eyes shut again, trying to block out reality.

  I was leaving today. Leaving this house. Leaving the beach.

  Leaving Briggs.

  I pushed my face into the pillow, hoping to stave off the inevitable. If I could fall back asleep, I could have a few more hours with him. He must have felt me stir because his arm pulled me even closer and he groaned, the air from his lungs tickling the skin of my neck.

  We were both silent for a moment, and I tried to imagine what he was thinking. Was he happy morning had come and I would finally be leaving? Did he still want me to stay? Did he still want something more from me than I could offer? Either way, no matter which direction I went, I would be letting down half of myself. The smart thing to do would be to protect myself, protect my heart, and make sure I wasn’t putting myself in jeopardy, even if it was only emotional distress.

  But I knew that would be impossible.

  Leaving Briggs would break me.

  As if he could hear my thoughts his arm lifted from me, freeing me, and I was instantly cold. Instantly empty. Irrevocably sad. The hardest part, though? Knowing I couldn’t tell him any of that. He’d try to convince me to stay if I did, try to talk me into moving forward with him. Today it would be hard to resist him.

  “Morning,” I managed to squeak out.

  He groaned again and I could hear what sounded like his hands rubbing his eyes. “Morning,” he finally responded after a few quiet moments. “I’m going to hop in the shower real quick so we can head out. Coffee and muffins good for you for breakfast?”

  “Um, yeah. Sure.” I practically stumbled over the words, his nonchalance at our situation taking me by complete surprise. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but normal, absolutely-nothing-wrong Briggs was not it.

  “Great. I’ll be fast in the bathroom so you can get a shower in too. If we leave early enough we can beat the traffic in the city.”