The Grand Dark

by Richard Kadrey

  Only if she’s blind too, thought Largo. And deaf.

  When they reached the group, Lucie took Remy’s arm excitedly. “We’ve been scouting good shopping prospects for you and settled on this shop.”

  “What’s it called?” said Largo.

  “We’re not sure,” Lucie said. She pointed above the door of a large shop a few doors down from the corner. The painted sign was so worn that the name of the shop was illegible. All any of them could make out was the painted image of a man and woman in formal attire standing on a cloud.

  Baumann made a face and said, “Are they supposed to be dead?”

  “No!” said Lucie. “They’re happily drifting off to somewhere wonderful.”

  “It looks like they’re floating to purgatory,” said Baumann, and Lucie playfully cuffed him on the arm. “You brute,” he said.

  “Poor dear,” said Hanna. “I know how to make it feel better.” She passed him a tiny brown bottle of cocaine. He cupped a hand over his face to hide it and snorted a small amount from the back of his other hand.

  “Me next,” squealed Lucie. Baumann tapped out a small amount onto his hand again and she sniffed it up. “Yummy,” she said, and refused to let go of his hand. To Largo it looked like he didn’t mind at all. Hanna tapped out a small amount for herself and Enki. She passed the bottle to Remy and she and Largo took some. He was especially grateful since he hadn’t had a chance to ask Remy for morphia before they rushed out to meet the others. The cocaine would keep him going until they could sneak away.

  Enki said, “Is anyone going to tell me what the painting looks like or must I dwell in ignorance forever?” His tone surprised Largo. It was nothing like the other night at the Petersen party. He sounded almost friendly.

  “It’s a man and woman in lovely clothes standing on a cloud,” said Remy.

  “How charming,” he said.

  Hanna widened her eyes, pretending to be shocked. “My god. He’s human after all.”

  In the shop, Largo tried on what seemed like an endless combination of jackets and pants until he felt like a dressing dummy. Worse, all the activity made his injured shoulder ache even more. When he complained, Enki passed him a hip flask of whiskey. After a couple of sips, trying on clothes again became pleasant, especially with the women cooing around him, telling him how handsome he looked. As they narrowed the choices, Baumann said, “I wore something like that in Kapitan der Liebe and women went wild.”

  “That decides it, doesn’t it?” said Remy.

  Largo looked at himself in the mirror and liked what he saw. The suit was stylish enough to not be as embarrassing as his current wardrobe, but serious enough that even a fossil like Branca had to approve of it. He bought a couple of extra shirts to go with it and as he was paying, Remy showed him a formal jacket, shirt, and tie. “You would look gorgeous in these,” she said. When she checked the price tag she made a face. “But they’re expensive.” Largo took out his Valda and bought them without hesitation. Remy threw her arms around him and kissed him.

  “We should celebrate your handsome gentleman,” said Hanna.

  “I agree,” Remy said, and led them to a bar on the next block. Lucie used the Trefle to call Una, who joined them a few minutes later. Enki bought the first round of drinks and everybody toasted to his good health. Largo marveled at his pleasant behavior and refusal to call the bar bourgeois.

  Remy said, “You’ve been gone for days without a word, Enki. Did you run off with a voluptuous art patron?”

  “No. At least, I don’t think so,” he said. “The truth is, I can’t remember much of anything.”

  “You drink too much,” said Una.

  “You might be right. I must have been drinking a lot to forget everything so thoroughly.”

  “We thought you’d abandoned us. But you’ve returned, and that’s all that matters,” said Remy.

  “Thank you. But I want to say something. The other night, at the Petersens’ party, I behaved badly. Talking about rebellion and armed revolt was stupid. Worse, if the wrong person had heard my blathering, it could have put you all in danger. I’m very sorry.”

  Lucie, who was sitting between him and Baumann, patted him on the shoulder.

  “We were all drinking and acting foolishly. I’m sure you’re forgiven,” said Remy.

  Hanna put down her drink and said, “You should disappear more often. It improves your disposition.” Even Enki laughed at that.

  A few minutes later, Largo moved his chair next to Hanna’s. He said, “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about your job?”

  “Feel free,” she said, curious.

  “You design chimeras, right? Does that mean you work for Schöne Maschinen?”

  “Yes, I do. Why do you ask?”

  “I was just there and met Baron Hellswarth.”

  Hanna set down her cigarette. “I’m impressed. I’ve been there three years and have only seen him twice. What did you think of him?”

  “He was very kind to me. Very smart. He let me pet Kara.”

  Hanna smiled. “Did you like her? I worked on Kara’s development, you know. She’s one of our most complex eugenics. The Baron himself directed the project.”

  “She was wonderful. Beautiful and very friendly.”

  “She doesn’t like everyone, but if she liked you, she must have good taste,” said Hanna. “But why are you suddenly interested in eugenics?”

  Largo said, “I’ve always been interested. Who wouldn’t be?”

  Hanna puffed her cigarette. “You should let me know the next time you’re at Schöne Maschinen. I might be able to give you a tour of the laboratory.”

  “That would be wonderful,” he said. Then, more shyly, he added, “The Baron also said that you sometimes take on apprentices.”

  “Ah. It becomes clearer,” said Hanna, patting his hand. “You don’t want to spend the rest of your life running errands? Good for you. Yes, we do have an apprentice program, but why don’t we take things one step at a time and I give you a tour? The work can be exciting, but it’s not like we design miracles every day. There are a lot of failures and missteps.”

  He hadn’t thought of that. “What happens to them?”

  Hanna sipped her drink. “Most die quickly. Others, we have to put down ourselves. Don’t worry. We’re quite efficient and humane. They feel nothing.”

  Oh,” said Largo. “I’m glad.”

  Hanna looked at him. “Dealing with failures is one of the first lessons you learn when working with eugenics. You have to steel your heart to it. If you can’t do that . . .”

  “No. I can. It’s just something I hadn’t thought of before.”

  Hanna looked at Remy, who winked at her. “She thinks I’m trying to steal you,” she said. “If you weren’t with Remy, I just might.”

  Largo flushed red. “I’m sure she isn’t thinking anything like that.”

  “Are you blushing? Yes, under different circumstances I’d definitely eat you up.”

  Largo looked back at Remy, who blew him a kiss. “I’m flattered,” he said softly.

  Hanna brushed some hair from Largo’s forehead. “You should go back to your lady love. Maybe I’ll steal you both away someday,” she said. “Until then, come to my lab and I’ll show you what we’re working on.”

  “I’d really appreciate it,” Largo said. He held Hanna’s hand as he got up.

  “Now I’m the one who’s blushing,” she said.

  When Largo sat down next to Remy she said, “What were you two whispering about?”

  “I think she’s planning on ravishing us both,” he said.

  “I’ve had worse offers,” said Remy. “Was there anything besides pillow talk?”

  “Yes. She said she might give me a tour of the chimera laboratory at Schöne Maschinen.”

  Remy made a face. “I’m not sure I could do that. All those strange animals.”

  “Yes, but some of them are beautiful.”

  “True. Well, if you go you’l
l have to tell me all about it.”

  “Don’t worry. You’ll hear everything.” As pleasant as it was being with everyone, Largo wished that he and Remy were alone so that he could tell her about what the Baron had said. Instead, he whispered, “Do you have any morphia with you?”

  “Of course. Do you want some now?”

  “It will help me get through the rest of the evening.”

  “Come on,” Remy said. She pulled him into a stall in the men’s restroom and they put drops under each other’s tongues.

  When they returned to the table, Baumann said, “That must have been the quickest fuck in history.” Lucie laughed and squeezed his arm.

  Remy said, “It’s true. Largo is that brilliant a lover.”

  “Lucky girl,” said Una. “Now that you’re so relaxed I expect an especially great performance tonight.”

  “I won’t disappoint you.”

  “You never do, dear.” Una looked at her watch. “On that note, ladies, it’s time for us to return to the Grand Dark.”

  Lucie frowned and kissed Baumann passionately. Remy got up and said to Hanna, “Can I trust you with him?”

  “Never,” she replied.

  “Take care, ladies,” said Enki.

  Baumann raised a glass to them as they left. He said, “I barely have time for one more drink, but plenty for a bit more of the powder. Would anyone care to join me?”

  “My apologies, Largo,” said Hanna. “I was in love with you a moment ago, but now I’m falling for Baumann.”

  “I understand,” he said. “I think we’re all feeling that way.”

  Largo spent the last of his coins on a tram home so he could protect his new clothes. In his flat, he stripped off his ragged work garb and threw it in a heap on the desk in the bedroom.

  It was hard to get what Baron Hellswarth said out of his head, and Hanna’s offer to show him her laboratory made it even harder. Largo put on his new clothes. He felt as if he were on the cusp of some great transformation. When he was dressed, he looked at himself in the mirror. Even in the piss-yellow light he could tell that he was changing. It made him happy that he was able to afford to buy the formal clothes because they had delighted Remy so much. Still, he needed to watch his money. But if he kept getting decent tips and could sell some stories to Ihre Skandale, it could help change things even faster. The thought of leaving behind everything he knew and had grown up with was unnerving, but thrilling too. What would it be like to be a whole new person? Could he do it? Then he thought of Enki at the bar.

  If he can change from a horse’s ass, then so can I. I just have to work harder than ever.

  He thought again of Pietr.

  And not die.

  He wore his new suit when he rode his bicycle to the Grand Dark that night. The first play was the one he’d seen his last time in the theater, the tale of the murdered wife possessing her husband’s current wife to kill him. Remy had played the murdered bride last time, but tonight Lucie took over the role. She was a passable maniac, but nothing compared to Remy. Still, it was one of her first major roles and she attacked it with passion, and Largo had to admire her for that.

  The second play, The Trench Demon, had a similar theme, but its presentation was far more disturbing. The story was about a brave soldier who’d gone off to war in High Proszawa while his brother remained in the city. The brother had faked an injury to avoid war service and began an affair with the soldier’s wife. After his death in a plague bomb attack, the soldier’s ghost returned home to infect the adulterous couple with the disease that had killed him.

  Una spared the audience nothing.

  While the play ended in the soldier’s boudoir, it began on a gruesome battlefield filled with twisted bodies covered in stage blood. The deaths of the brother and wife were prolonged and especially hideous, even by Una’s standards. The flesh on their faces bubbled and smoked until it fell away, leaving just their charred, screaming skulls. Remy played the wronged soldier and Largo thought it was her most disturbing—and greatest—performance.

  The audience went wild at the end of the play and gave it a standing ovation. In the lobby, patrons playfully clawed at their faces and mimed convulsions as they waited for their coats and hats. Largo didn’t hear Una come up behind him.

  “What did you think?” she said excitedly.

  “I think you have a hit on your hands.”

  “I think so too. Remy was in particularly good form. Give her a kiss for me when you see her.”

  “I will,” said Largo.

  Before he could go backstage, Una added, “And go easy on her tonight. Tomorrow’s crowd will be even bigger. I’ll need her in good shape.”

  “I’ll see that she gets a good night’s sleep.”

  “Liar,” said Una happily as she moved into the crowd to see off some of the Grand Dark’s most important patrons.

  Largo tried to congratulate Lucie on her performance, but she was already in Baumann’s arms and kissing him furiously. Remy was exhausted, so he put his bicycle on the back of a Mara cab and took her home.

  They didn’t make it as far as the bedroom in her flat and ended up making love on the sofa in the living room. Afterward, she draped the covering over the cage in which her parakeet chirped quietly. Largo put her to bed and carefully laid out his new clothes on a chair. Remy’s eyes were already heavy when he crawled into bed with her.

  “I have a surprise for you,” he said. “Two, actually.”

  “How lovely. Tell me.”

  “I met some people from the carnival last night and they gave me tickets.”

  She smiled sleepily and said, “Wonderful. I love the carnival. We should go with Lucie and Baumann. The little fool is in love and he has delightful cocaine. What’s your other surprise?”

  “I met Baron Hellswarth today.”

  She turned to him and sat up on one elbow. “Uncle Rudy? Did you boys hit it off?”

  “Wait—Baron Hellswarth is your uncle? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” said Largo.

  Remy shrugged. “How much have you said about your family? Besides, we haven’t exactly had a lot of conversations about rifles and bombs.”

  “What I mean is, I had no idea you were related to the Hellswarth family.”

  “That’s how I met Herr Petersen and loads of other wealthy art patrons. I know oodles of important people,” she said sleepily. “Uncle Rudy helped me get this flat. But that’s not important. What did you two talk about?”

  Largo told her about the possibility of his getting an apprenticeship at the chimera laboratory. She kissed him when he was finished.

  “If I’d known you were going I could have made an introduction, but it’s not necessary now. You charmed him all by yourself.”

  Remy shivered and Largo thought about watching her convulse during the play. He said, “How have you been feeling lately? I was so worried about you the other night.”

  She put her hand on his chest. “I’m fine. Dr. Venohr came by just yesterday and pronounced me fit as a fiddle.”

  “Is that all?”

  “He gave me some silly pills. I have to take them twice a day.”

  “And did you take them?”

  She rolled onto her back and looked at the ceiling. “Cluck cluck, mother hen. No, I haven’t taken the second.”

  “I’ll get it for you. Where’s the bottle?”

  “On the nightstand.”

  “And some water too.”

  “Don’t fuss over me, Largo. You’re no fun when you’re like this.”

  He stopped at the bedroom door. “I tell you what. If you’re a good girl and take your pill, you can have a drop of morphia before you go to sleep.”

  Remy clapped her hands happily. “There’s my Largo. Hurry back.”

  He brought her the water and watched as she swallowed the pill. When she was done, he put a drop of morphia under each of their tongues. She fell back on her pillow with a blissful look on her face.

  She said, “You know, D
r. Venohr works for Uncle, too. He’s someone you should get to know better.”

  “What does he do?” said Largo.

  Remy laughed. “I don’t know. Some medical thing or other. We should all go out to dinner one night.”

  “Let’s do that,” said Largo eagerly, but Remy was already asleep.

  Even with the morphia, talking about Baron Hellswarth got him excited again so that he couldn’t sleep. He put on a robe that Remy had bought for him and went into the living room with his copy of Der Knochengarten. He read until his eyes got tired, but he knew that he still wouldn’t be able to sleep. He put the pulp on a table and looked around the room as if he were seeing it for the first time. On the mantel and some tables were small but expensive-looking decorations. An ivory statuette of a willowy foreign goddess. Small gold bookends. A jade vase. Largo wondered which of these the Baron might have given her for Christmas or her birthday. As his mind drifted on the morphia, a darker thought came to him. What if they’d come from some random admirer? And what if that admirer had found them in the Midden?

  He got up and went to examine the decorations. There was nothing special about the statuette or the bookends, but there were strange red flowers he hadn’t seen before in the jade vase. He leaned in to smell them but jerked his head back. The flowers were crawling with tiny black insects. He got a rag from the kitchen and used it to toss the flowers out of a window. A few insects crawled onto the rag, so he threw that out too.

  As tired as he was, Largo still couldn’t sleep. He tried to read more of the pulp, but his eyes wouldn’t focus. Instead, he went to the cage in which Remy’s parakeet slept and pulled off the night covering. He tapped on the cage a couple of times and whistled softly. The parakeet turned and something glinted in its eyes. Largo rubbed his temples and looked again.

  The parakeet is a Mara?

  How had he never seen it before? But sure enough, its lens eyes rotated and stared at him. Did Remy know the bird wasn’t real? She’d never mentioned it. But she’d never mentioned that her uncle was one of the most powerful men in Lower Proszawa either.

  He replaced the cover over the cage and a strange thought came to him. He wondered if it was possible for someone, somewhere, to see through the bird’s eyes. Largo knew that it was just a paranoid delusion brought on by reading Der Knochengarten so late at night, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.