Steam and Ink

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  He’d always known that one day he’d become a father.

  He just hadn’t expected to skip the first ten years of the child’s life. Now he had a ten-year-old on his hands and no idea what to do with him. How did one get to know one’s son when neither of them seemed to be very good at communication?

  He saw his own eyes in that little face. Saw his chin, his hair, his cheekbones. Leif had Maggie’s nose, but that was it.

  Leif was a Montgomery, and yet Austin didn’t know what the next step was.

  “Go out there, son,” his mother said from his side. She’d taken the afternoon to watch Leif when he got out of school so Austin could try to catch up at work. Harry was doing okay considering and hadn’t wanted Marie around hovering. A new grandchild had been just the ticket for the both of him.

  Funny how things happened.

  “I don’t know what to say to him, Mom,” Austin said softly. He’d never felt the need to lie to his mother as an adult. Sure, he’d been a dumb kid when he was growing up, but now that he was older, he wanted advice and comfort. He didn’t hide things.

  Other than what he felt for Sierra, but that was something he needed to process on his own.

  Eventually.

  “Go find out what his hobbies are. Find out his favorite color. Ask about his day. He finished his homework, but you can ask about it.” Marie cupped his face, and Austin sighed. “He’s a very bright boy, Austin. He smiles when he thinks no one is looking.”

  “I know. I’ve seen that.” Hadn’t he been watching? Hadn’t he been trying to figure out what to do?

  “I know, baby. You’re trying. This has thrown us all for a loop. I liked Maggie when you were dating her, though I didn’t know her well. It’s really sad that she’s gone.”

  Austin nodded. “I know. I don’t know how Leif is dealing with that.”

  Marie shook her head. “Well, thankfully, Sierra set up time with a counselor.”

  Austin sighed. “She said hers helped her, and frankly, though I don’t like telling strangers my feelings, if it helps him, then sure.”

  “Good for you, son. This is a blessing. I know it. The fact that we have a chance with him now is something we can’t take for granted. I’m just upset we lost ten years with him.”

  His mother’s mouth thinned, and Austin pinched his nose. They’d been over this before. No one, including Austin and Sierra, was pleased that Maggie had hidden him. In fact, Austin was fucking livid. But right then, yelling and storming around wasn’t going to help Leif.

  There had been no secret letter or notes to Austin in the case of Maggie’s death. There had been nothing but Leif’s last name and Austin’s on his birth certificate. The lack of answers raged in Austin to no end, but at this point, there was nothing he could do but move on and find a future with the son he’d just met.

  “I know you’re upset, Mom.”

  Marie let out a breath. “I’m sorry for bringing it up again. I’ll try to stop it, but I can’t right now. Go out on the porch with your son and get to know him. He’s not that scary, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t bite.”

  Austin cracked a grin then kissed his mom on the cheek. “I love you. Thank you for everything.”

  Marie smiled softly. “I love you too. Will Sierra be home soon?”

  Home. Sierra technically didn’t live there, but he’d gotten accustomed to her being there. God, he didn’t find it fair that he was throwing all of his on her shoulders. She’d lost a child of her own, and now she was essentially raising his with him—one that was the same age as her child would have been.

  It wasn’t fucking fair, and Austin wasn’t sure what he was going to do about it.

  “Should be,” he said absently.

  His mom studied his face, frowning. “See you soon, honey.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” he said again as he walked her out.

  He found himself watching Leif on the porch, his hands in his pockets just like his son’s.

  His son.

  He wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to saying that.

  “What are you doing out here?”

  Leif turned around, his eyes wide. “Just thinking.”

  Like pulling teeth, Austin thought, though he wasn’t much different. Like father, like son.

  Fuck.

  “About what?”

  Leif shrugged again and sank down into one of the deck chairs. “Things. How was work, Austin?”

  The kid called him Austin, not Dad, something they both probably weren’t ready for—not by a long shot.

  Austin shrugged much like Leif had. “Good, I guess.” The kid blinked and looked away. Ah, yeah, maybe he should share a bit more to get Leif to do the same. The kid was a human being, and Austin had interacted with plenty of those. Why was this so hard?

  “I had two consults today. That’s where I talk with clients about what they want.”

  Leif perked up and turned. “Really? Do you tattoo them right then?”

  Austin relaxed at Leif’s interest. Tattoos were something he could talk about. He might not look like the perfect dad with his sleeves, beard, and build, but tattoos weren’t taboo to him. Maybe he’d show Leif that too.

  “Sometimes. It depends on the design and timeframe. A huge design might take more than one sitting. Plus, I like for the people I work with to go home with something like that and think about it just in case. I don’t want to ink them and have them freak out that they made the wrong choice.”

  “Because tattoos are permanent.”

  Austin nodded, holding out his arm. “Yep. I can do cover-ups, and there’s tattoo removal if they really need it, but that hurts like a bit— It hurts a lot. Plus, you’re just scarring the tissue then, so it’s not really the same.”

  Leif studded Austin’s arm intently. “So you have it all tattooed?”

  “Yeah. Both arms. I did some of it. Maya did the rest. They’re called sleeves.”

  Leif looked up, his eyes wide. “You tattooed yourself.”

  Austin grinned. “Yeah. I can’t do big ones on my own because the pain gets to me in a way that I get a little tired, and most angles are too hard, but I like to know I have my own artwork on my body.”

  “That’s cool.” Leif held out a hesitant hand. “What’s this one? It’s the same thing on your sign.”

  Austin sucked in a breath. “It’s the Montgomery Iris. Wes and Storm’s company has the same logo. It’s our family logo or crest. All of us Montgomerys have the same tattoo, just in different places and in different colors sometimes.”

  “Really? Even Marie and Harry?”

  Austin grinned. “Even Marie and Harry.”

  “So what do you have to do to get one?” Leif asked, his gaze on Austin’s ink rather than his face.

  Austin swallowed hard. “Be family. And eighteen.”

  Leif looked up and grinned. “Do you think…”

  Austin sucked in a breath. “I think when you’re eighteen and if you want one, then sure. But not in a place that shows if you want to work in a place that doesn’t like tattoos. We might like them and have no problem with them, but some people judge, and I’d rather you not have to deal with that when you’re eighteen.”

  Leif blinked, his eyes wet. Austin knew his were the same. Must be allergies. “Only eight years then.”

  Holy shit. Only eight years. He’d lost so fucking much. Yeah, it sucked, and he shouldn’t blame the dead, but he did. Maggie had taken something precious from him for one reason or another. She’d put his name on the birth certificate so yeah, he could be traced eventually like he had been, but she’d kept his son from him. Maybe deep down she wanted him to know about Leif, but he didn’t know if that was the case. She’d hidden him. Most likely because she thought he was a freak, but right then, he didn’t care about the reason. He just cared about the fact he’d missed Leif’s birth, missed his first words, his first steps, his first day of school.

  He’d missed so much, and now he was missing more because they had
a long road to figure out how the two of them would work together as a unit.

  Life was short, and Austin didn’t want to lose any more time with his son.

  “Hey, you two, I brought dinner,” Sierra said from the doorway, a box of chicken in her hand.

  Austin stood and took the box out of her hands, leaning down to kiss her. “Thank you, Legs.”

  She grinned up at him then looked under his arm at Leif. “You hungry, Leif?”

  “Uh huh. Did you get the beans and rice? That’s my favorite.” He ducked his head and blushed.

  Hell, he was falling for his own kid.

  Austin looked into Sierra’s eyes, and he knew she was falling too.

  They needed to talk.

  Soon.

  “Yeah,” she said after clearing her throat. “I got the beans and rice. It’s my favorite part too.”

  “Mine three,” he added, noting how they were acting like a family.

  The three of them.

  He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, but he would take it one day at a time. It was all he could do.

  “Is he asleep?” Sierra asked, running her hands over her hair.

  Austin walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Leif had taken the room upstairs and across the hall, meaning it was the farthest from Austin’s first-floor master bedroom. It worked for now, and knowing what Austin wanted to do that night, he was grateful.

  “Yeah. He went right out. Apparently, he had a field day during gym so he was tired.”

  Sierra cocked her head to the side. “Did we know he had a field day?”

  Austin shook his head. “No, at least you and I didn’t. I don’t think Mom did either, or she would have mentioned it. Leif said it was a small one though, just during gym and not a whole-day thing like we used to have when we were kids.”

  She frowned. “If you’re sure then. That sounds like something we should have known, right?”

  Austin ran a hand over his face. “I honestly have no idea, but we know now, and I think he’s opening up enough that if he has one in the future, we’ll know.” At least he hoped so. At this point it was a gamble if he got Leif to open up about what was going on in his life. Their talk about tattoos and family on the porch, though, had been decent, better than most of the talks they usually had.

  Sierra stood next to the bed wearing one of his shirts and a pair of volleyball shorts. Shorts that made her legs look even sexier. His cock perked up at the sight, and he swallowed back a groan. It had been a long while since they’d made love. They’d been too afraid to do anything in the house with Leif around. Sure, it wasn’t a problem for most couples with kids in the house, but this was a first for him, and he didn’t want to fuck it up.

  As it was, he and Decker had quietly taken down the dungeon in the basement. It had been pretty easy considering Austin hadn’t had that much of a setup, but it was a little like saying goodbye to a part of him in the process. He couldn’t risk having a place Leif could easily find. What he and Sierra did in private wasn’t any of his business, but it was still irresponsible not to find a way to shield him from things he didn’t understand. In addition, nothing had been formally finalized when it came to Leif staying there. Yes, the kid was his blood, but the courts had to put their rubber stamp on it. People feared what they didn’t understand, and considering the reasons Maggie had left him, he wasn’t about to do anything that could disrupt Leif’s life yet again.

  “What’s going on in that mind of yours?” Sierra asked, walking to him slowly.

  He opened his arms, and she sank into him, her head resting on his chest. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

  Sierra pulled back, her brow furrowed. “I’ve been here the whole time, Austin. How could you miss me?”

  He let his hand fall through her hair. “You have been with me this whole time. I don’t know how to thank you.” He frowned. “Have I thanked you at all? Or have I just taken your help, guidance, and generally kick-ass attitude for granted?”

  She smiled softly then cupped his cheek. He turned into her palm, kissing it gently. “You’ve said thank you. You’ve also worked your butt off in an impossible situation. You have a son, Austin. That is so freaking scary, and yet you raised your chin and said, ‘okay, let’s do this.’ ”

  He shook his head. “I was only able to say that because you were there every step of the way. Sure, there was no other answer when it came to Leif. I wasn’t about to leave him in a group home when I had plenty of room here, but you did the same, Sierra. You put everything on hold and then changed your life for him. And for me. You accepted him without argument. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.”

  She sighed. “You had room in your heart for him too, Austin. I believe that even if you can’t see it yet.”

  Austin swallowed hard. He didn’t know what to do with his feelings when it came to Leif. It was all a little too surreal to contemplate.

  “I can see you’re not ready for that yet, and I get it. As for repaying me? You don’t have to. I get to watch you two work together and figure out what it means for him to be here. I’m getting everything I need.”

  God, she was perfect. She was giving up so much for him. They had started out just trying to have fun and see where their relationship went, and now she was practically living with him and playing house with Leif. She hadn’t asked for any of it, and Austin felt like he kept waiting for her to say it was enough and leave.

  He couldn’t think about that right then though.

  At the moment, he wanted to think about something else.

  He leaned down and brushed his lips against her. “Are you sure you’re getting everything you need?”

  Sierra blushed, the heat of her skin scorching his. “Austin…”

  “It’s been two weeks, baby. He’s across the house, and we can be quiet.” He raised a brow. “Well, I can at least be quiet. We might need to find a way to gag you to make sure you don’t scream too loudly.”

  “Oh really? Gagging me now?”

  He wasn’t a huge fan of ball gags because he liked to hear her say his name, but…no, not then.

  “I want to slide into your heat while my body covers you. I want to go slow and quiet, and make sure you feel every inch of me. What do you say, Legs?”

  Her eyes widened, her pupils dilating at his words alone.

  “Are you sure you can keep me quiet?”

  Austin groaned then pulled her closer. “We can try our hardest. I’m not about to stop making love to you because Leif is here. We’ll find a way.”

  “Then make love to me.”

  He slanted his mouth of hers, letting her sweet taste dance over his tongue. He walked her backward toward the bed, his hands in her hair, on her face, his mouth on hers. She moaned into his mouth, and he nipped her lip.

  “Quiet,” he whispered.

  Her eyes brightened. “You taste so good though.” Her hand cupped his dick, and he groaned.

  “Quiet,” she whispered.

  He snorted then stood back before stripping her quickly. She gasped, apparently surprised he could move so fast.

  “Get on the bed and stay on your back.”

  She did so, her gaze on his. Her pink-tipped nipples hardened, and he palmed his erection through his jeans.

  “Spread your legs.”

  When she did, he held back another groan. “You’re wet for me, baby,” he whispered. “So fucking wet. You want me to eat you out before I sink my cock into you? Will that help the ache?”

  She nodded, biting her lip.

  Austin quickly shucked his clothes then got on the bed. He wrapped her legs around his neck and licked her pussy in one long swipe.

  When he heard a muffled scream, he looked up to see a pillow over her face. Well, that was one way to be quiet. He went back to his feast, nibbling and sucking on her lower lips and clit. She rocked into his face, moaning softly as he increased pressure on her clit. When he hummed against her at the same time he rimmed her ass
with his finger, she came.

  Hard.

  “My Sierra likes it when I play with her ass?” he asked, licking her taste off his lips.

  She moved the pillow from her face and nodded. “Yes. I like anal sex. Sue me. We can do that later though. Please put that cock in me.”

  He raised a brow at her orders. Tonight was different with them, and they both knew it. They weren’t a Dom and a sub. They were Austin and Sierra making love. That was their kink, and Austin counted himself lucky he’d found someone who felt the same.

  “I’m going to fuck that ass later then, Legs. Now let me get a condom first so I can make love to you.”

  She gripped his wrist and shook her head. “No condom. Not ever again. I’m on birth control, and we both got tested. I want you in me.”

  He held back a groan and crushed his lips to hers. “I can’t wait to be bare in you again, baby. I know we did it without one before, but this time it’s for keeps. Got me?”

  “Then be in me.”

  He positioned himself at her entrance, keeping his gaze on hers. As he pushed in, her mouth opened on a silent gasp. He slowly rocked into her, inch by inch until his balls rested against her ass and he could feel every sweet inch of her around his dick.

  Austin swallowed hard, his arms shaking. “You feel so fucking good, baby,” he whispered.

  “I…I…” She blinked up at him then ran her hands up his back. “Move. I want to feel all of you.”

  He nodded then pulled out before slowly thrusting back in. They kept their gazes on one another as he made slow love to his woman, the one he loved. When they came together, they whispered each other’s names, their bodies shaking.

  He’d known what she was about to say before she’d told him to move. Just as he’d almost said it as well. There was a reason he wasn’t saying it yet, but he couldn’t get a hold on it. He loved Sierra Elder, but now that things had changed, he wasn’t sure it would last.

  His heart did a funny lurch thing, and he kissed Sierra softly, trying to get the sting to go away. He needed her more than anything, but Austin wasn’t sure she needed him as much.

  That scared him more than the thought of forever.