Merry Me

by Amanda Siegrist

  They were almost a true family. And she wouldn't change a thing.

  Chapter 16

  Elliot rubbed his eyes one more time before grinning at Laura, who squealed in delight at all the presents under the tree.

  "Wow! Which one first? Which one first?" Laura started to pick up a present, lightly shook it, then moved to the next one.

  "Just pick one and start, sweetheart." Lynn sat down next to Elliot on the couch, leaning into him as he wrapped his arms around her.

  She moved her lips to his ear. "Where did those extra presents come from?"

  He snatched a light kiss from her lips, then whispered back, "Santa."

  She chuckled without a hint of irritation mingled in.

  He hadn't known if she would get mad, but wanted to add to the joy of Santa coming. Thankfully, she didn't appear angry at him for adding three more presents under the tree. He had to sneak out in the middle of the night to add those presents to the pile. It hadn't been easy creeping out of bed without waking her up.

  She reached for his hand, holding on to him like a lifeline. That's what he wanted. To be there for her. To cherish her. Cherish Laura. Sometimes, especially in moments like this, it felt like everything was too good to be true. He'd never stop making her feel like a queen, like she was the only thing that mattered in the world. Because that's exactly how he felt. She was his everything.

  He swore she was slipping away, especially when the worry still lingered in the depths of her eyes as she grabbed her robe hanging near her closet right before they joined Laura in the living room. He really had to find out what was bothering her.

  "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It's the monkey, Mom. The monkey!" Laura started hopping in her spot as she tore off the rest of the wrapping paper to reveal the talking monkey that Laura couldn’t get enough of when they were in Wacky Wowza's.

  "Keep opening more. You can play with everything when you're done. I want to see what else you got." Lynn laughed as Laura put on a brief pouty face that she couldn't just sit and play with the monkey, then grabbed another present to tear open.

  Before long, Laura had opened every gift with eager excitement. She received the monkey, a monkey quilt, a CD from her favorite boy band, a makeup kit she had eyed in Wacky Wowza's, and the monkey watch Lynn had bought from the zoo. Those gifts came from Lynn.

  Elliot gave her a small box that contained various card games, a sketchpad with colored pencils, and a gorgeous shirt that Laura had gushed over when they had been in Wacky Wowza's together. Each gift fit Laura to the T. He had taken the time to buy gifts that he knew Laura would enjoy. He had paid attention to everything Laura always said or did. He not only had to show Lynn how much he loved her, he had to let Laura know as well.

  "Oh, wait. I have something for you guys." Laura jumped up from her spot, running to her room.

  She came back with two presents wrapped somewhat messy. Globs of tape were slathered on one side where Laura probably got the tape stuck and decided just to leave it there. He couldn't help but smile at the cuteness of both gifts.

  She handed one to Lynn, then the other to Elliot. "I hope you like them. I made them."

  "You go first." Elliot nudged Lynn's shoulder. He needed a moment to regain his composure. He had the sudden need to shed a tear. A gift from Laura was unexpected. And to think she made him something, hit him straight to the heart.

  Lynn carefully unwrapped her present, taking her time. It must have started to annoy Laura because she grabbed part of the present and yanked on the paper. "You're supposed to do it fast, Mom. Not like a snail."

  Lynn laughed as she helped tear the rest off. She tossed the paper to the floor, then carefully took the lid off the box. She pulled out the tissue paper and slowly revealed a beautiful butterfly made from clay. Laura had painted the center of the butterfly white, with the wings many different colors and tiny holes sprinkled around each wing.

  "Do you like it? It's to hold your earrings. I made it in art class at school." Laura beamed with the brightest smile yet of the day.

  "Like it? I love it. I love the colors. Thank you, sweetheart." Lynn hugged Laura tightly, then turned to Elliot. "Your turn."

  His smile never wavered as he unwrapped his gift much faster than Lynn had. He dug through the tissue paper until he came across his clay figure. No words came. His smile morphed into a serious face as emotion clogged his throat.

  "Do you like it, Elliot?" Laura asked softly.

  Elliot cleared his throat as he stared at the figure of a baseball player holding a bat, poised in position to swing with vigor. He flipped it over to see the number 15 on the back of the jersey and smiled. Laura must've figured out that was his jersey number when he played as a teenager.

  "It's the best present I've ever gotten. And you made it. That makes it even better." Elliot opened his arms for a hug as Laura wrapped her tiny body around his chest. "Thank you so much, Laura. You're the sweetest girl."

  She sat back on the floor to play with her gifts, then looked over at Lynn. "I'm hungry, Mom."

  "Breakfast coming right up." Lynn left the living room to make pancakes, while Elliot stayed on the couch.

  He held the baseball figure in his hands, touched beyond words that Laura gave such a thoughtful gift. How had Laura known it would make him feel good? The baseball player was even painted in blue and red, the same colors his team wore when he was in high school. She thought of every last detail when she made it.

  Every year his mother would buy him something baseball-like. It became such a tradition growing up that one year, when he was ten, he couldn't hide his disappointment when she didn't. His mom had never forgotten after that. It made him, for the first time since his mother passed away, feel a little closer to her.

  "Elliot?" Laura said softly, standing next to him.

  He glanced up from the figure. Her sweet smile melted his heart. "Yeah, my princess, what's the matter?"

  "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You look sad. You don't like my gift?"

  "I love your gift. It reminds me of my mother, and that's one of the sweetest things you could've done. I miss her. Maybe that's why I look sad because it'd be nice if she were here."

  "So I did good?" Laura asked brightly, wringing her hands nervously.

  "You did wonderful. I can't wait to add this to my mantel in the living room. You can even help me pick out the perfect spot."

  "Awesome!" Laura twirled around to resume her spot on the carpet by her toys when she turned back toward him. "I'm really glad Santa gave me the Christmas present I asked him for."

  "Yeah, he's a smart guy. What present did he get right?" He wanted to tell Lynn to see her face light up with satisfaction.

  "The perfect man for my mom. I asked Santa to find someone who would take care of my mom and make her happy. And right before Christmas, she met you."

  Laura jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. "You're part of our family now, Elliot, right? You won't ever leave. Because if you do, I think my mom would be very sad."

  Elliot squeezed her back, words almost failing him—again. "I'll never leave. I love you and your mom too much to leave."

  Laura let go, her eyes wide with happiness. "Really?"

  "Yes, but you have to keep quiet," Elliot said, putting a finger to his lips. "I haven't told your mom yet. It's a surprise. I have something really special for her at my house."

  "My lips are zipped." Laura twisted her fingers across her lips as if she was turning a key to lock something. "I love you, too, Elliot."

  She went back to her toys on the carpet, barely registering when Elliot stood up slowly and walked out of the living room. His steps probably looked steady as he walked, but he felt far from steady. He had the approval and love from Laura. What a shock! And on Christmas morning that felt merry, for the first time in a long time.

  Now he just needed to have the love from Lynn as well.

  His mouth curled with delight as Lynn swayed her hips to the Christmas music softly
playing in the background as she prepared the pancakes. He loved watching her cook. He loved everything about her.

  He planned to tell her later at his house. The perfect present waited patiently in his closet for her to open. His hands turned clammy as his heart started to pound. Those three little words played over and over on repeat. They fell out easily enough when he said it to Laura. Really easy, in fact. It shouldn’t be too difficult with Lynn. For some reason, he was afraid the words would stall in his throat. He had to know what was bothering her. Yet, he didn't want to ruin such a beautiful morning.

  He slowly approached her and wrapped her up as if he were afraid she would float away. "I could watch you all day in the kitchen. You make it impossible to resist you when you dance to the music like you do."

  Lynn leaned back, sinking further into his embrace. "I like it when you can't resist me."

  He kissed her neck, keeping it light, so he didn't suddenly pick her up and whisk her away to the bedroom. "I can't wait to take you to my house."

  "Yeah. Why?"

  "I have a present for you. I really want to give it to you now."

  She turned around, cupping his cheeks. "I hope you didn't spend a lot. Stop spoiling me."

  He kissed her lips. "I like spoiling you. It's never going to change. Let's eat, then head to my house."

  "Are you really that impatient?" she asked with a laugh.

  He grinned, grabbing another kiss. More like terrified. Would she like his present or kick him to the curb?

  "I had no idea that Laura made you a gift. You really liked it, didn't you?"

  "I love it." He kissed the top of her nose, then turned her back around to the stove, planting another soft kiss to her neck. "Chop, chop, we have a big day ahead of us."

  She picked up her spatula, playfully swinging toward him. "Leave me be then, mister. No more distracting kisses."

  He winked at her and walked out of the kitchen. Nothing but smiles on her face. Not even a trace of her worry. Odd. Why did he always see the worry when they were in her bedroom?

  ***

  "How is it you're cooking when it's our house?" Gregory asked Lynn as she dug through the cupboard looking for a certain spice.

  "What can I say? I enjoy cooking. And I didn’t really give you much of a choice. Gabby made lunch, which was delicious, by the way. Now I want to make supper." Lynn tilted her head as she smiled sweetly at him. "I really do enjoy cooking."

  "I know better than to argue with a beautiful woman. I moved the car out of the garage. Gabby and I are going to take Laura to the garage so she can ride her bike. I don't want her to freeze outside or take a nasty spill because some snow is still covering the sidewalk."

  Her face dipped slightly. "Her arm…"

  "I'll keep her safe. Don’t you worry about a thing."

  Lynn chuckled. "It's a mother's job to worry. She really loves that new bike. Both you and Elliot spoiled her rotten. You guys really shouldn't have."

  Gregory stepped closer to her, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. "I don't think that's going to change. Laura likes to call me grandpa. I hope that didn't make you mad."

  "It made me want to cry, actually. She doesn't know her real grandparents. That's sad. I hope you're not mad."

  He laughed heartily. "Nonsense. I love hearing it. I've been waiting forever for Elliot to settle down and give me some grandchildren. Lucky me, I don't have to wait nine months for one. I have one sitting in the living room right now. Doesn't get any better than that."

  Lynn's eyes widen.

  "Was that too forward? Elliot's always telling me to knock it off. You both just feel like family already."

  "It's fine, Gregory. It's been one of the best Christmases I've ever had."

  "And you've given me the best Christmas present ever. The light back in Elliot's eyes. I've missed my son." He kissed her cheek, then left her to finish preparing their supper.

  He walked into the living room and saw Elliot pacing in the hallway. Laura and Gabby appeared oblivious to his obvious discomfort as they played a game on the floor. He made his way down the hallway.

  "What's the matter, son?"

  "What's Lynn doing?" Elliot ran a hand through his hair as he continued his small pacing.

  "Cooking."

  "I have one more present for her. I'm not sure I can give it to her. What happens if she hates me for it and walks out?"

  Gregory still looked confused. "I think you just need to stop worrying. How many times do I have to tell you that you worry too much?"

  "I have to give her the present, Dad. I added a few things to it, though."

  "What are you talking about?"

  Elliot stopped pacing, glaring with frustration. "The present, Dad. The one that brought us together."

  "Oh," Gregory said slowly. "Why do you even need to go there?"

  "We talked about this. I'm not keeping it from her anymore."

  "Right. Well, good luck. We're going biking in the garage." Gregory walked away before Elliot could say anything else.

  ***

  Elliot stood quietly in the hallway as his dad rounded up Laura and Gabby and vanished from his sight as they walked to the garage door. He took a deep breath before he made his way to the kitchen where Lynn stood on her tiptoes digging in the cupboard.

  "Need help?"

  Lynn glanced at him. "I've been digging in here for ages it seems like. Do you guys have chili powder?"

  "Yeah, I'm pretty sure we do. I thought we were having chicken."

  She smiled at him. "We are."

  "Chili powder, hmm. What else is going on the chicken?"

  "Wouldn't you like to know?" She turned back toward the cupboard as she laughed.

  "Oh, some secret recipe, huh?"

  "Yep, can't divulge my secret."

  The pounding in his heart increased as he ran a hand through his hair. No more secrets. He couldn't take it anymore. Now was his chance. "I have one more present for you. It's been my secret for a while and I want to give it to you finally."

  She turned around slowly, a frown appearing as she looked at him. "Elliot, you've given me so much. I don't need another present."

  He walked over to her and grabbed her hand gently. "Last one, I promise. I just hope you like it and don't hate me for it."

  She looked confused now, but laughed. It spilled from her lips, yet the laughter never reached her eyes. "Why would I hate you?"

  "Come on." He pulled her hand to follow him to the bedroom.

  When they walked in, he made her sit on the bed. He closed and locked the bedroom door, then went to his closet. He reached to the top shelf and removed the gift that had been hiding behind some shoeboxes.

  Moment of truth. This is where his life turned into glorious bliss or pure hell. He blew out a breath and turned around. Could she see how badly his hands were shaking?

  Lynn's eyes zoomed straight to the present. The same one she wrapped two weeks ago with wrapping paper she used to wrap all of her gifts with. The same one she had delicately tied with a red ribbon glistening with white snowflakes, just the way she tied all things. Like her apron.

  "Elliot, is that my gift I gave to the church?" Her voice sounded unnatural.

  "Yes."

  She finally looked at him. "Did you know it was mine?"

  "Yes."

  He started to take a step toward her, stopping abruptly when the next words left her mouth.

  "How in the hell did you get that? How long have you had it?"

  Shit! He was losing her. Pure hell was making its way to his heart. He had no idea where to begin.

  Chapter 17

  Elliot slowly walked to the bed as Lynn continued to stare at the gift with a blank expression. Deep silence filled the room. She had sounded mad when she demanded to know how he acquired the present, yet no anger had reached her beautiful face. Nothing had, really. Just complete emptiness. His heart plummeted to the floor, his hope right along with it.

  He sat next to her and fiddl
ed with the present. "I don't know where to start, but it's not what you think." He glanced at her. Still no emotion to give him any clues whether he'd survive this. "Not that I really know what you're thinking right now."

  "You know why I'm really not a fan of Christmas. I came home one day for lunch and I saw this present sitting on the porch. It confused the hell out of me when I didn't see a name on it, but the words touched my heart."

  Elliot withdrew the envelope from underneath the ribbon. There could be no mistaking the shakes in his hand now. Regardless of that, and the horrible silence from her, he read the card.

  "May your holidays be ever bright. May your wishes be ever right. May the spirit of Christmas fill you with love and comfort until the end of night."

  He gazed at her with longing in his eyes. So much longing. He needed her to say something. Anything. Yet, she remained silent as she stared at the card in his hand. "I don't know what compelled me, but I opened the gift. When I found a pair of Christmas socks and some money inside, it confused me further. I asked my dad about it. He had no clue, but he said it must've been meant for me. I truly believe that now."

  Finally, she lifted her eyes, a trace of passion lingering in the depths. Hope swelled for the first time. "My dad said it must've been donated to the church for a family in need. I insisted I didn't need anything. He said that maybe I was in need of a lot of things and told me to figure out who donated the gift if I was so hell-bent on returning it. I searched every church in the surrounding area until I came across Mason and Father Preston."

  "He told you it was from me?" Lynn whispered as her hands clenched tightly.

  Elliot gave a strangled laugh. "He recognized your gift, but refused to tell me who it was from. I didn't care at the time. I tried to make him take it back and he simply wouldn't listen to me. Then he asked if I would drop off the donation box at the diner. That's where I met you."

  He gripped the present in one hand. Her eyes started to sparkle. At last, her emotion was shining through. Just not the kind he wanted to see. More sadness than passion. How in the hell did he reverse that?