Holding On

by Jill Sanders

  When the engine roared to life, something settled deep inside him and he lost himself to the hum of the beast as it tore out tree stumps and roots.

  The trailer had sat closer to the main road, but he wanted his log cabin home to be nestled down by the brook that ran through their land, down in the trees, in the thick of everything. He’d have a large garage up where the trailer used to sit, maybe even a barn for the horses he planned on having. His mother’s horse was pregnant and due to drop her colt any day. He planned on convincing her to let him take the animal for his own. He also wanted a chicken coop, maybe even some pigs as well.

  When his phone vibrated in his pocket, he ignored it. Hell, he could take a day off once in a while. After all, he was the boss.

  When his phone buzzed for the third time in half an hour, he shut the engine off and answered his brother’s call.

  “What?” he barked out.

  “Need some help?” He heard a horn honk behind him and glanced over. Tyler and Trent stood leaning against his truck. Both men were dressed to work in the dirt and mud and smiling over at him.

  “Jump in, but if you think I’m getting out of Bessy…”

  Tyler laughed. “She’s all yours.” His brother slapped Trent on the shoulder. “Sorry, he’s got your woman for the day.”

  Trey could hear Trent reply, “Damn it” but then he flipped the key and the engine drowned out the rest of his brother’s words.

  They worked until lunch when Dylan delivered meals from the Dancing Moose. He hadn’t called her, hadn’t told her where he was or what he was up to. His brothers must have done it at some point. He felt bad but remained silent about it, since he was still stewing and didn’t want her to get any of the anger. She didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her. That fact was becoming more apparent the longer they were together. She aced every exam, every class she was in without even really trying. He’d worked harder than she had and had barely gotten a pass in the two classes he’d taken. Hell, she’d had to help him through most of it, talking to him softly. He felt like a damn kid infatuated with his teacher.

  Sitting across from her on the picnic table he’d built, he felt guilty for not including her in his plans. After all, when he imagined the log cabin home by the brook, he imagined her in it with him.

  Chapter 16

  Dylan knew something had changed with Trey. She’d heard about the trailer being blown up. After all, she was the one who had to fill in and file the insurance reports. She didn’t have all the information yet, but Tony had stopped by and given her a copy of the police report and told her that Carl hadn’t been found yet. He assured her they had an APB out on him, and that someone would be watching the office building until he was in custody.

  She’d found out that the family wasn’t pressing charges from Tony, and that they had plans to have him committed instead.

  As she drove away from Trey’s property and headed back to the office, she realized Trey had barely said two words to her over lunch. She’d seen his pissed-off look before, but this was something entirely new, and she feared it could be the beginning of the end for them.

  After all, why did he, recently, have a new desire to clear his land? Sure, he’d worked on it occasionally in the past, but in the past few days, he’d spent most of his free time working on it. Since he’d moved in with her, he’d mentioned starting on the construction of his new house at least a few times. She’d seen the plans to the log cabin kit home he’d ordered. It was a lot like his brother’s place. But ever since the fiasco with Brent last night, Trey’d had a fire under him to get working on it now. Was that his way of telling her that he wanted out?

  She worried about it the rest of the day. When evening came, she wasn’t surprised at all to get a text from him saying that he was going to continue working and would be home late.

  When she asked if she could bring him dinner, he replied that his mother had already dropped something off for them. She had a week before her new classes would open to her online, so she spent her evening cleaning the house and then made herself a grilled cheese sandwich and snuggled with Dopey on the window seat in the library to read a book.

  She must have fallen asleep, and when she heard a door open and close, she jolted. Frowning, she nudged the sleeping dog off her lap and glanced down the hallway.

  When she realized it had been the front door opening, she frowned. Trey never used the front door. It took a few seconds for the dark figure moving towards the stairs to register in her mind.

  Her entire body tensed and tingled with fear. She sat there, almost in shock, as the figure ascended the stairs.

  When she heard the top stair creak under a man’s weight, she wrapped the throw blanket around Dopey, who whined, picked him up, and rushed out the front door.

  She hadn’t expected to come face-to-face with another dark figure, who had been standing on the front porch, watching the road as he smoked.

  She must have gasped because the man turned around, his dark mask raised and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. She saw his face completely and for a moment thought to berate him, but then he moved towards her, darkness in his eyes and she knew she had to do something.

  Tossing the blanket off Dopey, she held him out like a weapon. The dog weighed close to twenty pounds, and to her relief, showed his teeth and started growling at the man.

  He backed up a step, his hands out as he started muttering. She didn’t need any further encouragement to escape and sprinted down the stairs, holding Dopey under her arms as he continued to bark and growl.

  At the end of the block, she slowed down and set the heavy dog on the ground next to her. Glancing around, she realized she’d forgotten her phone inside. Encouraging Dopey to follow her, she knocked on the first door with a porch light on. When an older woman answered, she rushed to tell her story.

  “Don’t worry, honey, come on in. We’ll give Mike a call.”

  Less than five minutes later, the patrol car pulled up out front. The woman had lent her a leash for Dopey, and the two of them walked out to meet Mike.

  “I sent the guys over to the house to check it. We’ll wait here until we get the all-clear call.” He sighed and waved to Mrs. Anderson, the woman who lived there. “Thanks!”

  She turned and smiled at the older woman who’d helped her. She had given her some cookies and Dopey a treat while they waited.

  She walked back to the patrol car with Mike and it was no more than a few minutes before his radio came to life.

  “All clear,” someone said.

  Mike turned to her. “Hop in, I’ll drive you back. You must be freezing.” He nodded to her bare feet.

  She nodded and told Dopey to get in, then followed him and sat in the back of the car. When they arrived, she was surprised to see Trey’s truck parked beside two other patrol cars.

  When she stepped out, he rushed over and gathered her in his arms.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, burying his face in her hair. She felt him shaking and before she could respond, he was gathering her up in his arms. Dopey’s leash tugged on her hand as the dog raced around Trey’s legs.

  “I’m fine,” she said several times. “Really,” she added when Trey set her down inside on the sofa.

  “What happened?” he asked, as Mike stepped inside.

  Her eyes traveled between them. “I only saw one of them.” She took a deep breath. “It was Jake. He was on the front porch, acting like he was watching out.”

  “Jake?” Trey frowned.

  “I don’t know his last name. He’s hung around Brent before. He’s dropped him off from work a few times before.”

  “Jake Williams?” Trey turned to Mike, who nodded quickly.

  Just then, her brother walked in, followed by Tony.

  “Looks like he was fast asleep in the apartment over the garage. He claims to have not heard anything,” Tony added.

  “What’s going on?” Brent looked around.

  “Someone broke into the ho
use and had your sister running barefooted for her life down the street.” Trey’s eyes narrowed as he approached her brother.

  “What?” Brent looked over at her, and a hint of worry flashed quickly behind his eyes. “Who was it?”

  “Jake,” she answered.

  She was shocked when her brother began to laugh.

  “He told me he’d get me. I just figured he knew I lived over the garage.” Her brother relaxed and held up his hands. “It’s all a mistake, I’ll call him…” He pulled out his phone.

  “Breaking and entering is not a mistake,” Mike said, stepping forward.

  Brent held up a hand to the officer. “Yo,” Brent said into the phone. “The cops are here, saying you broke in?” He listened for a while, then laughed. “That’s what I thought. I live over the garage, stupid.” He laughed again after listening. “Yeah, come on over.” He hung up and turned to them. “They were coming to get me for Seth’s stag party.”

  “Seth Williams?” Mike asked.

  “Yeah, he’s getting married this weekend, and Jake’s throwing him a huge stag party. They didn’t tell us when or where it would be, only to be ready sometime this week. They were kidnapping guests on the invite list,” he said, using air quotes when he said kidnapping. “They had joked about doing that, but I didn’t think they really would. I’m heading up to get ready.” He didn’t even turn his eyes towards her to see if she was okay. Instead, he turned to Mike. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you have a few more calls about it tonight.” He laughed as he left.

  Just then, all three of the officers’ radios squawked to life and a woman’s voice came over the line. “We have a 207a at 202 Stine Road.”

  Mike sighed loudly. “Damn it, those brothers are worse than you lot.” He waved Tony and the other officer out of the house.

  Trey turned his eyes towards her. “I may have to kill your brother,” he said softly as he once more gathered her into his arms as the front door shut.

  “You won’t get a chance,” she replied. “I’m first.” She leaned back. “I’m thinking of asking him to find his own place. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this sort of thing.”

  “Has something like this happened before?” he asked, and she could see worry in his eyes.

  “No, just the whole Darla thing. I’d hoped that since that fiasco had run its course I’d have some peace.”

  “My god.” He leaned his forehead on hers. “I’m still shaking. When I drove up and saw the flashing lights…” He reached up and cupped her face. “I should have been here.” He kissed her gently. Suddenly, without warning, tears streamed down her face.

  “I’m sorry.” She wiped at them.

  Trey shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He kissed her softly again. Something deep down inside her popped. If this was close to the end, she at least wanted this moment, this last moment, to be with him, to take what she wanted. She’d make it last a lifetime if she had to, but for now, she just needed him.

  Her fingers dug into his hair, holding him to her lips. She pushed his shoulders until he leaned back against the sofa, then she straddled his hips and took the kiss deeper.

  She heard him groan as his fingers fumbled to nudge her shirt up.

  “Now,” she cried out as she tugged his shirt over his head. She sunk her teeth into his shoulder and lapped at the little red mark she’d left as she reached for his jeans. She wanted to mark him like he’d marked her. He’d ruined her for every other man. She would never feel the way she did about him, never again.

  “Dylan.” It was a warning, but she didn’t care. She needed him, now, raw, hard, and more desperately than she’d needed anything in her life. When she gripped him, he jerked in her hand and suddenly she was falling as they rolled to the floor.

  Clothes were tossed aside. She scraped her nails and teeth across every inch of his exposed skin as he lapped her up. The roughness of his unshaved face scraped her tender skin, sending shivers racing through her entire body.

  Moans and demands echoed in her head as he filled her, giving her exactly what she’d never expected she’d ever get in life.

  Even through the roughness, his gentleness broke through the stronghold she’d placed around her heart, and as they reached the peak together, she told him how she felt.

  * * *

  Hearing Dylan say she loved him before he’d gotten the chance to say it himself made him smile.

  “You beat me to it,” he said once his breathing had settled.

  They were in a heap on the carpet in front of the dying fire. He was pretty sure he had a few bite marks and rug burns in places he hadn’t thought possible. Yet it felt wonderful. He wanted to do it all again in about half an hour after he’d had a chance to recover fully.

  She nudged him until he rolled slightly so he could look down at her.

  “I’ve never said it before.” Her eyes narrowed. “You aren’t one of those guys that goes around telling every woman he’s with that he loves her, are you?”

  He chuckled. “No.” He kissed her quickly. “And, technically, I still haven’t told someone yet.” He settled beside her, resting his head in his hand as he looked down at her, his free hand running slowly over her naked body. His eyes roamed over her skin as the firelight danced over her skin and tattoos. “Hmmm,” he sighed. His fingers traced one of the tattoos on her shoulder. This one was a small delicate flower with a ladybug crawling out of the soft petals. His eyes returned to her darker ones. “I never thought I’d find someone like you, someone smart, sexy, strong.” He started feeling like a fool.

  She smiled. “Go on,” she encouraged him.

  He chuckled slightly and tried to think of better words and finally came up with something he knew she’d appreciate.

  “You’re like a cross between Wonder Woman and Black Widow, with the mind of Marie Curie and…” He couldn’t think of another example. Then he smiled. “Seven of Nine.”

  She chuckled. “Star Trek fan. Now I know I’m in love with you.”

  His smile dropped. “I’m crazy for you. From the moment I saw you, I lost my heart to you. It’s yours.” He leaned in and kissed her. “I love you.”

  She rolled over quickly and straddled him, their lips joined as she started moving over him. He no longer needed time to recover, not when she could build his needs up again so easily.

  This time, instead of speed, they let the passion between them fuel their movements. Slowly they moved together, discovering new pleasures, new desires that had changed with the admission of their feelings. He’d never experienced anything equal to its power.

  They fell asleep in each other’s arms and slept until the chill woke him. Then he carried her up the stairs and cradled her in his arms as they slept.

  The ringing of her cell phone woke them a few hours later.

  “Damn it.” She frowned down at the number. “Hello?” she answered. He listened as she talked briefly to someone. “I’ll be there…” She glanced over at him. “No, wait.” She bit her lip. “No, I won’t.” She smiled at him. “I think he can deal this time on his own.” She listened then smiled. “Thanks.” She hung up.

  “Well?” He shifted to get a better look at her.

  “Seems like the stag party was an enormous success. Brent’s down in the holding cell on battery charges. Apparently, they decided the best way to end the party was to have their own version of Fight Club.”

  He groaned and sighed loudly. “And?”

  Half a dozen guys are in the drunk tank. The other half are being booked.”

  “Your brother?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Can find his own way out of the mess.” She snuggled back into his arms. “I’m done bailing him out.”

  He smiled and brushed a hand down her hair.

  “Why should I be there for him, when he hasn’t been there for me?” she asked.

  “Because you’re a better person than he is,” he answered.

  “I know. Carol says he’ll be
released in the morning with the rest of the drunk ones. He’ll have to go to court, but…” She sighed. “There’s no reason for me to go down there and sit in an uncomfortable chair the rest of the night waiting for him. He can find his own ride home in the morning.”

  He chuckled. “I think you’ve had two major insights tonight.”

  “Oh?” She glanced up at him. “What was the first one?”

  He chuckled and kissed her. “You finally figured out that you love me.”

  She smiled. “I’ve known it for weeks, I just didn’t think you felt the same way.” Her smile fell away. “Actually, after yesterday, I was thinking you wanted to break things off with me.”

  “Why?” He shifted so he could see her better.

  “You acted so… remote yesterday.”

  He nodded. “I’m sorry, I had… things on my mind.”

  “About your uncle?”

  “No, I was trying to figure out how to convince you to move in with me once the house is done.” A look of surprise crossed her eyes.

  “You want… me to move into your new house?”

  “Yes,” he said, his hand still running through her hair.

  “As in…” She sat up slightly and his eyes went to where the sheet fell away, exposing her skin. She tucked her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “A permanent thing?”

  He took her hands. “As permanent as it gets.” He frowned. “God, that sounds awful.”

  She laughed. “You can make it sound better tonight when you take me out for dinner.” She leaned in and kissed him. “I can give you my answer then.” She lay back down, turning her back to him.

  “Hey.” He frowned.

  “Go back to sleep.” She chuckled.

  He pulled her close, her body pressed against his. “I don’t think I can, now.” He wiggled her body against him and she moaned with pleasure.

  “No, I suppose not.” She shifted.

  He moved her slightly, using his hand against her inner thigh to spread her as he slid slowly into her heat.