An Alpha's Choice

by Carrie Ann Ryan

Maddox rolled his eyes. “Oh, you were that. We hadn’t adopted Gina or Mark or even Parker and Charlotte into the family yet, so you were the first grandchild. Everyone doted on you and wanted to watch you when Kade took Mel out on that getaway they so desperately needed. I don’t even know why I offered, I think most people were too busy with things that couldn’t be put aside.” He paused, his eyes going dark. “I wasn’t in the best place then. I didn’t have Ellie, and I was fighting with North.” Maddox’s twin. “But I came over to your parents’ home and watched you. You destroyed most of the house since I apparently had forgotten what it was like to watch a baby. Considering I helped raise Cailin, I don’t know why I’d forgotten. She was even more of a terror.”

  Finn and Drake laughed, even as they looked over their shoulders. Cailin was far younger than her six brothers and might be a terror, but she would kick their asses if she heard them say it.

  “So we hung out, and you got jam and who knows what else all over me. But when I wanted to recede to the darkness, you didn’t let me.” Maddox set his jaw. “You put your hand on my cheek and met my gaze. In that moment, I couldn’t hide from who I was, what I was becoming. If you hadn’t been set on that path you speak of, I would have thought you were destined to work by my side.” He met Finn’s eyes. “The goddess has surprised us before.”

  That was an understatement.

  Finn let out a shaky breath. “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because despite what the moon goddess gave you when you were three, you are not only the Heir. You are a man as well, one who is so intuitive you could have been the Omega or any other power within the Pack. Hell, you could have been a fantastic soldier without a power with the way you can see into others without much thought.”

  “It’s true,” Drake said quietly. “I can feel it in the bonds.” His younger brother grimaced. “I try not to look too hard at the bonds because some things are private, and if I dive too deep, I might not ever come out. But when I see yours, I see the strength we need as our leader, but also the compassion it takes to be more.”

  Finn cleared his throat, not knowing what to say.

  “And sometimes I feel as though the bond isn’t as strong as the others,” Drake said then clamped his mouth shut.

  Finn blinked. “What does that mean?”

  Maddox met Drake’s eyes and shook his head.

  “What? Don’t keep secrets.”

  Maddox let out a breath. “When you came back from near death, you told us once your wolf was different.”

  Finn froze.

  “Sometimes we feel that along the bonds. Or, at least what we think that is. It could be nothing. It could be that Drake and I are working too hard on one bond at a time. It could be that you’re good at hiding what you feel, and that’s fine, too. It could be nothing, Finn.”

  He swallowed hard. He’d always known he was broken. Or had once been broken and sealed back together. But what if Hannah had missed something when she’d Healed him? What if she’d forgotten a key piece?

  What if the broken pieces shattered under the touch of a woman he didn’t understand—the strength of a soul so vivid that he could taste it on the wind?

  “I can’t talk about it,” Finn whispered. “Not right now.” He ran a hand over his face, knowing he was ducking the important things. But he couldn’t put it into words. There was something missing, and he had no idea if it was connected to the intensity that came from being around Brynn, but he didn’t want to voice his thoughts and ruin it all before it had begun. He could just be overreaching, but he didn’t know anymore.

  Maddox frowned at him then reached out and patted Drake’s knee when the younger man opened his mouth to speak. “We won’t push you. Not yet. I pushed my brothers at times when it was warranted, but I might have hurt them in the process. I won’t do that to you.”

  “But I might,” Drake said softly. “To save you? To make you feel whole? I’d do anything, Finn. You’re my brother. Remember that.”

  Finn swallowed hard, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hide everything for much longer. He’d tell them about Brynn, about his wolf, about his path…about everything. When he could. There was no if anymore. He couldn’t hold it in for too much longer.

  “I’ll remember,” he whispered then cleared his throat. “While you’re here,” he said, changing the subject, “I’ll let you know a little bit of what I’m going to talk to Dad about.”

  “Other than the events of earlier?” Maddox asked.

  Finn nodded. “Yeah. The outside world is one issue. But inside the Pack? We have issues of our own. I know as Betas, Nick and Jasper are working with the Pack to ensure they are functioning on a day-to-day level. But with all that’s happened in the past year, I feel as though we’re on an edge I can’t quite place. Our wolves are worried and trying to figure out how to live and not go crazy while stuck inside the den.”

  Maddox frowned. “I’ve been feeling that…unease, as well. I know Jasper has since we’ve discussed it. Pack circles and events within the den wards can only do so much.”

  “We’re going to have to find a way to keep the health of the Pack priority—not just their safety.”

  Maddox quirked his mouth up in a smile. “You sound like your father.”

  Finn raised his chin, the compliment washing over his skin.

  “We’re having a family meeting tomorrow morning. We’ll find a way.”

  The front door opened, and Finn turned to see Charlotte walking in, a frown on her face, and Bram, a mid-level ranking wolf on her tail. He had his hands in tight fists at his sides, the darkness of his skin holding the sheen of perspiration.

  Charlotte froze mid-step as soon as she looked up. Bram didn’t run into her as he’d had his attention on the three men in the room from the start.

  “Dad? What are you doing here?”

  Maddox stood up, his brows raised. He folded his arms over his chest, and Finn held back a groan. He didn’t know what was going on between Bram and Charlotte, but having an angry dad in the room probably wouldn’t help.

  “I needed to talk with Finn.” His gaze moved to Bram. “Bram.”

  “Sir.” The deep growl of Bram’s voice didn’t sound like he was afraid of the power in the room. In fact, it sounded like he was on edge.

  This wasn’t going to end well, and he wasn’t in the mood to mess with Charlotte. She needed her privacy—even if Maddox didn’t always see that. Not to mention, Finn needed time on his own right then. He had to formulate a plan and decompress after getting hit by a freaking car.

  “Thanks for stopping by, Maddox and Drake. I’ll see you both at the meeting.”

  Maddox didn’t move his gaze from Bram, yet Charlotte didn’t move from standing in front of him. Finn wasn’t sure what was going on, but it was their business unless Charlotte was hurt.

  Then it was all of their business.

  “Maddox,” Finn growled.

  Maddox leaned forward and kissed his daughter’s cheek. “Your mother and I will call you tonight.”

  “Love you, Dad.”

  “Love you too, baby.”

  With that, Maddox and Drake left, the tension in the room lowering but not as much as it should have.

  Finn met Bram’s eyes. The other wolf couldn’t keep his gaze for long considering he wasn’t as dominant, but he tried enough so as not to challenge but to still hold his stance.

  “I’ll talk to you later, Charlotte,” Bram said finally.

  “I don’t know that we have much to talk about,” Charlotte said firmly.

  Bram raised a brow. “Keep thinking that, honey.”

  Finn blinked. Interesting.

  Bram turned on his heel and left. Finn took a deep breath and didn’t scent Maddox or Drake nearby. That was good, at least.

  Charlotte closed the door firmly behind Bram’s retreating back but didn’t turn toward Finn.

  “Want to tell me what that was about?” Finn asked smoothly.

  “Want to tell
me what’s going on with you and Brynn?” she asked pointedly.

  Finn snorted. “Fair enough.”

  She turned then, playing with her ponytail. “You’re okay? I heard about the so-called accident, but everyone said you were fine.”

  Finn held out his arms. “Just a few twinges that should be gone in a couple of days, if not tomorrow.”

  She tucked herself close to his body, inhaling deeply before relaxing. She was his family, one of his anchors. He hugged her close, needing the touch as much as she did.

  “Don’t die on me, Finn. I don’t know if I could bear it.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I won’t,” he whispered. “I’m too stubborn.”

  She sniffed, kissed his chest, then pulled back. “See that you don’t. Now, I’m going to go take a hot bath. When and if you’re ready to talk about Brynn, you can always come to me.”

  Finn met his cousin’s gaze. “Same goes with Bram.”

  She nodded then made her way to her part of the house. Finn relaxed as soon as she was gone, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hide for too much longer. He’d fucked things up with Brynn by kissing her. Now he couldn’t get enough of her, and he didn’t know what that meant. He’d have to figure it out though because he had to see her again. There was no getting out of it—no choosing other partners. He and Brynn were too visible, too connected.

  He just hoped he hadn’t lost everything with one moment of passion. Because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if that were the case. He’d had a taste of Brynn and wanted more.

  He only hoped she’d be able to give it.

  ****

  The scream woke her.

  Brynn shot up from bed, clutching the sheet to her chest as she tried to calm her racing heart. Her throat ached, and she knew the scream had come from her.

  The screams always came from her.

  She wiped her palm on the bed, her skin clammy, then let the sheet fall to her waist so she could wipe her other palm. The coolness of the room brushed along her skin and bare breasts but didn’t help the beat of her heart.

  She’d dreamt about her father. About the torture he’d put her through. He’d always liked to watch her bleed, to hear her scream. She might have stopped crying at a young age because she couldn’t give him the satisfaction, but sometimes, she couldn’t hold back the screams.

  She swallowed the bile that had risen to her throat and pulled the sheet fully off her body. She always slept naked. She loved the feel of silk or cotton on her skin as she slept. Her past lovers had enjoyed it, as well. Though now she could only think of Finn sleeping next to her, naked, and even appreciating her form.

  She shook, this time for a different reason than the dream. She could still remember the feel of his body pressed close to hers, the feel of the hard line of his cock against her belly.

  And…enough of that.

  The sun had just started to rise over the ridge so it wasn’t too early for her to be up and about. Finn would be showing up later that day for a debriefing. As it was also a new moon, he’d discussed going on a run with Gideon and Brie with the rest of Brynn’s brothers going along just because they could. Shifters didn’t need to shift with the phases of the moon, but they liked to. During a full moon, she could feel the pull on her wolf and her skin always felt more sensitive. Back before she’d caught sight of Finn for the first time, she’d pair off with a single male wolf to ride out the rest of the moon and relieve some tension. Now she rode the tension on her own, never able to fully relax.

  It didn’t matter, though. Not now. Instead of dwelling like she’d been prone to do lately, she took a quick shower and dressed for the day in tight cargo pants and a couple of tanks. She had to do a few runs as a human, and wasn’t in the mood to dress up for Finn—not that she ever truly dressed up for him to begin with.

  Her bones tired from her lack of deep sleep, she stretched as she made her way out of her home and to the center of the den. She wanted to talk to Ryder and steal some of his coffee. Like the Redwoods, the Talons had a community area with shops, schools, and everything a wolf might need in case they never wanted to leave the den wards. The Talons were a little more localized in terms of their homes, however. Some still lived in barracks, and others lived in duplexes rather than single-family homes. All of her family lived interspersed within the den population rather than set apart. The Jamensons had their own section since their family was so large and was growing by the generation. It made sense with them since they could feel safe and have privacy. The Brentwoods were a different matter. When Gideon became Alpha, they were essentially starting from scratch with dark scars jaggedly cut across the population. So the Brentwoods lived all over the den. They weren’t as close as the Jamensons—their past, paved with blood, not allowing that—but they were getting close.

  Finally.

  “Brynn.”

  She stopped where she was, closing her eyes at the voice behind her. She didn’t slump or let out a breath. Katherine would take that as a sign of weakness—not an indicator that Brynn with this close to kicking the other woman’s ass.

  Brynn slowly turned on her heel. “Yes? Is there something I can do for you?”

  Katherine met her gaze and didn’t back down.

  A clear challenge.

  Fuck. And Brynn hadn’t even had coffee yet. She was so not in the mood for this.

  The other woman kept staring, though the strain around her eyes told Brynn the other woman would back down eventually. Or do something stupid like try to claw at her. Though Katherine desperately wanted to be Alpha female, she just wasn’t dominant enough.

  It wasn’t Brynn’s fault that she’d been born with that type of strength. It also wasn’t her fault that she didn’t have a clear place in the Pack hierarchy. But she could only blame the moon goddess for so long before she became as worthless as the wolf in front of her.

  “I’m not in the mood to deal with this right now, Katherine,” Brynn said slowly, her tone deceptively dull. “You tried this recently and you ended up in the dirt. What do you hope to gain by this?”

  “You’re where you are because of your brother and yet you don’t deserve it,” Katherine spat out. “You do nothing for this Pack. You just prance around with that Redwood prince like you’re something special to him. I don’t scent him on you so you can’t even get a wolf from another Pack to rut with you. You’re nothing.”

  That barb hurt more than it should have. Everything Katherine said was true in a way, but Brynn was smarter than that. At least with coffee and sleep she was.

  Brynn let out a low growl. A warning.

  “Katherine,” Iona, another dominant wolf said from the side. “Let it go.” Iona was more dominant that Katherine, but ranked lower because she’d fucked up with Gideon during his mating with Brie. Iona wasn’t a threat anymore, but Brynn didn’t like the other woman interfering.

  “Go home, Iona,” Katherine bit out. “This isn’t your concern.”

  “Enough,” Brynn growled.

  “No,” Katherine snarled.

  Brynn jumped. Before the other woman knew what was happening, Brynn had Katherine face down in the dirt, her arms bent back at an awkward angle. Katherine let out a whimper, and Brynn’s wolf preened.

  “Go the fuck home, Katherine.” Brynn didn’t even sound out of breath. She was that dominant. “I’m done with you.” She pushed Katherine down into the dirt before letting her go and walking away. She gave her back to the other wolf, a clear sign that she didn’t think Katherine was worth looking out for. Oh, she could move faster than the other woman and kept her senses out in case the bitch tried something, but she was done.

  This was just one more challenge to add to the countless she’d faced since her father had died. She’d gone from one form of torture to the next.

  “Brynn.”

  She closed her eyes. Of course.

  Of course, Finn would be here to see her challenge, to see part of her shame.

  “What do you want,
Finn? You’re here early.”

  She looked over her shoulder as he jogged toward her. Iona had dragged Katherine away, and Brynn was glad of it.

  “I couldn’t sleep.”

  That made two of them.

  “What do you want?” she asked again.

  “I came to see if you wanted breakfast. But first, are you okay?”

  She snarled at him. “I’m fine. I’m not going to faint and cry because some wolf thinks she’s better than me. I’m not where I am because I can’t take a few challenges.”

  He held up his hands in a position of surrender. “I was just asking because challenges suck. I deal with them, too.”

  She raised her brows.

  “I might be Heir, but I also have to prove to the Pack that I’m strong. Just because I hold the title doesn’t mean I’m dominant. Sure, that’s the case most times, but the Pack needs to see it, too.”

  She relaxed marginally. “I forget that. I guess the others have to deal with their own forms of challenges.” She shrugged. “I think I just have to deal with a few more than them.”

  He nodded, his gaze studying her face. “I can see that as you don’t have a set title but have the strength to have any of them. I don’t know what the moon goddess was thinking when it came to you.”

  That was the understatement of the century.

  Something he said came back to her. “Wait. You came here to ask me to breakfast? We have phones you know. Plus, I thought we were done with the whole in public thing together.”

  Finn raised a brow. It was wrong that she still found that sexy. “I could have called, but I needed the fresh air. And you know as well as I do that we’re too public to change things now. You’re stuck with me, Brynn. Like it or not.”

  That wasn’t the problem. She liked it. A little too much.

  So she said the only thing she could say. “Fine.”

  Chapter Eight

  Fine was a better answer than Finn could have hoped for, in all honestly. At least she hadn’t clawed his face for showing up. He hadn’t been able to sleep, that much was true. But it was because he kept thinking of Brynn beneath him. And then that wasn’t good enough because he wanted her on top of him, taking over, showing him that she could ride him just has hard as he could ride her.