Grandmother's Namesake

by Cathy Bryant

  As for where Elizabeth would be living once she was married, her intended had constructed a modest home on his family’s property in Salisbury. As the distance to Salisbury was not that great, Susanna was not at all saddened by her friend removing to another town. In fact, in seeing Elizabeth’s joy, Susanna was extremely delighted for her friend.

  Soon after Elizabeth’s arrival, the two friends made their way into Susanna’s bedchamber to work on the gown. Susanna then positioned the material for Elizabeth’s wedding gown on her bed in such a way as to examine it quite easily. Elizabeth had some of her own ideas for her gown but, as Susanna was a better dressmaker, she thought Susanna may well offer more suitable suggestions.

  Elizabeth watched in amazement as Susanna turned her head one way and then the other, observing the material. Elizabeth could see the wheels turning in her friend’s head; consequently, she was anxious for a report.

  Susanna finally glanced over at Elizabeth, and said, “Elizabeth, I believe I have come up with a design that shall meet with your approval. It takes into account some of your ideas but alters them ever so slightly. Let me explain.”

  A good part of the day had slipped by while the two friends eagerly discussed the design for the gown. Although Maddie anxiously awaited the details, she would not disturb them for the world. In addition, she was certain that when they finally emerged from Susanna’s bedchamber, she would be informed of the particulars regarding the design for the gown.

  While she passed the time in the sitting room, Maddie prayed that Elizabeth’s marriage would be blessed. Once again, she was reminded of God’s goodness to her. Though she had not been blessed with any children of her own, He had seen fit to bring several children into her life to love. Having a role in Elizabeth’s wedding was a reminder of that fact. If the truth be told, the two dearest girls in the world to Maddie were in the next room.

  Maddie’s time of reflection and prayer was cut short by a knock at the door. Before she could make her way there, William popped his head in to see if anyone was about. Upon seeing Maddie as she approached, he smiled. He then explained that he had some matters concerning the farm to discuss with her.

  Maddie then invited William to join her in the sitting room for a bit of conversation. Once there, William heard Elizabeth and Susanna in the other room laughing and having a wonderful time together.

  “Are they often so amused in each other’s company?”

  Smiling, Maddie responded, “Indeed they are. Considering that they have been friends their entire lives, they are very comfortable with each other. In truth, there isn’t much one doesn’t know about the other.”

  To this, William’s brow lifted a little as he thought about some of the personal things that Susanna might have shared with her friend.

  Having seen William’s expression, Maddie guessed what he might be thinking. “William, Susanna doesn’t discuss everything with Elizabeth.”

  They both chuckled at Maddie’s comment, for William knew she understood his concern. William finally pulled his mind away from the distraction of the ladies in the other room. He had some purchases he needed to make, which required another trip to Salem. He then detailed for Maddie the items of which she was running short. Subsequently, they jotted down a list for William to take along with him so that nothing would be forgotten.

  “I shall be going later in the week. Charles shall be on hand if you need anything.”

  At this point, Maddie and William heard the door to Susanna’s bedchamber open. Immediately after she entered the sitting room, Susanna blushed at the sight of William. Seeing her friend’s embarrassment, Elizabeth wondered at the reason. It obviously has something to do with William, but what? Is he not a regular visitor in Maddie’s home? She must be used to his company by now.

  With a quizzical look upon her face, Elizabeth gestured surreptitiously to Susanna by raised eyebrows that questioned her friend’s reaction to William. Susanna had to laugh as she briefly caught sight of Elizabeth’s expression. Her friend had always been too perceptive for Susanna’s taste; for this reason, she could never hide anything from her. This time was no different.

  At this point, Elizabeth began to giggle as well. Maddie observed that the girls needed a rescue; consequently, she spoke up. “Would anyone care for a cup of tea?”

  Oblivious to the reason for the amusement he was witnessing between Elizabeth and Susanna, William accepted Maddie’s kind offer of tea.

  Susanna and Elizabeth hurriedly directed Maddie to remain seated—they would fetch the tea. Maddie smiled, for this was her plan to help them escape William’s presence before they embarrassed themselves further.

  Once they were away from William, Elizabeth grabbed hold of Susanna’s arm. “Whatever is the matter with you?”

  “Oh, Elizabeth. Is there nothing I can conceal from you? You know me too well.”

  “Well. I am waiting,” she replied anxiously.

  Catching her breath, Susanna explained that, with all of the talk of Elizabeth’s wedding, she had been daydreaming a bit about William. Therefore, when she observed him in the sitting room, she felt as if he might read her mind. “Truth be told, Elizabeth, in a way you have done exactly what I feared he might do. You knew that what I was embarrassed about had something to do with William. Do you not understand why sometimes I believe my face reveals everything that I am thinking?”

  They both laughed at that and then attempted to quiet themselves. They feared that William might inquire as to the reason for their laughter.

  “You see, Susanna. You cannot escape a future with William. No matter his parentage—you love the man.”

  “That has never been the concern, Elizabeth. Of course I love him, but—”

  Cutting in, Elizabeth countered, “I know it is a difficult situation; however, you cannot allow his parents to ruin your chance for happiness.”

  “It isn’t my happiness I am worried about. William doesn’t deserve a wife who cannot love his parents. What is more, I would be a constant reminder of the evil thing they had done. He already finds their actions too difficult to bear. For a long time, I also worried that I would react badly to having them in my life, but lately all I can think about is William and his tender heart. Taking everything into consideration, you must see that a marriage to me would be too painful for him.”

  As the young ladies were taking an inordinate amount of time preparing the tea, William excused himself to check on them. Nearing the kitchen, he heard Susanna speaking his name. Consequently, before entering, he lingered a moment to listen.

  He soon heard Susanna’s reasons for giving up on a future with him. Unable to move, he continued to listen. Next, he heard heavy sighing coming from Elizabeth. To him, she sounded exasperated. “Susanna, have you told any of this to William?”

  “Well . . . no. No I have not. I have to come to terms with this myself before I—”

  After allowing what Susanna had said to sink in a moment, he burst into the room.

  Susanna abruptly stopped speaking at the sight of William approaching. “Susanna, I overheard what you had to say to Elizabeth. Is this true? The distance you have placed between us was simply to protect my feelings? Have you no concern for your own?”

  Grinning, Elizabeth hastened out of the room—leaving Susanna behind to be scolded by William. If Susanna only knew how delighted I am that William stumbled upon the truth, she would be very angry. Truth be told, if William had not overheard our conversation, Susanna may have kept this from him indefinitely.

  On account of the furious look upon William’s face, Susanna backed up against the table. If she had been afforded enough time to consider who it was that was standing before her, she would not have given in to such fears, for she knew William to be a kind and gentle man. Nevertheless, just now, he appeared fierce.

  Seeing the fear in Susanna’s eyes, William came toward her and gently took hold of her hand. “Susanna, there is no reason to fear—I am not angry with you. What is more, h
ad I been angry, I would never harm you. It is just that the situation is so infuriating. Let us sit awhile.”

  While holding out a chair for her, he kept hold of her hand as she took a seat. Feeling her hand trembling within his, he quickly let go. Suddenly, he was angry with himself for frightening her. All I wanted to do was to learn the truth—not scare the poor girl half to death. Had she indeed kept them apart out of concern for him? He had to know. “Be honest with me, Susanna.”

  Staring down at the table, Susanna attempted to compose herself. She had not planned on having this discussion with William, but now there was no escaping it. Swallowing hard she began. “William, if we married, and I couldn’t truly forgive your parents—or sincerely love them—I fear it would be a constant reminder to you of what happened. If that turned out to be the case, I believe you would suffer greatly. I could not bear that.”

  Astonished at what he thought he had overheard having been confirmed, William turned Susanna’s chin toward him so that he could see her expression as he spoke. “Susanna, nothing could be further from the truth. Though I love my parents, our differences are too great for us to ever be close. If you never can bring yourself to be in their company, it shall not injure me. I feel much the same way. In fact, I felt this way long before I met you. If either of us has a more difficult time of forgiving them for what they have done it shall most likely be me. If you must fear for someone—should we marry—let it be for yourself.”

  She then searched William’s face for verification that he truly believed what he was saying. She believed him to be sincere, but, for her, things were a long way from being settled. Nevertheless, Susanna heaved a sigh of relief that the conversation would soon be over. However, there was something else she needed to know. After considering upon it for a moment, she felt now was not the time. Besides, she was fairly certain she knew the answer; William had been the one her grandmother had written about in her diary.

  “If this has been the reason you have kept us apart, I hope you can see that the pain of not having you for my wife is far greater than any hurt I might feel over your relationship with my parents. Moreover, as they are currently residing in Virginia—and may stay on indefinitely—we shall almost certainly never have to see them.”

  With tears in her eyes, Susanna explained that she still needed time to think about all that he had said before coming to a decision. In truth, she feared that, though he sincerely believed what he was saying, he didn’t know himself well enough and might learn that he had been wrong about his feelings after they were wed. By then, it would be too late. However, she dared not voice her fears to William, for she was certain he would argue the point.

  William, having perceived that he had not completely persuaded her, was more than a little frustrated. Then, in view of the fact that she could not be readily convinced, he acquiesced to giving her more time.

  Maddie and Elizabeth remained in the sitting room until Susanna moved quickly through on her way to her bedchamber. Elizabeth followed her, anxious to learn what had transpired with William.

  William remained at the table unsure of what he could have done differently to convince Susanna that she need not have worried about his relationship with his parents. And as he was now aware of the fact that she had set her feelings aside and was simply concerned about him, his heart ached even more than it had before.

  After hearing a noise, William looked up and saw Maddie approaching. As soon as she had taken a seat, she listened as he conveyed the details of his conversation with Susanna. She sensed his frustration and offered to pray. The two friends took several minutes to beseech the Lord about the situation. He remained willing to accept the Lord’s will, concerning Susanna, but he knew it would break his heart if they were never to be together.

  Afterwards Maddie, once again, took the opportunity to express that it was essential for William’s wellbeing that he forgive his parents. She further explained that forgiveness didn’t necessarily mean accepting their choices. “In fact, to do so would be a disservice to them. They need to be held accountable for their actions,” she said, as she ended the conversation and left William to himself.

  William had listened closely to all that Maddie had said. He then had assured her that he would persist in prayer that he might forgive his parents. Now, sitting alone, he continued to think about the situation. To his mind, forgiveness was one thing but to consider restoring the relationship, if they repented, was another thing altogether. They could not undo the horrible things they had done. An innocent life had been lost. Furthermore, how could he expect Susanna to be in the company of his parents? He knew that, in fact, there were no circumstances under which he would expect her to associate with them.

  Chapter 34

  Susanna and Elizabeth were unable to sleep, so they conversed for most of the night. Though Elizabeth tried over and over to convince Susanna to trust that William knew what was best for him, she failed miserably. Susanna believed that what was at stake, William’s happiness, was too important to take a chance that he may be wrong.

  As morning came, the two friends were exhausted from a lack of sleep. Around noontime, Elizabeth’s father came to collect his daughter. He then remained a while to visit with Susanna and Maddie. Just as the Howards were about to depart, Elizabeth had a thought. “Susanna, why not come along with us for a few days. We could work on my wedding gown together.”

  Susanna was pleased with the idea—right about now a distraction sounded wonderful to her. Maddie also encouraged the excursion, for she thought it would do Susanna good to get away for a few days.

  After a time of convincing Susanna that she was not needed at the farm, Maddie said, “Now off with you. I don’t want to see you back here before the end of the week, or longer if you wish.”

  In no time, Susanna had packed up a few things and they were on their way. As they traveled along, Mr. Howard listened, with amusement, as his daughter and her friend talked on and on. How they could shift so easily between topics was beyond him. His thoughts then turned to his home, and that, all too soon, he would be living there alone. Lately, when he thought about Elizabeth leaving, he contemplated getting remarried. Nevertheless, he had determined to wait until after his daughter’s wedding before he gave it any real consideration. Now that the day was rapidly approaching, he decided it was time to cogitate further upon the idea.

  Elizabeth glanced over at her father just as a concerned expression came upon his face. She pondered inquiring after the reason, but thought better of it, for they were not alone. As her father had always been a private man, she believed it might embarrass him to speak of personal matters in Susanna’s presence. As a result, she let the matter drop for now.

  Before long, they arrived at the Howard’s abode. As they approached the entrance to the house, Susanna’s mind was filled with many happy memories of days gone by. Then, after making her way into the house, she took in the familiar surroundings. All at once, she felt a strong sense of nostalgia. This will most likely be the last time I stay here with Elizabeth.

  It seemed that all three—the two Howards and Susanna—were feeling much the same. Consequently, it was a bit overwhelming. To improve everyone’s somber mood, Mr. Howard suggested a hayride. With delight, the young ladies responded in the affirmative.

  Mr. Howard hitched up the horses to a wagon load of hay—his final crop for the season—and the friends, having changed their attire to suit the occasion, climbed up and settled onto the hay. As they rode along, Susanna observed that the fall colors were already beginning to emerge. To prove her point, she pointed to the colorful trees standing alongside the field. Up ahead she directed their attention to the little stream in which she and Elizabeth had waded countless times while growing up. At present, crimson-and-gold-tinted leaves were reflecting off the crystal clear water.

  Once again, she commented on how quickly the seasons change. It seemed summer had scarcely come to an end when the radiant colors of autumn began popping out eve
rywhere.

  Elizabeth felt a sense of wonder at the thought that autumn was truly upon them. It seemed that she had waited ever so long for her wedding day to arrive. Now that it was almost here, she realized the wait had not been so very long after all.

  Seeing the twinkle in her friend’s eye, Susanna knew full well the direction in which Elizabeth’s thoughts had taken her.

  As she smiled at the sight of her friend, Susanna glanced up at Mr. Howard to see if he had noticed the delight upon his daughter’s face. As she suspected, at that moment his loving eyes were upon his daughter. Taking note of his expression, she thought about the joy as well as the sadness ahead for this father and daughter.

  All at once, her thoughts went to William and what it would be like to be planning her own wedding. She hadn’t thought much beyond the obstacles they faced; however, this time she found herself ruminating on the idea of marriage.

  The wagon suddenly jolted—waking Susanna from her musings. “This is Elizabeth’s time. How selfish of me to be thinking about myself.”

  “What was that you said, Susanna?” inquired Elizabeth with a grin. She was fully aware that Susanna had been talking aloud but that it was to herself alone she had been speaking.

  “Oh, nothing. Nothing at all.” Drawing attention away from herself, she said, “Is this not the most fun we have had in some time?”

  Still grinning, allowing the matter to drop, Elizabeth nodded. They resumed talking and singing, which went on for the better part of the afternoon.

  Mr. Howard relished their time together. He thought about how proud Mary would have been to see their daughter now, for she had truly grown into a loving and beautiful, young woman. As he thought about what his beloved Mary was missing, it brought tears to his eyes. Soon after, he decided it was time to call it a day. The horses needed a rest. He suspected that the young ladies were tired as well.