Why I'm Yours

by S. Moose

  The need to argue is written on his face, but I have to make him understand that this is necessary. It is yet another part of me healing and being able to move forward.

  I remember the counselor in the hospital during my time of admittance. To completely heal, I have to freely talk about and accept the things I went through. I have to acknowledge that the things I went through were not my fault, and sharing my past with Aimee will place me one step closer to completely healing the hole Zane placed inside me.

  “I’ll be up to bed soon,” I assure Drew.

  Again, he gives me that look of his. Practically begging me without saying the words to reconsider.

  “Please,” I say.

  His shoulders sag in defeat.

  “If you need me…” He doesn’t finish the sentence, but he doesn’t have to.

  “I’ll be okay.”

  This man and his need to protect me is crippling at times. His need to keep me safe and shelter me from all things that might hurt me is staggering. My love for him only intensifies in that moment and makes me feel as if I can’t breathe.

  “I love you,” I whisper.

  He hangs his head for a moment. I watch as his shoulders rise and fall with one deep breath before he turns and walks up the stairs without a word. It is hard for him, I know. Had it been me in the very same situation, I know it would be almost impossible for me to walk away from him or from Dawson, knowing they could need me and I wouldn’t be there. But he has to trust me.

  “Let’s go downstairs, maybe out on the back deck,” I tell Aimee as I look away from Drew’s retreating back. “With a bottle of wine,” I add. “I have a feeling we’ll need it.”

  She doesn’t respond with words, only wraps her arm through mine, lays her head on my shoulder, and walks along my side toward the living room.

  Once we have our wine, our glasses, and two blankets, we exit the back door onto the patio. The view of the lake is one of pure solitude, so peaceful and calm. It makes the impending conversation so much easier to have.

  “I should’ve told you, I know,” I begin as I pour us each a glass of wine. Lifting one glass, I pass it to her, and she immediately lifts it to her lips. “When you came into my bedroom after the party, I wanted to tell you and have you help me. But, during that time, I was so lost, Aimee. I was empty, and the girl you knew was gone. I felt hollow. I didn’t know myself after that night. Everything that had ever meant anything to me no longer mattered. It had all been stripped from me in a matter of minutes.”

  “I left you that night,” she whispers. Again, tears flow along her cheeks. “I went on to party and completely left you on your own.”

  I slide forward on the chair and reach out to place my hand on her arm. “What happened to me was in no way your fault. It wasn’t mine either. It was his. He took something that did not belong to him, and nothing I said or you did gave him the right to take what he did.”

  Aimee instantly leans in and wraps her arms around me, pulling me in closer. We remain like that for an unknown amount of time, each shedding long overdue tears. When she releases me, I lean back in the chair and look out over the lake.

  “I’m sorry that you ever had to go through something like that, and I’m sorry you went through it alone,” Aimee says, also looking out over the lake. “I know that me knowing probably wouldn’t have made it any easier, but I need you to know that, had I known, I never would have allowed you to suffer without me suffering right along with you. You’re my best friend, Reagan. You always have been. More than that, you’re my sister, and I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I tell her. “I think, in order for me to recover, I had to hit bottom before I could climb back up. I knew you were there, and I know it’s hard to understand, but that helped even if I didn’t reach out. I just lost who I was for a while, but I feel that girl inside coming back. I feel like I can move forward now, be stronger.”

  “Because of Drew.” I can hear the sadness in her voice. It hurts her that she thinks she wasn’t enough.

  “I won’t lie and say that he hasn’t helped and Dawson, too,” I confess. “I think what I needed was time. Coming to Chicago with you, living a life away from Boston—that was my beginning. You helped me, Aimee, even though you don’t think you did. You not knowing didn’t stop you from helping me heal, so never think that you didn’t take part in bringing me to the point where I am today.”

  “The idea of you hurting the way that you did, the way that you have…” She pauses, unable to complete her sentence.

  “It made me stronger,” I assure her. “I don’t wish what I went through on anyone. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to face, and I still have my low days. But the good outweighs the bad, and having you all in my corner helps, too.”

  “I’ll always be in your corner,” she tells me.

  “I know,” I reply, “and I’ll always be in yours.”

  She reaches out and takes my hand in hers, and together, we stare out over the lake in silence. No more words are needed, no more confessions or heartache. Knowing the other is there is all the reassurance we need to begin this next step of healing.

  “I got you, baby,” a soft whisper fills the silence as I am lifted into strong arms.

  I curl inward and take in a deep breath, finding peace in the scent of Drew. The deep, manly aroma I’ve grown to love.

  “I’m taking you to bed,” he adds.

  “Aimee?”

  “Remy has her,” he says to me.

  I settle in deeper, using his warmth to comfort me.

  I'm fully aware of the temperature change from the warmth outside to the air inside the cabin. I know the moment he reaches the stairway and begins to ascend. Stepping inside our room, I hear the soft click of the door just before Drew begins to lower me to the bed. The moment his body begins to move from mine, I hold on to his neck tighter.

  “Don’t go,” I say.

  “I’ll never leave, Reagan,” he tells me.

  My chest grows tight. I still feel so raw from my conversation with Aimee, and I am not ashamed to admit that I need his comfort more than anything right now. I am hanging on the edge of tears, and I want more than anything for him to hold me close and bring back that safety he always has a way of providing.

  “Hold me,” I say.

  “Always,” he replies as he moves his body over mine and pulls me in close to his chest. “I love you so much,” he whispers.

  Those tears resurface.

  “Never again will anyone ever hurt you. You’re mine now, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

  I slowly fade into the darkness, knowing that his words are true. In Drew’s arms, I feel protected.

  35

  Drew

  “I have a surprise for you.”

  I’m covering Reagan’s eyes and slowly guiding her down the path toward the beach. Tonight’s our last night at the cabin, and I’ve planned this alone time for us. Remy and Aimee are out with Dawson, so I can do this for her.

  “I’m going to fall.” Reagan laughs.

  As soon as we reach the private beach, I uncover my hands from her face, and I walk to her side. Her expression is priceless. Reagan loves the little things. The differences between her and Jennifer are significantly obvious. Jennifer would never want to go horseback riding on the beach or have a picnic. She prefers five-star restaurants and her Gucci.

  Reagan lets me guide her toward the horses standing with their owner and good family friend, Sal Rogers.

  “You got us horses to ride on the beach?” Her face turns and notices the blanket and picnic basket Dawson and I packed while she napped. “And a picnic for dinner?”

  I love the excitement in her voice.

  After last night, I wanted to make sure she was happy and wasn’t worried about her past. The woman I’m staring at is strong and fierce. She allows herself to be sad for a little bit before realizing how fortunate and in control she is of herself.

  While R
eagan and Aimee ate breakfast outside on the deck, overlooking the woods, I overhead her talking about wanting to go horseback riding and how romantic a dinner on the beach would be. My girl wants romance.

  I haven’t had many chances to take her out and let her know I’m into this relationship. All of me. And it’s not just for the sex. That’s an added bonus. I’ve been acting like a damn horny teenager, wanting to be inside her as many times as I can. After finding out what she thinks is romantic, I immediately set a plan in motion. She deserves to be swept off her feet and have her heart racing. Being with Reagan, watching the woman she’s becoming, is more than I can ask for.

  Tonight’s all about Reagan and showering her with all my love and affection. She needs to know, as amazing as the sex has been, my love for her runs deeper, beyond anything I can imagine.

  “We are having dinner on the beach. Just us,” I respond. I kiss the top of her head.

  Reagan’s face lights up brightly, and in this moment, I’m so in love with her. I can easily watch that smile on her face and become complete.

  We’re walking the beach, hand in hand, and I can see the curiosity on her face.

  “I wasn’t sure you would like my surprise.”

  She pushes me a little and it makes me laugh this tiny woman thinks she can push me over. “Its perfect.”

  She’s perfect.

  When we get to where my surprise is starting, I peek to see an excited Reagan.

  I introduce her to Sal, and he gives us a quick how-to. She informs us she’s ridden before, so neither of us has any questions.

  As we’re riding along the lakeshore, I glance over and my breath catches when I see that smile on her face.

  “This is so sweet,” Reagan says with a laugh. She pets her horse and turns her head to look at me. “You’re amazing.”

  “Anything for you.”

  The laugh slipping out of her plump lips fills the quiet air. “Sometimes, I feel like this is all a dream. One day, I’m going to wake up alone, like I was before. Everything will be gone, and it’ll just be me in the facility again.”

  I slowly shake my head. “I promise you, this isn’t a dream. I’m real. Dawson’s real. You’ve grown out of your shell, and you’re starting to heal again.”

  “Can we stop here?”

  “Of course.”

  We’re facing the lake, watching the calmness of the water shifting from the shore and back out. The swooshing sound echoes in the air. The sun begins to dip down, hitting the horizon with bright rays and colors. The sky’s a canvas of pink, orange, and yellow, but all I can see is Reagan. A slow, heavy feeling settles into my chest. She’s focused on the sunset, immersed in its natural beauty.

  This is it.

  I get off my horse, Luna, and gently touch her arm and help her off Belle.

  “You okay?” she asks.

  “Since I met you, I can honestly say I’ve never been happier. You and Dawson complete me.” I pause and wait a few moments.

  During the silence, Reagan intently watches me.

  “You’re the woman I see in my future. In my forever. I want to wake up to you every morning and kiss you good night before we go to sleep. When I look at you, everything becomes easy.”

  Reagan covers her mouth, and tears spill from her eyes. I wipe each away and lean in to kiss her forehead.

  “Dad!”

  We both turn and see Dawson running toward us. Remy and Aimee are standing where the path meets the beach. I give them a wave and turn back to Reagan with Dawson at my side.

  “Hi, Reagan.”

  “Hi, sweetie,” she says, her voice hoarse with emotion.

  “Before Dad says anything more, I wanted to tell you I really love you. You make my dad happy. He’s not sad anymore when you’re with us. I like that we play and spend time together. You’re really cool, and you make the best breakfast ever. I know I have a mom, but”—Dawson pulls his arm from behind his back and hands her lilies, and by the look on her face, my son chose well—“will you be my second mom?”

  Reagan immediately gasps and kneels, hugging Dawson. She looks at me while I get down on one knee.

  “Reagan Nicole Halloway, will you spend forever with me as my wife, my best friend, and partner in this crazy thing we call life?”

  “Yes!” She throws her arms around me and tightly holds me against her body. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  I let her go and keep her at arm’s length, so I can place the three carat diamond ring on her finger where it’ll stay until the end of time plus infinity. Dawson’s little arms hug us both, and the three of us laugh, holding each other.

  “I love you guys.”

  “We love you, too, buddy.”

  “So much,” Reagan tells him.

  My pulse finally slows as Remy and Aimee run to us.

  Remy slaps my back and hugs me. “I’m happy for you, man.”

  “Thank you.”

  The five of us make it to the blanket with the horses. We say good-bye to Sal, and I look at Reagan and Dawson sitting close to one another, sharing a plate of cheese and crackers.

  “Come on, Dad! You need to eat.”

  “All right, buddy.”

  As soon as we put Dawson to bed, our clothes are thrown off, and I’m buried inside her.

  Holy fuck.

  Reagan’s my piece of heaven. Her pussy’s squeezing my cock, and it’s the best feeling, being inside her.

  “Faster, Drew,” she moans.

  “I can’t control myself. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Reagan’s eyes turn dark with yearning and desire. “I trust you completely. With all my heart and my body. Please let go and lose control. You can make love to me next. Now, I want fast.”

  I blink, and without any more thought, I pull out and push my cock harder inside her. Our bodies move together in perfect rhythm.

  “Fuck,” I cry out.

  Her legs wrap around my waist as she grips the cream-colored bedsheets, and our breathing matches to an erotic rhythm.

  When I look down and see the glisten of her ecstasy on my cock, I fight off the close orgasm and focus back on her eyes. We’re synced together, fluidly moving as one. She bites her bottom lip as I pound harder into her. The slapping sounds of our bodies drive me crazy, and I lose control, gripping her hips and pulling all the way out, only to slam back inside her.

  “I’m so close. Oh my God. Drew, ah, yes.”

  “Reagan,” I call out.

  The orgasm rushes through our bodies, calming down our racing hearts. A gleam of sweat covers us, as I taste her soft and swollen lips before slowly pulling out.

  "I'll be right back," I whisper against her lips.

  When I get off the bed, I head to the en suite, and come out with a warm cloth to gently clean her. I toss the cloth on the floor when I’m done and pull the covers over us.

  “I love you,” she whispers.

  “I love you.”

  I want to freeze this moment in time with her. When I take her left hand and hold it up, staring at the ring I placed on her finger just a few hours ago, I know this is how I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

  “You’re so beautiful, Reagan. Thank you for saying yes to becoming my wife. I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle toward me.”

  “To our forever,” she speaks softly. “You know, the more you keep talking like that, the more I’m going to want you back inside me.”

  I turn on my side and press my lips to hers. “Well, maybe that’s what I want. If I remember correctly, you wanted me to fuck you hard and then make love to you.”

  She looks down, and her eyes widen. “How are you hard already?”

  “Don’t sound so surprised.” I pretend I’m wounded. “It’s never enough with you.”

  “Drew…” The sweetest sound of want lets me know she needs me, too.

  I slowly get up and pull off the covers, staring at her naked body and cherishing what’s in front of me. I need to go slow and take my t
ime, savoring each second so that it cements itself into my memory. I need her to feel everything I’m feeling and to know how much I love her.

  As I slowly begin making love to her, I cover her body with my lips, kissing every inch I can possibly kiss and focus on each nipple. Her nails dig into my back, and she lets out a low moan.

  “That feels so good.”

  I slow my thrusts, and each time I’m inside her, I make sure to go deep and feel all of her. “This is where I belong. Right here with you.”

  “Nothing’s ever going to take me away from you, Drew. I promise.”

  After we finish making love, her words repeat back to me, and I smile, bringing her closer to me and promising I’ll never let anyone or anything take her away from me.

  36

  Reagan

  “Being engaged means you’ll be moving out soon,” Aimee says as we climb the stairs to our apartment building. “Just tell me that you moving into that big ol’ place of Drew’s won’t mean that I will rarely see you.”

  “There’s no way you’ll be getting rid of me,” I assure her as we reach the front door. “This just means that you’ll be hanging out with me at Drew’s more often, which also means you’ll be seeing Remy more.”

  I don’t miss the smile on her face.

  “Speaking of Remy,” I say as we pause at the elevators, waiting for one to arrive, “care to let me in on what you two did over the last few days? The times you snuck off for hours or those mornings you came downstairs, looking like you’d lost a battle.”

  “Lost a battle?” she asks with curiosity.

  “Yeah, a battle,” I repeat. “Your hair going in every direction, your mascara smeared under your eyes.”

  The ding announces the arrival of our car, and I remain silent until we step inside. Once the doors close, I turn to her and cross my arms over my chest.