We'll Begin Again

by Laurèn Lee

  The day wore on as any other day at work. I met with a few clients, worked on a few proposals, and researched future cases. I ate lunch at my desk again, and only stopped when a visitor knocked on my office door.

  “Come in!”

  William waltzed into my office and whistled. “Wow-ee, this is some office!”

  My cheeks turned pink. “Thanks! It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

  “Well, if you bothered to step away from your desk and have lunch with me, you’d know,” he teased.

  “I know, I know. I’m sorry. It’s just I’m so—”

  “Busy?”

  “Uh, yeah,” I answered.

  “You’re working yourself to death,” William said more seriously.

  “Just don’t want to disappoint Ross or my clients,” I replied sheepishly.

  “So, I’ll be seeing you at Charlie’s play tonight?”

  “The what?” I skimmed a file in front of me while I took a taste of my soup.

  “Peter Pan? Your child’s first theatrical performance?”

  “Right! The play! Of course I’ll be there.” I cringed at my forgetfulness.

  “You know, Charlie is afraid you’ll forget about it.”

  “He is?” My heart plunged into my stomach.

  “Yeah, he told me on the phone when he called me. You can’t miss this, Amelia.”

  “I won’t,” I said way more defensively than I intended. “How’s work?”

  “It’s going well.” He appeared genuinely happy and at ease. It was a nice change of pace for him and he looked well.

  “Any issues?”

  “Not at the moment.”

  “Happy to hear it!”

  Silence crept into the conversation as we sat awkwardly together. “Well, I’ve got to get back to work. See you tonight?”

  William’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah, I hope so.” He strolled out of my office and glanced back in my direction before disappearing from view.

  At half past four, Karen popped into my office. “Hey, you. I’m heading out to grab Charlie’s costume and then go to the school. You’ll be there on time, right? I’ll be saving you a seat in the front row.”

  “Yes,” I replied absentmindedly. “See you soon.”

  Just before Karen stopped in, Ross visited me, too. My office felt like the place to be today, I could barely concentrate with all my colleagues popping by.

  “Amelia?”

  “Hi, Ross. How’s everything?”

  “Good. Good. How’s the proposal going for Hershel, Inc.?”

  “Not bad. I still have a few more docs to pull and look over.”

  “Can you have that ready for me by tomorrow morning?”

  I glanced at my calendar. “I thought it’s due next Wednesday?”

  Ross sighed. “It was, but I need it earlier. Think you can manage?”

  As if I didn’t already have a heaping load of work at my feet. “Sure, I’m on it.” I couldn’t let Ross down. Plus, I was still the newest partner at the firm and felt I needed to prove my worth. My father once told me if your boss asks for you to do something, you need to have it done before they walk out the door. He burned that mentality into me at a very young age.

  I grabbed a cup of coffee from the lounge on my floor and returned to my desk, which was beginning to feel like a prison. Maybe I was working too hard? Shaking away the feeling of doubt about my work ethic, I put the pedal to the metal and got to work.

  Despite a few more cups of coffee, my eyelids drooped while I scanned another pile of documents before me. The sun set by now, and I had a sinking feeling I was forgetting something. Before I had the time to try and remember, my head drooped, and I slid back in my chair, sound asleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Amelia

  “Amelia? Amelia?”

  I opened my eyes and wiped away a stream of drool from the corner of my mouth.

  Where was I?

  Then, as if a jolt of lightning shot through me, I sat upright, my heart plunging deep into my chest.

  William stood before me, arms crossed and a look of fury upon his face. I’d never seen such a scathing look in his eyes before. I glanced at my watch; it read 9:07. Then, I remembered what I’d forgotten before I abruptly fell asleep. Tonight was Charlie’s play.

  “Oh, my god!” I cried.

  “Yeah. You forgot about Charlie. Your only son.” Distaste crept into his tone.

  I flew out of my chair and grabbed my coat, but William blocked the doorway.

  “I need to go home! Is he there? Holy shit! I can’t believe I fell asleep. I set my alarm and everything.” Panic poured from my voice.

  “Charlie is at Karen’s house,” William said coolly.

  “Please move. I need to go get him!”

  “He doesn’t want to see you, Amelia.”

  Tears sprang from my eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “I watched your son look at your empty seat all night long. Every other kid had parents waiting for them after the play, except for Charlie.”

  I crumbled to the ground, shuddering as the tears flowed freely down my cheeks. Shame and bile rose in my throat, and I couldn’t bear to imagine the pain Charlie felt at this very moment. How could I have let him down like this? I set an alarm and everything!

  “You hurt your son tonight. You really messed up.”

  “I know, I know!” I rocked back and forth, my knees pulled to my chest.

  William knelt down beside and put an arm around my shoulders. “What’s going on? Why are you working yourself so hard here?”

  “I can’t help it, William. All I think about is work. I don’t want to let anyone down.”

  “Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re letting down your son. And me.”

  “You?” I sniffled.

  “I miss you. We rarely see each other or talk anymore. I thought… I thought I could count on you to be there if I needed you, but now I don’t know.”

  “My father, he taught me to be dedicated to my work. He didn’t want me to live my life poor like I did growing up. He wanted better for me and my family.”

  “Don’t you see? You already are providing for your family. You don’t need to work eighty hours a week to do so. You’ve gone past the point of success and are heading down a dark path. We both know what it’s like to have a parent who works too hard. And neither of us had the chance to ask them to slow down and just be there for us.”

  “I don’t want Charlie to grow up without a mother at home. He’s already got divorced parents.” Mascara smeared across my cheeks.

  “You have a rare opportunity, though—one our fathers never had.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You have a chance to change.”

  William pulled me up and held me closely. I nuzzled into his shoulder and cried until no more tears escaped from my ducts. His warm body against mine reassured me I wasn’t alone and someone was there to catch me when I fell. I promised myself, from here on out, my first and main priority would always be my son. The work would always be there, but my son wouldn’t always be a child. I needed to break the cycle, and I needed to do it right now.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Amelia

  “Thank you for understanding, Ross. I know I’m still new here, and I want to make a good impression, but this is the right thing for me right now.”

  “No further explanation needed. We want our employees to be happy and healthy. You deserve a vacation.”

  “Will someone else be able to handle Leo’s case? I have all the files together on my desk. Karen could provide them to the new assigned attorney.”

  “Yes, absolutely. Don’t even worry about it!”

  Ross and I shook hands, and I promised to be back in two weeks with a clear mind and a more regulated schedule. Even my boss noticed I put in far too much time at the office and exceeded all billable hour requirements. I promised myself and Charlie I would only work late if it was an emergency.
/>   For the next week and a half, Charlie and I spent our time together all day and all night. I told him soon enough he’d get sick of me, but he said it wasn’t possible.

  I planned a ton of great adventures for us during our mini vacation. Of course, his teachers weren’t too thrilled I was pulling him out of school for two weeks, but I told them it couldn’t be avoided. I didn’t tell them we were going to an amusement park, a water park and then to his father’s wedding. I imagined they’d frown upon most of those excuses.

  “Mom, can William come with us to the parks?”

  “I don’t think so, sweetie. He still has to work.”

  “Is he still coming to the wedding?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Charlie high-fived me and galloped to his room to finish packing. I needed to pack, too. As I folded clean laundry in the living room, someone knocked at the front door. I set down the beach towel in my hands and strode over to welcome my unexpected guest.

  “William!” I cried when I opened the door.

  He strutted inside with a new pair of Levis on his hips and a black tee shirt hugging his chest. Since moving into the halfway house, and now having a steady paycheck, William could afford to eat regularly and even go to the gym. He shed his lean, almost meek appearance, and added a sufficient amount of muscle to his arms, legs and abdomen. That and his beard stirred up feelings deep inside my belly I hadn’t felt in quite some time.

  “Hey. Just wanted to stop by before you left.” He handed me a paper bag, of which I already knew its origin.

  I opened the treat and inside stood a red velvet cupcake from my favorite bakery in the city. “That’s so sweet of you.”

  He pulled me into his arms, and I absorbed the sweet, clean aroma of his cologne. The first time I met William, he could barely stand to be near me. Now? We hugged hello and goodbye almost every time we saw each other. My little “breakdown” seemed to knock down another part of the walls around his heart. I felt closer to him than ever, and I missed him dearly when we weren’t together. Again, the idea of having a romantic relationship with William nudged my conscience. We’d both come so far from when we met. Could we fit into each other’s lives as more than friends?

  “William!” Charlie pounded across the hardwood floor and leapt into William’s arms. “I wish you were coming with us.”

  “Me too! But you and your mom are going to have a great time. Then, before you know it, I’ll be there for the wedding.”

  Charlie hugged William tightly, and my heart nearly burst at its seams. They’d grown quite close since they met unexpectedly all those weeks ago. The doubts I once had about bringing William around Charlie vanished a while back. I trusted William with my son more than nearly anyone else in our lives. I still couldn’t thank him enough for supporting Charlie the night of his play, when I wasn’t there. Sure, it hurt to know someone else had to do it in my absence, but I’m relieved it was William.

  “You’re good with a ride to the ceremony?”

  “Yeah, not a problem. A friend from work is driving me there. He has family in Pittsburgh, so he figured it’d give him a reason to go and visit.”

  “Perfect, I’m glad it worked out. Then, you’ll be able to cruise with us on the way home.”

  William set Charlie down and pulled something from his back pocket. “This is for you, Charlie.”

  Sparkles in Charlie’s eyes illuminated his face as he greedily grabbed for the envelope.

  “What do you say, Charlie?”

  “Sorry. Thank you!”

  He tore open the envelope, and inside was a crisp twenty dollar bill. “So you can get a souvenir at one of the parks.”

  “Wow!” Charlie gazed at the bill in his hand as though Benjamin Franklin stared back at him instead of Andrew Jackson.

  “It’s not much,” William whispered bashfully.

  “It’s incredibly generous. Thank you.”

  William hugged us each again one more time before he left and Charlie’s and my vacation began.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Amelia

  Charlie and I, exhausted yet fulfilled, left the water park and drove to our hometown. Even though I still carried the guilt of missing Charlie’s play, I think I helped make up for it on our little trip. Watching Charlie fearlessly dive down waterslides and holler at the top of roller coasters reassured me that a vacation together was exactly what we needed.

  Driving down the all-too-familiar highways sent a shiver or two down my spine. I didn’t think I’d be back “home” so soon, and yet here I was, only a half hour away from the hotel where my ex-husband planned to marry a new woman.

  We arrived at the hotel around two, which left us enough time to check in, get dressed and head down to one of the banquet halls in the hotel for the ceremony. William arrived not too long after we did and joined us in our shared hotel room to dress for the ceremony. Charlie was the ring bearer, and I couldn’t wait to see him walk down the aisle.

  Naturally, Cal chose the ritziest hotel in Candlebrook. Money wasn’t the issue; I could afford it but didn't know why he had to have something so ostentatious. Did he forget he already got married once? And let me tell you, we spared no expense for our wedding day.

  Chandeliers hung every several feet in the hallway, and the walls were lined with pristine artwork.

  "I'm not sure if I belong in this kind of place," William joked.

  "Me either."

  "This place is cool! Like a castle!" Charlie shouted. I shushed him as we found our room.

  I tapped the key against the door as it magically unlocked. Back in my day, we had to insert the key; now you just needed it to touch the door.

  The room housed two king-sized beds, a balcony, a refrigerator, a maroon suede loveseat and more. The curtains were made of lace, and the plush navy carpet squeezed between my toes. If you searched for luxury in the dictionary, this hotel room would be smack dab next to the definition.

  Charlie dropped his backpack and dove head first onto the cream down comforter. "Mom, check this out!" He jumped on the bed and managed an awe-inspiring flip.

  "Charlie!" I rebuked. Then William hopped onto the bed and jumped alongside Charlie.

  "You two are too much." I couldn't help but smile, though. Their laughter echoed within the room, and I grinned ear to ear.

  "C'mon, Mom. Join us!" Charlie called out.

  Against my better judgment, I joined my two favorite guys, jumping as high as I could, almost touching the ceiling.

  Chapter Thirty

  Amelia

  "William, will you zip me up?"

  I stood in the vanity mirror with my lilac floor-length gown glittering in my reflection. My hair hung in soft, wavy tendrils while my shimmering nude eyeshadow sparkled under the lights. I spritzed a touch of Chanel perfume on the nape of my neck and applied a smooth coat of lipstick. I felt like a princess, and judging by William's expression, I looked like one, too.

  "Wow, Amelia," he gasped. "You look gorgeous."

  I blushed. "Thanks."

  Carefully, William caressed the small of my back as he lightly grasped the zipper and pulled it up to my neckline. He put his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. We gazed at each other through our reflection, and happiness radiated off both our illuminated faces.

  "I'm really happy you're here," I said.

  "Me, too. Although you're going to piss Cal off, you know?"

  I raised my eyebrows. "As opposed to any other time I see him?"

  "Well, what's he going to do when his ex-wife shows up his bride on their wedding day? There's no way she'll even compare to you today."

  Damn, this man had stolen my heart, and I don't think I'll ever get it back.

  "Are you guys going to get married too?" Charlie chirped up.

  William choked on the water he sipped from the bottle on the dresser, and I burst into laughter.

  "You’re something else, kid." I said.

  "Mom, do I have to dance with any
girls later?"

  I snickered. "Not if you don't want to."

  "Good. But if I change my mind, am I allowed?"

  "Sure, sweetie."

  My iPhone alarm rang, signaling it was time for us to head down to the ceremony.

  "Charlie, I'll walk you to where you should be, but then William and I are going to take our seats. Okay?"

  "Sure, Mom."

  Together, all three of us left the hotel room, me in my dress, William and Charlie in their suits, and took the elevator to the ground floor where the ceremony and reception would be held. It amazed me suits small enough to fit Charlie even existed. He looked like my little knight in shining cotton.

  Guests poured in as I waved to some I knew. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cal's parents, and my stomach dropped. I hadn't seen them since before our divorce. They weren't fond of my decision to move Charlie a few hundred miles away, and so the sour looks on their faces didn't surprise me.

  "Grace, Jeffrey," I said as they approached us.

  Grace sized me up, her eyes trailing up and down my body several times. I felt like a piece of cattle about to be auctioned off.

  "It's been a while," she responded airily.

  "Uh huh."

  "Ready, kiddo?" Jeffrey asked Charlie.

  "As I'll ever be!"

  Charlie's grandparents smiled, and while I wasn't thrilled to see them, it was nice to see they still loved Charlie so much despite my differences with their son.

  "Good luck, Charlie! I'll see you soon." I bent down and pulled him into my arms. I feared he might protest, but instead, he hugged me back.

  "You look so pretty, Mama."

  "I love you, sweetheart."

  I let go, and Charlie skipped away with his grandfather toward the room where I assumed the wedding party planned to gather.

  "No introduction?" William teased as we found a pair of seats toward the back of the room where the ceremony was being held.

  "Believe me, you don't want to meet my ex-parents-in-law. They're brutal."