Peas and Princesses

by Aleese Hughes

  “Will you please just call me Milly?”

  She shook her head, brown curls bouncing out of the kerchief tied around her head.

  “Even if we’re in private?”

  “I could get in big trouble, m’lady,” Patty said. She looked frightened.

  “Fine,” I said. “And about what to wear, just pick something for me. I really don’t care.”

  Chapter 12

  “Tea time always happens in the afternoon in between lunch and dinner, and there is a correct etiquette that all nobles are expected to know.”

  I rested my face in the palm of my hand, eyes growing heavy as I listened to Minerva drone on about the only thing I ever heard: etiquette, manners, nobles…

  “Princess, elbow off the table!”

  I slid my elbow off the small tea table Minerva and I sat at. From the corner of the library, I heard Joseph, who was appointed to guard us during this lesson, snicker at me. I flashed an annoyed look at him, but he winked at me. I found myself smiling at the gesture. Minerva didn’t notice as she surveyed the setting before us.

  “To your left are the sandwiches and scones.”

  I looked to where she pointed and saw a mountain of delicate, tiny sandwiches and some glowing pastries— the scones, probably. I still wasn’t used to the type of food the nobles had available to them.

  “Why are there so many for just the two of us?”

  Minerva rolled her eyes and gracefully picked a sandwich off of the platter and indicated for me to do the same. The soft bread squished between my fingers, and I did everything I could to not let its contents drip all over me, or the pretty lace cloth set over the table. I took a bite and grimaced. It was just cucumber. There was no flavor and overall just bland.

  Joseph made a knowing face behind Minerva’s back, and I chuckled.

  “What is so amusing, Amelia?” Minerva seemed to relish in the taste of her tiny sandwiches. She would, though.

  I cleared my throat. “Nothing, Lady Minerva. I’m sorry.”

  She raised an eyebrow at me, but brushed it off and instructed me towards the scones. Those were significantly better, and still warm. As I finished my pastries, Minerva lifted up one of the smaller tea set pieces. The glass was ornately decorated with intricate blue paintings of flowers.

  “This is the creamer,” she said to me. “Milk is poured into the teacups before the tea— always!”

  I couldn’t understand why she always had to snap at me.

  Minerva poured some milk into the delicate teacup before me, then followed with some piping hot tea.

  “Sugar?”

  I nodded.

  She gingerly placed two cubes in my cup and directed me to stir with the tiny spoon next to me. I slipped the silver utensil between my fingers and stirred the liquid in circles. The spoon clinked against the glass, and Joseph grimaced at me. I raised an eyebrow at him as he chuckled slightly and shook his head.

  “Amelia!” Minerva gasped. “Do not hit your spoon against the sides of your cup! And never stir in circles.” She picked up her own spoon and stirred her drink back and forth in small movements— much less effective, in my opinion.

  Minerva proceeded to list about a hundred more rules for tea time, and I groaned inwardly as my head started to hurt. It was ridiculous to have so many “correct ways” to do things. It accentuated the loss I felt as I thought of home and its glorious simplicity.

  After we had finished with the tea, Minerva set the napkin from her lap back on the table. I followed suit.

  “Dinner is in two hours, Princess,” she said as she rang a bell to call a servant in for clean-up. “I will send a few more books to your room that I expect you to start reading while you wait.”

  I glanced at Joseph, and he shrugged. He knew how much I had read in those past few days. It never ended.

  “Joseph.” Minerva pushed her seat back and stood, turning to face him. “Will you take the Princess back to her room?”

  He nodded his head and gestured for me to follow him.

  “And one more thing, Princess.”

  I whirled around to acknowledge Minerva.

  A little smile appeared on her cracked lips as she continued: “You will be addressing the court and the King in the throne room tomorrow morning. Be on your best behavior.”

  “I— I—”

  “Don’t stutter, Amelia. Princesses do not stutter.”

  I bit my tongue. I was shocked. I had to address the King? What for? Well, I guess I was his “daughter.” I couldn’t help but keep thinking about what his plan was— About why he chose to replace the real Princess.

  Joseph and I remained silent as we strolled down the hallways, in fear of someone overhearing us. Joseph had told me a couple days ago that it wouldn’t bode well if people knew of our friendship. We reached our bedchamber, and he pulled my door open.

  “I’ll see you tonight,” he whispered.

  He gave me another wonderful smile, but my mind was still on what Minerva had said to me.

  The King had not been at dinner that night, as per usual. I actually hadn’t seen him in days, which made this “addressing the King” event even more scary to think about.

  I let Patty pull the gown off my head and stared at my bed. I would have just gone straight to sleep if it wasn’t for how excited I was to talk with Joseph. After Patty left, I waited by my bedroom door, eagerly awaiting his knock. I waited for at least a half an hour before it came.

  I cracked open the door.

  “Milly?” he said.

  I sighed with relief. “You have no idea how good it is to hear someone call me by my real name.”

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  “Are you sure it’s safe?” I said, pulling the door open wider.

  “I won’t stay in for long. I just like talking to you face to face.”

  I smiled. “Me too.”

  He wrapped me up in a warm hug. I closed my eyes, breathing him in. He smelled like grass and trees, which kind of reminded of home.

  “Oh, Milly,” he said, grabbing my face.

  “Uh, yes?”

  Joseph chuckled and let go of me. “I’m sorry. I just really enjoy our little talks. And I got a little worried.”

  “Worried?” I asked, sitting down on the floor. He followed suit.

  “You’re addressing the court tomorrow.”

  “Well, I am the ‘Princess’ now.”

  He nodded. “I know, it’s just… it’s an intimidating thing to have to see the King in such a formal setting.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Everybody from the court will be there. All the noblemen and women, and the castle servants, know you’re not the real Princess, so they’ll be watching everything you do. Not to mention that addressing the court and King so formally always warrants some sort of announcement.”

  I cocked my head. “Announcement?

  He stroked his chin, deep in thought. “Maybe you’ll figure out what it is the Princess was supposed to do.”

  I sighed, exasperated. “I’m so tired, Joseph. I miss my sister. I miss my home.”

  He scooted over to me and put his arm around my shoulders. “I know.”

  Footsteps sounded close to my chamber. We both perked up. Was someone listening to us? My heart jumped to my throat. Thinking about being caught made me want to throw up.

  “I’ll be right back,” Joseph said, jumping up to get to his post again. He quietly shut the door behind him.

  I wrung my hands, nervous, as I waited for what seemed to be forever.

  The door opened again, and he slid through.

  “I made it out in time,” he said. “It was just a guard making his rounds. I think he was drunk, too.” He took his seat next to me and put his arm around me again.

  “Phew,” I said, chuckling.

  “Milly, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “If things were different, do you think… you and I…?”

  I paused,
not sure what he was trying to get at. We had been getting rather close lately, but I didn’t think anything could ever come of it.

  Joseph brushed off what he said. “Never mind. I just wish things were different, especially for your sake.” He frowned and started picking at the soft, red carpet we sat on.

  I turned my face to his and smiled. “Hey, you’re the one who’s supposed to do the comforting.”

  He laughed. “I know. My job is to save princesses.”

  I nudged him. “Stop,” I said, also laughing.

  “I love your laugh,” he said.

  I blushed, turning away. All of this flirting was not something I was used to. I didn’t interact with many boys my age back in Marviton.

  “I’d better get back out there,” Joseph said. He looked a little embarrassed by my silent response to his compliment. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I watched as he stood up and slipped back out the door. I sighed, feeling bad for making him feel uncomfortable. As I moved to get into bed, my thoughts kept going back to Joseph, and I found myself grinning. I thought of his crooked smile, and the way his dark hair curled around his ears. My face grew hot, and I shook my head. How would anything like that ever work? I was the Princess now, and it wasn’t like I was going to escape anytime soon. And he was a royal soldier! He wouldn’t run off with me… would he? I groaned and threw the covers over my head, telling myself to stop thinking about it.

  Chapter 13

  “Do I really need to wear this? It’s so cumbersome!” I choked past the ruffles of the neck to my dress.

  My maid Patty and Lady Minerva were both helping me dress to visit the King. My hair and makeup had already been done by the royal hairdresser. I almost screamed when I had looked in the mirror and saw a giant tower of blonde curls on my head and blotches of red on my cheeks and lips.

  “Princess,” Minerva said, “it is important to wear the appropriate attire to court. This gown is regal and befitting royalty.”

  I groaned. “I feel like I can’t move.” I pushed away all the blue fluff to try and find my feet.

  “Maid, please assist Her Highness into her shoes.”

  Patty gestured for me to sit in a chair and helped slide atrociously green heels onto my feet. At least they matched the dress.

  “You are ready!” Minerva cried, clapping her hands. “This is so exciting! Your first time in court! I heard the King has a special announcement!”

  “Um, Lady Minerva, everybody knows that I’m not Princess Amelia, right?”

  “Hush!” Minerva snapped at me. “You are Princess Amelia.”

  I took a deep breath. “Okay…”

  “And please, for heaven’s sake, speak like a princess! Don’t let all of that training go to waste!”

  I stood up straighter. “Yes, Lady Minerva.”

  “Off we go!” Minerva chirped, leading me out of the room. Patty curtsied and was left to straighten up the mess we made while getting me ready.

  I followed Lady Minerva down the long hallway towards the throne room. My palms were sweating. I didn’t know what to expect out of this visit with the King, let alone a bunch of nobles!

  We finally made it to the tall doors. With a nod from Minerva, the two guards stationed pulled them open.

  “I will go in first and introduce you. You’re on your own after that,” she muttered to me under her breath.

  I gulped.

  Minerva stepped into the spacious room, shoes clicking on the granite floor. “The Princess Amelia.”

  Taking a deep breath, I made my entrance. A couple dozen nobles surrounding each side and King Leopold lounged in his throne at the head of the room. Trying to control my shaking, I curtsied. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Joseph standing among the nobles. He gave me a thumbs up, and I felt myself gain a little more confidence.

  “Princess Amelia, my daughter, how have you been? Have whatever ailments indisposing you been healed?” the King said. His voice was loud enough to be heard in the entire room, yet he sounded gentle. But his eyes were dark with no emotion.

  I hesitated at his question of my being sick, but then remembered everybody in the room knew I wasn’t the real Princess. This fabricated story— for the sake of the people outside the castle— would be that I was just indisposed for a time.

  “Yes, Sire. I feel much better now,” I said.

  He nodded. “That is wonderful news.”

  I curtsied yet again, and he gestured for me to take the smaller seat to the left of his. As gracefully as I could in my heels, I made it to the plush chair and sat down. My heart was pounding so fast that I felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

  King Leopold stood to address everybody in the room. “Now that my daughter has graced us with her presence, I am excited to announce an event that you have all been eager to hear, I am sure.”

  If the room wasn’t quiet before, it definitely was now.

  “Queen Andromeda from the Polart Kingdom and I have come to an arrangement.” King Leopold grabbed my hand. I shivered.

  “Her son Prince Alexander and my daughter Princess Amelia are engaged to be married, which will thusly join our kingdoms in a beneficial arrangement for all of us.”

  My jaw dropped, and everybody in the room gasped. It was silent for a short moment, but then excited chatter began. My jaw was still hanging open.

  The King clapped his hands for silence. “Yes, this is a joyous event! I invite you all to a feast tonight in honor of this arrangement and in honor of our Princess Amelia!”

  I searched for Joseph again. He looked red in the face, fists clenched.

  Married? I thought. To a prince I’ve never met? What kind of messed up joke was this? But then again, why was I surprised by anything at this point?

  The King turned towards me. “Congratulations, daughter.” Then lowering his voice so no one else could hear, “You will be a great help to me.”

  Chapter 14

  I sat next to the King at the head of the large dining table. Each chair was filled with a noble, and each noble was dressed in vibrant colors and made up in extravagant ways. There was not one face at the table that didn’t have at least a touch of rouge painted onto their cheeks. All eyes were on me during the feast. I knew they were judging every move I made, just waiting for me to slip up. I wasn’t going to give them that satisfaction. With every course, I made sure to eat with delicacy, and I spoke with poise and even a hint of pomp. I was engaged in conversation during the whole dinner, barely getting in more than just a few bites of the delicious food. You’d think a princess wouldn’t be as hungry as I always seemed to be.

  “Princess?” an older man said a few seats to the right of me.

  I gently dabbed at my mouth with a napkin and turned to him. “Yes, Lord…?”

  “Chamberlain,” he said, grinning.

  My stomach turned as I watched the powder on his face crack as he smiled. “Lord Chamberlain?”

  “How do you feel about your engagement?”

  I looked to the King out of the corner of my eye, but he made no reaction as he scooped bite after bite of his soup into his mouth.

  I tried to think of the best answer to satisfy the man. “I feel as elated as any woman might be in the situation, my Lord.”

  The man winked at me. “I hear Prince Alexander is quite the catch. Rumor has it he has broken many ladies’ hearts in his day.”

  “That’s… good to hear,” I said, forcing a smile. I caught Joseph’s eye from across the room where he was stationed. His eyes did not leave me. His brows were furrowed, and his lips were pursed into a tight line. I could tell he wanted to talk to me. The feeling was mutual.

  “That’s not what I heard!” someone chimed in.

  I turned my head to see who the voice belonged to. A young noblewoman with very bright, green eyeshadow winked at me. She continued:

  “Prince Alexander is very handsome, but I heard he is cripplingly shy.”

  I raised an eyebrow, trying to decide
what was better: a heartbreaker, or a recluse.

  “Next course,” the King bellowed.

  Everybody dropped their soup spoons at once and waited for the next plate to be served. Quickly set before me was a beautiful chicken breast lying in a pool of gravy. I waited for King Leopold to take a bite, and then I got to it. I ate as quickly as a well-mannered princess could muster.

  Dessert came in and went just as quickly as the other courses, and before I knew it, the King called for the dancing to begin. I sighed with relief.

  This is my chance to talk with Joseph, I thought.

  Lord Chamberlain leaped from his seat as soon as the musicians began playing music and rushed over to help me out of my chair.

  “Your Highness,” he said. “May I have the honor to dance with you first?”

  “Of course,” I said, hiding the shock from how fast he was to get to me with that ancient body of his.

  Taking his hand, we made our way to the dance floor. The dress I was wearing for the celebration was much better than the blue monster earlier. I felt satisfied with my ability to walk as I watched the light-weight, pink layers swish across the floor.

  Lord Chamberlain faced me and bowed. I curtsied back, and we started dancing. A lot of the other guests followed our example and began dancing, as well.

  The Lord pulled me so close as we danced that I could smell the moth balls in his wig.

  “You know, Princess,” the stench of alcohol on his breath burned my eyes, “you are much prettier than the real Princess.”

  My eyes widened, surprised by the statement. “Lord, you are not supposed to mention her. I am Princess Amelia, remember?” I looked around the room, nervous someone would hear our conversation.

  Lord Chamberlain licked his lips. It was a grotesque sight. “We all know that you’re not Princess Amelia, my dear. For you, being with a Lord like me should be an honor.”

  He tightened his grip around my waist. It took everything in me not to slap the stupid grin off his face.

  “My Lord,” I said, thinking quickly, “I’m feeling rather faint. Will you help me to a chair?” I gestured toward some chairs set along the wall at the end of the room, near where Joseph was standing.