The Baby Shower

by Tasha Blue et al.

  Kevin lowered his mouth to hers again, kissing her softly as his hands moved over her body slowly, feeling every part of her and rediscovering the flesh he had not known in so long. It created a hunger in him that began to grow stronger and brighter and his desire for her began to mount.

  She reached for him, closing her hands around his stiffening erection, massaging him and making him gasp with need for her. His kisses moved to her neck, pressing his lips to soft warm areas that made her hold him tighter, and he breathed in the scents in her hair, closing his eyes and creating new memories of love with her.

  Ellen pulled him down onto the bed with her and as he lay down, she climbed on top of him, straddling him, and moving herself against the outside of him in a teasing arousal. Without thinking or realizing it would happen, Kevin flashed back to the scene of her romping on top of the gardener this same way, and he grasped her hips in his hands and held her fast.

  “Ellen,” he breathed in a pained whisper, “Stop… please, let’s do this another way.”

  She started and looked down at him in surprise, but she let him turn and roll them over until she was underneath him. He spread her knees apart and in moments was pushing himself inside of her. His eyes closed, his body was enveloped in her heat and in her embrace.

  He kissed her, looking to lose himself in her fully, and she wrapped her legs around him and moved with him as he entered her over and over.

  Their heated skin grew dewy in the warm tropical night air and as the flames of desire and passion grew hot and boundless, he closed his eyes and in his mind, all he could see was Marina. He saw her dark breasts, her beautiful blue-gray eyes, her sweet warm smile, and he felt her arms around him.

  He was so overcome with desire and emotion, with love and need, that he let the fantasy become as real to him as it could be. He moved with urgency and hunger inside of his wife, but imagining Marina beneath him, in his arms, kissing him back, and his mouth closed over Ellen’s flesh ravenously as he saw the mother of his child in his mind.

  He knew he should not think of her, he knew full well that he had no business imagining her beneath him, his body inside hers, her flesh in his mouth. But once she came into his thoughts, once it felt as though she may be there with him, he could not deny himself the moments he so desperately wanted with her.

  He wanted their encounter to last, he wanted to keep his eyes closed and pretend that she was there making love with him, that the soft moans he heard were hers, and that the woman clinging to him as he moved passionately within her was Marina.

  But his body would not let it last, his ache for her was too great, his love and desire too strong, and his body could not contain the love he longed for so desperately. He shuddered as his body reached orgasm and his lips, pressed passionately against the skin of her neck, spoke softly with his heart’s desire, “Marina…” he whispered.

  Ellen opened her eyes and pushed at his chest, looking at him with surprise and amazement. “What did you say?” she asked with shock.

  It was too late that he comprehended his mistake as he looked down into the bewildered and stunned face of his wife, the woman he had meant to make love to, the woman he was trying to rebuild a bond with, and the pounding in his head felt like a freight train racing forward, rails rattling and whistle screaming.

  “I said I want to make love with you at the marina, where the boats are docked,” he volleyed for a lame save. She lowered her eyebrows at him and pursed her lips. He continued to row upriver. “Let’s go rent a sailboat overnight and make love out by the marina, rocking in the waves and be lulled to sleep in each other’s arms. I want more romance with you than this. We can do better. We have a marriage to save.”

  She bought it, he thought. The tension in her face eased and his heart began to slow down as he watched her smile at him and lean up to kiss him. “Oh,” she said, her Cheshire cat smile turning up the corners of her mouth. “I thought you were calling out another woman’s name. I was worried for a minute.” She kissed him with a sultry slowness and kept her eyes open as she did.

  “I really don’t like boats that much. You know that. Why would I think that was romantic? The ocean is creepy at night. All that black water, and who knows what, swimming, just waiting to get you. That is not romantic at all. I would rather have you here in this soft plush bed, surrounded by pillows and maybe some candles and music. That would be romantic.” She kept the masked joker smile on her face and moved out from beneath him.

  “Also, while we’re talking about what we like, I happen to like being on top. It makes me feel like I am more in control, and it turns me on. Why didn’t you let me stay on top? What’s the big deal with you needing me underneath you?”

  He wasn’t sure if he could say it to her. He wanted to; he wanted to say that he could not get the image eradicated from his mind… the image of her straddled over the gardener’s hips, gyrating away at him in her bed, and he didn’t want to be the man under her in place of the gardener. He could not say it. “I just like to be on top, too,” he said softly and smiled at her. Kevin kissed his wife’s cheek and rose from their bed, walking to the shower.

  The hot water poured over him and steam billowed around his muscular body. He closed his eyes. It was difficult making love with so many people in their bed. The mental image of the man he’d seen his wife with pushing his way into the sheets with them, Marina appearing beneath him in his mind, and, of course, the two of them who were physically there.

  He felt horribly ashamed that he had let himself fantasize about Marina. That was no way to repair his marriage, and it was certainly no way to keep his relationship with Marina a platonic one.

  He closed his eyes and his image of her beneath him returned full force. He could see her body in his mind, her beautiful eyes and warm, loving smile. He longed to feel her dark skin against his, her arms holding him, her hands clinging to his body as he entered her over and over, as he kissed her, tasted her, and loved every inch of her…

  His body responded to his deep desires and he realized that he had stiffened into an erection once again. He groaned and turned the temperature of the water down, letting the coolness of it wash away his aching need for a woman he would never have.

  He thought about his mistake in calling out her name at the height of his orgasm, and was grateful that Ellen was not bright enough to realize that he had lied to her. He felt shame for the lie as well as for his pretense in making love to his wife when he was actually thinking of another woman. He never lied to Ellen or anyone else. He was staunch about telling the truth, and luckily, Ellen knew that about him, or he might have had more concerns on his mind.

  Kevin stepped out of the shower and dried off, then headed to bed to find his wife already asleep. He looked at her, lying there with her leg over the sheet, her dark head sunken into the pillow, her full sweet lips slightly parted as dreams surely flitted through her mind.

  She really was a beautiful woman and she deserved the love and devotion of her husband. He vowed to himself as he stood over her, watching her slumber, that he would be as good as he could to her, that he would live up to the promises that he made to her during their wedding, and that she would know his love was for her in the future.

  He crawled in next to her and watched her sleep for a while, wondering what she was dreaming about, wishing that he had not betrayed her in his mind when they were making love, and he fell asleep looking at her beautiful face.

  When he awoke, she was still sleeping. He reached over to touch her cheek, and she slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. A smile began to spread over her lips and, watching her intently, his eyes locked on hers, he leaned over to her and kissed her, softly at first, and then more urgently as morning’s desire overtook him.

  He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so that she was astride him where she wanted to be, and he entered her, watching her and thinking only of the woman he was with as his hands and lips gently caressed her body. He made passionate love to
her, and she reveled in the attention he lavished on her.

  The remainder of their second honeymoon was spent in harmonious happiness; holding hands, enjoying their time together and sleeping beside one another. Kevin believed by the end of it that perhaps they had managed to save their bond once again, and that the two of them, committed to one another, might spend the rest of their lives in love and married, making a future together until the end of their days.

  Ellen basked in his singular attention and devotion, reveling in being the center of his world.

  When Kevin left, Marina had felt as though she might have lost what she had never had, and she kept reminding herself that she had decided not to fall in love with a married man. She blamed it on the hormones that were raging rampantly throughout her body, and she focused all her time and energies on her sweet baby daughter.

  She sent Kevin texts and photos, and for the first few days, she heard back from him constantly. But as the days went on, his responses to her were shorter and less frequent, and she told herself that she must hold tight to their friendship without looking for more, so that they could offer their daughter the best possible upbringing.

  Four days after Kevin left, Lamar came to her house and knocked on the door. She felt her heart leap into her throat when she opened the door and saw him standing there. Time had changed him. He had gone from being a thick boy to being a tall, slender, toned and trim man.

  His body and face had matured, and his demeanor was completely different. He was quieter, more at ease, more at peace, and perhaps a bit more accepting of his own faults. The fires of youth seemed to have given way to the patience of time and age.

  She invited him in and for an awkward moment, neither of them knew what to do, but then he reached for her and hugged her, loosely at first, and then as the familiarity of his hands on her body came over them both, he pulled her close to him and held her tightly.

  “I’m so sorry, Marina. I could never say that enough to you. I wish so much that I had gone that day, that I hadn’t talked myself out of loving you and keeping you as my wife for the rest of my life. I’m so sorry.” He released her and looked down into her eyes as tears fell down both of their cheeks. “Can you forgive me?” he asked in a choked whisper.

  She was overwhelmed with emotion, and because she had let go of the anger years before, she knew she could, and so she said so to him. “Yes, Lamar, I will. I forgive you. I know you didn’t hurt me on purpose.”

  He pulled her closely to him and held her to his heart for a long time, until both of them had cried through the emotion and were able to breathe deeply again, then he let her go and she stepped away from him.

  He smiled down at her and wiped the tears from his eyes. “So it looks like things are going really well for you.” His gaze encompassed the room and her, and he smiled. “I’m glad to see it. You must be doing alright. I want that for you. I want you to be happy.”

  “I am happy.” She meant it, mostly. She was happy. Other than being in love with a married man whom she could not have, she was happy. She had a beautiful baby girl, a lovely home, she was finishing a great education, and she was going to be well taken care of for the rest of her life. Things were very good.

  “The baby is just the sweetest little thing in the world. She is everything to me.” Marina could not help grinning. Maddie always made her grin.

  Lamar smiled and looked a bit nervous. “Would it be alright if I saw her?” he asked carefully.

  Marina looked at him for a moment, watching him, reading his expression and his eyes, and then she smiled and indicated the sofa in the living room, “Yes, you can. Go ahead and have a seat there, and I’ll get her. She’s in the other room.”

  He sat, gazing around the room anxiously, and Marina went into her bedroom.

  She emerged a few moments later, her arms filled with colorful blankets, and she sat near Lamar on the sofa, tilting her arms so that he could see the sleeping angel in them.

  He grinned immediately and looked up at Marina. “She’s beautiful, just like her mama,” he said with complete pleasure.

  Marina nodded proudly. “She has my eyes. She is so perfect; I just love everything about her.” She raised Maddie to her face and kissed her softly.

  Lamar watched her intently for a long moment and then looked away, choked up a bit.

  “What is it?” she asked him, concern on her lovely face.

  He turned to face her again and wiped his hand over his eyes to catch the tears there.

  “She’s beautiful, Marina, and if I had done what I said I would do, she’d be mine, and we would be a family. It’s a lot for me to think on, that’s all.” He sat up straight and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, who’s gonna raise her up?”

  “Her father and I are,” Marina said quietly.

  He frowned slightly and nodded. “Are you two together? You’re going to marry him?” he asked, obviously not really wanting to know the answer to his questions.

  She shook her head. “No, we’re just really close friends. He’s with someone else, but he’s around for her and he’s there for me, too.”

  Lamar shook his head in confusion. “That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

  Marina thought to herself that not all the real details made much sense to her either, but she kept it to herself.

  He placed his hands on his knees, took another deep breath, and looked at her. “If you aren’t seeing her father, are you seeing anyone else?”

  She felt her body freeze from her hair down; everything in her went still and she could hear her heart pound almost in time with the clock ticking on the mantle over her fireplace.

  “I’m not seeing anyone. I am happy with my life as it is, just Maddie and I and her daddy coming around to see her. That is enough. That’s fine with me,” she said, trying not to sound cold.

  He nodded. “Well, maybe it would be alright then if we went out to dinner sometime, you know, just to talk. I spent a lot of time without you, it felt like it left a hole in my life, in my heart… and I want to fill it back up. I want the hole filled. I want you back in my life. Even if we are just friends.

  “You are such a strong, beautiful woman, Marina, you are like sunshine walking around on the earth, and it is mighty cold without you. I just wondered if we can change that.” He spoke honestly and kept his eyes on hers the whole time he talked, which made her wish she could believe what he said, even though her trust for him was gone.

  She didn’t know quite what to say to him. She rocked Maddie a little more fervently, in essence rocking herself a bit more, just for the comfort. She turned her head and looked down at her baby, unsure what to make of his request. She had trusted him before, and he had let her down; he had left her waiting at the altar for a husband that never came.

  Now here he was again, asking for her trust, her time, and her company. And for what? What benefit would he be in her life, she wondered. She realized that if she could not answer that question, then she did not know, and if she did not know, then she could make no firm decision on it.

  “We’ll see,” she finally said in a hushed tone. “What do you want, Lamar?” she asked with uncertainty.

  He never took his eyes from her. “I just want you back in my life. However that might be.”

  She sighed deeply and nodded. “Alright, Lamar, alright. We can see how it goes. Maybe we can be friends. We can try.” She acquiesced and a smile spread over his face.

  “Good. That’s good. I’ll show you how different I am now. I’ve changed a lot, Marina, you’ll see that in no time at all.” He nodded his head.

  “I can already see it,” she replied, looking at him with a smile. “You’ve grown up. That is clear. We’ll figure out the rest as we go along, I guess.”

  He looked at Maddie again. “Can I hold her?” he asked, his eyes meeting hers.

  She paused a moment and then, pushing away the thought that this might have been his baby she was hand
ing to him, she placed Maddie in his arms. He held her close to his chest for a long while, looking down at her, rocking her gently, and then he gave her back to her mother.

  “She’s really something else,” he said with a sad smile.

  “She really is,” Marina agreed.

  Lamar rose to leave and Marina put Maddie down and walked him to the door. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, and per her usual rule, she didn’t let go until he did.

  “I’ve missed those hugs,” he said quietly in her ear before letting her go fully, and then he kissed her cheek softly. “You are more beautiful than you’ve ever been.”