The Baby Shower

by Tasha Blue et al.

  “They’re gorgeous.” I take them from her and inhale their perfume.

  “Let me see if the nurse or someone has a vase,” Amy says and takes then from me. When she returns to the room with the flowers, she finds a neat corner on my side table to place the vase. Amy has not met my eye at all and I can hear her brain working overtime.

  “Just spit it out, Amy,” I say.

  “What?”

  “You want to ask me if Drew pushed me down the stairs.”

  “Well, did he?”

  “He didn’t push me, Amy. I swear to that. But he was coming after me. I tripped and I fell and then he called the ambulance.”

  “And that makes it all right?”

  “No, it doesn’t make it all right, but that’s my life. That’s what’s real and there’s nothing I can do to change that.” I’m feeling resigned to those words.

  “What’s that supposed to mean anyway, Macey? Are you telling me you’re going to stay with Drew because you don’t have the gumption to leave him?”

  “Leave him when I’m pregnant?” I ask.

  “You don’t know if it’s even his. It could be Adam’s and he has no idea what’s going on does he?”

  “He knows all right.”

  “He does? You told him? What did he say?” Her face looks hopeful.

  “He hung up on me.” I take a deep breath.

  “He did what?” She’s incredulous but then so was I when I called Adam. “Two days ago I dialed him up, blasted the news that he might be a father and he hung up on me.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Not even a word. Not even to say are you sure it’s mine or any of the usual things men say when a woman they slept with once tells them they’re pregnant.”

  “It doesn’t sound like him, Macey.” Amy shakes her head from side to side. “This can’t be right.”

  “It is what happened Amy. Plain and simple. Maybe he liked the idea of running out on his wife for me but not anymore since there’s a baby involved. So here I am, with a child inside me whose father could be a drunk or a man who doesn’t even want him.”

  “I’m sorry, Macey, I’m still getting my head around Adam just hanging up like that. Maybe someone was in the room. Maybe he couldn’t speak.”

  “Didn’t you hear me? I called him two days ago. He’s had all this time to get back to me, Amy, and he hasn’t. If someone dropped a bomb on you like that you do one of two things: You ask questions or you turn your back on the whole situation if it’s something you don’t want. He doesn’t want a baby. He doesn’t want me.” I turn my eyes to the window and blink several times to stop the tears.

  Amy touches my hand. “So what happens now?” she asks.

  “Well, Drew has stepped up. He’s come here with my things from home, and you know what?”

  “What?”

  “He already got a job. It’s just hauling boxes in a factory but it’s a job. He’s trying, Amy. Since he found out I’m pregnant, he wants to try again.”

  “And you believe him?”

  “I want to. It’s either that or I do this on my own.”

  Amy is silent, I know which of the choices she wishes I would take. But I’m old fashioned at heart. A baby needs a mom and dad. Even a dad with a low paid job is better than no dad at all.

  “I made my decision, Amy. I’m giving Drew a chance.”

  Then Drew comes in. He has in his hands a big teddy bear and a small bunch of flowers.

  “Drew,” I say. “This is Amy from my office. Amy meet my husband Drew.” They shake hands and Amy makes ready to leave.

  “The doctor said you’ll be able to come home tomorrow,” Drew says. “I just spoke to him. These are for you.” He spots the larger and more expensive flowers already in the vase and looks embarrassed.

  “They’re lovely,” I say.

  “I can’t stay,” he says. “I’ve got to get back to work. I won’t be able to visit this evening because I took some overtime. Never thought I’d be able to say that any time soon.”

  “I know. It’s great, Drew. You’ll need to bring me something to wear home when you come back tomorrow.”

  “Leave it to me.” He puts the large teddy on my lap. “This is for junior.” His face beams with joy and I take a quick look at Amy.

  “Oh, congratulations,” she says. “I’ll leave you two alone. Look forward to seeing you back at work Macey.”

  She leans over to kiss me. She winks at me and waves to Drew before leaving.

  Drew smells sweaty. He’s working hard at his job. The teddy bear is a sweet gesture and a much more sincere one. Unlike the empty promises Adam made. Adam has gone completely cold on me. I don’t know how I could have trusted him.

  Very soon Drew has to go and I spend the rest of the day just staring out of the window and imagining what could have been with Adam. Then my mind goes to Drew and the future we still have a chance to have. Now I no longer have to worry about who the father of my child is because now only one of the men I slept with actually wants to take on the responsibilities.

  ***

  While I’m waiting for Drew to come to collect me, I practice walking on my crutches again. The physiotherapist has just left and given me some exercises to try out. I’m going up and down the room, doing as I’m shown when the door opens. I turn, expecting it to be Drew standing there with my going home clothes, but it’s someone else; the last person I ever thought would show up here.

  I recognized her straight away from the television program she hosts. Sherry Lancaster, Adam Wainwright’s wife. “I’m sorry to come here like this,” she says. Her stare is hard. She is taking in every inch of me. “They told me you were alone and I had to speak to you.”

  I cannot find words. I have no idea what could have brought her here.

  “You look puzzled,” she says.

  “Because I am,” I reply.

  “Adam told me all about you,” she says after a short pause. I lean back onto the window sill, I almost drop the crutches because I come over weak. “Don’t worry. I didn’t come here to cause trouble.”

  “No?”

  “Of course not.”

  “So why...?”

  “Because I just wanted to put you straight on a few things... Macey, isn’t it?”

  I nod.

  “Macey, don’t think for one minute that you’re the first girl Adam has cheated on me with. Now I know he has come over as this wonderful guy. He’s good looking, rich. A catch for any young girl who doesn’t know better about us.”

  “About you?”

  “Yes, he does this once in a while. Meets a girl, tells her he’s interested, shows it the best way he can and tells them that I don’t understand him and that we’ve grown apart. It’s like a game for him.”

  “So why do you stay with him?”

  “Because I love him. And he loves me, Macey. A lot. He quit the company so we could get our marriage back on track. Tomorrow we renew our vows and we try again to get that fire back between us. The flame never went out, Macey. In fact I’ve just come from our bed. You understand?”

  “So why are you here? Why tell me all this?”

  “Because, this time, Macey, I’ve had enough of games. I’ve had enough of girls like you hanging on to my husband and keeping him from where he should truly be. With me. We fly out to LA for good tomorrow. Adam suggested we set up a permanent home there. We’ve had a house out there a long time empty and we’ll have a life out there as soon as we move back in. New York and everyone in it is over for us.”

  “Why didn’t he come here to tell me this?” I ask, not knowing how I summoned the courage.

  “Because he’s already forgotten about you, Macey.”

  “You see me as threat, otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

  “Maybe I do. I’m tying up loose ends. Consider it a warning. I won’t let anything or anybody come between us. So just keep your distance and we’ll all be a lot happier.”

  “You mean you will.”
>
  “Yes, Macey. Got it in one. No one crosses me—ever. You understand?”

  I nod like an obedient puppy dog. I’m crushed by her beauty, her total command of the situation, and the air of superiority she has over me. How could I have thought Adam, of all people, would prefer me over her?

  “You don’t have anything to worry about,” I say at last. “It’s quite clear that Adam is done with me. I’ve moved on and you won’t see or hear from me again. Besides which, there’s no way I’ll be coming out to LA.”

  She looks me up and down again in my old Mickey Mouse nightdress and then turns her back. The door opens as Drew enters the room. She pushes past him and disappears as easily as she appeared.

  “Who was that?” Drew asks.

  “Um, she-she’s just one of the specialists.”

  “Is that why she looks familiar?” he says.

  “Maybe. What did you bring?” I change the subject and look at the mismatched pants and t-shirt he has in the bag. “Did you bring shoes?”

  “Oh sorry, didn’t think,” Drew says.

  “Oh well. At least I’m out of here.”

  I dress in silence. The orderly wheels me out of the hospital on a squeaking wheelchair and Drew helps me into the taxi. Drew is gentle, kind, and thoughtful as he helped me into the apartment. He goes out to buy us takeout as there is nothing to eat in the house. There is also no alcohol in the house either; I check while he’s down at the restaurant getting the food. This is it. I’m about to have a baby with Drew, but all the while, I’m feeling numb.

  CHAPTER 10

  Richard Merrick, Adam’s replacement, arrives in my office the way Adam always used to. But it’s not the same, obviously. I used to secretly look forward to Adam coming to the office in the early days, when I was first attracted to him and before either of us began to let on that we liked the other. Those were the special times.

  I’ve wished, on more than one occasion, that the innocence of those days were back again; me finding him attractive like you’d find a film star or a famous singer attractive. And, just like he was a famous person, I’d know in my heart that it couldn’t go any further. Stars are unobtainable and once in a while I’d dream about ideal dates with him. But that was as far as it ever went—at first.

  Never being able to get Adam out of my mind was my problem in the beginning. And the fantasies about him only started when things with Drew got really bad. And even in fantasizing about Adam, I never thought I’d actually sleep with him one day. I know now that I could never have stopped that happening. The way I felt about Adam I never felt about anyone else—not even Drew. With Adam it was always different.

  But as Richard stands talking to Amy and me, I’m not really listening. I’m feeling the baby moving in my tummy and I’m wondering what Adam is doing right now. He’s been in LA now for almost five months. Now that I’m seven and half months pregnant, my maternity break is due to start and not a day has gone by that I didn’t think about Adam and what could have been if I’d been brave enough to leave Drew in the beginning of all this.

  But Drew has been extra attentive. He’s on to his third job now. He never seems to be able to hold on to them but, now that he’s given up the idea that anyone will ever hire him as an engineer, he’s happy to take any job. At the moment, he is an orderly at the hospital, and so far, it looks like this job might stick.

  “You’re miles away, Macey,” Richard is saying. “Did you get any of that?” He is looking at me with a friendly smile.

  “I’m sorry, Richard. I was in a bit of a daydream.” I smile back and take a quick glance at Amy who is grinning like my naughty class mate.

  “I guess you’re dreaming of being away from here. Being at home with your baby, when he or she comes,” Richard says.

  “Something like that,” I reply.

  “My wife was the same. She got really emotional all the time and tired a lot too. How are you coping?”

  “Actually, not too bad. I do get tired once in a while. But I’m coping.”

  “Well don’t you go overdoing it,” he says. “I was just talking about a meeting that’s coming up. We’ve got a few colleagues from our LA office flying in for this, so we were thinking about the hospitality side. If you can organize how that will pan out, Macey, that would be great.”

  Now Richard has my full attention. Now that he has mentioned our colleagues in LA. Adam has been heading up a sales team out there since his move to Hollywood with Sherry. Does this mean that he will be coming back here?

  “Do we have a list of the LA team yet, Richard?” I ask as casually as I can.

  “Not yet, but I think about four of them will be here for the meeting.”

  “So I guess I’ll have to find who’s coming when they let us know?” I say, eyebrows raised as if I don’t care and trying hard not to look at Amy. “I mean, we’ve not met any of them so I’d have to get a background on them so I know how to organize for their visit. You know, dietary requirements and that kind of thing.”

  “Well, one of them you’ll know very well already,” Richard says as he walks towards the door. “Adam Wainwright will be coming. I’m sure if you speak to Adam’s assistant you’ll find what you’re looking for.”

  “Okay, fine. Leave it to me and Amy to arrange, Richard.”

  Richard smiles and leaves the office. I can feel Amy’s eyes boring into me but I still can’t look at her. The second Adam’s name was mentioned, a feeling went through me from my very center to the tips of my toes and fingers, like a pebble hitting the stream and causing a ripple effect.

  “What’s going on in that mind of yours, Macey?” Amy says. “You’re not planning to make a play for Adam after all this time are you?”

  “No, that’s crazy. How could I when he’s well and truly with his wife now? I shouldn’t be feeling like this.” I get up and rub my back.

  “Like what?” Amy asks.

  “Like… excited, I guess. Maybe it’s just my hormones.”

  “If you’re feeling excited, Macey, it’s because you still haven’t gotten over the guy. This is nothing to do with hormones. Even after his wife said he was using you; even after he hung up on you when you said the baby could be his, you still love him don’t you?”

  “Look, Amy, I know—I know it’s crazy, but a part of me can’t let go. Of course I’m not going to say anything or try in the slightest to make a play for him. How could I? At least I have my pride.” I sit back at my desk. “I’m surprised he even wants to come here. He doesn’t have to. He could send a team without him. Why is he coming? It’s going to be awful.”

  “Well there’s nothing to say that you have to be here when the team arrives,” says Amy. “You could take a day off.”

  “This is very true. We’ll organize it all, the two of us, so that you can take on the administrative side on your own when they get here. That’s not a problem for you is it?”

  “Of course not. I’m going to have to do a part of your job, anyway, while you’re on your maternity break. So I might as well start learning now. It’s not long to go.”

  I rub my hand over my tummy. “I know.”

  “So that’s decided. Don’t you go stressing yourself out over bumping into him. You won’t need to see him and, trust me Macey, it’s for the best.

  That same evening, stressing myself is exactly what I’m doing. I’m home before Drew because his shift at the hospital was from mid-morning until early evening. When he comes home, he has elements of the smell of hospitals I like coupled with his own, heavily-worked body that he takes to the shower soon after he kisses me.

  I lie on the sofa, my bump protruding through my t-shirt and I can see the baby’s fist or elbow pushing at my skin as he or she stretches. There can’t be much room in there. Drew comes and sits on the floor next to the sofa and watches my tummy move before placing a hand on it and stroking the mound.

  “This little fella is active tonight,” he says.

  “He is. Hey, we keep referring
to him as a boy, I wonder what we’ll have.”

  “I don’t mind,” says Drew. “Either way we got to think about getting another place maybe. Somewhere with another room for when he’s too big to sleep in ours.”

  “Or too big to sleep in a cot. We don’t even have one of those yet. In fact all we have for this baby is the teddy bear you bought.”

  “Well, I’m already ahead of you on the cot. I bought one, today.” Drew looks proud.

  “You did?” I ease up onto my elbow.

  “And don’t worry, I got the one you like. The one we were looking at, pale yellow with the alphabet design on the headboard.”

  “That’s it, that’s the one I wanted. But it’s expensive, Drew.”

  “I know, but this is for our baby. Besides, if it’s expensive that means it should be strong and it’ll last for the next two or three kids.”

  “Two or three?!” I exclaim. I study Drew’s face. I see the love and pride in his eyes.

  Drew has been true to his word. He’s worked and paid towards the rent and other bills. He doesn’t drink and he’s cut all ties with Tiger and his other drug-taking friends. He’s done all the things he has promised to do for his baby and me. In the past few months, I have stopped living in fear of him and I’ve grown to love him again but not as a wife or lover would love. I love more like he’s my brother or a very good friend. A friend who knows me well and has known me since I was a girl.

  And it is because I love him as a good, close friend, I cannot bring myself to tell Drew that there is a fifty percent chance that the baby isn’t his. I suppose it’s because I don’t see why I need to hurt him in that way. If he thought I slept with another man, he would see it as an ultimate betrayal. And I know that that would be something he would never forgive.

  So, I think to myself, why rock the boat? I don’t need to say anything and that way; no one gets hurt. But, most of all, the baby gets to have a mother and father who both love him.

  “So the cot will be delivered next week,” Drew is saying. “I wasn’t going to say a word to you and wait to see your face when they knocked on the door. You happy?”

  “Sure I am, Drew. It’s a wonderful surprise. Thank you.”