The Baby Shower

by Tasha Blue et al.

  He moved the hand that had been stroking her arm and he placed his hand on her hardened belly. "You're carrying our child. Give our son this chance at a family," he said as he leaned down and kissed her lips softly again.

  "Think of our son... yours and mine... we made this baby together, you and me in a moment of passion so strong that it made a human life. That's powerful, babe." He rubbed her belly and pressed his lips to hers, parting hers with his tongue, kissing her fully then, tasting her, sucking on her tongue and driving her painful thoughts to the corner of her mind.

  His mouth left hers as he trailed his hot kisses to her ear again. "You're carrying our child, our son. Give the baby this chance at a family, Grace. Think of our son and his future. Put the baby first and give us a chance... you and me... and marry me, Grace. Be my wife. I'll give you a life you could never imagine."

  She gasped and a moment later his mouth was on hers again, kissing her fully, as he held her against him. Everything in her was rocketing in confusion as he let her go and looked into her eyes. "You owe it to our baby... this baby that you and I made in the heat of passion, to make us a real family. Say yes to me." He kissed her lips lightly as she stared at him with tears in her eyes, uncertain what to do. He kissed her sensually again and rubbed her belly gently. "You owe it to our son," he repeated as his lips left hers. "Say yes..." he insisted and kissed her mouth again for a moment. "Say yes for your son. Marry me," he almost demanded in a gentle voice as his lips neared hers. "You owe it to him, and you owe it to me. Now... say it, baby, say yes for me," he told her, looking into her eyes intensely.

  She was lost in a storm of confusion and pain and as strange as it was, it seemed like the only thing that was making any sense in it was him. "Yes..." she whispered.

  He closed his mouth over hers, drinking her kiss in for a long moment before raising his head and looking down at her with a wide smile. "That's my girl," he told her quietly.

  He brought her mouth to his and took it over hotly as his hand slipped up over her blouse and found its way to her breast. The moment his fingers were cupped around it, she was startled by what he was doing and she pushed him away from her.

  "I... I don't want that... not... not yet. I'm sorry. I know Oliver left me and I'm on my own, and I will marry you, but I can't be with you like that. Not... not yet. I'm not ready yet," she said as panic and pain filled her voice.

  He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "That's alright baby. We have time. We have our whole lives ahead of us, don't we?" He smiled and reached out to touch her cheek. Then he turned and walked away, leaving her alone in the greenhouse with her broken and confused heart.

  ***

  Days seemed to pass slowly, one after the next, and Grace didn't see Lance hardly at all. When she did, he was flirtatious with her, hugging her, kissing her, trying to touch her, but she would move his hands from her and he would nod and vanish again for more chunks of time. She was on her own, not seeing him much, and never seeing Oliver. The one person she did see more than any other was Henry, who was thrilled beyond measure that she was going to be his daughter in law.

  He told her that nothing else except the birth of the baby could make him happier, and that added to the weight in her heart that had settled there after she had slept on her agreement to marry Lance. She woke wondering what she had been thinking, but she couldn't find him to talk with him about it and she saw Henry who was elated over the engagement before she saw Lance again. Henry's happiness had made her feel trapped as if she couldn't back out on the marriage now that he was so delighted by it.

  Lance had put a big diamond ring on her finger and kissed her again when she saw him after Henry. She gave in then, guessing that her life was mapped out for her and she might as well get used to it.

  She spent most of her time in the greenhouse, and was only really in the main house for meals and sleeping. There was almost no joy there for her now, save for Henry when she saw him, and the baby growing in her belly.

  She had a baby doctor appointment every two weeks at that point and she was expecting the doctor one afternoon when she realized that Lance had never seen the doctor with her, and she thought that he might like to. She went looking for him in his room and didn't find him there or anywhere else. Henry was out by the pond that afternoon as he always was, and there was only one place she hadn't looked.

  Grace knocked softly on the door to Oliver's office. She hadn't seen him since he had broken up with her. She wasn't even sure if Oliver was still in the house, though she had seen his car in the garage a few times. She couldn't believe she was going to look for Lance in Oliver's office, but she had no choice; he wasn't anywhere in the house.

  "Come in," he called out.

  The sound of his voice had been gone from her for so long that her breath caught when she heard it, and her heart began to pick up speed. She stopped short for a moment and then took a deep breath and turned the handle of the door, stepping into Oliver's office. Her eyes met his and there was a powerful connection electrified between them. He stared at her for a long moment in silence and then stood up and walked slowly across his office to her, his eyes on hers the whole time.

  As he neared her, she swore she could see horrible pain and suffering in his eyes, and she wanted to reach out to him to comfort him, but as her hand went up, she remembered herself and she lowered it.

  "Grace..." he whispered hoarsely, his eyes locked on hers.

  She felt her heart quicken at the sound of him saying her name. "Oliver..." she answered him breathlessly.

  "How... how have you been?" he asked awkwardly, almost as if it hurt him to ask.

  She shook her head. She couldn't let him know how much he had hurt her. "I'm fine," she lied. She drew in a deep breath. "I'm sorry I interrupted you. I was just looking for Lance. I thought he might be with you. Do you know where he is?" she asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

  He shook his head. "No," he said quietly. He gazed into her dark eyes for a moment and then reached his hand out toward her, taking her left hand in his. She could not believe the electricity that moved through her as his skin touched hers. Her body and her heart seemed to come to life at his touch.

  She tried to make the feelings in her stop, but standing there before him, so near him as he held her hand and looked into her eyes, she found it impossible. He stepped toward her, just inches from her, and her breath caught and her heart pounded, but then he stopped, and blinked.

  Oliver raised her left hand in his and looked down at the shining rock on her finger. They were both still as he gazed at it hard. He couldn't believe he was looking at it. He had dreamed of putting a ring on her finger, and now that dream was Lance's reality.

  "Are you happy with him?" he asked her in a strange voice. His eyes and mouth betrayed his sadness.

  She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to tell him that she had never been more miserable in her life. "I guess so," she said just above a whisper.

  He raised his eyes to hers and for a moment, it felt like there was nothing around them in the whole universe, and somehow only the two of them existed. He reached his hands to her lower arms and touched them softly, leaning in closer to her. Her heart raced as his mouth drew near to hers, and he was close, so close, but then his hands slid down her arms to hold her hands and he felt her ring again. He stopped suddenly, and just as she thought he was going to kiss her, he leaned back and pulled away from her, letting her go completely.

  He sighed heavily and turned toward his desk, leaving her behind him. She hated to see him turn away from her and she went after him, touching his back with her fingertips. He stopped and stood still for a moment and then turned to look at her again.

  "What is it?" he asked in a soft voice, his eyes searching hers as if he was lost without her.

  "How... how are you doing?" she asked him in return, wishing she could wrap him in her arms.

  He was quiet a long moment. He knew he had no business answering her honestly.
Not now, not that she was engaged to his brother. "I miss our talks... and our time together," he said in a low voice.

  She nodded. "Me, too."

  His heart was breaking in two all over again, watching her stand there before him, looking at him like she was, as if she loved him and he wasn't the worst person in the world.

  "We should... we should try to keep our friendship, Oliver. It's such a good one. We don't have to let that go," she told him earnestly as some fusion of hope and love and painful regret coursed through her.

  He bit his lower lip in an effort to stop himself from saying that he still wanted so much more from her than just friendship. That friendship was never going to be enough for him, and that there was no way he was going to be able to live under the same roof as she and Lance after they were married. Their friendship was gone, because it was too hard to love her as a friend and not be able to have her as his own wife.

  Then he realized how selfish that was, just as selfish as it had been to take her away from Lance, and he looked up at her and nodded. "We are always going to have our friendship, because no matter what has changed between us, and no matter what different paths our futures hold, I love you, Grace, and I always will, so our friendship will be based in that, and it will last always."

  Grace's eyes filled with tears. She knew he had finally voiced what he really felt, or at least some of it, and she nodded back. "I love you, too, Oliver. We'll always have the friendship."

  Watching her sadness, he couldn't hold himself back from her any longer. He reached his arms around her and pulled her into a close embrace, burying his face in her neck and hair and breathing her in. Lilac. She was wearing lilac and it smelled like springtime and new life.

  He let her go from their embrace, bringing his hands up to her face and holding her. He nearly leaned to her to kiss her, and for a moment, she thought he was going to, but then he smiled just a little at her, as if it pained him to do it, and he let her go and stepped away from her.

  "Congratulations on your marriage. I hope you will both be happy together." he said quietly as he looked away from her.

  She almost choked on her tears. It was clear that he meant it, and that hurt more than anything. She wished with all of her heart that she could be happy with him, but she knew that wasn't going to happen.

  "Thank you." she whispered quietly. "I guess I'll go look for him... again." she said just above a whisper, as the misery came flooding back into her heart.

  She turned and walked out of the door and he watched her take every step away from him and close the door behind her. She could not stop the waterfall of tears that cascaded down her cheeks, and all that was left for her was to hurry to her room, barely making it to her bed before the sobs overtook her and she cried long and hard until she cried herself to sleep and dreamed. In her dreams, she was lost and looking all throughout the house for Oliver, but Lance was behind every door, and would not let her in.

  ***

  Life in the mansion changed very little as she made her way through the eighth month of her pregnancy. Lance was very seldom around, often gone entirely from the house, and when she did see him, there was little more between them than an occasional kiss, usually on the cheek, and then he would go off to his room, or the library in the house, or his office, and close the door behind him, leaving her alone.

  She saw Henry quite often, and he was always interested in her health and happiness, and the baby's, but he was by no means enough to fill the void that had been left when she and Oliver had broken apart. She saw Oliver regularly throughout the house, and when she did she watched him, when she thought he wasn't looking, and she didn't know that he watched her with the same intensity when he thought she wasn't aware of it. They kept a distance from each other, not wanting to get too close, not wanting to want more or hurt more, they just stayed close enough to be near, but not near enough to be close.

  Aside from her son growing big in her belly, she felt that her life was hollow, like a shell with nothing really inside of it. It had seemed so perfect before, when she was with Oliver, before Lance came back, but with each day passing as if it was strangled in some strange way, she could only feel the emptiness that consumed the space in her life where so much happiness and bliss used to be.

  Grace spent part of her time trying to plan her wedding with Lance, though she hadn't gotten much done with it.

  She found him in the library one late afternoon. It had begun to get dark early as fall came, and that afternoon there were thick black clouds hanging low in the sky, drenching the world in a cold fierce rain. Lance was sitting on the sofa beside the fireplace, skimming over pages on his tablet. Grace walked over to him and he looked up at her, startled, and a look of annoyance crossed his face briefly as he flipped the tablet over onto his lap, putting the screen face down.

  "I'm sorry to bother you," she told him with a hesitant smile. "I thought we could talk about the wedding, if you aren't busy."

  He sighed. "I was busy, as you can see, but now you have my attention. What is it that you need?"

  She drew a deep breath and her mind sifted through the long list of things she needed help with. "Well, to begin with, you and I haven't chosen a date, so we need to do that. Also, I need help with choosing a venue, and—“

  He stood up suddenly and interrupted her. "Have it here," he told her shortly as he slid his tablet back into its case and walked over to a desk where he put it into a drawer and locked the drawer with a key.

  "Okay," she said thoughtfully, "I'd like to have it here, too. I also need your input on what colors you want—“

  He looked around the desk as if he was trying to find something. "I don't care what the colors are," he interrupted her again.

  She sighed. She didn't feel as if she was getting very far with it. The baby turned and the movement made her lower backache. She shifted and tried to get as comfortable as she could. "What about food?"

  "I don't care what kind of food you serve," he said, searching through desk drawers with no luck.

  She pushed herself up off of the sofa with some difficulty, and walked away from the fireplace, feeling overheated and uncomfortable. "What about music?" she continued.

  He finally looked up at her in irritation. "I don't care about the damn music! Can't you take care of that wedding on your own? Do I have to hold your hand through the whole damn process? You're a big girl... don't all girls want to do their own wedding? Isn't that like... some girl dream of yours? The big fancy wedding? What do you keep asking me all these questions for?" he slammed the last drawer shut and looked at her angrily as he walked over to the table by the door.

  She was growing more and more angry with him as his attitude seemed to worsen. "I'm asking you for input because this is our wedding... both of us.... and you should have something to say about it. I don't know what you want or how much of it you want to be a part of, because you never talk to me and you're never here!" she finally snapped at him.

  He yanked some papers up off of the table by the door and found what he had been looking for. He plucked the keys up and looked up at her as he opened the door to the library.

  "I don't care about the wedding, Grace, do whatever the hell you want to do with it, okay? Maybe if you paid attention a little more, you'd figure out that I don't care because I haven't said a word about it! Quit pestering me about all the minutia of it, and just do the damn thing already, and don't worry about me never being here! Where I go and when and what I do while I am gone is not your business! I'll be gone as much as I want to be, and I'll do what I want to do, and you better get used to that right now, because that is not going to change!" he yelled at her as he turned and stalked out of the door and toward the foyer.

  She went after him, feeling all the anguish, anger, and frustration she had been enduring build up in her and come to a head. "When this baby is born you had better stick around a lot more often than you do now! You'll have the responsibilities of a father and I expect you to take that
seriously!"

  He wheeled on her just as he reached the door and he jabbed his pointed finger toward her face. "Don't you ever dare to tell me what my responsibilities are, don't you ever try to tell me what to do, and don't you raise your voice at me!" he yelled even louder as he yanked the front door open, stomped through it out into the dark stormy afternoon, and slammed it hard behind him.

  Every ounce of pain and loss in her rose to the surface then, and she closed her eyes against it, but it overwhelmed her immediately, and she cried out as the sobs began to take over. She turned and rushed through the house as fast as she could, heading toward the back doors.

  She couldn't believe that she had ever agreed to marry him. She couldn't believe that she had gotten pregnant with his child. She was hurt that Oliver had left her to Lance, and that he didn't want her enough to keep her. She was angry and hurt that Lance didn't have any interest in her at all, and she was planning on spending the rest of her life with him.

  She opened the back door and ran out into the downpour of rain, heading for the greenhouse as the skies above dumped water to equal the tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she wept bitterly. She ran through the dark afternoon, barely able to see where she was going as the storm raged around her, the rain pounding against her, and the wind whipping her skirt across her legs. She felt as if her heart had been broken over and over, and nothing would ever make it whole again.

  Running as quickly as she could through the solid wall of rain, she misjudged the top stair on the path to the greenhouse, and slipped, realizing too late that there was nothing for her to grab onto, no way for her to stop herself, and her arms flung about her head wildly as she screamed in terror and fell down the steps, hitting her knees and then her hands and arms, and trying to curl into a ball to protect the baby as she tumbled the rest of the way down them to the landing at the bottom.