Edge of Disaster

by A. M. Hargrove

“I...you...” I sniffed and snorted.

  “Look, the police are sending two detectives here at two. I’ll be here. I can wait outside and if you need me you can just call my name. Okay?”

  I nodded.

  “I have to go. Got some patients to see and all.” He headed out the door.

  “Pearce!”

  He stopped and turned around.

  “Thank you. So much. For everything. For holding my hand. For being there.”

  “I can still be there if you’d just stop pushing me away.”

  “I know.” The tears poured down my cheeks and I didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The police arrived at two on the nose and so did Pearce. Just like he promised, he stayed outside my room while they asked me questions I had no answers for. They kept asking me the same things over and over. I kept telling them the same things over and over. I couldn’t see who attacked me. I was hit from behind and knocked out. When I woke up it was dark. The one attacker had on a ski mask and then I was blindfolded. I never once saw my assailants. I woke up again on that bed and again in a van. And, finally on the side of the road where the couple found me and called 911. Apparently it was out on Johns Island, which was about ten miles away from the MUSC Trauma Center.

  No, I didn’t recognize them because I never saw any of them. No, I didn’t have any enemies that I was aware of. No, I didn’t recognize any voices. No, I hadn’t been threatened recently. I didn’t have any idea who would hurt me.

  They told me they had done a rape analysis on me and had gathered fingernail scrapings and other evidence off of me while I was in and out of it. I didn’t remember any of that. Then they started questioning my love life. A spurned lover perhaps. I told them I hadn’t dated anyone since Peter died. I’d only lived in Charleston for three years. I’d moved here from Lynchburg, Virginia. My head was pounding and my body was throbbing everywhere.

  When I couldn’t take it anymore, I burst out screaming at them, “I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re treating me like a criminal. I’m the victim here.” Then I was sobbing and Pearce was in the room ordering them to leave.

  I was so distraught by the whole ordeal, I couldn’t calm down. Pearce ended up having to order an anti-anxiety drug for me. He left to go back to work and I curled back up into a ball on the bed.

  Terri popped back in thinking she would find me in the same condition as she left me. Well, that wasn’t the case. She wanted to march over to the police station and kick some ass. She was super pissed.

  “I can’t believe they did that to you. The next time those asshats come in here, I’m gonna be here with you.”

  “Maybe I should get a lawyer or something,” I said dejectedly. “They’re making me feel like I did something to deserve this when all I did was walk home. I really don’t understand any of this. I’m gonna talk with Lisbeth. I’m sure she knows someone who can get them to change their tactics with me.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. If anyone can help, it’s Lisbeth.”

  ********

  Five days later I was released from the hospital. I went home to my little carriage house and locked myself inside. I didn’t want to come out ever again. Well, not really. I just wanted to feel normal again, but I feared that wouldn’t happen. I kept every light on in the place at night and I hardly sleep for the first week. I would get startled by the tiniest of noises. I was jumpy and agitated so, finally, Terri came and spent a few nights with me, just so I could get some rest. My clothes began to hang on me because I couldn’t eat anything substantial. Terri and Lisbeth fussed at me constantly and I tried, I really did, but I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind that someone had wanted to kill me.

  Pearce called every day to check on me, and I went to see his partner for my follow up appointments. My ankle and wrist healed up quickly and after about eight weeks I was able to quit wearing that monster black boot.

  The police said they couldn’t find any leads. The rape analysis came back negative as did the fingernail scrapings. The only thing they found were tire marks near where I was dumped and so far they couldn’t come up with anything else. I was living in a nightmare. Every night I had them and every day the abduction was on my mind.

  I’d lost my job at Camellia’s. I couldn’t blame the owner though. He couldn’t afford to hold my job because it would be quite a while before I would be able to go back to work. He promised that as soon as he had an opening again, it would be mine. My checkbook was pretty much down to nothing. I was flat broke and scared of my own shadow. My hospital bills were crazy. I couldn’t even look at them because they made me sick to my stomach.

  Thank God for Lisbeth. I still did lots of things for her and she was paying me weekly, as well as covering my rent. I had to pick some things up for her from her decorator and was dropping them off at her house one afternoon when I walked in and accidentally overheard a conversation she was having.

  “Well you need to do something about it. I think they’d make a marvelous couple.”

  “Lisbeth, what would you like for me to do? Ground the boy? Pearce is an adult and will do as he wants. Besides, as I understand it, it’s not for lack of trying on his end.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “What it means is that he’s called Alexia time and time again and she still refuses him. I can’t understand it either. Why, he’s the most eligible bachelor in all of South Carolina!”

  “Well, then perhaps it’s time for us to play matchmaker.”

  “Oh dear, what do you have up your sleeve?”

  “I don’t know, but I’ll figure something out.”

  I hurried out of the house, not wanting to be discovered. I came back in then and made all sorts of noises so they’d know I was there. I called to Lisbeth from the hallway, told her I’d left her things but had to leave in a hurry. I dashed out of there before they could trap me into something I didn’t want to have any part of.

  Matchmaking! Shit, just what I need. Then what would I do? How would I explain to Lisbeth, when Pearce took off like a bat out of hell, why he didn’t want to hang around the slut who was responsible for the death of her last boyfriend, and then went around and slept with every guy she could get her hands on? Oh yeah, I’m the perfect date for the most eligible bachelor in South Carolina. Shitfuckdamnhell!

  I still had issues with my attack. My social life became nonexistent, except for seeing Terri. Nighttime was the worst. I was the antithesis of a vampire. When dusk hit, I scurried for home. I would start to freak if I was somewhere and didn’t think I’d be home until after dark. If I wasn’t constantly surrounded by light, I would start to resemble a bobblehead doll, because that’s what my head would do. Those giant spotlight kind of flashlights became my constant companions, as I always carried one or two in my car, just in case I got tied up and didn’t get home until after dark.

  I started job hunting but was having trouble finding anything. None of the restaurants had any openings and I had applications in everywhere. I worried about getting hired somewhere that would require me to work late at night because I didn’t know what I’d do about getting home after dark. My stomach would churn and send me running for the bathroom just thinking about it.

  One day, I finally got a call from a software company and they wanted me to work full time in their marketing department. I was torn because that would mean I couldn’t work for Lisbeth anymore. The pay was decent, but I’d also give up my free rent.

  She needed to know what was going on so I went to her the next day and laid everything out. She was so excited about the possibilities for me. Lisbeth always wanted me to do more as far as a career was concerned so she knew this was the perfect opportunity for me.

  “But what about our arrangement?”

  “You can do some things for me on the weekend and I’ll only charge you half rent. How about that?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “What? Do you think I’m so old I don’
t know what I’m talking about anymore. Of course I’m sure.”

  “Well, in that case, it’s a deal. And if you need anything during the week, just call my cell phone and I can do it on my way home from work.”

  “Alexia, I’ve been meaning to ask you. How are you doing these days?”

  I wanna run and hide in my house and never come out because when I do, I feel like I’m getting ready to plunge off the edge of a cliff.

  “I’m fine.”

  “The truth dear. I’m an old woman. I see things. I want to know.”

  I looked at her and I felt myself unraveling. The only person I’d let in was Terri. I didn’t want to dump this on Lisbeth because she was elderly and didn’t need this kind of shit in her life now.

  So I smiled and said, “I’m better, really I am.”

  “Honey, you are the worst liar I’ve ever known. I know you are miserable. I can see the pain of it in your eyes, not to mention you look like a scarecrow. Why won’t you talk to me?”

  “I don’t want to burden you with my silly issues.”

  “Alexia, your issues are anything but silly. You nearly died. I think it would help you if you talked about it. And I hope you know I care about you.”

  We were sitting in her favorite room and I was seated next to her on the sofa. I had my hands clasped on my lap and I looked down and them because I didn’t want her to see the tears in my eyes. Her arm reached across and she placed her hand on top of mind and patted them.

  “Alexia honey, I don’t know what happened between you and your parents, but they should be strung up in town square. Does Lynchburg even have a town square? Oh hell, it doesn’t matter. Listen to me sweetie, I care about you and I want you to get some help. You need to talk to someone about what happened to you. If you won’t talk to me, I’d like for you to talk to a professional counselor.”

  “Lisbeth, I know you mean well, and I thank you for it. But I can’t afford it.”

  “Honey, if you’d keep quiet and let me finish, I was going to say, that I’d be willing to pay for it. I want you to come back out of your shell. I know there’s a young woman inside of you that’s intelligent, strong and capable of taking on this world. And I for one would love to see her emerge. Will you please at least think about it? And before you give me your answer, I want you to take this job and show that company everything you’ve got. I believe you could run that company one day if someone would give you half a chance.”

  God, I loved that woman!

  ********

  It was late October when I started my job and I ended up taking to it like a fish in water. My manager and I got along really well and he kept pushing me to do more. I gladly took on the extra responsibility and seemed to thrive on it.

  Lisbeth called me one night and asked if I could take her to a party on the following Saturday. It was the end of November, and she said it was one of those tea party things, the kind that she really hated. She didn’t want to stay long, so she asked me to drive her and wait in the car.

  I sat in Lisbeth’s Cadillac, in front of one of Charleston’s finest homes on the battery, and was reading my Kindle when I heard a tap at my window. I looked up and my heart immediately started doing laps around the Charlotte Motor Speedway. At that rate, it could’ve edged out #88 and really pissed off Junior.

  Why the hell did he have to look so damn good? Shitfuckdamnhell!

  I rolled down the window.

  “Hey,” I said. Why did my voice have to sound so damn breathy?

  “Hey yourself. Are you here with Lisbeth?”

  “Yeah. You?”

  “My grandmother asked me to bring her. Although I can’t figure out why when we only...oh no. I think I smell a rat.” He lifted his head up and sighed.

  “What?”

  “Gran and Lisbeth. Scheming.”

  My face started to burn. Really burn. Then the rest of me followed.

  Double shitfuckdamnhell!

  “Look, do you mind if I get in?”

  “Er, no.”

  Oh God help me. I need strength around this man.

  He jogged around to the other side of the car and got in. Then he grinned. And I melted.

  “I think they’ve been scheming to get us together.”

  I dropped my head down and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry I never called you Pearce. You were the best...really...I should have thanked you with dinner or something. That was very unmannerly of me. Please forgive me.”

  “You’re forgiven on one condition. Go to dinner with me.”

  Triple shitfuckdamnhell!

  “Well, I suppose it would be impossible to refuse you now,” I admitted. It would have been worse than rude at this point.

  “So when?”

  “Next weekend?”

  “That works for me. So how are you?” His gaze penetrated mine and I shivered.

  I half-smiled and said, “I’ve been better.”

  “I’m sorry Alexia.”

  ********

  The following weekend, he picked me up, on foot, and we went to dinner.

  “I hope you don’t mind the walk.”

  “No, I love to walk.”

  I was so nervous that I rubbed my hands against each other and then on my legs. I finally clamped my hands together so I’d quit altogether. He noticed my fidgeting and stopped walking.

  Turning to me he said, “Do I make you nervous?”

  “No. Yes. No, I make me nervous.”

  Oh, hell. Why can’t I just be normal like other girls?

  He grabbed my icy hands in his and said, “You’re cold.”

  “No, I’m fine.” I tried to pull my hands from his, but he wouldn’t let me.

  “Why do you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Try to pretend things? I can tell you like me...or at least you want to. But you’re trying to pretend you don’t.”

  Oh no.

  “Look, Pearce, I...”

  “Alexia, let’s just go have a nice dinner. And let me hold your hands and warm them, okay? I promise I won’t hurt you.”

  But that’s not what I’m afraid of...I’m afraid of hurting you.

  I shook my head and said, “Okay.”

  We went to Rick’s, a restaurant that specialized in seafood, and had a great time. He was very engaging and I laughed at almost everything he said. I don’t remember any of it, but I was so happy that night. So fucking happy. No ghosts poked into my head to ruin anything. No memories of nights with men I didn’t know. It was just Pearce and Lexi. And it scared the crap out of me.

  He walked me home and on the way he told me something that almost made me cry.

  “I regret the hell out of letting you go that night Alexia. If I had stayed with you, insisted on walking you home, you would’ve been safe.”

  “Don’t say that. You couldn’t have known. Besides, this is the first time I’ve been out after dark and don’t feel scared to death. Don’t ruin it.”

  He kissed me on my cheek and waited until I got inside to leave.

  Why oh why? He is a dream come true but I don’t trust myself enough with him yet.

  As I knew he would, Pearce called me the next day and the next and every day after that. Some days I answered and we’d talk for a long time and others I would let it go to my voicemail. Then he’d text me.

  P: You can run but you can’t hide, lol!

  I’d call him back. We’d meet for a drink but I was really scared. I knew I had to tell him something. He deserved an explanation of why I was behaving like this. I couldn’t disguise my feelings for him. It was damn near impossible.

  When the holidays rolled around, our whole department went to Camellia’s for our Christmas party. There were only twenty-two people in our group, so they put us in the big room in the back. It was odd going there as a guest. I scooted into the kitchen to say hi to everyone and got hugs from the chef/owner. We chatted for a bit and I headed back to the table.

  On my way back, I happened to glanc
e across the room and I saw Pearce seated at a table for two. He was talking intimately with a perfectly beautiful blonde. My heart plunged and my stomach twisted. I don’t know why, as I hadn’t exactly been there when he wanted me to be. He probably figured he’d tried enough so he’d given up and I really couldn’t blame him, but damn it killed seeing him like that. I watched him smile and he lifted his hand and grabbed his date’s hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

  I don’t know how long I stood and stared, but I found I couldn’t make myself move. My feet felt like cinder blocks. Suddenly he lifted his head and his eyes landed directly on mine. My eyes widened for a moment, my face heated up, but I quickly bent my head down and forced myself to move my feet.

  I turned toward the restrooms, intending to hide there for a few moments, but I never made it.

  “Alexia, wait.”

  I swallowed that thick lump in my throat, doing my best to force it down. I put on my best smile and turned.

  “Hi Pearce. It’s really great to see you.” My voice shook and I prayed that he didn’t notice.

  No such luck. “Are you okay?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m good, thanks. And you?”

  “I’m fine too.”

  “I’m here for my work Christmas party.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Uh huh. We’re in that big room in the back.”

  “Oh great.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “Sounds like fun,” he said.

  “No, it doesn’t. You’re just being polite.” I laughed.

  “Oh, you’re so wrong Alexia. Everything about you interests me. Except you still won’t let me in.”

  My face flushed with heat again and I bent my head to look at my feet. I had on sandals that were outdated. I couldn’t afford new shoes so I had to wear those old ones. My pants mostly covered them so I hoped he didn’t notice. They weren’t exactly the highest element of fashion either. I really hadn’t bought any clothes in several years, other than a few items I’d scored from consignment shops, so those were dated as well. Not to mention I still hadn’t gained back all the weight I lost so I’m sure I looked haggard as hell.